What's the worst thing that's happened to you at glasto

[simonizer]

Mine was when totally off my face I was hit by a sudden and immediate need to void my bowels. I entered the first cubicle I could find and sat down in a pool of nicely chilled piss. Too late to do anything & too crucified to care , I spent the rest of the night stinking like a long drop. Nice.

[.jay.]

been twice

sharted twice

[Phil-itfc]

went in the only bog in glastonbury that had no bog roll. I had to squelch back to my tent.

thats why you should alway take more underwear than you think you need to a festival.

[abu hamster]

went in the only bog in glastonbury that had no bog roll. I had to squelch back to my tent.

thats why you should alway take more underwear than you think you need to a festival.

[ivan]

A few years back in one of the clubs in Lost Vagueness.

One of the girls in our group had her birthday that day.

Off my face that night , I thought the dj in one of the clubs was like the dj you would get at a crap

wedding , not a full techno dj.

And I kept asking him to pick up a microphone , stop what he was playing and wish the girl a happy

birthday and all the crowd could sing along !

[Bort]

Taking a shit in the longdrop. Never again. Comfortable crappers for life. But the worst was setting up my tent. Wrong directions, no light, no help.

[4AssedMonkey]

I missed Doves on Friday in the JP as I was shitting myself inside out in a Turdis. That was the lowest I felt all weekend as I was so looking forward to it.

[Mel & Claire]

Something that sticks out is going to one of the Portaloos and looking at the handle you have to pump it all away, and not knowing if it was mud on the handle or something else...

[sisterofmercy]

This thread makes me feel sick.

The only thing along that vein that made me feel a bit queasy was breaking the big rule of the open air toilets- I looked down.

Never again..

[simonizer]

It doesn't have to be toilet related. Is everyone obsessed with shit ?

[rostalof]

It doesn't have to be toilet related. Is everyone obsessed with shit ?

[Josie's Cat]

It doesn't have to be toilet related. Is everyone obsessed with shit ?

[grumpyhack]

Non shit related.......

I went one year and wasn't thinking when I parked my car. So instead of noting its position in the car park, I only made a mental note that it was parked next to a big red van.

When I came to leave I got to the car park and of course the big red van had left before me. Spent half an hour wandering round looking for my car. Felt a right prat and was starting to think I'd have to wait till everyone else left and then my car would be the last one there.

[Mel & Claire]

Actually, pretty bad was wondering round with all the heavy stuff trying to find a pitch big enough for 2 tents at midnight on the Wednesday, then having to pitch them in the dark by torchlight. Thank God we had great neighbours who helped us out! That tent was hard to enough to pitch in daylight, nevermind at night when you're really tired.

Oh yeah, and leaving, having to carry the little trollies we brought with us to help us trundle stuff about along with everything else we had back to the coach, because they wouldn't go through the mud due to it raining on Monday morning.

[Josie's Cat]

was also trying to pitch up around midnight - had no idea where anything was, got directed towards the Pyramid stage

"You see that white light over there?"

"No"

"Look, see it's the top of the pyramid. Right there."

"No. I can see some lights. They're round though."

"The white one. In front of you. Shaped like a pyramid."

"No"

Sighs - "Okay, just follow this lane and ask someone when you reach the end..."

[ivan]

Non shit related.......

I went one year and wasn't thinking when I parked my car. So instead of noting its position in the car park, I only made a mental note that it was parked next to a big red van.

When I came to leave I got to the car park and of course the big red van had left before me. Spent half an hour wandering round looking for my car. Felt a right prat and was starting to think I'd have to wait till everyone else left and then my car would be the last one there.

[CrispyRed]

I didn't like all these stories about thieves coming into your tent when you are asleep and as I was on my own this year I very stupidly decided to padlock myself inside my tent one night.

Woke up at 4am dying for a piss but couldn't find the key for the padlock. Had not brought a pee bottle with me that year and had left my torch behind in the car.

Tried forcing the padlock open but only succeeded in breaking it further which meant the bloody thing became even more resistant.

Eventually after 30 mins of a sort of claustrophobic type blind panic in the dark thinking I'd never get out of my tent again and desparately trying not to piss everywhere I cut a hole big enough for me to tear my way out.

I fell out of my tent with a massive sigh as though I had just escaped a Colditz tunnel right in front of a young woman who was looking for her tent.

She looked at me in startled bemusement. Then I realised I wasn't wearing ay underwear.

[rachbon]

I didn't like all these stories about thieves coming into your tent when you are asleep and as I was on my own this year I very stupidly decided to padlock myself inside my tent one night.

Woke up at 4am dying for a piss but couldn't find the key for the padlock. Had not brought a pee bottle with me that year and had left my torch behind in the car.

Tried forcing the padlock open but only succeeded in breaking it further which meant the bloody thing became even more resistant.

Eventually after 30 mins of a sort of claustrophobic type blind panic in the dark thinking I'd never get out of my tent again and desparately trying not to piss everywhere I cut a hole big enough for me to tear my way out.

I fell out of my tent with a massive sigh as though I had just escaped a Colditz tunnel right in front of a young woman who was looking for her tent.

She looked at me in startled bemusement. Then I realised I wasn't wearing ay underwear.

[sisterofmercy]

I didn't like all these stories about thieves coming into your tent when you are asleep and as I was on my own this year I very stupidly decided to padlock myself inside my tent one night.

Woke up at 4am dying for a piss but couldn't find the key for the padlock. Had not brought a pee bottle with me that year and had left my torch behind in the car.

Tried forcing the padlock open but only succeeded in breaking it further which meant the bloody thing became even more resistant.

Eventually after 30 mins of a sort of claustrophobic type blind panic in the dark thinking I'd never get out of my tent again and desparately trying not to piss everywhere I cut a hole big enough for me to tear my way out.

I fell out of my tent with a massive sigh as though I had just escaped a Colditz tunnel right in front of a young woman who was looking for her tent.

She looked at me in startled bemusement. Then I realised I wasn't wearing ay underwear.

[barra]

passing out while getting head... then waking up and not knowing why my girlfriend was angry at me

[G1T]

It's a toss up for me...

Glasto '97, spent the whole day watching bands on the pyramid stage, was an awesome lineup that year, beck, umm, some other bands, all ending with the prodigy headlining. Ended up right down the front for the prodigy, but there was a massive crush, and i suddenly realised i hadn't actually eaten all day. Cue nearly passing out, getting dragged over the barrier by security. Managed to get some food whilst still feeling really faint and pretty damp, but couldn't sit anywhere cos the site was a swamp.

Glasto '98 - got caught in a rain shower, and after the second to last band on the pyramid, i headed over to jazzworld to see Portishead. Again, trudging through knee deep mud, and it was freezing cold, to the point that i started to shiver uncontrollably and have my vision go weird. Made it to a beer tent halfway between the two stages, and sat in it trying to discretely huddle close to as many people as possible to warm up again. Felt like it was a close one, was very nearly properly ill, and wouldn't have wanted to have collapsed in that mud.

Since then I've learned to glastonbury properly, and it's been all good.

[Artie Fufkin]

Sorry mine is shit related.

In '05 i took a load of fresh magic mushrooms with me in a tupperware (ahh, the days when you could buy them in a shop!). To keep them fresh i packed them in ice in a coolbag. The thursday was really hot and all the ice melted, flooding the tupperware and soaking the mushrooms. I went to partake on thursday evening and found a load of soggy mushrooms, they smelt a bit funny but i decided to take some anyway.

So everything was fine, had a nice trip, that is until about 5 oclock friday morning. The mushrooms had obviously gone off and i was in serious trouble. Serious stomach cramps, fever, chronic shits every 10 minutes ... for the next 5 hours.

The worst part was this coincided with THE lightning storm of '05. There i was running to the toilet every ten minutes, shitting my guts out in skanky glasto toilets as lightning was striking directly overhead and rain was pouring down like nothing i've seen.

One of the worst experiences of my life. I was very close to going home but i didn't give up. It got to about 7 friday evening, was feeling a little better after a snooze so popped an E and went raving to Fatboy Slim.

[catsta]

I didn't like all these stories about thieves coming into your tent when you are asleep and as I was on my own this year I very stupidly decided to padlock myself inside my tent one night.

Woke up at 4am dying for a piss but couldn't find the key for the padlock. Had not brought a pee bottle with me that year and had left my torch behind in the car.

Tried forcing the padlock open but only succeeded in breaking it further which meant the bloody thing became even more resistant.

Eventually after 30 mins of a sort of claustrophobic type blind panic in the dark thinking I'd never get out of my tent again and desparately trying not to piss everywhere I cut a hole big enough for me to tear my way out.

I fell out of my tent with a massive sigh as though I had just escaped a Colditz tunnel right in front of a young woman who was looking for her tent.

She looked at me in startled bemusement. Then I realised I wasn't wearing ay underwear.

[sums98]

Going over a tent rope in front of a group of lads.Whom were ever the gentlemen,didnt laugh and asked if i was ok..

Knocking a guys beer tray out of his hand during Kasabian..oops

Not too bad,bit embarrasing at the time.

[amfy]

Walking into the she pees in the dance field in 2008. They were nowhere near as sophisticated as the ones by the pyramid.

As I walked in there was a pit full of of God knows what, covered in boards, but I wasn't looking where I was going so I slipped, dislodging the boards, and falling into the pit up to my knees before all the other kind ladies managed to drag me out!

It was a good job we were in the she pees because everyone was literally pissing themselves!