Things that make you feel old

[worm]

My daughter came home (a few years ago now) and said that they would be learning about the olden times. It was the 70's

[feral chile]

My daughter, who's stressing about being the only girl, and the eldest, so she thinks she'll have to be looking after us in our old age. And the fact that she's already nagging us to declutter the house in readiness.

[grumpyhack]

Sorry to add a sombre note but going to funerals. Three this month. Two of them were only 54, both heart failure, and one 67 - cancer.

Also just received a book written by a very dear friend (my first real girlfriend over 40 years ago) chronicling her five year battle with cancer. She was given just six months when it was first diagnosed but is still fighting on five years down the line.

[feral chile]

Sorry to add a sombre note but going to funerals. Three this month. Two of them were only 54, both heart failure, and one 67 - cancer.

Also just received a book written by a very dear friend (my first real girlfriend over 40 years ago) chronicling her five year battle with cancer. She was given just six months when it was first diagnosed but is still fighting on five years down the line.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Sorry to add a sombre note but going to funerals. Three this month. Two of them were only 54, both heart failure, and one 67 - cancer.

Also just received a book written by a very dear friend (my first real girlfriend over 40 years ago) chronicling her five year battle with cancer. She was given just six months when it was first diagnosed but is still fighting on five years down the line.

[tolywoly]

Going to Leeds Festival - full of kids. When did that happen? It wasn't like that when I was a lad.

[feral chile]

Going to Leeds Festival - full of kids. When did that happen? It wasn't like that when I was a lad.

[worm]

Remembering how shocked I was on discovering my new boyfriend was 22, and therefore a grown man, as I was only 16.

[feral chile]

Thinking it was the end of the world when my first serious girlfriend cheated on me. Seeing it as a definable act that meant she couldn't possibly love me and preferred someone else/ to play around.

Then comparing it to the next girl to do this, which I saw as an inconsequential act relating to a much greater problem. Part of a much more meaningful emotional process that she was going through and that I had inadvertandly, and in part, caused.

It's interesting that I lost the first love who grew to resent me, but held on to second who grew to respect me more than I ever thought possible.

I thought we could use a positive example of 'feeling old'. Maybe if we say feeling old'er', it has a more positive connotation.

[lost]

Going to Leeds Festival - full of kids. When did that happen? It wasn't like that when I was a lad.

[worm]

That's a very good point, culty. Experience is a great teacher, if used wisely.

Edited August 27, 2011 by worm

[feral chile]

Experience changes our perception. I don't believe that it teaches us anything. Life is an ever-changing experience of the exact same phenomena, not a lesson.

Though I suppose you could say that we learn something about ourselves in the process, but we don't learn anything about life.

[worm]

mmm, I suppose what I meant was that our experience of the past, and our relationship to it, can influence how we interpret the present and the future. So we learn from what happened in the past, maybe reinterpret the events, and take action based on that interpretation - either realising we might have dealt with things better, or feeling we dealt with things successfully, and continue to act in a similar fashion.

And of course, the older we get, the more situations we need to deal with, and the more opportunities we have to reflect on other similar situations and actions.

[feral chile]

That incident in the past changed our perception of the present then. We didn't learn anything, we just perceived it differently.

[worm]

What do you think learning is?

Edited August 27, 2011 by worm

[worm]

that's learning (or making decisions) about yourself

Edited August 27, 2011 by worm

[worm]

is that the only type of learning there is? about your 'self'?

[grumpyhack]

This is all heavy stuff but as a tutor I do believe in learning.

Surely you can learn about things - for example I've discovered lots of interesting things about festivals on this forum.

You can learn how to do things - for example learn to ride a bike or drive a car.

And you can learn about yourself.

For me a lot of learning is about reflection. After attempting something you can ask yourself: 'What worked well, what didn't work so well and what could I do differently next time?'

[feral chile]

This is all heavy stuff but as a tutor I do believe in learning.

Surely you can learn about things - for example I've discovered lots of interesting things about festivals on this forum.

You can learn how to do things - for example learn to ride a bike or drive a car.

And you can learn about yourself.

For me a lot of learning is about reflection. After attempting something you can ask yourself: 'What worked well, what didn't work so well and what could I do differently next time?'

[grumpyhack]

I always try to separate the people of a country from the government. Rarely in many countries do much more than half the population vote for the government, so you can't assume that all people of a country think and espouse the views of their government. For example during the Thatcher years I would have been horrified if someone from another country assumed that I shared Thatcher's views. Just because she was Prime Minister didn't mean that I shared her views. But there is a danger that we accept national stereotypes and assume that all Brits or all Germans or whatever think alike.

[feral chile]

no... I'm suggesting the opposite

and then, often enough, you decide whether you want to do it again.

not all the time, but quite often, I can't help feeling that decisions made are what separates some of us.

take racism for example. Some people are termed racist, and some aren't. I was talking to a very open minded friend of mine, who says things like "look at the germans, they do 'that' (or whatever)"

so I point out the flaw, that some Germans might, but some English or some Italians (or whoever) do the same, and many Germans don't.

that seems like a simple decision he's made to accept that certain groups of people do some things in a certain way. Just as many people will accept another's opinion as more than just that (an opinion), and will use that 'opinion' to form their own thoughts...

[feral chile]

That assumes that you had a predetermined taste or distaste for something before you experienced it. I'm not having that Tony. As the addage goes, 'you don't know until you try'.

[feral chile]

it's more than a bit crap though when the generalisations are simply wrong and based on nothing at all...

I should have guessed racism wouldn't be the best example of what I was trying to say...

there are loads of things that we decide we want to do, but many people say "oh I don't do that", or "I can't do that", when the reality is you've decided you don't want to or can't do it. I sometimes think basic political views are choices. There's usually 2 (at least) sides to lots of things, and you take your pick as to which side you want to be on....

[feral chile]

back to things that make you feel old - feeling guilty that you think Jason Momoa (Conan) is really hot, because he's only 32.

[grumpyhack]

back to things that make you feel old - feeling guilty that you think Jason Momoa (Conan) is really hot, because he's only 32.