Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 25, 2018 Report Share Posted August 25, 2018 1 hour ago, mashedonmud said: Toothache cure is more gin, less tonic. If still no change then copious amounts of blue cheese soup. Dorset or any other county so as to be inclusive. The following indegestion should take your mind off toothache. According to my wife, my gin to tonic ratio is already brutal, so I'd better leave it at that on that front. It's kind of a case of pour the gin, show it the tonic bottle, and away we go! I've actually taken two ibuprofen, and they've worked a treat. Still wish I had some green though. I've moved from a city to a small country town, so the avenues for getting a hold of it are slimmer. I was given one bloke's number, texted him, but he never responded. No matter, I'll find somebody. I haven't actually put enough effort / any effort in to it, if I'm honest. You can get what you want almost anywhere on the planet if you try. I recall being in a little coastal village in Egypt once, and the bars had all shut, but we wanted more to drink. One of my friends, who is an expert at finding places to go, asked a taxi driver if there was anywhere still open. He said that there wasn't. My mate said that there was no way on the planet that there wasn't somewhere else to go, and demanded that the taxi driver take us there. One trip in to the desert later, we are at a scussy venue which was all full of male Egyptians watching female belly dancers, and almost w*nking themselves off with excitement. To me it was one of the most tawdry places I have ever visited, but it did sell alcohol, which is what we were after. Not really sure now, how I've managed to come out with that episode in my life. Ho hum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
semmtexx Posted August 25, 2018 Report Share Posted August 25, 2018 5 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said: I'd love some green now. And some blue cheese soup, for that matter. If I had to choose though, it would be the green rather than the blue. Something untoward is going on in my mouth right now. I think it's a loose tooth at the back. I'm trying to kill the pain by administering gin and tonic, and keeping it in that area for a while. It's not working, but I keep trying with glug after glug! I reckon a bit of green would have done the trick though. For medicinal purposes only, you understand. Bit late into the mix but have you got any cloves, you know, the things you cook with? They can help with tooth ache, suck one by the sore tooth and it'll help a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
semmtexx Posted August 25, 2018 Report Share Posted August 25, 2018 G&T tastes better though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 25, 2018 Report Share Posted August 25, 2018 15 minutes ago, semmtexx said: Bit late into the mix but have you got any cloves, you know, the things you cook with? They can help with tooth ache, suck one by the sore tooth and it'll help a bit. I think I have some clove oil somewhere. The problem with that, is that it gives you the feeling that our whole mouth is on fire. The only reason why you stop thinking about your sore tooth, is that you think that you are going to spontaneously human combust - such is the agony of clove oil. Now, this stuff (see below) is the bollocks. However, my stepson took my car away yesterday and has not returned with it, and my nearest chemist closed at 12 noon - too late for me to get some. Apologies - can't post the picture. Anyway - it's Oragel Dental gel. Marvellous stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
semmtexx Posted August 25, 2018 Report Share Posted August 25, 2018 1 minute ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said: I think I have some clove oil somewhere. The problem with that, is that it gives you the feeling that our whole mouth is on fire. The only reason why you stop thinking about your sore tooth, is that you think that you are going to spontaneously human combust - such is the agony of clove oil. Not much use on piles then!!!!! ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 14 hours ago, semmtexx said: Not much use on piles then!!!!! ? Christ, that doesn't bear thinking about. If one were to do that you'd be able to out perform any Russian gymnast, with the convoluted arm and leg movements that you'd be doing whilst gambolling and pirouetting like your life depended on it. One might even win a disco dancing competition with movements that would put John Travolta to shame! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
semmtexx Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 2 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said: Christ, that doesn't bear thinking about. If one were to do that you'd be able to out perform any Russian gymnast, with the convoluted arm and leg movements that you'd be doing whilst gambolling and pirouetting like your life depended on it. One might even win a disco dancing competition with movements that would put John Travolta to shame! You've seen me dance? Impressively uncoordinated... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 14 minutes ago, semmtexx said: You've seen me dance? Impressively uncoordinated... Germoloids suppositories - they're a real game changer if you've got farmers. Trust me on this one! Unfortunately I can't dance any longer. Even dad dancing is beyond my reach. Wow, but I used to be able to throw some shapes on the dance floor though. Or so I thought, in my drug addled head! The people I thought were smiling at me, were probably, in reality, laughing. Or trying their hardest not to laugh. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyfool01 Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 Is this the uncoordinated Dancers Thread ... count me in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 5 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said: Is this the uncoordinated Dancers Thread ... count me in Count yourself one of us. I can rock from side to side for a bit. I think that's the very bottom level that we should accept in the Uncoordinated Dancers Crew / Posse. However, I accept that there may be a little wiggle room, for even lower standards! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyfool01 Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 1 minute ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said: Count yourself one of us. I can rock from side to side for a bit. I think that's the very bottom level that we should accept in the Uncoordinated Dancers Crew / Posse. However, I accept that there may be a little wiggle room, for even lower standards! I need a little wiggle room .... in fact I need a lot of wiggle room Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 Just now, crazyfool1 said: I need a little wiggle room .... in fact I need a lot of wiggle room Take as much or as little as you like. What's important here is that your dancing abilities are negligible, and ideally, should be shocking to the human eye! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyfool01 Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 5 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said: Take as much or as little as you like. What's important here is that your dancing abilities are negligible, and ideally, should be shocking to the human eye! I do light up the dance floor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashedonmud Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 Is it acceptable to sometimes fall backwards plank like. Still smiling and with complete non spillage of chosen drink. I'm fuckin ace at that. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 32 minutes ago, mashedonmud said: Is it acceptable to sometimes fall backwards plank like. Still smiling and with complete non spillage of chosen drink. I'm fuckin ace at that. ? You dancing diva you! That's so good its probably at the top end of what's acceptable. As an aside, I know someone who, having been to the bar on a ferry, tried to get down a flight of stairs with a pint in each hand (one for him, and one for one of my brothers). He either tripped, or the ship swayed, or something, but the next thing (according to my brother) was that he was sliding down the stairs on his back, whilst keeping the pints as upright as he could. Apparently, he arrived at the bottom of the stairs, in a heap, but had only spilt about a centimetre off each pint. They were both fairly broke, so he'd taken the hit! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashedonmud Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 What about the Dorset Blue Cheese Soup.Have we forgotten the whole point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ommadawn Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 20 minutes ago, mashedonmud said: What about the Dorset Blue Cheese Soup.Have we forgotten the whole point. Depends on whether it makes you dance better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mashedonmud Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 8 minutes ago, Ommadawn said: Depends on whether it makes you dance better. Okay. I shall dance when stoned. I shall dance when pissed. And I'll dance when absolutely cheesed of my tiny fuckin rocker. I'll get the missus to video and then scientifically analyse the not to comedic results. Thanks for getting me back on topic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 26, 2018 Report Share Posted August 26, 2018 (edited) On 8/26/2018 at 11:18 PM, mashedonmud said: What about the Dorset Blue Cheese Soup.Have we forgotten the whole point. You're absolutely right mashedonmud, we need to stick to the point. Only I camembert what it was now! I'll get me coat! Edited August 30, 2018 by Yoghurt on a Stick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamber Posted August 27, 2018 Report Share Posted August 27, 2018 On 8/25/2018 at 5:35 PM, Yoghurt on a Stick said: According to my wife, my gin to tonic ratio is already brutal, so I'd better leave it at that on that front. It's kind of a case of pour the gin, show it the tonic bottle, and away we go! I've actually taken two ibuprofen, and they've worked a treat. Still wish I had some green though. I've moved from a city to a small country town, so the avenues for getting a hold of it are slimmer. I was given one bloke's number, texted him, but he never responded. No matter, I'll find somebody. I haven't actually put enough effort / any effort in to it, if I'm honest. You can get what you want almost anywhere on the planet if you try. I recall being in a little coastal village in Egypt once, and the bars had all shut, but we wanted more to drink. One of my friends, who is an expert at finding places to go, asked a taxi driver if there was anywhere still open. He said that there wasn't. My mate said that there was no way on the planet that there wasn't somewhere else to go, and demanded that the taxi driver take us there. One trip in to the desert later, we are at a scussy venue which was all full of male Egyptians watching female belly dancers, and almost w*nking themselves off with excitement. To me it was one of the most tawdry places I have ever visited, but it did sell alcohol, which is what we were after. Not really sure now, how I've managed to come out with that episode in my life. Ho hum! When in foreign lands, always respect the local customs. To behave otherwise is, frankly, disrespectful. That said, all of us British, who spent time abroad, done that disrespectful thing at least once, probably. Don't make it right. What a bunch of C*nts we turned out to be. Blue Cheese, lovely, mouldy, blue cheese. Roquefort. Better than Stilton. Love EU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 27, 2018 Report Share Posted August 27, 2018 1 hour ago, bamber said: When in foreign lands, always respect the local customs. To behave otherwise is, frankly, disrespectful. That said, all of us British, who spent time abroad, done that disrespectful thing at least once, probably. Don't make it right. What a bunch of C*nts we turned out to be. Blue Cheese, lovely, mouldy, blue cheese. Roquefort. Better than Stilton. Love EU. Hello bamber, Hope you are well. We weren't disrespectful to anybody - as in at all. When we got in to the place we moved to a section where we couldn't see the audience or the 'performance'. The taxi driver had been reluctant to take us, but that could have been for a variety of reasons. I do know that he got paid handsomely for his troubles - everybody I know pays well over in tips, especially on holiday ( We're stupid Brummies, and proud of it!). As to respecting local customs, I have done that wherever I've been. That's probably more out of self preservation though, than any altruistic stance. However, I'm not really one to accept the subjugation of women as a local / national custom as something that I should respect. It pains me to be PC, but on this one I simply have to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamber Posted August 27, 2018 Report Share Posted August 27, 2018 3 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said: Hello bamber, Hope you are well. We weren't disrespectful to anybody - as in at all. When we got in to the place we moved to a section where we couldn't see the audience or the 'performance'. The taxi driver had been reluctant to take us, but that could have been for a variety of reasons. I do know that he got paid handsomely for his troubles - everybody I know pays well over in tips, especially on holiday ( We're stupid Brummies, and proud of it!). As to respecting local customs, I have done that wherever I've been. That's probably more out of self preservation though, than any altruistic stance. However, I'm not really one to accept the subjugation of women as a local / national custom as something that I should respect. It pains me to be PC, but on this one I simply have to be. All good YOAS. Laid back, over and over... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamber Posted August 27, 2018 Report Share Posted August 27, 2018 So, what you think about Roquefort ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bamber Posted August 27, 2018 Report Share Posted August 27, 2018 Cheeeeesssse! Just the very highest pinnacle. It don't get better than this.... Crap Kraft Dinner........... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoghurt on a Stick Posted August 27, 2018 Report Share Posted August 27, 2018 2 hours ago, bamber said: That's where it's at. That looks very special. Very special indeed. 38 minutes ago, bamber said: That doesn't look as nice as the tops one, but yes, it still looks like a fine cheese. The best ever cheese I have tasted was bought in Orly, when I went to Paris to see the Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe one time. We were on an organised trip and staying in Orly. Everybody was supposed to get on a coach and go in to Paris for a few hours. Me and my mates though 'fuck that, we'll go in to Orly and save valuable drinking time'. What happened next was a kind of 'what happens in Orly, stays in Orly' kind of thing. Nothing sexually debauched ( I am happy to confirm), but debauched all the same. Anyway, at one point we realised that some food was physically essential, and went in to a grocer type establishment. There we bought some camembert and bread. When we got out and opened the camembert, the stench off it was phenomenal. It was off the scale mentally smelly. A bit like sulphur dioxide meets an allotment compost. Anyway, we decided to go ahead and eat the stuff, and fuck me stupid, was it delightful. I guess it's similar to the durian fruit in the far east - smelly as fuck, but tasty as tasty. Anyway, that's my cheese / cheesey story for you. I'll not tell you about how I went down to the hotel reception complaining that my mate had locked me out, and that I urgently needed to get a hold of my cocaine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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