Getting married and having children - is it so strange as a woman I don't want either?

[rachbon]

I'm not a feminist but that is one part of the marriage process I don't agree with - as a woman losing your last name and being replaced by your partners. I appreciate that you don't have to but it is still the tradition and many women do do it still let's be honest. Don't think I've met anyone who's kept their last name after marriage. Seems a bit unnecessary and by doing so for me it would feel like losing me and a part of my family

[TheGayTent]

Think people are getting a bit stupid.

IMO any wedding planning is a balance between what the couple want, and what the families and guests would want/be comfortable with.

[kaosmark2]

I think the only one getting hung up on tradition is you and the other rebels without causes, like ape boy and rach....

[kaosmark2]

Think people are getting a bit stupid.

[rachbon]

IMO any wedding planning is a balance between what the couple want, and what the families and guests would want/be comfortable with.

[fred quimby]

I'm not a feminist but that is one part of the marriage process I don't agree with - as a woman losing your last name and being replaced by your partners. I appreciate that you don't have to but it is still the tradition and many women do do it still let's be honest. Don't think I've met anyone who's kept their last name after marriage. Seems a bit unnecessary and by doing so for me it would feel like losing me and a part of my family

[TheGayTent]

Of course it is. But that doesn't mean putting the guests before the couple, which is what I meant.

[rachbon]

You mean losing your family name that was taken from the male side. I see

We toyed with creating a new surname altogether so we take neither and become something new. Should have done it really but just couldn't find anything\be arsed in the timeframe then the kids came along

[rachbon]

.... double barrel your surname....

Like I said rach, ape boy and op are rebels without a real cause...

My wife has her maiden surname as a middle name now...

[rachbon]

Maybe because its just another bunch of women telling another bunch what they should be doing ?

[kaosmark2]

Like I said rach, ape boy and op are rebels without a real cause...

[rachbon]

Anything you have put forward as being sexist can already be removed. So you are very clearly a rebel without a cause...

[rachbon]

I am saying you are a rebel without a cause...

[russycarps]

I am saying you are a rebel without a cause...

[kaosmark2]

Everything they have put forward has around been sorted out. Don't get married if you don't want to... and if you do you can do it pretty much anyway you want!!

Very much rebels without causes...

Edited January 14, 2014 by kaosmark2

[fred quimby]

You could have combined your surnames to create a new name. Although depending on your names that doesn't always work.

[kaosmark2]

Stop being a prat all your life...

[rachbon]

[fred quimby]

A mixed race person can become president of the US, does that mean there is no longer racism in America?

[rachbon]

Yeah because I spoke out against equality...

[rachbon]

Association argument... Its hampers any sort of progress to be frank. Its the typical shit I hear all the time. I wouldn't expect you to understand. your to busy "raging"...

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

So will you be going along with certain traditions just to please (or avoid offending) others?

[rachbon]

It sounds like you have a good balance, and the revolving hand sounds interesting!

[fred quimby]

wouldn't dream of saying things like 'obey' etc.

[eFestivals]

Think people are getting a bit stupid.

IMO any wedding planning is a balance between what the couple want, and what the families and guests would want/be comfortable with.

It depends if the day is about showing off to family & guests, or if it's about getting married.

Marriage does not require any of the bullshit that's attached to it as standard.