singles thread

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

i sympathise - and recognise the feeling. I've been lucky that I've always found a hobby or an interest that I can obsess over until the feeling goes away.

I have thought about a hobby myself as a way to get involved in something that would be fulfilling. I've even looked up hobby lists on the net to see if anything took my fancy and nothing did really. I think I may re-look at those lists though as I now feel that I wouldn't mind doing some art work and maybe photography. There's a creative side of me which I actually do know is not being fulfilled. Guess I've just got to stop procrastinating even though it's one of the few things I excel at!

[feral chile]

I have thought about a hobby myself as a way to get involved in something that would be fulfilling. I've even looked up hobby lists on the net to see if anything took my fancy and nothing did really. I think I may re-look at those lists though as I now feel that I wouldn't mind doing some art work and maybe photography. There's a creative side of me which I actually do know is not being fulfilled. Guess I've just got to stop procrastinating even though it's one of the few things I excel at!

i think that would be a really good idea. If you can find something that has a group that meets locally, all the better - the social side's really important for maintaining your enthusiasm.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

i think that would be a really good idea. If you can find something that has a group that meets locally, all the better - the social side's really important for maintaining your enthusiasm.

I've actually joined a social group. It's a group called Spice. You may know of it. I always thought it was for people with personality disorders and no mates. And guess what - some of them do fall into that category. Quite upsetting when you're cornered by one! This week I have booked up to go on 5 of their events. Should be an experience.

[feral chile]

I've actually joined a social group. It's a group called Spice. You may know of it. I always thought it was for people with personality disorders and no mates. And guess what - some of them do fall into that category. Quite upsetting when you're cornered by one! This week I have booked up to go on 5 of their events. Should be an experience.

I hadn't heard of it. If it's as varied as the website makes out, should be fun.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I hadn't heard of it. If it's as varied as the website makes out, should be fun.

It is that varied. I've only been to a few events so far but hope to expand this. Even today I booked a Lebanese dinner shuffle with them. The idea is that we all meet up at a Lebenese restaurant and sit down next to strangers for the first course, then shift places for the second and then the third course. That way you get to meet a lot of new people. It's a big step for someone whose a bit shy like myself. But hey ho, nothing ventured nothing gained. At least I'll have tried Lebanese food which sounds quite interesting.

[feral chile]

It is that varied. I've only been to a few events so far but hope to expand this. Even today I booked a Lebanese dinner shuffle with them. The idea is that we all meet up at a Lebenese restaurant and sit down next to strangers for the first course, then shift places for the second and then the third course. That way you get to meet a lot of new people. It's a big step for someone whose a bit shy like myself. But hey ho, nothing ventured nothing gained. At least I'll have tried Lebanese food which sounds quite interesting.

I always think of myself as shy, though other people tend to be surprised by this admission, so I must manage to hide it well. The more you practise, the better you get though.

Edited July 26, 2012 by feral chile

[worm]

While I can sympathise with this sentiment, it's difficult just being when you're feeling restless and your mind's telling you you're in a state of want but unsure what it is you want.

Sartre's lack without an object.

Tell me about it. My ex has run off with my cousin and has been keeping in touch telling me about how much she is lacking intimacy and depth.

I just want peace of mind.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Tell me about it. My ex has run off with my cousin and has been keeping in touch telling me about how much she is lacking intimacy and depth.

I just want peace of mind.

I'm no expert (as is obvious) but wouldn't severing communication with your ex eventually allow you that piece of mind? Can't see how you'll get it while she f*cks with your mind like that.

[Purple Monkey]

All women are this:

ALL the womens.

It's science.

Edited July 27, 2012 by Purple Monkey

[jump]

^my last 2 girlfriends banned the word "love" altogether, I would agree if it was "it's been over 10mins since you last rang/text/emailed me".

[feral chile]

All women are this:

ALL the womens.

It's science.

Young women. I think you get a bit less idealistic and insecure and a bit more confident and cynical as you get older.

The other one is 'what are you thinking?'

he's a man - he's probably waiting blankly for the next sexual fantasy to flit into his mind.

[LondonTom]

he's a man - he's probably waiting blankly for the next sexual fantasy to flit into his mind.

or dreams of his football team doing well

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Young women. I think you get a bit less idealistic and insecure and a bit more confident and cynical as you get older.

The other one is 'what are you thinking?'

he's a man - he's probably waiting blankly for the next sexual fantasy to flit into his mind.

Oh, the what are you thinking one is a complete horror. Women don't seem to understand that us men can just sit there, lie there or whatever without thinking a single thing! All that's happened is we've just powered down to the point where an amoeba is thinking more than we are. The problem is that there's no telling your girlfriend that because you'll just get off her " You can't be thinking nothing, nobody can think nothing, therefore you must be thinking something, why wont you tell me what you were thinking" etc etc. So what do you do? You lie of course. You come up with some half witted response like " I was thinking I might paint the back door sometime". You know this is a lie but more importantly your girlfriend also knows it's a lie. Don't ask me how, but she will know. And so now she knows you've lied to her and everything in the house isn't rosy. There's just no winning. Even my last psycho girlfriend kept asking me this one and generally she wasn't interested in anything but herself! Lord knows why anybody would want to know what's going on in my mind!

[AcademicPistol]

There is nothing wrong with thinking about sex a lot it's the way most animals are eat, sleep and reproduce.

Another funny thing is on average when women are physically in their prime to bare children their sex drive is normally at its lowest (I believe the average age range for this 20-24)

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

There is nothing wrong with thinking about sex a lot it's the way most animals are eat, sleep and reproduce.

But there's much more to life than sex. Although I do think about it it isn't as all time consumming as some womens magazines would have us believe. Then again, maybe that's just me.

[jump]

But there's much more to life than sex. Although I do think about it it isn't as all time consumming as some womens magazines would have us believe. Then again, maybe that's just me.

Like foreplay and cuddling afterwards?

[The Nal]

Like foreplay and cuddling afterwards?

Foreplay after? Ouch!

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Like foreplay and cuddling afterwards?

I get your point. Maybe I should see the doctor about the issue. Thoughts on this gentlemen?

[AcademicPistol]

I get your point. Maybe I should see the doctor about the issue. Thoughts on this gentlemen?

Thoughts on foreplay? It beats horseplay

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Thoughts on foreplay? It beats horseplay

This is true. If I remember rightly!

[feral chile]

But there's much more to life than sex. Although I do think about it it isn't as all time consumming as some womens magazines would have us believe. Then again, maybe that's just me.

joking aside, it must be difficult if you're a man and a woman fancies you and you don't fancy her. 'Because all men are always up for it, right? So what's wrong with you then, are you gay?'

I was moaning earlier about men not seeing women as people, but it works the other way too.

Edited July 27, 2012 by feral chile

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I was moaning earlier about men not seeing women as people, but it works the other way too.

Not trying to sound all PC and that but the majority of blokes I know would treat women as a person. Wouldn't the majority of blokes think the same? Maybe it's because I hang out with people who have a lot of 'love' in them in the old fashioned hippy kind of way. Maybe it's because half of them are gay. I don't know, but your statement surprises me if that's the way women feel.

[feral chile]

Not trying to sound all PC and that but the majority of blokes I know would treat women as a person. Wouldn't the majority of blokes think the same? Maybe it's because I hang out with people who have a lot of 'love' in them in the old fashioned hippy kind of way. Maybe it's because half of them are gay. I don't know, but your statement surprises me if that's the way women feel.

Well I am Welsh. You still get a lot of Tom Jones' here. Men still behave in a laddish sort of way, especially the older ones.

I probably notice it more because I lost a lot of weight a few years back, and there was a huge difference in attitude to me, both from males and females.

Being big makes you an honorary bloke, I think. So they think nothing of you joining in with them. But when you're thin, they're interpreting your interaction in a potentially sexual way. It changes everything.

Edited July 27, 2012 by feral chile

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Well I am Welsh. You still get a lot of Tom Jones' here. Men still behave in a laddish sort of way, especially the older ones.

I probably notice it more because I lost a lot of weight a few years back, and there was a huge difference in attitude to me, both from males and females.

Being big makes you an honorary bloke, I think. So they think nothing of you joining in with them. But when you're thin, they're interpreting your interaction in a potentially sexual way. It changes everything.

I was camping with friends recently on Shell Island. While there a female friend declared that she wasn't generally allowed an opinion because she had a pair of these - to which she grabbed her own breasts. It was said jokingly at the time but now you've got me thinking that maybe she feels that way generally. I'll have to ask her. It may explain why she's into S & M and shoving her fist up blokes arses!

I understand the thing you are saying about the interaction being perceived as sexual. I'm guilty of that myself at times. But not all the time. Isn't everybody? I've been to bed with all my female friends so for both parties 'it' is over and done with, so now we can just enjoy each others company without there being frisson.

[feral chile]

I was camping with friends recently on Shell Island. While there a female friend declared that she wasn't generally allowed an opinion because she had a pair of these - to which she grabbed her own breasts. It was said jokingly at the time but now you've got me thinking that maybe she feels that way generally. I'll have to ask her. It may explain why she's into S & M and shoving her fist up blokes arses!

I understand the thing you are saying about the interaction being perceived as sexual. I'm guilty of that myself at times. But not all the time. Isn't everybody? I've been to bed with all my female friends so for both parties 'it' is over and done with, so now we can just enjoy each others company without there being frisson.

I think for me, because I've got to know guys before losing weight, they've been completely at ease with me, but you can tell they haven't known how to react after the weight loss. They've been more self conscious, there's been a barrier there. It cuts both ways, too, because I start to question my own behaviour, in case they think I'm hitting on them.