How do you deal with being in a new relationship

[glastofun]

Hi everyone,

So, I met someone I really like, and things are going well, but I find it all so stressful! My last relationship lasted 8 years, so I've kinda gotten out of the swing of things. To make matters worse (but conversely better in equal measure) the guy I'm now seeing is moving to the city I live in so there'll be loads of new people he'll meet and I can't help feeling insecure and jealous (i.e. when he's with his new housemates, will he meet someone else who he likes more than me blah blah blah).

So, just wondering, how do you feel when you're just getting involved with someone, and if you have similar thoughts to me, how do you deal with them? There have been times in the past when I've really scared people off with my inane insecurities so I really don't want them to be apparent now to destroy what potential we may have...

[ampersand]

i think i feel the same as you, but you've just got to trust them. and if they are untrustworthy, then they're not worth your time anyway.

i'm sure markeee will be along with his tips in a bit

[RABun]

Think about the following...

Whats the worst that can happen? How likely is it to happen? What would you do if it did happen?

Then let it go.

[Steve P]

Think about the following...

Whats the worst that can happen? How likely is it to happen? What would you do if it did happen?

Then let it go.

[Alcatraz]

Yep just fart in front of him and stop worrying about it

[The Nal]

I wouldn't start off down the jealousy route. Not good. Sounds like your ex was a bit of a dog like that so?!

Give the guy a chance!!

[jump]

1, have your own life so a relationship is not the be all end all and you wont be worrying in your spare time

2, if he has new friends intergrate with them so they are your friends too and trust them both (and it's harder to be a mistress for someone if they know there other half)

3, just keep talking to each casually through text, emails but not constantly

Edited September 9, 2010 by jump

[glastofun]

Nah my ex wasn't a dog, the opposite in fact, I felt very secure with him, and this new guy hasn't given me any reason to doubt him. I'm totally aware that it's some irrational internal thing on my part that I have to resolve, but that self awareness doesn't ease things! I guess I'm feeling particularly bad because this new guy could be so great, I'm extra scared of things going wrong. I think I need help.

Edited September 9, 2010 by glastofun

[glastofun]

1, have your own life so a relationship is that the be all end all and you wont be worrying in your spare time

2, if he has new friends intergrate with them so your friends with them and trust the both(and it's harder to cheat on someone if you know there other half)

3, just keep talking to each casually throuh text, emails but not constantly

[rachbon]

talk to him about it.. ?

even if you have only just started going out, if he really likes you, he should help you with whatever you're going through.

then at least if you are acting a bit odd, he won't think you're a total mentalist, he can at least understand why.

if you talk about it and he doesn't want to know, then it's best to find out early that he's a prune.

[glastofun]

talk to him about it.. ?

even if you have only just started going out, if he really likes you, he should help you with whatever you're going through.

then at least if you are acting a bit odd, he won't think you're a total mentalist, he can at least understand why.

if you talk about it and he doesn't want to know, then it's best to find out early that he's a prune.

[rachbon]

...but don't you think some conversations are best saved until there is a stonger level of commitment?

[glastofun]

what's the worst that can happen? he freaks out? then at least you know if it's not going to work and it's easier to break up before you get serious.

or he totally understands, puts your mind at rest, then you can relax and have fun.

[spwan-of-the-devil]

Keep the crazy in for small doses and let it out to other people

[saratink]

Just realised my post was a bit harsh sounding..

!

Edited September 9, 2010 by south wales sara !

[jump]

Keep the crazy in for small doses and let it out to other people

[spwan-of-the-devil]

That's from scrubs ain't it?

[t8yman]

If you act like a mental he will dump you. And don't overcompensate for being mental by being extra dirty.

[RABun]

If you act like a mental he will dump you. And don't overcompensate for being mental by being extra dirty.

[saratink]

in reply to RABun;

I know where you're coming from. I was a bit mental before with my ex, but i think ive learnt from experience and just gotta learn to control it a bit more. I don't see any harm in voicing concerns, but it is a good idea to be a bit causious

[jump]

Aye it is but it works

[Guest musiclove123]

Nah my ex wasn't a dog, the opposite in fact, I felt very secure with him, and this new guy hasn't given me any reason to doubt him. I'm totally aware that it's some irrational internal thing on my part that I have to resolve, but that self awareness doesn't ease things! I guess I'm feeling particularly bad because this new guy could be so great, I'm extra scared of things going wrong. I think I need help.

[glastofun]

Really?!?! You think the feelings I've described in this thread suggest the need to consider therapy?

[jump]

Really?!?! You think the feelings I've described in this thread suggest the need to consider therapy?

Edited September 10, 2010 by jump

[Guest musiclove123]

Really?!?! You think the feelings I've described in this thread suggest the need to consider therapy?