How can Glasto be improved in 2010?

[Peevis]

Peevis's plan to improve Glastonbury.

More drugs

I thankgyew.

[eFestivals]

while there's some good points raised above, it's hugely unlikely I think that such a big number of major changes would be introduced for the next festival. Each change has to be worked thru from all angles, and then has to be comprehensively documented (for licencing and H&S purposes) - which is an awful lot of work just for one or two changes.

Plus, each change causes an impact elsewhere on the site, meaning that if too many changes are made at one time there's too many new possible problems to be watched for and managed, which of course adds to all the things that the staff have to be trying to keep a handle on for the safe and smooth running of the fest.

What I'm saying is that changes are likely to be a slow-ish evolution rather than an across-site revolution.

[Storm_NL]

while there's some good points raised above, it's hugely unlikely I think that such a big number of major changes would be introduced for the next festival. Each change has to be worked thru from all angles, and then has to be comprehensively documented (for licencing and H&S purposes) - which is an awful lot of work just for one or two changes.

Plus, each change causes an impact elsewhere on the site, meaning that if too many changes are made at one time there's too many new possible problems to be watched for and managed, which of course adds to all the things that the staff have to be trying to keep a handle on for the safe and smooth running of the fest.

What I'm saying is that changes are likely to be a slow-ish evolution rather than an across-site revolution.

[Peache Calhoon]

this might already have been mentioned (so sorry if it has) or it possibly should be in another thread.?

On the main stages it could be an idea to have marker poles, dotted around the field, each with their own individual LED lighting. This would mean people would not have to bring loads of flags preventing the view of the majority.

I understand why people bring flags and i don't think banning them is the answer I'm just thinking of an alternative. Please don't shout at me all flag lovers....

So to find your friends the coversation would go like:

where are you ?

i'm need the green an blue pole.

nice one, will be there in a minuite.

not

where are you?

i'm next to the big skull & crossbones flag, which intern is next to the slightly smaller skull & crossbones flag, which is behind the 4 large england flags and 2 flashing octopus.

etc etc etc you get my point - i will shut up now

[oafc0000]

A lot of people putting a lot of work into writing long posts on here...

Why not send a letter to Worthy Farm... I am sure they will read it and take note...

Like Neil said, things wont change over night but I would be surprised if they weren't interested in hearing from people like us...

[Sam Crawley]

Ban this, ban that. Seriously, what sort of festival do you think we'd have if this school of thought prevailed. The mate who I camped with and I had several discussions on our ideal Stalinist festival whilst at Glastonbury, it kept us amused, and resembled this thread in many ways. Unfortunately we were very much tongue in cheek, and this thread isn't.

[mimis]

Hi thanks for doing that on everyone's behalf, def think it's useful and that they should appreciate it.. is there any chance you could include a bit on the ignoring of smoking-ban or possible inclusion of non-smoke zone?

It's definitely the one thing as a pregnant lady/asthmatic/allergy sufferer that is affecting my decision to return. Been to the past 5 and really don't want it to have to stop us going in future years!! Thanks. x

[eFestivals]

Ban this, ban that. Seriously, what sort of festival do you think we'd have if this school of thought prevailed. The mate who I camped with and I had several discussions on our ideal Stalinist festival whilst at Glastonbury, it kept us amused, and resembled this thread in many ways. Unfortunately we were very much tongue in cheek, and this thread isn't.

perhaps this should be how the festival is run in future....?

The Zen Stalinist Manifesto

Playing golf or being otherwise dull

with malice aforethought

watching TV for more than ten hours a week

discussing soap operas

(or any TV programmes or adverts

in the case of a stand-up comedian on stage)

and becoming obsessed with the work of

Quentin Tarantino

Damien Hirst

or William Burroughs

will become a criminal offence

punishable by five years' enforced participation

in a non-stop mime

juggling

and face painting workshop

in Slough.

The Berlin Wall will be rebuilt -

only five metres higher.

It will keep people out.

People like the World Bank

the International Monetary Fund

the Spice Girls

Price Waterhouse

Goldman Sachs

Jeffrey Archer

William Archer

Peter Mandelson

Helmut Kohl

and Boris Yeltsin.

Peter Lilley and Michael Portillo

will suffer immediate retrospective abortion.

In order to combat the increasing danger

to civilised society

posed by pig-ignorant

misogynistic

right-wing

testosterone-poisoned

road rage specialists

theme gulags will be introduced

for anyone who drives a van with scratches down the side

and shouts at or otherwise intimidates

lone women drivers at roundabouts

or buys shares in industries

which belonged to him in the first place.

These gulags will all be situated on Rockall

and will have three themes:

Saturday night in August on the Costa Del Sol

auction day at the used car emporium on Shoreham seafront

and happy hour in a Harlow theme pub.

All themes will run 24 hours a day

365 days a year

and inmates will be able to nominate their chosen

theme on arrival.

No theme changing will be allowed

but Clash albums

chess sets

and copies of 'The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists'

will be available for rehabilitation purposes.

Tight security will be enforced.

Theme gulags will be surrounded by large, deep moats

filled with soya milk and real ale

guarded by pitbullfrogs

and kept under constant surveillance

by hundreds of high court judges

watching from carefully constructed ivory towers.

Boris Yeltsin will finally be recognised

as the traitor and Judas he is

and made to spend the rest of his days

cleaning out the toilets

at the Glastonbury Festival.

With his tongue.

Every Western government leader

and the entire staff of the United Nations

will be forced to walk naked

through the burnt-out towns

and mass graves

in what used to be the Socialist Federation of Yugoslavia

and then have the words

'Marshall Tito was right'

tattooed on their foreheads.

A Zen Stalinist National Curriculum

will be introduced into schools.

Albanian

- both dialects, Gheg and Tosk -

will become compulsory as a foreign language.

Reading Geoffrey Archer

and supporting Crystal Palace

will become not just highly illegal

but indicative of a disturbed mental state

requiring instant frontal lobotomy.

The Alarm will reform.

All school students will have to attend morning assembly

and sing the new National Anthem:

'68 Guns' by The Alarm.

Mike Peters of The Alarm

will become the new Welsh football manager

with David Icke as his assistant.

The Royal Family

will be allowed to remain as figureheads

but will have to join The Alarm.

Billy Bragg will become next in line to the throne

and rhythm guitarist in The Alarm.

All game show hosts

and everyone who works for the Sun

and the Times Literary Supplement

will be shot.

Their executions will be videoed

an acid house soundtrack will be added

and huge week-long parties

known as 'graves'

will begin.

Ken Livingstone and his pet newt Dennis

will become Prime Minister

and Chancellor of the Exchequer.

All privatised industries will be renationalised

without compensation

and a huge TV and poster campaign will be launched

saying simply

'Tell Sid tough shit.'

The Queen will be privatised

and promoted to lead singer of The Alarm.

The first Zen Stalinist Five Year Plan

will be published

declaring world peace and social surrealism

and the dark nightmare of monetarist madness

will finally come to an end.

For ever.

© Attila The Stockbroker.

(more here)

Edited July 8, 2009 by eFestivals

[russycarps]

Hi thanks for doing that on everyone's behalf, def think it's useful and that they should appreciate it.. is there any chance you could include a bit on the ignoring of smoking-ban or possible inclusion of non-smoke zone?

It's definitely the one thing as a pregnant lady/asthmatic/allergy sufferer that is affecting my decision to return. Been to the past 5 and really don't want it to have to stop us going in future years!! Thanks. x

[Storm_NL]

I would not support this.

Smoking should not be banned anywhere at glastonbury. I would like to see smoking brought back, not restricted further. It is absurd that you can't smoke in the John Peel tent for example.

[Sam Crawley]

Hi thanks for doing that on everyone's behalf, def think it's useful and that they should appreciate it.. is there any chance you could include a bit on the ignoring of smoking-ban or possible inclusion of non-smoke zone?

[maninkilt]

I would not support this.

Smoking should not be banned anywhere at glastonbury. I would like to see smoking brought back, not restricted further. It is absurd that you can't smoke in the John Peel tent for example.

[beadfc]

For me, it would be to get rid of the stupidly long wall up by Gate A. We camped just the other side of it, but had to walk miles around the wall to get to the gate. It's never been there before, so why have it this year?!

[podge52]

Traffic congestion was a pain on the way in. to solve this i'd start glasto on a Tuesday. The main acts would be Thurs,Fri and Saturday leaving Sunday for a more relaxed and chilled out atmosphere. This way there would be 2 days before the main acts start and 2 days after. This would give more time for people to arrive and leave without compromising seeing any acts, The extra costs would be minimal as their would be more or less the same amoubt of acts on. The only extra cost to us the punter would be more time off work if you wanted to do the full six days. So all in all you could still have a full 5 days without missing anything and arrive and leave without the log jams of this year.

[Storm_NL]

Traffic congestion was a pain on the way in. to solve this i'd start glasto on a Tuesday. The main acts would be Thurs,Fri and Saturday leaving Sunday for a more relaxed and chilled out atmosphere. This way there would be 2 days before the main acts start and 2 days after. This would give more time for people to arrive and leave without compromising seeing any acts, The extra costs would be minimal as their would be more or less the same amoubt of acts on. The only extra cost to us the punter would be more time off work if you wanted to do the full six days. So all in all you could still have a full 5 days without missing anything and arrive and leave without the log jams of this year.

[Rufus Gwertigan]

Traffic congestion was a pain on the way in. to solve this i'd start glasto on a Tuesday. The main acts would be Thurs,Fri and Saturday leaving Sunday for a more relaxed and chilled out atmosphere. This way there would be 2 days before the main acts start and 2 days after. This would give more time for people to arrive and leave without compromising seeing any acts, The extra costs would be minimal as their would be more or less the same amoubt of acts on. The only extra cost to us the punter would be more time off work if you wanted to do the full six days. So all in all you could still have a full 5 days without missing anything and arrive and leave without the log jams of this year.

[sven mk 2]

For me, it would be to get rid of the stupidly long wall up by Gate A. We camped just the other side of it, but had to walk miles around the wall to get to the gate. It's never been there before, so why have it this year?!

[Yokel Again]

I'd bring the capacity down to how it was before 07. Other than that, pretty spot on all in all.

(But flags are VERY annoying - can't people just not bring them rather than having to 'ban' anything!)

[mimis]

On the smoking topic...

It isn't the case that all tents are non smoking.. that's the issue. Never once the whole festival was I able to sit in a tent without having to get up after about 15 mins as someone had lit up nearby. I'm not saying there needs to be a festival wide ban - but yes some areas, after all the festival is 1000+ acres and can afford to have some camping/general space set aside for those people who really would appreciate it & it would make all the difference

maninkilt - I see what you mean about it being a choice - hadn't thought about it that way, I don't think that smokers should get special rights, especially when it is so blatently harming other people. I'm not saying don't do it.. but it was so so excessive and people were so selfish.

...some people would probably say that my being pregnant was a choice too I guess - but the asthma and allergies are certainly not as is the same for many other people. For the sake of me being able to attend the festival at all, it seems it is not too much to ask for people to be considerate with their smoking, not smoke in certain areas etc. Smokers do not realise how much it affects other people - YES when outside it is also an issue, it does not just drift upwards at all!! Especially when you are sensitive to it for one reason or another.. I knew when people started smoking 10-20 meters behind me.

Not too sure what to suggest - but think something little could surely be done, a very small smoke free camping or chill out area would help me and I'm sure others no end! x

[paulo999]

On the smoking topic...

It isn't the case that all tents are non smoking..

[HandFedFred]

people who have serious adverse health effects from smoking should just equip themselves with a facemask thing instead of whingeing about it

cmon, its a festival, you know whats gonna happen.

[russycarps]

Why exactly? You choose to smoke it is not a natural or required activity, I choose to garden, I dont expect that a gardening section is set aside at work or recreational activities, I really feel that now and then I have to have sex, I dont think that every one in the John Peel tnet should just get out of my way while I get it on.

Smoking is a chosen behaviour that is forced on the rest of us. Stop thinking that you deserve special treatment

[hombrederayo]

The tents at glastonbury are all non smoking just the same as you cannot smoke anywhere indoors in a public place anymore.

If people choose to ignore that, then they are breaking the law (I think anyway...so dont quote me on that!)

[TomfromStroud]

I really think they need longer platforms/trains on the monorail to reduce congestion. Some of the crushes getting on/off were frankly dangerous, especially after Bruce Springsteen finished.

Either that or take crowd mitigation measures such as issuing people with a simple map showing how it is often quicker to walk from place to place rather than catch the monorail all the time.

[baldrick]

The festival policy is that all tents are non smoking.

Edited July 9, 2009 by baldrick