Films

[worm]

Caught rec yesterday. Balls.

I was very surprised by Mr Brooks though. Kevin Costner eh. Stylish.

[Atlanteanlost]

I was very surprised by Mr Brooks though. Kevin Costner eh. Stylish.

[M a r k]

not really. Its the first bit in the trailer if you're interested

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[Purple Monkey]

I think I've just seen the worst film ever made. I thought I had seen some bad films, until tonight.

There was a film called "Silent Bloodnight" on a channel called "Movies4Men" which usually shows terrible quasi-porn movies, but apparently Silent Bloodnight is meant to be a slasher film.

Definitely the worst film ever. Worse than What Women Want, worse than Indiana Jones And The Indestructable Fridge, worse than Batman & Robin, worse than any given Nicholas Cage film. Worse than Nicholas Cage - that's right I'm putting it out there.

The worst toe-curling acting imaginable, the worst cinematography imaginable (it's like the camera man had never held a piece of limited technology before), the worst editting I have ever seen (I can still remember the shite the Media Students came up with in college - their feeble skills were nowhere near as bad as this). The lighting is non-existent too. It just looks like a shitty home video, editted by what seems to be the directors dog that's somehow managed to log onto the computer and paw the mouse around a bit before accidentally hitting "render".

It's meant to be scary, but it's an Austrian film done in English, which means you get these Austrian actors reading what was probably originally an Austrian script, in English. So the actors don't even know HOW to say the shit they're saying, not just in pronunciation of the words ("available" becomes "awailable" etc) but also in the tone - and I'm not convinced they even know what it is they are saying - it's just totally wierd and awful. They make Arnie look like Marlon Brando.

Usually shitty films like this feature really fit birds wearring very little or nothing at all, making it somehow watchable, and there's sexin the movie, but the girls in this film all look a bit wierd. They look like they've been hit with a shovel or, in the case of one of the girls, look a bit simple and confused, and you can't fantasise about simple people, it's just wierd. I know, I've tried.

It's f*cking diaboloical. It's not even "bad in a good way", like the Mario Brothers film starring Bob Hoskins and featurring Dennis Hopper playing the part of a ten foot evil dinosaur. This is just awful. I used to think the worst excuse for a film-maker was Michael Bay, but he's like a movieland Moses comparred to the fraudulent chancers that were involved with this puddle of piss.

Definitely worst film EVER.

Edited December 4, 2008 by Purple Monkey

[philipsteak]

I just watched Red Dawn for the first time and was gonna nominate that for worst movie ever, but I reckon you win on that one. Or lose. ANd if its an austrian film then the mullets are probably even worse than in Red Dawn too.

[bealster]

I watched changeling last night.....wow.....very emotional movie, and has proven to me Angelina can actually act.

The film is completely different to what I thought it would be, be prepared for a very powerful film.

I took a girl on a 2nd date to see it, halfway through I thought she was getting really uncomfortable, but she really enjoyed it as well.

Result all round!

[Steve P]

I just watched Red Dawn for the first time and was gonna nominate that for worst movie ever, but I reckon you win on that one. Or lose. ANd if its an austrian film then the mullets are probably even worse than in Red Dawn too.

[Katster]

I think I've just seen the worst film ever made. I thought I had seen some bad films, until tonight.

There was a film called "Silent Bloodnight" on a channel called "Movies4Men" which usually shows terrible quasi-porn movies, but apparently Silent Bloodnight is meant to be a slasher film.

Definitely the worst film ever. Worse than What Women Want, worse than Indiana Jones And The Indestructable Fridge, worse than Batman & Robin, worse than any given Nicholas Cage film. Worse than Nicholas Cage - that's right I'm putting it out there.

The worst toe-curling acting imaginable, the worst cinematography imaginable (it's like the camera man had never held a piece of limited technology before), the worst editting I have ever seen (I can still remember the shite the Media Students came up with in college - their feeble skills were nowhere near as bad as this). The lighting is non-existent too. It just looks like a shitty home video, editted by what seems to be the directors dog that's somehow managed to log onto the computer and paw the mouse around a bit before accidentally hitting "render".

It's meant to be scary, but it's an Austrian film done in English, which means you get these Austrian actors reading what was probably originally an Austrian script, in English. So the actors don't even know HOW to say the shit they're saying, not just in pronunciation of the words ("available" becomes "awailable" etc) but also in the tone - and I'm not convinced they even know what it is they are saying - it's just totally wierd and awful. They make Arnie look like Marlon Brando.

Usually shitty films like this feature really fit birds wearring very little or nothing at all, making it somehow watchable, and there's sexin the movie, but the girls in this film all look a bit wierd. They look like they've been hit with a shovel or, in the case of one of the girls, look a bit simple and confused, and you can't fantasise about simple people, it's just wierd. I know, I've tried.

It's f*cking diaboloical. It's not even "bad in a good way", like the Mario Brothers film starring Bob Hoskins and featurring Dennis Hopper playing the part of a ten foot evil dinosaur. This is just awful. I used to think the worst excuse for a film-maker was Michael Bay, but he's like a movieland Moses comparred to the fraudulent chancers that were involved with this puddle of piss.

Definitely worst film EVER.

[ralph250]

Anyway, by Austrian I presume you mean German? There's no such language as Austrian is there??

[sifi]

nah, per se. They speak german but german's pluricentric so austrians just have their "standard version"; austrian-german.

[Mellowfella]

Stephen King novel, yes? Is it the same ending?

Stephen King stealing from James Herbert again. Some things don't change. The fog - great book.

[nightcrawler13]

the ending of the movie is more horrible then the book

[dakyras]

I haven't read the king Novella but knowing Darabonts love for King stuff, I doubt he would change it.

[Mellowfella]

In King's novel,

the central characters make it out alive

. The film's ending is different. Just a bit

[philipsteak]

If you want some good Aussie mullets then watch The Castle. Brilliantly funny film with some of the best haircuts ever to be committed to celuloid

[M a r k]

watched Lakeview Terrace on Friday, run of the mill thriller saved only by Samuel L Jackson.

and last night.... went to a free screening of Danny Boyles new flick Slumdog Millionaire - very good. about a call centre teaboy in India (played by the funny Asian kid from Skins) who gets to the second last question on who wants to be a millionaire before being arrested for cheating. he then talks the police through how he knew his answers up to that point before the story picks up again from "now" as it were.

funny, sometimes sad and sometimes sweet, if slightly cheesey in parts. recommended watch though.

[Katster]

The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas

I really want to read the book now.

[Greeny_Musicchild]

The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas

I really want to read the book now.

[Katster]

Even more depressing than the film...my 12 year old sister saw the film and still won't stop going on about the ending...

[metallimuse]

Watched 'History of Violence' yesterday and thought it was pants.Really boring.You knew he was the guy the gangsters said he was,he goes and kills them.No real plot what so ever.

Just watched 'American Gangster',really good.Enjoyed it alot.

Going to watch 'Lucky Number Sleven' in a mo,seen it before and thought it was good but can't really remember it so recorded it off Film4 last night.

[Katster]

I also watched Felon the other night, pretty brutal but an ok film. Soppy ending.

[M a r k]

Watched 'History of Violence' yesterday and thought it was pants.Really boring.You knew he was the guy the gangsters said he was,he goes and kills them.No real plot what so ever.

Just watched 'American Gangster',really good.Enjoyed it alot.

Going to watch 'Lucky Number Sleven' in a mo,seen it before and thought it was good but can't really remember it so recorded it off Film4 last night.

[metallimuse]

spoiler?

i haven't seen it, so didn't know and don't know.

[Katster]

Sorry, but it is like two years old if not more.Wasn't it the first film Viggo did after 'Lord of the Rings'?

[M a r k]

Transporter 3 - comical as usual and i didn't pay too much attention.

Good things -

BMX chase, good fun.