singles thread

[brighteyes]

Girls with dimples. Always hot?

[harderfaster]

Girls with dimples. Always hot?

yeah. had a hot waitress the other day. couldn't pinpoint what it was about her... then i realised it was the dimples!

[markeee]

You need to stop over analysing everything. Sometimes people just forget to txt back, it happens. Good luck with the date.

Yea I know I do, it's like I can't just not over think EVERYTHING in every single aspect of life

I'm better than I used to be at least ..still not ideal , I find a lot of things play on my mind which leads me to worry/overthink..it annoys me that I do it!

[Purple Monkey]

Yea I know I do, it's like I can't just not over think EVERYTHING in every single aspect of life

I'm better than I used to be at least ..still not ideal , I find a lot of things play on my mind which leads me to worry/overthink..it annoys me that I do it!

I think it's a cultural thing. As guys we are bombarded with the do's and don'ts about what women want in all the different social contexts. Theres endless magazines and websites and books telling us to give her flowers at two o clock on a Tuesday in June but don't feed her before midnight on a full moon that same night if she is menstruating. Or something. We are left dazed and confused by the deluge of bullshit. No wonder some guys just bottle it all up and then end up getting into pissed up fights on a Friday....

Edited August 10, 2011 by Purple Monkey

[Katster]

Girls with dimples. Always hot?

Depends. Arse dimples arent too hot.

I am so glad to be out of all that shit. If it didn't work out with me and mine, I couldn't be arsed with it all again. Strangely enough I met him when I stopped looking, which I know sounds like cheesy balls but it is true.

[feral chile]

I think it's a cultural thing. As guys we are bombarded with the do's and don'ts about what women want in all the different social contexts. Theres endless magazines and websites and books telling us to give her flowers at two o clock on a Tuesday in June but don't feed her before midnight on a full moon that same night if she is menstruating. Or something. We are left dazed and confused by the deluge of bullshit. No wonder some guys just bottle it all up and then end up getting into pissed up fights on a Friday....

It's the same the other way though. A friend of mine was chatting to a guy, they sent messages back and forth, met up, got on really well then nothing. No reply to her texts. Not even a goodbye text, after he had been replying immediately to them 'before'.

Why do men do this? Why can't they at least be civil?

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

It's the same the other way though. A friend of mine was chatting to a guy, they sent messages back and forth, met up, got on really well then nothing. No reply to her texts. Not even a goodbye text, after he had been replying immediately to them 'before'.

Why do men do this? Why can't they at least be civil?

He was possibly already going out with someone or even married. I've seen one of my own friends do this and actually felt it was a bit disconcerting that he didn't respond to her texts ( 'after') if even to 'let her down gently' if that were at all possible.

[feral chile]

He was possibly already going out with someone or even married. I've seen one of my own friends do this and actually felt it was a bit disconcerting that he didn't respond to her texts ( 'after') if even to 'let her down gently' if that were at all possible.

It makes it really difficult to comfort her, too, because you have no idea what to say. Just about all my single friends have had something similar happen to them. And I know it's to do with men running away from awkward situations, and negative emotions, but it's so damaging to the female. It kind of invalidates them as a person, in their mind, at least.

So play nice. :angry:

[jump]

It's not men, it's shitty people.

She was probably more into him than he was into her and was too blinded by it to realise he wasn't enjoying himself.

Edited August 10, 2011 by jump

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

It makes it really difficult to comfort her, too, because you have no idea what to say. Just about all my single friends have had something similar happen to them. And I know it's to do with men running away from awkward situations, and negative emotions, but it's so damaging to the female. It kind of invalidates them as a person, in their mind, at least.

So play nice. :angry:

I wonder if it works both ways? I can't think of a single example of it, but that's not to say it doesn't happen.

I understand and agree with your sentiments about playing nice. Unfortunately I've not always followed those guidelines but have grown up since and learned to regret my actions.

[Katster]

I wonder if it works both ways? I can't think of a single example of it, but that's not to say it doesn't happen.

I understand and agree with your sentiments about playing nice. Unfortunately I've not always followed those guidelines but have grown up since and learned to regret my actions.

I can give you an example. Myself. When my head was up my arse and I didn't know what I wanted, I messed with guys along the way. Never intentionally, and like you I grew up and learned, but that still probably doesnt make it better for them!!

What can I say though, my head was up my arse after a volatile relationship with a man, so was he to blame or me?

Again, I am glad to be away from all that shit. I wouldn't do it all again now if I found myself in a single position. It's hard though when you think you like someone and they like you back, to not get involved when you know deep down you aren't ready.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

I can give you an example. Myself. When my head was up my arse and I didn't know what I wanted, I messed with guys along the way. Never intentionally, and like you I grew up and learned, but that still probably doesnt make it better for them!!

What can I say though, my head was up my arse after a volatile relationship with a man, so was he to blame or me?

Again, I am glad to be away from all that shit. I wouldn't do it all again now if I found myself in a single position. It's hard though when you think you like someone and they like you back, to not get involved when you know deep down you aren't ready.

I know what you mean. My 'growing up' and guilt will not make it better for those I have hurt. Just wish I had been as wise earlier in life. I've been single for 6 years now. The thing is that I wouldn't go out with me, so how on earth can I expect someone else to! I agree with you though - I don't want to and would not commit nowadays unless I knew I was ready as it's not fair to the other person.

[feral chile]

I know what you mean. My 'growing up' and guilt will not make it better for those I have hurt. Just wish I had been as wise earlier in life. I've been single for 6 years now. The thing is that I wouldn't go out with me, so how on earth can I expect someone else to! I agree with you though - I don't want to and would not commit nowadays unless I knew I was ready as it's not fair to the other person.

it's not the not seeing them again that's the issue, it's the total ignoring them that gets me.

Would it hurt just to say 'I had a good time but I'm not looking for anything permanent, so I won't be seeing you again. Nice to meet you though'

??

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

it's not the not seeing them again that's the issue, it's the total ignoring them that gets me.

Would it hurt just to say 'I had a good time but I'm not looking for anything permanent, so I won't be seeing you again. Nice to meet you though'

??

It wouldn't hurt at all and would be the honourable thing to do. In fact it would be the natural thing to do. I've never done that so can't offer any explanations. It does seem a bit twisted to me.

[markeee]

well I went out with her wednesday had a good time, and saw her again thursday just went to the cinema ..watched horrible bosses..way better than I expected, really enjoyed it..quite like Charlie Day (it's always sunny in philadelphia)

she told me how she has a date with some other guy on Sunday as she'd already been on 1 date with him before I asked her, :| said she really wanted me to ask but I hadn't and then she didn't see me for days and he happened to ask

She didn't see me for ages as I had time off for glasto!! then I had to take my time asking her out, due to all these dos and donts..dont ask to soon, seems too keen/desperate bla bla

she's a nice girl though, i guess time will tell

Edited August 12, 2011 by markeee

[Purple Monkey]

It's the same the other way though. A friend of mine was chatting to a guy, they sent messages back and forth, met up, got on really well then nothing. No reply to her texts. Not even a goodbye text, after he had been replying immediately to them 'before'.

Why do men do this? Why can't they at least be civil?

Girls do that too. It's just people being assholes.

Meeting someone on your wavelength is by it's very nature a lottery. You just have to keep playing.

[markeee]

This girl's a real nice one..she went all the way to my house yesterday to check I'd locked my door..got to work and couldn't remember ..;/

going to be hard work though, we work for the same company but different departments..I work nights in trading and she works nights week on week off in a diff department , she's working from Monday -> Sunday so I'll only see her at work really..then on her week off I only have two days off

Not sure what to do next time we go out, not that much to do besides cinema/drink the latter being my choice normally

maybe go to London go to the ice bar with her..always wanna go but never actually have :|

Only problem is like an idiot I find myself less interested once I knew how she'd wanted me to ask her out and how much she likes me? A guy I know who knows her said same thing 'she was telling me how much she likes you bla bla and wanted you to ask her out, but didn't think you were going to as she didn't see you for ages' yes I wasn't here that's why!!

not sure why it makes me less interested or care less..like I only like the chase or something..wtf is that about!?!

[jump]

This girl's a real nice one..she went all the way to my house yesterday to check I'd locked my door..got to work and couldn't remember ..;/

going to be hard work though, we work for the same company but different departments..I work nights in trading and she works nights week on week off in a diff department , she's working from Monday -> Sunday so I'll only see her at work really..then on her week off I only have two days off

Not sure what to do next time we go out, not that much to do besides cinema/drink the latter being my choice normally

maybe go to London go to the ice bar with her..always wanna go but never actually have :|

Only problem is like an idiot I find myself less interested once I knew how she'd wanted me to ask her out and how much she likes me? A guy I know who knows her said same thing 'she was telling me how much she likes you bla bla and wanted you to ask her out, but didn't think you were going to as she didn't see you for ages' yes I wasn't here that's why!!

not sure why it makes me less interested or care less..like I only like the chase or something..wtf is that about!?!

The Ice Bar is shit, you can only go in there for 40 mins.

[markeee]

The Ice Bar is shit, you can only go in there for 40 mins.

oh, i guessed you couldn't stay in there all day ha

not even worth checking out ? Something to do/ a bit diff like?

[jump]

oh, i guessed you couldn't stay in there all day ha

not even worth checking out ? Something to do/ a bit diff like?

Imo I wouldn't even bother, it's £20(?) for a ticket to spend 40mins in there and then they kick you out.

Erm a bit different in London... the science museum does adult nights on the last Wednesday of every month, you could try one of the party boats on the Thames, a shisha bar, a gallery/museum, try a weird restaurant I know one where they serve crocodile by Warren Street, there's the Torture Garden which is the biggest fetish club in Europe (worth going just to laugh at people wearing masks whilst being whipped whith chains), be apart of the crowd for a Never Mind The Buzzcocks/Big Brother etc taping, and then just think of places like legit rockabilly/swing/jazz etc clubs.

Edited August 17, 2011 by jump

[markeee]

Imo I wouldn't even bother, it's £20(?) for a ticket to spend 40mins in there and then they kick you out.

Erm a bit different in London... the science museum does adult nights on the last Wednesday of every month, you could try one of the party boats on the Thames, a shisha bar, a gallery/museum, try a weird restaurant I know one where they serve crocodile by Warren Street, there's the Torture Garden which is the biggest fetish club in Europe (worth going just to laugh at people wearing masks whilst being whipped whith chains), be apart of the crowd for a Never Mind The Buzzcocks/Big Brother etc taping, and then just think of places like legit rockabilly/swing/jazz etc clubs.

LOL I like the 'just to laugh at people wearing masks while being whipped with chains' hahaha

literally kick you out..yea that sounds a bit rubbish to be honest

I guess there's always Fabric..depending on the night

what else is there in London now?

Gurnmills gone, The End gone, matter gone? , Ministry of sound's still at elephant and castle i guess - although i thought it was pretentious when i went, and fabric - ?!

[jump]

LOL I like the 'just to laugh at people wearing masks while being whipped with chains' hahaha

literally kick you out..yea that sounds a bit rubbish to be honest

I guess there's always Fabric..depending on the night

what else is there in London now?

Gurnmills gone, The End gone, matter gone? , Ministry of sound's still at elephant and castle i guess - although i thought it was pretentious when i went, and fabric - ?!

Fabric still going but I personally wouldn't take a girl I'm getting to know to a big club as everytime I go to Fabric I lose my mates and can't hear a word they're saying and that's not the best environment for early dating.

[markeee]

Fabric still going but I personally wouldn't take a girl I'm getting to know to a big club as everytime I go to Fabric I lose my mates and can't hear a word they're saying and that's not the best environment for early dating.

yea i know what you mean was just thinking if i go to london wanna go somewhere decent, not been to fabric for years now!

[Katster]

it's not the not seeing them again that's the issue, it's the total ignoring them that gets me.

Would it hurt just to say 'I had a good time but I'm not looking for anything permanent, so I won't be seeing you again. Nice to meet you though'

??

No, but it isn't really that simple. Have you ever tried telling someone thanks but no thanks? I've never had anyone accept it in a nice way, they've always forced me to be a bit of a bitch about it. Which sucks as I feel shitty enough hurting someones feelings...

[jump]

No, but it isn't really that simple. Have you ever tried telling someone thanks but no thanks? I've never had anyone accept it in a nice way, they've always forced me to be a bit of a bitch about it. Which sucks as I feel shitty enough hurting someones feelings...

To be honest being a bitch about it is often the best way, it makes a clean cut and lets them be angry which I always find is a much quicker route to move on unlike let's be friends/I don't want a relationship right now blah blah as it just drags it out or gives them false hope. Edited March 4, 2014 by jump