Toilet tips

[so_wot]

I love Glastonbury and just being there. The toilets are the worst bit for me. Some seem to enjoy them !!! But each to their own I suppose. What are your top toilet tips, perfect poo pointers etc etc

Mine depends on being like me ie someone who wakes up early regardless of when I went to bed and what state I'm in. Drinking water before I go to bed helps. I try to make myself get up and go to the toilets for a poo. Sometimes I go for a walk to get it going. It's a great time to see things in a different light. The toilets are also usually quieter, cleaner and cooler. Then of course I go back to my pit, feeling lighter and smug in the knowledge that I will not have to face it when they are at their rankest or risk missing something.

I've been advised to wear boots/wellies as you don't know what you're stepping in and to try not too eat too much red meat. Not necessarily practical.

[hotwaterbottle]

every year at glastonbury there is a daily "who has pooed yet?" conversation in my friend group.

Stone circle compost toilets are great?

I dont know what else to say, I'm too shy.

[guypjfreak]

masks old son and some scented spray works a treat .

[Spindles]

I find morning coffee helps.

I'm just in the process of quitting smoking (been 2 1/2 weeks) so my morning routine of ciggie, coffee, ciggie, poo has been shot to pieces

[so_wot]

A mask sounds a good idea. Have a papery face mask but a gas mask could be interesting. Practical, yet stylish in a fetishistic sort of way.

As for being regular, I find an early morning amble round the site as everyone else snores, grunts and farts away is both another way to enjoy the Glastonbury experience and a natural way to get things going. Risks scaring the gf when I come back of course but as we're going for separate tents this year it will not be a problem.

Edited June 8, 2011 by so_wot

[Spindles]

Same, but there was a time I used to sing along to the beautiful south about a small detail that impacted on my experience.

You know your problem? you keep it all in.

[so_wot]

Jesus, they're only turds ... stick to the long drops, not only for the fact that the turds are 6 feet away, but the openness allows fresh air to circulate. I honestly have no problem doin the bizzle ...

[piggypop]

Long drops for me!

If you find the smell of glasto loos unbearable, you can always stick some vics vapour-rub up your nostrils first!

[ark]

Stone circle compost toilets are great?

[so_wot]

Long drops for me!

If you find the smell of glasto loos unbearable, you can always stick some vics vapour-rub up your nostrils first!

[lilyallenatemyhamster]

My tip is - go to a long drop, have a poo & wipe your @rse then leave. Simple as that.

[4AssedMonkey]

I don't have any issues with the toilets. The smell of a hot turdis turns my stomach a bit but the long/high drops are fine.

That said, my better half (who would never camp at a festival in a million years), having seen what they look like did say "so people just walk past and they can hear you pooing? How do you even unclench?" Stagefright - a strange beast.

I am however the sort of person who would shush a crowd of strangers, rip off a 10 second fart and then expect appreciation and applause.

[hotwaterbottle]

Are they open 24 hrs a day?

[rubenz]

Dont eat about 10 hot dogs like I did one year meaning I had to visit the loos about 8 times one evening including a particularly traumatic trip to the african ones near the stone circle in pitch black conditions

Also try to go in after a fragrant looking girl and not a big smelly looking bastard!

[Liam13th]

Toilet Tips? I'm struggling to find the euphemism.

[Spindles]

Perhaps a toilet tip could be the top of a pyramid of poo as seen in turdises in years gone by?

[coma girl]

At fear of being sexist, I always try and go in after a girl as they tend to have cleaned it for themselves and left it clean for the next person.

[fogboy1]

You are better off in a turdis if you want to do a line of coke, trust me this one

On all other occasions long drops are better, obviously excluding the flushers on Big Ground.

[tinktink]

I have just bought dissposible seat covers from Ebay, I used them in America they were Fab

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/32-Disposable-Toilet-Seat-Covers-Use-toilet-paper-/300564046846?pt=UK_HealthBeauty_Other_RL&hash=item45fb0363fe

[clockworkpurple]

At fear of being sexist, I always try and go in after a girl as they tend to have cleaned it for themselves and left it clean for the next person.

[Dorgon]

I carry a roll of TP and hand sanitizer with me, as well as some nice mints. Pop a mint in your mouth if it the smell is too bad, and you get a nice minty-poo smell. Also, there's banks of individual porta-loos near John Peel (if my memory serves) that seem to go under-used and over-cleaned. I liked them very much.

[grumpyhack]

Always carry enough bog roll with you as you never know when the need may come upon you.

A trip up to Flushing Meadows may be worth it if you're shy/desperate/need to spend a bit of time sitting waiting for things to get going.

Other than that, antibacterial gel to make sure you can clean your hands afterwards.

[cole4ord]

Just dont do what i did one year. Went into long drops to do a number 2 forgetting i had a 50g pouch of rolling tobacco in my back pocket. Hence when the trouser were pulled down the tabacco dissapeared into the long drops!

[cejx]

Remember. Wrist band on the opposite hand to you're wiping hand! Take an s hook, so you can hang you bag over the door rather than dropping it in piss!

[Lilmiz]

I would definately say long drops are the way to go, freeflowing air so you don't get overwhelmed by the fumes, i cannot say i am really bothered by the toilets but do tend to stick to long drops and make a mental note of the ones with locks.

My other half hates anything but flushing loos and urinals (he emerged from a long drop in 2008 looking like he had been through the most horrifying experience!) but that could be a male/female thing, us girlies have to sit all of the time (unless you're brave enough to use a Shepee), so have to stay calm and carry on so to say!

Always keep a small packet of tissues with me and hand sanitiser is a must and carry a small torch around at night so you can check out the seat to avoid squatting incidents.