Hints and tips

[OneLittleFish]

Radiohead: Not playing.

Edited March 16, 2010 by OneLittleFish

[Tugger2k]

Indie Kids - win friends and influence people when your favourite new band announce a new album release in may by immediately starting the 5th thread of the day entitled 'will they play?'

*royalties to sifi for copyright of style infringement

[sifi]

*royalties to sifi for copyright of style infringement

[OneLittleFish]

People sitting on other peoples shoulders - Most people DID go to see your backside rather than the band, you're right! For added effect, lift your shirt up every time the camera comes near in the vague hope that more people will see you on the big screen, or more so than that, let everyone see your ugly face and indulge your self-obsession and egomaniacal tendencies by actually facing the wrong way!

[Block of Mud]

take some hand sanitiser

an umbrella (small one) - cos you will need to shelter more than just your head at times

some plastic bags and bin bags - you use them for everything

loads of drugs for you and your mates

extra lighters, fags etc

vaseline - my lips never get try but at glasto ... they do, dnt ask why :s

a camera

baby wipes

[Block of Mud]

People sitting on other peoples shoulders - Most people DID go to see your backside rather than the band, you're right! For added effect, lift your shirt up every time the camera comes near in the vague hope that more people will see you on the big screen, or more so than that, let everyone see your ugly face and indulge your self-obsession and egomaniacal tendencies by actually facing the wrong way!

[OneLittleFish]

Stop being such a boring f**k, it's not like they're going to sit there all night

[Chazeboy]

Amorous Couple : Don't look so upset of confused when the group next to you, who had to put up with your outragous sex noises all night, stand up and clap when you finally make it out of your passion pit the next morning.

Edited March 16, 2010 by Chazeboy

[ivan]

Never pay for a drink at the Cider Bus !

Take a sip

"Too Dry ! "

then the next

Too Sweet

After

Too much tannins

Tatse's of Pears

Its starting to turn

Its a bit too cold

You should be pretty well full up for a bit !

[Langdale Wolf]

iPhone Users: Show off your superior status in life by offering the festival goers standing right behind you the Glastonbury equivalent of opera glasses. That's right - everyone loves to see the show through the enhanced medium of an iPhone screen. And you KNOW your footage will piss all over the BBC's you've recorded for when you return home.

Edited March 16, 2010 by Langdale Wolf

[Tugger2k]

Incontinent's - ensure you dont miss a second of your favourite act and enhance other festy goers enjoyment of the gig by simply pissing down their leg during the song in the set you cant stand

Edited March 16, 2010 by Tugger2k

[ivan]

Take you i pod !

Then when an act such as U2 ia on you can say you where there , but have ZZ Top on your

i pod and can sing "Gimme all your lovinn ! " to yourself !

[Langdale Wolf]

Another one for iPhone Users: Forget the official festival programme, Guardian Guide or efestivals rumours list and download the 'mike99' app, where you input a question using the inbuilt 'Qwerty' keyboard, only to have the very same question sent right back to you mere seconds later.

[ivan]

Go to Glastonbury for free !

Get back the cost of your ticket !

Trip and Slip up at the Stone Cirlce , claim it was uneven , see a solicitor , sue Glastonbury Festival

and they will settle early on at £180.00

[ukslim]

Back to this travel tissues idea.

Nah.

Grab as many sheets as you need for the day off a normal loo roll, and put them in a ziplock bag.

Tissues designed for noses don't have the necessary, um, purchase to do a decent job of cleaning up arses.

[Langdale Wolf]

'Hilarious' People: Don't forget to shout 'bollocks' every five minutes at any time of day or night to add to the 'crazy atmosphere' of Glastonbury. Equally 'hilarious' people will join in, and retort with a similarly witty reply of 'bollocks'. It really is a festival highlight for EVERYONE.

[Steve P]

Hair washers: Please make sure you spend ages washing your hair in the sinks by the bogs every morning. Those of us that are hung over to buggery really appreciate waiting to get a drop of water back into our systems. In fact make sure you lather, rinse, repeat. Always repeat.

[Langdale Wolf]

Neighbourhood Watch: Just so boundaries are clearly marked out, remember to bring corrogated iron railings to fence off your property from your neighbours. After all, practically every tent looks EXACTLY like every other tent, so a bit of individualism is most welcome. Padlocks of differing colours fastened over the doorway also help distinguish your belongings from the rabble camped next to you who had the audacity to offer a warm can of lager as a meagre 'peace offering'.

[swede]

loads of drugs, drugs are ace !!!

[Runner]

Hair washers: Please make sure you spend ages washing your hair in the sinks by the bogs every morning. Those of us that are hung over to buggery really appreciate waiting to get a drop of water back into our systems. In fact make sure you lather, rinse, repeat. Always repeat.

[ivan]

How to make yourself a favourite with the opposite sex

Beforehand make up your own VIP wristbands and ACCESS ALL AREA'S laminates

[drewsstrat]

Spare Laces/ Gaffer tape

Multiple of uses -

(1) If your a shortarse and the trap door doesn't lock on the long drops and there is no way for you to keep the door shut with one foot, then simply tie and tape the door shut and sing at the same time.

(2) Gaffer tape is also useful for the 'hillarious people' or 'bollox' people when you can least do with it (ie 7am) firmly apply to all oral regions once daily until cured.

[Filthy]

Always losing your tent? Simply turn left at every blue tent you come to once leaving your camping area. You can then retrace your steps by turning around and turning right at every blue tent*

*May not work in dark

[drewsstrat]

How to make yourself a favourite with the opposite sex

Beforehand make up your own VIP wristbands and ACCESS ALL AREA'S laminates

[Steve P]

I HAVE to wash my hair every day ... so always make a point of telling folk they can share the sink etc.. and do most of my washing / brushing away from the sink so others behind can use it as much as possible.

I know its a pain in the arse, and I have tried taking collapsible buckets etc to do it at the tent, but it just doesn't work!

I have crazy hair, I can't help it but I always think of those in the queue and make a point of getting up and doing it as early as I (possibly!!!) can ...

walks off, hanging head, with rather large hair, in shame ....

Peace x