Getting over losing someone close

[Steve P]

I found out this morning that one of my closest friends may have died. He was on holiday in Turkey, went out swimming and got caught up in a current and hasn't yet been found. He went missing at 2pm yesterday. I'm just coming to the realisation he's probably gone but how the hell does anyone get over the feeling that's just eating me up right now. I've been lucky in that i've made it to 33 and never lost anyone close before and I really don't know what to do with myself.

[llcoolphil]

I found out this morning that one of my closest friends may have died. He was on holiday in Turkey, went out swimming and got caught up in a current and hasn't yet been found. He went missing at 2pm yesterday. I'm just coming to the realisation he's probably gone but how the hell does anyone get over the feeling that's just eating me up right now. I've been lucky in that i've made it to 33 and never lost anyone close before and I really don't know what to do with myself.

[Goblinz]

I really feel for you mate. I've lost two close mates over the last year and another a few years ago so have an idea of how it feels. The truth is that it that it doesn;t get away, you won;t get over it, but you will learn how to cope with it as time goes by untill a point where you're just talking about the good times rather than dwelling on what's happened... That's my experience anyway.

Try to cope the best you can and not lt it get the better of you. I made this mistake, gave in and now am more than likely going to loose my job over the fact that I didn;t keep life ticking over durin my grief

It's going to take a while, but you'll get there. One thing that helped me was going through old photos with friends so we could stick them in an album for his parents. I found chatting to his parents was a lot of help too..... They knew him in a different way to us and we knew him in a different way to them.

Try not to be alone too, keep yourself busy. i found that the times I was sat alone was the times my mind would start to wonder and all the regrets came to surface.

[Katster]

In which ever way you can

[Langdale Wolf]

Really sorry to hear that Steve.

Not sure what else to say except that I agree with Phil's post.

[oafc0000]

Sorry to hear that as well...

[Peevis]

Consider the alternative of never knowing who he was, or even him not being worth missing.. And try to be grateful for having known him.

[Katster]

Consider the alternative of never knowing who he was, or even him not being worth missing.. And try to be grateful for having known him.

[rabid]

My mother does volunteer work with these people. Might be worth contacting if you find it's too much for you.

[Steve P]

Thanks everyone. Yeah there's no way i'll ever, or would ever want to, forget him. He one of the nicest, funniest people you could ever wish to meet. It just feels like there a giant hole left where he used to be, going to take a long long time before i feel normal again.

[ralph250]

Really sorry to hear that Steve. Hope which ever way you find for dealing with it, works for you. As Phil says, it's all subjective really. Take it easy bud.

[Peevis]

Thanks everyone. Yeah there's no way i'll ever, or would ever want to, forget him. He one of the nicest, funniest people you could ever wish to meet. It just feels like there a giant hole left where he used to be, going to take a long long time before i feel normal again.

[Tugger2k]

im sorry to hear about that mate

having lost a couple of very close friends all i can say is that i've never really got over it, just learnt to cope with it

keep your chin up mate and just try to stay as positive as possible, not easy i know.

i realise its a cliché but time truly is a great healer

[Lauz_Abbott]

sorry to hear that

[worm]

i realise its a cliché but time truly is a great healer

[Rufus Gwertigan]

I found out this morning that one of my closest friends may have died. He was on holiday in Turkey, went out swimming and got caught up in a current and hasn't yet been found. He went missing at 2pm yesterday. I'm just coming to the realisation he's probably gone but how the hell does anyone get over the feeling that's just eating me up right now. I've been lucky in that i've made it to 33 and never lost anyone close before and I really don't know what to do with myself.

[Glitter+Vodka]

I'm so sorry to hear this

As others have said, everyone is different, and people deal with grief in different ways, but only you will know what is right for you.

Try to cope the best you can and not lt it get the better of you. I made this mistake, gave in and now am more than likely going to loose my job over the fact that I didn;t keep life ticking over durin my grief

[Paul ™]

Hope you are ok mate....

Had a couple of very close friends die over the years, most recent was 2 years ago and it hit me pretty hard.

Keep your friends close to you

[the_frame]

very sad news, I am incredibly lucky in that I havent yet lost anyone close, and I'm 38. Its obviously coming eventually.

from my experience with others who have been through heavy grieving, and pardon the hideous cliche - time is the healer.

It will pass.

edited to add

and pardon my repeating of the cliche already referred to as a cliche by tugger.

Edited October 17, 2009 by the_frame

[Steve P]

All cliche's are appreciated. We know he's died now so just trying to get through things as best I can. Just seems so unfair that anyone should be taken away like this so young. Thanks for all the kind words.

[Wooderson]

V sorry to hear this Steve.

[Shinny]

I found out this morning that one of my closest friends may have died. He was on holiday in Turkey, went out swimming and got caught up in a current and hasn't yet been found. He went missing at 2pm yesterday. I'm just coming to the realisation he's probably gone but how the hell does anyone get over the feeling that's just eating me up right now. I've been lucky in that i've made it to 33 and never lost anyone close before and I really don't know what to do with myself.

Edited October 18, 2009 by Shinny

[Katster]

Hope you are doing ok

[Steve P]

Hope you are doing ok

[Steve P]

Well they've found his body, which is a good thing (although it doesn't feel like it at the mo).