Housemate nightmare

[lifelessfool]

You guys are usually pretty useful for this sort of stuff. Basically we adopted a housemate from my friends halls last year as we felt abit sorry for him, he is a social reclusive and a little bit weird, but we though perhaps we should ask him to live with us as no one else had done so. Anywhooo he was pretty good for paying bills for abit and then he stopped and I kept pesting him for the money and he said he would give it me back when his loan came in, the day came and no money was given. And now he has moved out (without telling anyone) owing me 300 pounds. That puts me in a bit of a bad position, is there anyway I can get this money back? Or shall I consider it a bad experience and just learn from my losses? I try to get in contact with him and fail, my landlady gave me his parents home number but it seems he gave a wrong number or something.

[worm]

My last flat mate did a runner owing a grand and my recent lodger still owes me £600. I'm confident that I'll ge the latter eventually because he's still in touch and socially connected. The former is a dead loss as I think he's in prison now anyway. If he doesn't want to pay, isn't socially connected and you have no contract then you're f**ked. It's that simple Chief.

[Greeny_Musicchild]

Bad luck. Obviously do your upmost to chase him down. If he's at the same uni as you you're always going to be able to find him. If you don't get the money back don't feel too bad, these things happen.

[Sparticus]

If his name is on the contract of the property, then his parents will be guarantors, you could try and get the money back that way, better than nothing.

Fact is though, money f**ks things up through people's selfish nature. If the guarantor bit falls through then chalk it up as experience and be glad it was only £300.

Can count on one hand the people i'd help out if they were in dire straits, unfortunately though i've learnt that the wrong way.

Editted to add that whilst I imagine the majority will disagree with me here, since you mentioned he's a social recluse, a bit weird etc, if all other channels fail put the frighteners on him, he most likely wont be able to hack knowing there's people out there wanting to give him a kicking and will cough up the cash for peace of mind. I should stress i'm not condoning or promoting violence, but at the end of it it's this weird lad who has created this situation, so can't feel any form of sympathy.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Sparticus

[worm]

I should stress i'm not condoning or promoting violence

[markeee]

I've had these problems before, 2nd year at uni , me and a mate and 2 girls, one of the girls moved in midway through term, and well just never seemed to pay rent, hadn't paid any rent up to the day I moved out, end of 2nd year, and never saw her again -

as Sparticus said, when money's involved it can make things difficult at times,can strain friendships/ruin them completely. People avoiding paying..excuses etc, leaving you out of pocket and annoyed, you endup having to chase for money you're rightly owed, feeling like you're nagging/hassling them--despite the fact they should just have paid their fair share on time ..the whole thing can be awkward

In my first year I worked part time in Yates's, a mate of mine said she couldn't pay her rent bla bla, so I lent her 250, promises to pay it tomorrow, next week..etc, then starts turning up to work late, eventually not turning up at all - still had contact with her, saw her a month after she left work , got the same old rubbish..and then she dissapeared..apparently moved out of the area, nice that she was still going out up town whilst owing me money eh!!

I don't lend any money now, don't care if someone cant afford to go out etc, not my problem - been messed about too many times after lending people money they 'desperately need' only to see them still going out twice a week but not paying me back,..

I've had this before too from a girl I was mates with 'Oh well you earn more than me so I don't see why I should pay it back' --- seriously? Whatever I earn has nothing to do with her , I could have bills galore/massive mortgage etc - and it's my money I earnt and lent her..but people do begrudge paying money back to friends, especially if they earn less money than the friend they borrowed from

[gratedenini]

People/Relationships/Money --its a tryst that very rarely works eh.

You dont say if he just pissed off as in disappeared or it was something which you could see was coming.

Either way--- as been mentioned--put it down to experience.

I never forget being told when I was 18... "Never trust anyone Den!"

I`m 53 now--- and its still hasn`t sunk in. Yer either that way inclined or not, thinking the best of people and leaving yourself open for any consequences--or yer a twat (or seemingly a twat by others).

Money--honestly--I f**king hate it. Need it of course--but it is the cause of so much heartache/anguish/anger.

One way to look at your situation is this... if he wasn`t staying there..you`d still be paying whatever the rent was yeah? So for the time he did pay.. your part of the rent was lower?

So, at least you had a period when you were paying less!

Write it off.. what comes round goes round. If you see him out round town, just simply douse him with some sort of flammable fluid and set fire to the c**t.... dont hit him or anything as suggested by someone.

den

[Sparticus]

I should clarify what I meant by "putting the frighteners" on someone since it seems to have been over exagerated. Never, at any point, did I indicate that assault is the answer (It's not). I was speaking more along the lines of intimidation, few mind games and that, not laying hands on someone.

[markeee]

People/Relationships/Money --its a tryst that very rarely works eh.

You dont say if he just pissed off as in disappeared or it was something which you could see was coming.

Either way--- as been mentioned--put it down to experience.

I never forget being told when I was 18... "Never trust anyone Den!"

I`m 53 now--- and its still hasn`t sunk in. Yer either that way inclined or not, thinking the best of people and leaving yourself open for any consequences--or yer a twat (or seemingly a twat by others).

Money--honestly--I f**king hate it. Need it of course--but it is the cause of so much heartache/anguish/anger.

One way to look at your situation is this... if he wasn`t staying there..you`d still be paying whatever the rent was yeah? So for the time he did pay.. your part of the rent was lower?

So, at least you had a period when you were paying less!

Write it off.. what comes round goes round. If you see him out round town, just simply douse him with some sort of flammable fluid and set fire to the c**t.... dont hit him or anything as suggested by someone.

den

Edited March 28, 2011 by markeee

[worm]

it's hard to not trust people, they promise the world, they beg and plead, promise on their babies eyes to pay in a week etc...they desperately need the money, promising to pay you back quick etc - then when it comes to it excuses come up etc, instead of paying you back they use the money to go out and soend mon themselves..

[llcoolphil]

I should clarify what I meant by "putting the frighteners" on someone since it seems to have been over exagerated. Never, at any point, did I indicate that assault is the answer (It's not). I was speaking more along the lines of intimidation, few mind games and that, not laying hands on someone.

[gratedenini]

I should clarify what I meant by "putting the frighteners" on someone since it seems to have been over exagerated. Never, at any point, did I indicate that assault is the answer (It's not). I was speaking more along the lines of intimidation, few mind games and that, not laying hands on someone.

[markeee]

Perchance your chastisement may not have been so harsh had you suggested a punishment along the same lines as mine ie a burning

So, you have "changed" then? Its understandable... but I cannot /dont want to . I`d still give me last bat out of the cave to anybody who needed it.

I very much remember circa `85. Up till then--I suppose I was quite materialistic re my "prize" possesions as in camera and guitars. Would never be comfy lending them out in case they came back marked etc.

But, I went to a Billy Graham rally and ended up giving my life to Jesus** --met some really lovely people and eventually realised that possesions are only "borrowed". Since then I haven`t thought twice about offering to let people use any stuff I might have.

den

** He (jesus) in the interim period has in fact returned my life for me to f**k up again

[rexclark]

It's similar to paying for drinks, I don't tend to buy many rounds for big groups or pay for taxis and expect money/a drink in return, too many times I've bought a round for my mate and his mates, 2 girls and a guy last time, only to not get a drink in return or any money -- not the money aspect either, the fact it was never offered! People take advantage when they can!!

[Ed209]

Not sure if i've changed totally, just more weary or reluctant, had it too many times mate, lend money, then they carry on going out but say they cant pay me my money as they have none , or the girl who said I earn more than her she doesnt think she needs to pay me back..absolute rubbish, I earn more , so? That's because I do a different job to her, and different hours and not like I should cover any shortfall she has with money

I lent a girl I know 60 quid last year, as usual she promised to pay it back, but then when I next saw her just laughed it off

I'd lend money to a few select people with no worry, work mates/family as said before..for example I'm using my mates stan james account atm and it's got just over 300 in , been betting using his ac, half for me/half for him - but I have no worries he'll take it all, goo mate of mine and I live with him

It's similar to paying for drinks, I don't tend to buy many rounds for big groups or pay for taxis and expect money/a drink in return, too many times I've bought a round for my mate and his mates, 2 girls and a guy last time, only to not get a drink in return or any money -- not the money aspect either, the fact it was never offered! People take advantage when they can!!

[llcoolphil]

It sounds to me as though these people you're lending money to aren't actually your mates. In which case you're asking for trouble.

I'll lend my mates a bit if they need it, however its usually the other way round and my mates will shout me a bit of cash. Its just a given that we'll pay each other back when we can, and if someone forgets a gentle reminder is all that's needed and its sorted straight-away. Is this not how the rest of the world works?

If you even question whether you might have trouble getting the money back then they're not a mate and you don't lend it to them.

[saratink]

I don't buy people rounds in pubs. I'm not earning so I only like to buy my own drinks. It's nice when people buy some drinks as long as its not expected that everyone buys some. I only go into rounds with someone if we've arranged the 'ill get this you get the next and shell get the one after' if I haven't agreed to rounds then ill take it as a gift and its the buyers loss if that's what they were hoping for.

[rabid]

I don't tend to get into buying rounds for simplicity. Saves me having to write it down or making repeated trips to the bar to get the drinks I forgot or correct mistakes.

[lifelessfool]

Well, he made a brief appearance today, he gave me a tenner as a good will gesture (after much hassling) and has promised to give me my money back after loan day. I don't know what else I could have done really, just moaned at him for abit, and then he left. As for rounds I don't really mind buying rounds but I can't carry more than 2 drinks so its always abit pointless.

[rexclark]

Very rarely will we get into buying rounds, we all drink different things and drink at different rates but I'll never forget years ago my one mate had a habit of taking drinks (whatever he fancied) then when it was his round he'd decide everyone fancied the cheap option, which was normally a very watery Margarita.

[markeee]

Very rarely will we get into buying rounds, we all drink different things and drink at different rates but I'll never forget years ago my one mate had a habit of taking drinks (whatever he fancied) then when it was his round he'd decide everyone fancied the cheap option, which was normally a very watery Margarita.