Glasto 09 Honesty Thread

[LostRiot]

I have no idea how people so blatantly miss the frigging hole either, I saw shit all over the walls in some of the longdrops & portaloos ! f**king disgusting !!

[hope]

Probably stood in front of shorter people

[meatyparson]

I think the missed shitting is people leaning against the walls while shitting. and its pretty horrible, but the worst thing I saw this year was the remnants of what I can only assume was someone wiping their ass with their hand and cleaning it on the door. It was worse because if I see a poo on the side I don't use the toilet, but this I only noticed mid business. A sobering site for sure.

[G1T]

I didn't drop a single bit of litter, even took all my cigarette ends with me til in found the next bin. But i was pretty tired and grumpy by the end, having worked long days there for a week, so when i went to the pussy parlour and some women dressed as cleaners tried to dust me with feather dusters, i was perhaps a little ruder to them than they deserved.

If you're out there ladies, sorry! I'd really not slept much for days and had been walking miles every day...

[dtox]

Two things, I think.

1. I *think* I left an almost-empty can of cider on the ground after Nick Clegg in the Speakers' Tent. I put it down to walk to the mike to ask a question and then sat a few feet away and didn't even remember till half an hour later. For that I apologise to whoever had to pick it up.

2. We woke up someone up at 5:30 am on Monday morning while packing up to leave. Though the fact that he proceeded to swear makes me feel much less guilty about it.

Edited June 30, 2009 by dtox

[MrMac]

I was given £3.50 too much change at the Brothers Bar and didn't own up to it.

[Sam Crawley]

I can proudly say that I dropped no litter. That's what the bins are for.

[SunshineSky]

One of my neighbours pinched my pee-bottle from outside my tent on the saturday (it was in a used black rat container with no label) and told me about realising it was pee after the first sip *euw*, strangely he wasn't mad at me, though that coulda been cuz he pinched it in the first place, well sorry any way... (in his defence my pee did actually smell of cider lol, then again it was all i was drinking for about a week)

[Man drew]

I 'b'orrowed a massive container of Brown Sauce from a breakfast bar that gave my mate the poo-poos

[zero000]

I pissed on my mates tent twice over the duration of the weekend.

[TokiDoki]

I pissed a couple of times near the tent, dropped a couple of cups while in the crowd and used a camping chair while watching some bands.

I also didn't religiously wash my hands after having a piss, not that many blokes do!

[HuggyHare]

I also told a very amazing yet probably bad taste joke relating to Michael Jackson and Madeline McCann on a stage in the Avalon field. I did apologise in advance but not sure it went down very well!

[When Jokers Attack]

I pissed in a few bushes a few times

[mazza]

i have had the plunger out all day been pumping the toilet

it still has not gone around the u bend hands next

[LostRiot]

I'm a sick MF just like you! What was the joke?

If it's too sick for here maybe you can PM it

[TwistedReligion]

Sorry for...

1. Barging through everyone towards the front of Blur during Tender, I always make a point to stay in a crowd once in but this time I really had to get to a loo despite having gone before the set.

2. Going to the loo in a bush next to the toilets in the Shangri La (Once again a cardinal sin since this was possibly the worst place I saw for people peeing away from the toilets, but was ready to spray my shorts!)

Despite bathing in wet wipes the whole time I think I picked up a bug

I think I need to go now

[mrwadders]

Something I've been wondering,

So the no pissing is because it 'gets into the water table and pollutes the streams'.

Now obviously people shouldn't go around pissing everywhere I'm not excusing it, its just not nice and on the walls of urinals is a bit stupid really, but there is something about this water table thing that always bugs me, so I've done a bit of research.

Normally there are 366 cows (I think I read that somewhere) on the site, an average cow pisses 16kg/d so I'm going to approximate 16L of piss comes out of every cow every day. So that's 5856L/d for all the cows

Now, humans, bit more tricky, because a lot of beer/cider is drunk at Glasto. But anyway.

150,000 people, say its 500ml a piss. They have to do 11712 pisses to equal the cows that's about 1 person in 10 (150000/11712) doing a piss to equal the cow's volume.

That's still quite a lot a lot of pissing, and given that beer piss contains very little ammonia which is what causes all the problems and cows piss contains lots of ammonia I think the impact of human piss would be much less. Also there is the time afterwards when the cows would normally be out in the fields pissing away, but aren't.

I'm not saying we should all go piss everywhere, just that the festival isn't going to be cancelled any time soon, and if it is it won't be about the pissing. I think its just something the Mendip district council made up in the mid nineties to try to end glasto.

[mattchu]

Lots of people ranting about things that annoyed them at glasto this year,

But everyone does stuff that other people hate, so I thought we could just get it all out in the open.

So, I'll go first, (only small excuses)

My name is LostRiot and at Glastonbury 2009...

• I pissed in a bush at the side of the stone circe (I was really desperate and I think if I'd run to the toilets it would have probably ended up on the ground anyway)

• I cordoned off our camp to try to stop people setting up a tent in the middle, but it was a bit antisocial.

• I dropped a can of beer in the crowd at the other stage and a cup at neil young.

Ok, who's next (I feel much better btw)

[TheSeventhOne]

Things I regret;

Dropping litter. But in my defense I was usually in a spot waiting for a band I liked.

Not exploring enough. It was my first Glastonbury.

Not being overly social, something that's definitely changing next year.

Not getting any action. Maybe I should drink more next year.

[Magma]

Accidentally burnt a guy with a joint in the Dizzee Rascal crowd. Although I apologised by donating the rest of the joint to him and his mates who had had their stash taken by security on the way in.

Sat in chairs to the left of the Pyramid, around Sound Stage sort of distance watching Tinariwen. Sorry if we got in your way.

Entirely accidentally clipped a small child (3 or 4 years old, I guess) with my welly walking through a crowd. He was fine, no tears even, but it was one of the biggest shocks/frights of the weekend!

[redmosquito]

Gave birth to something incredibly unhealthy looking in a toilet!

Was that near the Tipi Fields, I went for a piss in there and there was a monster of a turd floating around, without a word of a lie it must have been a foot long and got wider as it approached one end I have no idea how the person that made it could walk after. It looked a bit like that monster that attacked Luke Skywalker in the rubbish store in Star Wars.

My confession is that I pissed at the edge of the stone circle, left a couple of empty cans, loads of roaches and a bag of rubbish that we intended to drop off at the bins but in our tired haste to get to the car in the mamouth downpour on Monday morning we completelhy forgot it.

[ambientcoast]

Sunday afternoon, watching the pyramid stage... we'd parked our pull-along truck in a spot right under a tree and almost against the trunk, mainly so we wouldn't get tons of people pushing past and bumping into the kiddos. The Mrs was on a rug on the ground, the kiddos were in their camping chairs, and I was perched with an ice cold can of Becks Vier on a breezeblock size/shaped lump of concrete that was directly between the truck and the tree. I went off to use the toilets and in the space of the 4 minutes it took for me to get back to our tree, some woman had sat in my spot - and she was rudely wedged right behind our truck.

So, because it always sounds a bit twatty when you say to someone that they've taken your seat and you want them to shift (moreso when your seat is nothing more than a lump of concrete in the middle of a field, and which doesn't even belong to you in the first place), I did the only other decent thing I could think of, and stood right infront of her with my arse aimed directly at her left nostril... and let rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip. Approximately 4 seconds later she was gone and I had my breezeblock back.

And for that, I'm truly very sorry.

[lofichic]

I was really well behaved and even picked up other people's rubbish. I did:

- Sit in a chair and I'm not ashamed! First year ever and I'm a convert. Always at the back, never in people's way.

- Slink through the crowd for Blur, instead of wait all day but...

I would have waited, if my incredibly good behaviour hadn't been rewarded with the flu! I started getting ill on Saturday, slept all day Sunday preparing to see Blur, and I've had to come home to my parents' to get looked after, I'm so poorly. It also took me nearly 17 hours to get on site. f**k karma.

[lofichic]

> several camping chairs (karma)

> unopened bottle of peach schnappes and apple sours left in a wheelbarrow (passed out Australian man included).

> a whole 7 foot gazebo (took 5 of us to move at 4am)

> a West Ham United flag from a stall at 4am on the Monday

> a 'Freshly Ground Coffee' A-board sign from a stall that refused to serve us (took 3 men to carry).

> a British Army overcoat what was priced at £40, but I slipped it in the £1 rack and got away with it.

should I feel guilty?

repent my sins.

[Topless Skateboarding Nun]

i repeatedly emptied our stinky piss bottle on the tent behind ours....it was small revenge for the near 24/7 nos (nitrus) throng they were having...bastads kept waking me every 5 minutes

Sunday afternoon, watching the pyramid stage... we'd parked our pull-along truck in a spot right under a tree and almost against the trunk, mainly so we wouldn't get tons of people pushing past and bumping into the kiddos. The Mrs was on a rug on the ground, the kiddos were in their camping chairs, and I was perched with an ice cold can of Becks Vier on a breezeblock size/shaped lump of concrete that was directly between the truck and the tree. I went off to use the toilets and in the space of the 4 minutes it took for me to get back to our tree, some woman had sat in my spot - and she was rudely wedged right behind our truck.

So, because it always sounds a bit twatty when you say to someone that they've taken your seat and you want them to shift (moreso when your seat is nothing more than a lump of concrete in the middle of a field, and which doesn't even belong to you in the first place), I did the only other decent thing I could think of, and stood right infront of her with my arse aimed directly at her left nostril... and let rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrip. Approximately 4 seconds later she was gone and I had my breezeblock back.

And for that, I'm truly very sorry.