Young,Dumb and Living off Mum BBC3

[RABun]

Probably try to buy them off with a decent desert or something

[oafc0000]

Does it wind anyone else up that Oaf thinks he has all the answers? If only life was as easy as he thinks its going to be.

By the way the tantrum will be about not being allowed pudding when they haven't eaten their dinner.

[RABun]

Please tell me you realised I was joking with that comment ? Please...

[oafc0000]

Yes i did and on the first draft i did say i knew it was tongue in cheek, its just the whole over confidence in your abilities as a parent that gets on my wick!

Edited August 25, 2010 by oafc0000

[RABun]

I was 16 - i only have one child.

I'm the first to admit i got a lot of shit wrong.

[oafc0000]

I was 16 - i only have one child.

I'm the first to admit i got a lot of shit wrong.

Edited August 25, 2010 by oafc0000

[RABun]

No i'm not surprised at all, but i am also not ignorant of what it is like to bring a child up at a later age than i was. As my nieces and nephews and friends children all have older parents than i was. They still don't have all the answers.

I don't disagree with you entirely on some of your parenting philosophy, its just the absolute confidence that your kids will be brought up so expertly that annoys me a bit.

But i think thats just the way you are on these boards, immovable in your ideas and beliefs on any subject.

[oafc0000]

immovable in your ideas and beliefs on any subject.

[philipsteak]

TAS?

[oafc0000]

I don't disagree with you entirely on some of your parenting philosophy, its just the absolute confidence that your kids will be brought up so expertly that annoys me a bit.

[RABun]

I didnt accept you should have more confidence at 30 i said i wasn't surprised that you did. Not because you are 30 but because it is you.

Also i said i don't entirely disagree with some of your philosophy, mostly i do

you don't always annoy me

[oafc0000]

I didnt accept you should have more confidence at 30 i said i wasn't surprised that you did. Not because you are 30 but because it is you.

Also i said i don't entirely disagree with some of your philosophy, mostly i do

you don't always annoy me

[oafc0000]

Speaking of young and dumb....

http://www.bbc.co.uk...health-11072853

And one in 10 of 15-24 year olds with an STI became infected again within a year.

Edited August 25, 2010 by oafc0000

[Pogues Mcgogues]

I hope you're joking

[jump]

Errrr.....yes?

[gratedenini]

I was joking (last night) ---but not now in daylight.

YDaLoM & TAS ---- look good on your CV Jabbsworth. Goo-on,show a prospective employer you have a sense of humour but not a common one.

den

[feral chile]

It was an honest answer..

Do you think kids should get an option if they go to school and such like ?

[feral chile]

I don't see how anyone can be confident of something they've never done before, and where there's an infinite number of options of how to do it.

I predict a lot of unnecessary battles ahead for you.. .all this structure, discipline, etc. If you want your kid to be ready for life, then get them prepared for the un expected. Nothing is certain...

although for me, forcing a kid to do most things, is an almost certain path to misery and confrontation...

that's a certainty

most of the real benefits from playing music, could get smashed to smithereens if a kid is forced to do it

I'm not saying some encouragement wouldn't go amiss, but that's different

[oafc0000]

I had this problem with my very shy child. Of course I didn't allow him to stay off school, if that's what you mean by control. But I explained why he had to go, both the academic/vocational reasons and the social ones. He needed to understand why he had to be there. Otherwise, there was a real risk that he'd bunk off and maybe put himself in an unsafe situation.

If you want them truly onside, you need to be able to give them reason to listen. There'll come a time when they realise you can't control what they do. You could physically take them into school, and they could still walk straight out again as soon as your back's turned. If they don't acquire self discipline, they'll find a hundred ways to defy you if they feel like. And a controlling parental technique is pretty much guaranteed to elicit a rebellious response sooner or later.

[feral chile]

So of you guys make me laugh Jump on one word and blow it up out of all proportion ignoring everything else I have said

Edited August 25, 2010 by feral chile

[oafc0000]

I stand by the point that controlling your child is required from time to time... A child does not know what is good or bad for them until you show them. Sometimes that is making them sit down and do their work with you stood behind them.

The point was made last night that someone was forced to do music and they now thank their parents for them.

As a parent my job isn't just about being their best friend. At times my kid will no doubt hate me... I hated my parents from time to time... I understand now what they where doing and I thank them for it.

I think too many parents want to be "friends" with their kids... That isn't your role...

Edited August 25, 2010 by oafc0000

[oafc0000]

I want my kid to respect me, look up to me, appreciate me, love me...

Thats being a dad, not a friend... Go shake your head...

[feral chile]

I want my kid to respect me, look up to me, appreciate me, love me...

Thats being a dad, not a friend... Go shake your head...

[oafc0000]

They'll do all of these as long as you do the same to them.

I can't impress on you enough how important it is to talk to your children, and not at them. And above all, to listen.

If you try to enforce discipline externally, they won't understand the necessity. They'll only be doing it because you said so. So in your absence they'll do their own thing.

If you've explained why you think what you're asking of them is right, they should also see your point of view, and hopefully the sense in what you're saying. So they'll be doing the right thing by choice, and are less likely to defy you when you're not around.

Edited August 25, 2010 by oafc0000

[Pogues Mcgogues]

This chat certainly makes me feel glad I never want to have kids!