Comedy tent

[Fizzy2734]

It's not funny. My great-grandfather died at a concentration camp.

He fell off a watchtower.

[preacherman_1]

im surprised there hasn't been a jew joke yet. around here all people seem to tell is jew jokes.

[pothead pixie]

What do you call a pregnant Kerry woman?

A drug smuggler!

[gordong]

Who are the most decent people in a hospital?

The Ultrasound people

[Fizzy2734]

What cheese doesnt belong to you?

NACHO CHEESE!

[pothead pixie]

Not so much a joke, but famous last words. Writer Brendan Behan on his deathbed, spoke his last wprds to a nun, he said: "May your son be a bishop."

[parkylad]

why do male jews get circumsised?

they know female jews can't resist 10% off

[parkylad]

i got busted for breakin and enterin the other weeek.....she was only 12

[Fizzy2734]

Yo mama so ugly, she look out of the window and got arrested for indecent exposure

[The Disco Deviant]

Why can't a woman get up in the morning and take a piss like a bloke does??

Ever tried pulling a cheese toasty apart??

Edited April 27, 2010 by The Disco Deviant

[Eh Ah Ken]

see now all these jew jokes have started and that wasn't my intention.

rather more annoyingly i know whats probably the wrongest yet funniest jew joke ever.

but i really dont wanna offend.

[mattrik3]

Why did hitler commit suicide?

He saw his gas bill!

[Fizzy2734]

see now all these jew jokes have started and that wasn't my intention.

rather more annoyingly i know whats probably the wrongest yet funniest jew joke ever.

but i really dont wanna offend.

[Fizzy2734]

I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself.

No 'fence.

Nun taken.

[Fizzy2734]

Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers.

[Fizzy2734]

I can't wait for the general election.

I get to go to the local primary school, but this time the police can't touch me.

[Eh Ah Ken]

f**k that!!!!!!!!!!!!! you cant do that................

[Eh Ah Ken]

whats the difference between love, true love and showing off?

spitting, swallowing and gargling.

[pothead pixie]

Heard this one a while back

Whats the difference between a highlander and the Rolling Stones?

The Stones go "Hey you get off my cloud"

Whilst the Highlander bellows "MACLOUD! GET AFF OF THAT YEW!"

Edit: Maybe I will not be so popular at RockNess, a nice wee tree and rope will be waiting for me there, sorry dudes, I couldnae help it, its a stoker of a joke.

Edited April 29, 2010 by pothead pixie

[Kowalski]

Q. What's the difference between Madeliene McCann and the Icelandic volcano??

A. Madeliene only ruined one holiday.

[Fauldhouse]

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

[blackg1000]

What makes nine out of ten people happy?

Gang rape.

[Fizzy2734]

Unlike most the jokes on here mine don't contain racism, domestic violence, incest or paedophilia.

So they tend to get buried.......a bit like Madeleine McCann.

[Fizzy2734]

I went upto a girl in the pub the other day and asked her if she had a light.

"Yes, I have a light." she replied.

"Good." I said. "Turn it on next time you're getting dressed, 'cos you look f**king awful."

[Fizzy2734]

I approached this fat chick in a nightclub and asked her if she had a pen. She was all excited about the fact that she had a man showing her interest and she gave me a smile and said, "Yes I do" as she reached for her handbag. I said, "Well you had better f**king get back in it then hadn't you you f**king ugly pig."