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Craig_G Newbie

Craig_G

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Not close to comparing to the above, but last year, on arriving back at my tent at around 4am Thursday night, I found a naked couple fast asleep. They'd obviously had their fun (and squashed my Pringles and Malt Loaf in the process) before having a lovely spoon.

To make it worse, he walked off in my spare trousers, but did bring them back on Friday morning.

I have a photo to prove it... - My mate was at his first Glasto, and had only been there 5 hours....

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MikeyB37 Newbie

MikeyB37

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http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/6215/romantik.jpg

:rolleyes:

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Busterrr! Newbie

Busterrr!

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I've posted this tale before and somewhere on this board it still exists, but for the benefit of this fantastic thread here it is again. It's the last part that disgusts, but it's not half as fun without the build up.

It was some years ago, possibly around the end of the 90s, when a mate's lodging friend, Pete, decided he was going to come along to his first Glastonbury festival. Ordinarily, during the lead up to the festival we would meet around my mate's house to make plans for the imminent event and Pete, sat behind twin computers writing two different sequences of code on each, would listen to our plans. For years he hinted that he might come along, but not until this particular year did he actually get round it.

Now Pete was always a nervy, active sort of fellow, jumping from thought to thought, leaping from activity to activity. He was the sort of person who found it hard to relax and often would be doing five or six things at once, but rarely finishing any of them. "Pete, for gods sake!" we would shout, "Chill out will you? Settle down, kick back a little!"

So it was with great interest that we watched Pete during that festival, to see how he would deal with the whole event. How would he cope with a weekend of total relaxation? Or the lack of computer or electronically produced visual/audio stimuli. The answer was of course simple, "Drugs!"

On the Friday night, after a frantic day of Pete moving tents to exact positions mapped out in his own head, boiling water for endless cups of coffee, collecting water, collecting wood, introducing himself to the entire field, racing from stage to stage, seeing act upon act, Pete needed to slow down and to help he took an amazing cocktail of drink and drugs in pill or natural form. We watched as Pete chilled out, he settled down, kicked back!

It was early Saturday morning after a night of music, cabaret and mayhem, that we returned to our camp only to notice that Pete was still lying in the same spot, back to the campfire, as he was last night when he finally stopped chopping wood, retightening guy ropes and arranging his tent and belongings.

Realizing he hadn't been with us at all that night we pointed and laughed.

"Pete hasn't moved!" chortled one.

"Ha Ha! Pete! He's still in the exact position he was last night!" croaked another.

"My god! He hasn't moved a muscle since last night" declared a third.

"Amazing! I thought Pete would have to be dead before we ever saw him like that!" laughed the last.

We clutched our sides as we guffawed at Pete's still form, but the laughing died out, each of our expressions changing as a horrible realization presented itself in our chemically slowed brains. We looked at each other,

"Shit!" cried one of our number, as he lurched towards Pete's immobile, seemingly inert body.

"Pete!" we shouted, "Pete!"

The one who moved toward him kicked his leg, nothing. Another shook his shoulder, "Pete!" "Pete!"

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" we all flapped, hands on heads, hearts in throats, stomachs lurching.

"F**k's sake boys!", what's the row for, Pete moaned, eyes closed, still not moving.

"Jeezus Pete! We thought you'd carked it or something", one of us exploded. Relief washed over each us one by one and already breathing hard, the massive expulsions of breath betrayed our unfounded concerns.

He lay there, mumbling, "f**king pills, last night, I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything. I just lay here, mind awake, but body asleep. You lot just f**ked off and left me here, you twats!"

Pete finally rolled up from his position ready to continue the verbal abuse we so rightly deserved for abandoning one of our number, but the annoyed look on his face suddenly dropped away. Something had obviously caught his attention.

"Oh god!", he muttered, "Oh god!". He looked down. "I thought I dreamed that!" he reported somewhat disconsolately has he tentatively prodded his trouser bottoms. Looking up, Pete loudly announced, "I've shit me-self boys! I must have messed myself whilst in that paralysed state last night."

The sniggering started immediately but the laughter lasted all day, all weekend, all year even.

Later on that day, Pete wandering around in just a towel, stepped away from resetting his tent pegs, to inspect his trousers. The sun had baked the contents to a hard brick and with a teaspoon he began to chip away at the perfect arse moulded shape on the inside of his jeans." I'll have this cracked off in about an hour he enthusiastically proclaimed.

Edited by Busterrr!
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ivan Apprentice

ivan

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There was a similar thread last yea.

A girl posted saying she had seen a bloke wandering through the campsite playing with himself and

then havin a release over a tent !

:D

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jamseyboy Newbie

jamseyboy

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After reading this thread the following rules will be applied:

1/All poo,s carried out in the comfort of the Winnebago.( moist loo paper and a fresh smell of roses)

2/Cans of anti bacterial spray to be used on all likely subjects

3/ A long stick carried to prod away all pant wetting,crutch munching,tent shagging,skid making,plop producing,bin humping,canvas spunking deviants that happen to cross my path.

Many years back a worse for wear aquaintence decided to be sick in the middle of a rather tight crowd at one of the smaller stages. Being in gentleman he politely puked into his hands....and then as he had no where to place the said mix of chips and kebab disposed of it the only way he think of.....by eating it!

Nasty :D

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firstglasto Newbie

firstglasto

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Many years back a worse for wear aquaintence decided to be sick in the middle of a rather tight crowd at one of the smaller stages. Being in gentleman he politely puked into his hands....and then as he had no where to place the said mix of chips and kebab disposed of it the only way he think of.....by eating it!

Nasty :D

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xxtinkerbellxx Newbie

xxtinkerbellxx

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none of these sound like horror stories 2 me but i guess i am a v goer. v toilets have turds all over the cieling,walls,sinks. people use the showers as toilets cuz cant be bothered 2 q. ive seen people poo in there hands n wipe it over the portaloo door handles cuz they find it funny watching people grab it after. worst thing ive seen is a woman off her t*ts with servere 'upset stomach' dancing and err making a mess all over the floor at the same time, and then taking off her pants and flinging them in to the crowd :(

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firstglasto Newbie

firstglasto

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none of these sound like horror stories 2 me but i guess i am a v goer. v toilets have turds all over the cieling,walls,sinks. people use the showers as toilets cuz cant be bothered 2 q. ive seen people poo in there hands n wipe it over the portaloo door handles cuz they find it funny watching people grab it after. worst thing ive seen is a woman off her t*ts with servere 'upset stomach' dancing and err making a mess all over the floor at the same time, and then taking off her pants and flinging them in to the crowd :(
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