morons

[MikeyB37]

And if you're MikeyB37 you can be the Glastonbury equivalent of Mary Poppins, and spend aeons filling all the different pockets with essential bits and bobs while the others are waiting to get going to see some band... he he he

[HurrahBrother]

Surely the real morons are the ones who don't ask questions and wind up in a right state at the festival?

* How much beer? Just enough. I say don't bother backing beer, take spirits, buy mixers on site. Brandy and Rum can simply be watered, vodka and whiskey need something else, the yello stalls solve the mixers problem.

* Wellies or Walking boots? That will divide people for years to come

* How much Money? Enough? £15 a day should be enough to feed you very well. chuck in retail therapy and drink estimates as well.

* What clothing? Yes, clothing will be needed. It will be hot, cold, wet and dry. prepare for each.

* Best waterproof jacket? pack-a-mac? for: waterproof, small size. not, sweaty, not fire proof. For me, waxed cotton is best.

* Crocs or not? they look silly, but they are comfy, its like marmite.

* Best Band? the one you missed.

* Favourite wet wipes? any that do teh job.

* Best snacks?

* Best place to eat? stalls away from the main stages try harder to impress.

* Are there showers? Yes

* Can I get my hair washed/straightened anywhere? Or should I invest in gas straighteners? its a festival luv, go with the flow! otherwise, use a bucket and biodegradable soap back at your tent.

[Paul ™]

And if you're MikeyB37 you can be the Glastonbury equivalent of Mary Poppins, and spend aeons filling all the different pockets with essential bits and bobs while the others are waiting to get going to see some band... he he he

[mikeb]

How many morons ? : Not that many generally unless certain moron-related bands are playing and then there might be a few more than usual ... just occasionally some manage to cobble together a post on eFests of course so always worth checking for that

What size of morons? : Usually a very good selection with all the colours in all the sizes available to begin with but quite often it's only the smaller ones left by Friday so if size is an issue for you then you defo need to get in quick or maybe you could try to pre-order from Morons-R-Us or similar.

What do morons drink ? : I'm not totally sure on this one but I think Stella-a-Twat is kinda popular as is White sh*tening or just about any other form of own-label cheap(ish), cr@p(ish) and high(ish) strength alcohol usually from tins. Just so long as it's cheap 'n' nasty mass-produced stuff then you shouldn't really have any problems keeping your moron suitably hydrated.

Hope that answers all your moron-related questions Mr.Port ... although I'm not sure why you thought it really necessitated a special thread all of it's own when you could so easily have checked the FAQs or searched for previous similar threads for yourself or even posted your query on one of the more general threads rather than kinda waste everyone's time by making them read a dedicated thread on the subject

Edited March 15, 2009 by mikeb

[Tim2006]

I've been 9 times (from memory!) but I've still got a thread going, asking everyone's views on where best to camp. I'm always in a Group of around 10 and we've always (without fail) camped in the same place near the Dance Village.

I personally hate it there and want to camp elsewhere this year, but because of the circumstances I have no clue where's best...I'll feel a bit like a newbie myself in that respect.

I'm sure there are things that are going to be new to everyone on here whether you're a brand new newbie or established glastonut. The whole point of this website is for you to contact other Glasto-goers and get the opportunity to found out these things.

Port - you are indeed a meanie!

[Sawdusty surfer]

but what we all really want to know is where is the best place to stash our drugs on the way in and where can we buy

shrooms on site ?

Edited March 15, 2009 by jamesontheverge

[Staberinde]

for the nutters that ask questions like... " how much drink should I take"? " how many pair of socks?" ......"what size tent" ..... " should I take rain gear" .... " how do I carry stuff" ....." what should I eat"

I dont mind newbie questions or genuine questions from people wanting to find out stuff, but if you dont know the answer to these type of questions ,, should you really be allowed out by yourself?

[Spiderden]

Can anybody tell me where Glastonbury is please.....

[Funkfarley]

I've been 9 times (from memory!) but I've still got a thread going, asking everyone's views on where best to camp. I'm always in a Group of around 10 and we've always (without fail) camped in the same place near the Dance Village.

I personally hate it there and want to camp elsewhere this year, but because of the circumstances I have no clue where's best...I'll feel a bit like a newbie myself in that respect.

I'm sure there are things that are going to be new to everyone on here whether you're a brand new newbie or established glastonut. The whole point of this website is for you to contact other Glasto-goers and get the opportunity to found out these things.

Port - you are indeed a meanie!

[mouth]

i'd like to see someone try and do glastonbury for free. Just go in the clothes they are wearing and see what they can get or how long they last before collapsing in a smelly heap

[port]

That's harsh!

You don't mind newbie questions or genuine questions, do you? I think the questions you put at the beginning of your post are just that and I'd sooner read them than a pratt like you calling people that ask newbie questions or genuine questions morons!!

[Funkfarley]

Thanks for all the biters, so easy to wind people up, this is by far the biggest catch I caught all day.

took ages to get my hook back from dvjj's big mouth. I wasn't calling newbies morons if you read my thread properly, I was referring to questions like "what drink should I drink" or " will a 3 man tent do for 5 of us"

[sifi]

There is a really good newbie guide to festivals - and some specifics about Glasto - here on this site somewhere.

The Fine Guide thing we get sent is useful too. That comes with the tickets Newbies / Morons.

[mikeb]

The Fine Guide thing we get sent is useful too. That comes with the tickets

Edited March 16, 2009 by mikeb

[sifi]

The map on that fine guide has still got the Leftfield stage on it!

Edited March 16, 2009 by sifimaster

[stuartbert two hats]

The map on that fine guide has still got the Leftfield stage on it!

[Susie121]

I've been 9 times (from memory!) but I've still got a thread going, asking everyone's views on where best to camp. I'm always in a Group of around 10 and we've always (without fail) camped in the same place near the Dance Village.

I personally hate it there and want to camp elsewhere this year, but because of the circumstances I have no clue where's best...I'll feel a bit like a newbie myself in that respect.

I'm sure there are things that are going to be new to everyone on here whether you're a brand new newbie or established glastonut. The whole point of this website is for you to contact other Glasto-goers and get the opportunity to found out these things.

Port - you are indeed a meanie!

[sifi]

They did that last year the buggers, trying to pass off last years map as the new one. No 2009 map until May or June I'd have thought.

[mikeb]

The map on that fine guide has still got the Leftfield stage on it!

[MikeyB37]

Thanks for all the biters, so easy to wind people up, this is by far the biggest catch I caught all day.

took ages to get my hook back from dvjj's big mouth. I wasn't calling newbies morons if you read my thread properly, I was referring to questions like "what drink should I drink" or " will a 3 man tent do for 5 of us"

[Squall Moogle]

Is there gravity at Glasto?

[Funkfarley]

Is there gravity at Glasto?

[Squall Moogle]

What a stupid question!

Moron.

[Funkfarley]

Well, how many g's is it?

Do I need to add weights to my clothing?

[mr_bizarre]

I recKon you are right or...maybe he didn't ever get tickets and has never even been to Glastonbury which is a blessing with his attitude!

Bring on the questions folks

• How much beer?

  Bring your own, WBC well rip you off

• Wellies or Walking boots?

  I find that my feet are waterproof so I wear sandals

• How much Money?

  I didn't bring a penny last year and had an ace time!!

• What clothing?

  Best to bring your own clothing

• Best waterproof jacket?

  No, take your shit one

• Crocs or not?

  Animals aren't allowed on site, sorry.

• Best Band?

  I like rubber bands, failing that, then The Beatles are good.

• Favourite wet wipes?

  I do like a wet wipe, try to get ones with alcohol in case you run out of things to drink, you can wring them out.

• Best snacks?

  I always take a cow head with me to chew on.

• Best place to eat?

  The Pyramid stage has the best food

• Are there showers?

  Only when it rains

• Can I get my hair washed/straightened anywhere? Or should I invest in gas straighteners?

  Yes, there is a town called Bristol (only a 5 min walk away) you can get your hair done there.