Have you ever been caught out........?

[muddyslingbax]

As a girl, it never ceases to amaze me how women seem to have much better bladder control in crowds - maybe it's practice or mind over matter - but you don't see many (thankfully) weeing into cups!

However that's Glasto - I have been to V which is woefully under-estimated for toilets and have seen lots of people (men and women) weeing in crowds, against fences, squatting on the floor etc .... horrible.

For Dirty_Dave all I can say is the toilet situation at Glasto is FAR FAR better than at V, I have never had to queue there whereas have been stuck for 45 mins plus at other festivals and missed entire sets. I guess it depends if you want to spend a lot of time right down the front, but even so you can usually get out of the crowd and back in again between bands.

[fdc]

Perhaps I have enough bladder control not to need to piss every 30 minutes......

[strudders]

i have a thimble as a bladder and Slingbax Jnr left his mark on my pelvic floor.

i spend alot of time going to and from toilets but have no interest in staying in one place for long so it's not an issue.

One night in the Pussy Parlure, it was rammed, queued forever to get in, was REALLY messed up, dying for a wee...For a lost moment i was almost tempted to have a wee in there, under the table or something but thankfully a moment of sanity drifted in and i decided not to!

It's a worry because under normal and straight conditions there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that i would do such a thing...but get me trashed??....

[rabid]

However as my urine bits have stopped working so I have to be fully plumbed in, so if you see me just always have in the back of your mind "he looks happy because he is having a tinkle right now in front of me as we speak" or words to that effect.

[Festy Lover]

There's never a queue at the long drops and they are no where near as bad as festival myth has it. V is absolutely dreadful for loos, you couldn't pay me to go back there.

[strudders]

I'm going to sit and throw darts at you until that smug look is gone.

[muddyslingbax]

Now you have to imagine this in a very broad South African accent.

When I was at the tattoo/piecing parlour the other week, the girl who was extorting excruciating pain on me was tell me about a story when she was at Sonisphere last year. She is well into industrial and very hardcore, however loves her showers and hates camping but had been persuaded to go due to VIP stuff and back stage malarkey. As she was watching some band a girl next to her pull her gusset to one side and peed in front of her... she went "I cood not beleeve it, the durty bitch! I was aboot te kick her in the foo foo" no shit! she has big boots as well! I was pissing myself and my daughter would have but she had just stuck a huge needle through her nose and though better of it, she just cried...

[APC]

Just get a Lenor bottle. You can get one that holds a litre or 2 so you can use fill it to the brim and not waste a drop. Then you can take it home to display with all the ones you filled in your tent.

For crapping though, that is often a 2 person job. It's prudent to get someone to hold the bag for you. When it's dark and the musics loud, noone even notices. If you get a helper, you can just roll a cigarette while shitting, for extra authenticity. Just make sure your bag doesn't have breather holes, especially if you have been on fizzy drinks and raw burgers; you'll never get it all back to your tent let alone your car. A shoebox is probably best in this situation. You can wrap them all up in newspaper to keep them separate. If you use the Glasto newspaper, you can use the date in there to keep them in chronological order. Once they've been knocked around a bit, it's hard to put them in order otherwise.

[junglist_matty]

Me and my mate were on the recieving end of a thrown cup of piss at Leeds, was disgusting, hit him on the back of his head and spray went all over me, knew it was piss straight away cause it was warm!

[fdc]

Me and my mate were on the recieving end of a thrown cup of piss at Leeds, was disgusting, hit him on the back of his head and spray went all over me, knew it was piss straight away cause it was warm!

[Adster]

Horrendous. What do you do in such a situation, barring the obvious solution (suicide)?

[TomfromStroud]

"But what do you do if your stomach suddenly decides to fall our your (sic) arse"

You walk to the scores of nearby toilets, obviously.

[Dirty_Dave]

Me and my mate were on the recieving end of a thrown cup of piss at Leeds, was disgusting, hit him on the back of his head and spray went all over me, knew it was piss straight away cause it was warm!

[Dirty_Dave]

Got myself a Lenor bottle yesterday. My mrs walked in to find me pouring all here fabric softener into a little plastic bottle, and when asked what i was doing....just stammered some rubbish about being given some advice about peeing into her lenor bottle by my cyber friends....!

If you could have seen the look! Priceless.

FYI - if you see a stray bottle of lenor with what looks like Red bull in, then please avoid.

[APC]

I'm gonna go for a collapsable 6 pint milk bottle.

[kaisherz]

Ive just bought 6 traveljohns for desperate measures .

slash in it, seal it, back in your bag.

no one will see, and you're not leaving piss all over the place.

dont forget to take it out of your bag later though :\

[Poleski]

Horrendous. What do you do in such a situation, barring the obvious solution (suicide)?

[choo choos]

hold it, or go to the loos. pissing/shitting in the crowd is beyond gross.

[Dirty_Dave]

Being a 'Glasto Virgin', one thing that i have always wondered when looking at the aerial photo of the huge crowds around the Pyramid stage is, if you need the loo what do you do? Fight your way our of the mass of people to the nearest loo and rick loosing your mates or just hold it?

Obviously for a 'No. 1' its a little easier, where at V festival i learnt a great little trick involving my poncho and a paper pint cup and for girls they have these mind boggling things call she-pees (I still have no idea hows these work.....but hey, im guessing its just one of lives many mysteries)

But what do you do if your stomach suddenly decides to fall our your arse?!? Arh.....why didn't i take that Imodium!!

I appreciate its a little early for this thread, so apologies if you are eating your breakfast!!