would she be ok?

[markeee]

If she has mental health issues, then chances are she won't be behaving in a particularly rational manner at the moment, which would explain any odd behaviour. Sending her flowers is a lovely thing to do, I don't see any problem with you doing that, it's good to know someone cares, even if you're too unwell to really appreciate it.

I wouldn't recommend the big festivals if she isn't in a good frame of mind, they can be pretty overwhelming at the best of times. Perhaps a day or night out would be more appropriate at this stage.

Keep in mind that the vomiting could be an eating disorder, and if she is on medication then drinking is a big no no so it's best that you avoid alcohol.

Edited February 28, 2010 by markeee

[Gems_GV09]

My worry is that if she did come, everyone I'm with will be drinking lots and taking most likely ket/mdma ..which I really really wouldn't want her going near, but the other day she was saying shed prob get some pills and ket for glasto..like really? in your state..

it's all rubbish!

[markeee]

sorry to approach this from a somewhat more selfish point of view, but glasto is one very precious week of the year - if it all goes pete tong do u really want to ruin the festival for yourself? she may well turn out to be the love of your life, but if she doesn't u might be regretting wasting a glasto looking after somone being sick all week, but as so many have said before you sound ACE fairplay hope u get a big thank you for this weekend from her soon

[markeee]

I'm debating texting her mate, her mate text her earlier but hadn't heard back ..not sure if I should text her and say

'she ever get back to you? feel really bad couldnt' get her to go harplands/a&e, worried her mum blames me which is why she's cut all ties incl fb, I'm wondering now if she drunk a bottle of mouthwash, when I asked where it was she said it was knocked in the bath, but surely it wouldnt be empty? Sounds crazy but could she really have done that?

[Gems_GV09]

im sure shes just embaressed, as soon as shes had a bit of time to think about how to approach the situation she'll text

[abu hamster]

Send her a message saying im here if you want to talk. Dangle that carrot. Best advice is you clear your balance and get to Glasto. It sounds like you need it!

I hope all turns out good. Depression is the worst but in the end its down to her to decide she needs the help you cannot force the issue!

Hugs Abu

[markeee]

Send her a message saying im here if you want to talk. Dangle that carrot. Best advice is you clear your balance and get to Glasto. It sounds like you need it!

I hope all turns out good. Depression is the worst but in the end its down to her to decide she needs the help you cannot force the issue!

Hugs Abu

[Guest musiclove123]

Send her a message saying im here if you want to talk. Dangle that carrot. Best advice is you clear your balance and get to Glasto. It sounds like you need it!

I hope all turns out good. Depression is the worst but in the end its down to her to decide she needs the help you cannot force the issue!

Hugs Abu

[markeee]

Agreed

[refriedgenes]

It sounds like you've got your hands full with this one, mate. Which isn't necessarily always terminal, or the end of the world. I've a friend that's had what sounds like a similar experience or two, with a troubled ladyfriend of his. They've known each other for a few years and done festies together nearly every year since then. Sometimes, she's on better form than others, which isn't really helpful to you. Last year at Glastonbury, she was nervous before she got there about the crowds (1st timer), but as soon as she got there, the fear pretty much evaporated. She also seemed quite a bit more confident when they came home.

On the flipside, she's been to the Cambridge Folk Festival with him, which is pretty small by comparison, (10,000 people), small site, never any crime, politeness by the bottle, they even allow glass because they can trust everybody, and she was on quite a downer for the weekend, nervous, struggled with even some of the smallest things.

I guess my point is that you can't always tell beforehand how it'll pan out, so even though it's a tough decision to make, you'll make the right one at the time. You seem like a pretty reasoned bloke, and you sound like you're trying to think it through from all angles, but whatever call you do make, you should feel confident that at the time of doing so, with the information you've got, you're making the right call.

Best of luck, you're not alone.

[mandypants]

I must say, Gems has got a point, and you certainly don't want her doing ket or any other drugs or alcohol while she is ill, they're seriously bad sh*t when mixed with even the mildest mental illness, not to mention mixing them with prescription meds, which she might just miss if she's having a great time, meaning a major crash afterwards and most probably emergency hospitalisation to the psyche ward.

You're a great lad for caring so much, but be very careful on how much of yourself you give to her at this point because she's not in a good place and you could get messed up with it all too. That might sound selfish, but believe me, I know. You need to be top notch mentally yourself to cope with someone like her, and it's easy to try too hard and bog yourself down.

[markeee]

im sure shes just embaressed, as soon as shes had a bit of time to think about how to approach the situation she'll text

[markeee]

I must say, Gems has got a point, and you certainly don't want her doing ket or any other drugs or alcohol while she is ill, they're seriously bad sh*t when mixed with even the mildest mental illness, not to mention mixing them with prescription meds, which she might just miss if she's having a great time, meaning a major crash afterwards and most probably emergency hospitalisation to the psyche ward.

You're a great lad for caring so much, but be very careful on how much of yourself you give to her at this point because she's not in a good place and you could get messed up with it all too. That might sound selfish, but believe me, I know. You need to be top notch mentally yourself to cope with someone like her, and it's easy to try too hard and bog yourself down.

[Gems_GV09]

temp measure - i'd put money on it, you say this is a completely different side to her? then when shes straight/sober she will be aware of exactly how worrying her behaviour was and that must be really hard to deal with (if it were me i would want to hide for a few days too). Also if she is struggling to face whats happened and a possibility u may finish things it would seem a lot easier to block you and finish things before you could?

[Guest musiclove123]

I must say, Gems has got a point, and you certainly don't want her doing ket or any other drugs or alcohol while she is ill, they're seriously bad sh*t when mixed with even the mildest mental illness, not to mention mixing them with prescription meds, which she might just miss if she's having a great time, meaning a major crash afterwards and most probably emergency hospitalisation to the psyche ward.

You're a great lad for caring so much, but be very careful on how much of yourself you give to her at this point because she's not in a good place and you could get messed up with it all too. That might sound selfish, but believe me, I know. You need to be top notch mentally yourself to cope with someone like her, and it's easy to try too hard and bog yourself down.

Edited February 28, 2010 by musiclove123

[markeee]

Yeah it's good to care but she needs to want to help herself too

[benjy26]

I have read this topic with interest. I admire the way you're are trying to handle this, and the fact you clearly care for her a great deal.

However, (I have no qualifications in counselling, in medicine, in psychology, or anything similar so not sure how good my advice is!) if I were in your shoes I would leave her be. Maybe on a temporary basis, maybe for good, time would tell I guess. My guess is she is trying to do the right thing by you, in letting you get out of what is a horrible situation. You have shown her you care, I would leave it at that for now. Isn't it said that in order to love somebody properly, you need to love yourself first. It may well be that she needs to face up to her problems on her own...

Easy for me to say I guess, but just try and forget about it by doing some things you enjoy. Spend some time with tour family and friends.

Good luck with it. Sincerely

[markeee]

I have read this topic with interest. I admire the way you're are trying to handle this, and the fact you clearly care for her a great deal.

However, (I have no qualifications in counselling, in medicine, in psychology, or anything similar so not sure how good my advice is!) if I were in your shoes I would leave her be. Maybe on a temporary basis, maybe for good, time would tell I guess. My guess is she is trying to do the right thing by you, in letting you get out of what is a horrible situation. You have shown her you care, I would leave it at that for now. Isn't it said that in order to love somebody properly, you need to love yourself first. It may well be that she needs to face up to her problems on her own...

Easy for me to say I guess, but just try and forget about it by doing some things you enjoy. Spend some time with tour family and friends.

Good luck with it. Sincerely

[greenfairy43]

sorry to approach this from a somewhat more selfish point of view, but glasto is one very precious week of the year - if it all goes pete tong do u really want to ruin the festival for yourself? she may well turn out to be the love of your life, but if she doesn't u might be regretting wasting a glasto looking after somone being sick all week, but as so many have said before you sound ACE fairplay hope u get a big thank you for this weekend from her soon

[benjy26]

I worry if I leave her, she'll never get back to me/speak to me again lol

[markeee]

First of all, I hope I don't sound uncaring, I'm really not.

BUT, Glastonbury is not somewhere you want to be 'carrying' someone, be that someone with personal issues of someone who hates crowds/mud/camping, whatever.

This girl sounds like she could quite easily mess your head up too, she needs professional help from what you've told us about here. Obviously none of us can really have any idea about her troubles, but it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate.

Look after yourself.

[markeee]

This could well be the case unfotunately. But anything that happens will happen with good reason. Sit tight and hope for the best.

Just make sure that you show her you care without pestering her (as harsh as that sounds) As there could be a thin line between these two perceptions. You mention you have contact with her friends? I think a good way to find out what is going on is through them, rather than through the girl herself. Of course, they may not tell you everything, and will not want to betray her trust in any way but at least it won;t upset/confuse her...

[abu hamster]

Thing is, I do care..although I havent known her for too long..and didn't know about all these issues, I do care! Admittedly it was an odd start to the relationship lol

[markeee]

makes me kinda cry really, I know she's not well, wasn't aware till Thursday when she told me she tried to kill herself on weds - I knew about her past, she told me on Tuesday, but I dunno - I kinda feel sorry for her - a lot of bad stuff in her past,

I guess , it's all in her hands now, if she doesn't ever speak to me/contact me again not much I can do - but i unfortunately know she'll endup with some loser again, whos know good for her

[scaryclaireyfairy]

if she chooses not to contact you, you shouldn't take it personally. she's clearly going through some terrible stuff and quite often the last thing anyone in a bad headspace wants to do is talk about it and thus have to hear how what they feel sounds to others. her family are aware there is a problem and she's not well, that's the main thing. they are in the best position to help her/get her help.