Virtual campfire 2009

[darrenbha]

Probably just 4 miles tomorrow. Got lovely hills nearby

[fairyinboots]

Its pancake flat round here, I need some hills to do some hill work....

Looks up at the Tor!

[fairyinboots]

I am going to crawl into my tent. Have a good weekend if I do not come along before then. I am off for the weekend to Essex to support some friends running a marathon.

Night all.

[darrenbha]

I'm off to sleep now too. Night everyone

[Rufus Gwertigan]

I'm off to sleep now too. Night everyone

[Rufus Gwertigan]

There's a rainbow inside the mind

There's a rainbow inside the mind

There's a rainbow inside the mind

There's a rainbow inside the mind

"Injected with a poison!

We don't need that anymore."

[karlpowell]

Its friday so you know what that means

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my

husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the

door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another

9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted

solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =

MIDNIGHT!

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him

'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pi***d off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'

When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three

times, then said 'oh f**k.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat,

cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then

tripped over the coffee table and farted.

[darrenbha]

Very good as ever karl. Anyone for coffee and breakfast. Just got back from my run

[bertieb73]

Morning everyone.

I will have a coffee thanks Darren. What's cooking??

[darrenbha]

Full english today mate. Black pudding and all. Pork sausages cos it saves upsetting the cows

[bertieb73]

Full english today mate. Black pudding and all. Pork sausages cos it saves upsetting the cows

[darrenbha]

Oh well you can't have it all. Looking forward to karls set though

[karlpowell]

Ill just run my set list past you guys

ill start off with a couple of 1 liners you know liker the ginsters advert

Looks like my Tom Tom's Broke.

I put Chelsea in it and it said it was 2 mins from Rome!!!!

I went to buy some camoflage pants the other day but could not find any

if at first you dont sucseed ...dont take up sky diving

then i will go in to a little story like this 1

BERLIN – German police said an elderly man was so annoyed at hearing the same serenade over and over that he called authorities to report his neighbors

— only to discover the culprit was a musical greeting card on his own windowsill. Police said Tuesday the 82-year-old from Goslar in central Germany told officers he was sick of the music, which would come at irregular intervals and at all hours.

Upon further investigation, police found the musical greeting card on his windowsill, where occasional breezes opened the card just enough to play an irritating tune.

Police said the retiree was happy to find out his neighbors weren't trying to annoy him.]

Next i will do a short story about the BMW owner

A day from the diary of a BMW driver...

"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my

motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow

down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a

barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and

honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW

lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying

the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an

inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my

motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my

headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway

and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that,

but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind

me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run

him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get

onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent

car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man

gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car

goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I

had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to

have some points put on! But the man at the police station said that

because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12

points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take

it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a

BMW!"

and thats all folks

[darrenbha]

i reckon you should compere the stage too karl

[bertieb73]

Loving the BMW material Karl. Think you will go down a treat...

Already got the compare lined up though Darren. It's none other than the King of Comedy Jimmy Cricket. He's so funny he even has to have letters on his wellies to show him what feet to put them on, and check this out, there's more, he still puts them on the wrong feet..priceless!!!

[Mardy]

Loving the BMW material Karl. Think you will go down a treat...

Already got the compare lined up though Darren. It's none other than the King of Comedy Jimmy Cricket. He's so funny he even has to have letters on his wellies to show him what feet to put them on, and check this out, there's more, he still puts them on the wrong feet..priceless!!!

[karlpowell]

Ive just got some material if you let me have late slot

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price.'

A couple were lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth wedding anniversary when the wife says 'Darling, as this is such a special occasion, I think that it is time I made a confession.

Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years .

The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife's eyes and says 'My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, I cannot hold your past against you, in fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit?'

She said 'I don't think you understand, my name was Brian and I played rugby for Wales . . ...

[Mardy]

Bit o' blue... fer the dads, like...

[darrenbha]

Thats fine. Karl can just open and close the show. Its only comedy so we can run far later.

[karlpowell]

OI Darren your not keeping this fire burning ... I found it on page 3 feeling all unloved and cold

[Rufus Gwertigan]

OI Darren your not keeping this fire burning ... I found it on page 3 feeling all unloved and cold

[strudders]

*enters the fire whore*

Morning all

*strudders drops off some oak he has found*

[karlpowell]

Studders is the fire whore(twisted fire whore) next week when you lucky buggers at at B.T. i will be cheif fire whore

[strudders]

This may be the case! you are the whore in ascendance...... *passes the chopper and the keys to the tractor*

[karlpowell]

I was talking OLD computers to some friends in another forum and it was stated that this track makes 1 member semi-erect ..

http://www.c64.com/media/Rob%20Hubbard%20-...ecording%5D.mp3

Im not so sure

Edited May 9, 2009 by karlpowell