Virtual campfire 2009

[karlpowell]

Sure was ...

So what will you be doing 10 weeks today ????

I will just bee opening my eyes in my tent after my first night at the festy , probably cleaning up all the trash around our camp digging out the best chairs from the storage tent and stoking the fire .

get the stove out and get some brekky on and a nice brew

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Edited April 16, 2009 by karlpowell

[darrenbha]

I'll be celebrating being at glasto, the real thing, i'll have done 2 nights at avebury, 2 local to glasto and just waking up to my first proper glasto morning, or just staggering back to the tent (yeah thats more accurate). and you?

[karlpowell]

i will have that nice warm glow ... you know the best is yet to come.

[darrenbha]

Its an awesome feeling, cos of the football match on the wednesday, thursday is down as my real exporing day

[karlpowell]

Ahhhhh lazy days in the sun

[bertieb73]

Its an awesome feeling, cos of the football match on the wednesday, thursday is down as my real exporing day

[ivan]

Howdy folks...

Given it's my first Glasto, I may be spending rather a lot of time exploring getting lost on the Weds and Thurs (with the obvious stop off for the Altern8 set on Thursday night.)

Anyway, just got the running order for the campfire stage this Saturday confirmed.

14.00 N.W.A do Nursery Rhymes

16.00 Stan Boardman does a stand-up set where he can't mention the Germans and Chip Shops

16.02 Michael Jackson doing a warm up set before his O2 marathon. No pyrotechnics are allowed due to a previous issue he had with them.

18.00 Dame Vera Lynn does Cradle of Filth (can't get that image out of my head)

20.00 Neds Atomic Dustbin Vs Steps soundclash

22.00 Carter USM (just for Darren as he's never seen them live before!)

00.00 Jeremy Clarkson DJ Set Should be good

[darrenbha]

Dame vera lynn. I'm impressed bert. The cows have asked if there's any chance they can perform their karaoke set

[bertieb73]

Got the Kareoke system ordered for the Cows and asked for the following songs to be programmed in..

Cow Wow Wow - Go Wild in the Country

Cheeseney Hawkes - One and Only

Steve Milk Hurley - Jack your Body

Calf Man Calf Biscuit - Trumpton Riots

Beef - Place Your Hands

Leather Girls - It's Raining Men

Friesian of Doom - Home Invasion Robbery

Gnarls Barkley - Grazy

Is that my coat? Yeah, you best pass it me.....

[joshwarrr]

*passes coat*

[darrenbha]

>staggers back into camp drunk and singing>

[karlpowell]

walks back in to camp normal and sober ..

[karlpowell]

The 09 campfire is somewhat lacking compared to the 08 version by this time last year we were already 450 pages deep .

I think we need an injection of Friday comedy ....

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their

bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front

of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are

you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first

met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back

then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so

sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my

face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for

20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

'I would have been released today.'

A SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW!

'WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE BRITISH SOLDIER!'

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in CAMBELTOWN, SCOTLAND

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.

However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.

After all, it is ONLY A SIGN. You may say.

What kind of business would dare to post such a sign?'

A FUNERAL PARLOUR!

(WHO SAID MORTICIANS HAD NO SENSE OF HUMOUR?)

YOU GOTTA LOVE IT!!!

Edited April 17, 2009 by karlpowell

[karlpowell]

A Sparky ('Electrician' Royalty of all Trades) dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you."

"Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the Sparky sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive. Is it because I'm a Sparky the Royalty of all Trades"

"Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty.

"We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!"

The Sparky is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty."

"That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter, "We've added up your time sheets."

[darrenbha]

Ow my head. Morning guys any tea going

[bertieb73]

I've just brewed Darren so here you go...

(Hands Darren a cuppa)

Heavy night?

[darrenbha]

very heavy night, great fun though, went to see jim bob in that well known mecca of entertainment, welwyn garden city, knackered today though, cheers for the cuppa

[joshwarrr]

Afternoon all, How are we today??

[darrenbha]

afternoon mate. afternoon already, ouch thats not good, hows things

[joshwarrr]

not too bad, lounging round doing nothing, its great being a student.

although the fact it is afternoon already is worrying.

[darrenbha]

I've actually had to do some work today which has come as a real shock, and with the hangover from hell, i'm just hoping someone will bring food soon

[joshwarrr]

oh dear oh dear. I was just about to go off and get some food. Pie Minister?

[darrenbha]

oh dear oh dear. I was just about to go off and get some food. Pie Minister?

[joshwarrr]

see you in a bit then

[joshwarrr]

back and with a selectuion of pies. Thai, Heidi, Mr. Porky and the classic Pie Minister Pie. Who wants one?