Random acts of kindness

[MadCampingNut]

So many people helping each other getting onto the CV fields on the east side. Pushing campervans and cars stuck in the mud. The tractors were a godsend too, I had to be pulled on backwards

[Station]

I got my trolley stuck this afternoon. It was well heavy and I was attempting to do a 'run and jump' type of monouvre onto a higher level platform thingy when my trolley flipped over onto it's side. I felt like a right dick and generally couldn't get it back on its wheels and this really kind guy helped me......Apart from that I feel I carried out plenty of acts of kindness all weekend in between my ' i'm getting too old for this' and 'think my festival days are numbered attitude

[boskobalaban]

My girlfriend got stuck in the mud and I helped her out…but firstly I fondled her breasts alot, spanked her and downed her can of strawberry brothers.

Andy Murray to win Wimbledon anyone?

[piskie73]

I helped a guy out of the mud on Thursday night, in Shangrila, only to find (after he had thanked me and moved on) that his weight had pushed me down into the mud and I was also stuck! Another nice man helped me out before I turned around to find my husband on the floor with mud all over his hands! Was like a chain of 'stuck' people lol

[hazey_jane]

Thank you to the guy who gave me some of his last loo roll over the door of the longdrops, after only realising after 'going' that I'd not got any.

[boskobalaban]

Thank you to the guy who gave me some of his last loo roll over the door of the longdrops, after only realising after 'going' that I'd not got any.

[nona]

I have to give a special mention to a group of about 5 or 6 lads and lasses who had taken a few hours out of thier day on the Wednesday to help people with trolleys/buggys/prams ect up and down the "hill of death" next to gate C, what a help they were.

[lea7784]

my son lost his wellie and was hopping beside me i noticed a few seconds later we have 2 policemen and a few lovely strangers hunting for a mud covered wellie we found it

[funkyuk]

Thanks to anyone (and there were many who i either asked or who offered their services) for helping me or Mrs Wife push my VW wagon laden with kids through the thick oozy mud in places. Much love to you all.

[rachface1]

the guy that helped me out of the mud on the way to the pyramid stage, and they gir who was totlly lost who me and my friend tried to help, she must of been to out of it to have a clue what we were trying to tell her, she didnt even know where she was camped, so after she walked off, i straight away fell over in the mud again hah, she came running back and pulled me out and made sure i was okay

and the two men in front of me at the front of the pyramid stage made room for me to sit down (i have a bad leg) as i was sore, and gave me painkillers and water, then helped me back up again

[brain yolk!]

On the wednesday, a couple of guys offered to take all of our bags off for us. Forgetting i was at Glastonbury and not the real world for a second, I was pretty suspicious. But they carried our bags full of about 40 beers each, straight to our camping spot. Seemed like a couple of really cool guys too.

Over the weekend I lost count of the amount of people I saw helped up out of the mud - one thing I love about a muddy Glastonbury

[Oddone]

I got my usual 'bloody hell Lucy, why do you bring so much stuff with you?' banter on arrival at CT.

The casual digs soon ended when I was handing out spare blankets for the cold CT campers, dry clothes to those soaked through, had a washing line set up in my tent to dry stuff on and space blankets to stop the leaking in the tents.

Note to all the people who had trouble getting through the mud...next time, bring or fashion walking sticks. I brought 2 with me, one broke (but I then fixed it). Never fell over once and was able to yoink myself out any sticky patches. Gazebo poles are very useful for this purpose.

[Oddone]

I nearly smacked someone in the queue to get in. Im walking slowly towards the gate and every 30seconds this f**ker behind me kicks my f**king trolley.

After a while I turn round ready to give him a toungelashing to find its this guy gently kicking my crate of brothers back on the trolley as it kept slipping off. Needless to say i felt a bit of a dick.

If it had slipped off my whole trolley would have shed its load right in the middle of the path with thousands behidn me. I gave him a cider from my backpack for it and then duly helped him through the mud when his wheels got jammed a few hundred yards later.

[anoldhippie@60]

Thanks to the guy that caught me as I was on my way down into the mud. Also dislocated my knee Sunday afternoon dancing and carried on dancing till 2am. Monday morning my knee had swollen up and I could hardly walk. Went to info to see if there was anybody that could help take my tent to the car. No one available. Sitting in my tent a woman came up who live a couple fields away and was looking for her tent she lent somebody. Told her my problem, she went off and came back with a dumped wheelbarrow helped me take my tent down and then pushed all the way to the car which was over a mile away. If she had not helped me I would have had to leave my tent behind. I believe she was sent to help me, to much of a coincidence. She was my Angel.

[Oddone]

Me and my wife found a ticket on the way in on Wednesday on the walk down to the festival. It wasn't gate A but a wee backward road that you had to walk past loads of houses to get to. But I seen this ticket on the ground half way down the road and it belonged to some Ed guy. We thought about handing it it over to security, but decided to continue walking and see if we could find Ed on the way. We thought he would most likely be at the gates frantically searching everything. Sure enough when we got there, the same guy in the photo was ripping everything from his bag, looking as if he was going to cry. He was very relieved when he seen what we had brought. Over joyed would describe it better.

[Glastoforever]

As I was returning from watching TV on the Radio on the Other Stage back to meet my 7 friends at the Pyramid I decided that it would be a good idea to buy them all a nice cold cider as the sun was shining brightly. However after buying 8 ciders at the bar and only being given those stupid 'egg crate' type carriers to assist me I quickly realised that my chances of getting all 8 ciders to my friends in one piece was slim to say the least.

I then asked a random girl at the bar if she wouldnt mind walking with me towards our flag, which was pretty much smack bang in the middle of the crowd, with the promise that I'd ask some other random stranger if they could take over the duties when she'd had enough. Thus a sort of relay system was employed and the 'baton' of drinks was then passed to three other random strangers before a full compliment of 8 cold ciders was succesfully delivered.

Cue high fives all round!!

To those baton bearers, I salute you for your random act of kindness, and if I couldve been arsed to walk all the way back to the bar I'm sure I would've bought you all a drink!!

Glastonbury at its best

[tommmy]

Thanks to the guy that caught me as I was on my way down into the mud. Also dislocated my knee Sunday afternoon dancing and carried on dancing till 2am. Monday morning my knee had swollen up and I could hardly walk. Went to info to see if there was anybody that could help take my tent to the car. No one available. Sitting in my tent a woman came up who live a couple fields away and was looking for her tent she lent somebody. Told her my problem, she went off and came back with a dumped wheelbarrow helped me take my tent down and then pushed all the way to the car which was over a mile away. If she had not helped me I would have had to leave my tent behind. I believe she was sent to help me, to much of a coincidence. She was my Angel.

[Biblical Meat]

Poems for the Wrist Bandits..

A parliament of owls

Tall gentleman carrying a baby in the inside of his jacket

Small baby deer travelling on the back of an open-top truck

Cucumbers nestling amongst dead baby rabbits

Urban hangover

Chemical waffle

Smelly kennel

Snacking on a lion’s breakfast

Witch pond

The Thing song

Cock docket

Heroin bone

The joy of pure joy

Plastic hand

The swollen market

Space chips

Creamy lion

Afraid of Marxism

Itchy bingo

Waves of pulsating joy

Jam jar full of second hand eyeballs

Fat jaffa (and the love we will make)

The love cake (ironing out the weird0

We attached magnets to the cat’s paws to enable him to attract metal

Metalogoly is not a myth

Studying anal passages on your lunch break

The cage would not ho,ld Tiger-Man

Texan skeleton

Gobs of blood.

Hosed down before breakfast

Dead club

Kinky astronaut

Who loves carefree children

The tribulations of middle kid

Middle boy – pig shy shy

Bible juice

Evil chin

Magazine blood

Wolf finger

Last jessop in Christdom

Jagger’s thighs

Cinema sludge

Batman and Robinson

Graham’s cute birds

Archduke Ferdinand and the yellow-eyed losers

Tough skin and dead jacket

The Julie situation

Ostrich soup (the kinder gorilla)

Lovely father, angry mutha

Thunder zombie

The bird that could not fly

Drunk in the underground dungeon

King of death

Short clouds

Pickled whiskers

1.2- frog’s porn

Bug-a-Boo-The return of ‘the man with one face’

Ok Joe (chubby check-ut)

Hot rupture vs jam multitude

Ask me if I like fish..i will reply ‘no!’

Dead egg (he was alive on arrival)

The living breathing one-eyed cat

Porridge frog

Porridge fog

Vikram and Paddy go to get some fish

Pies cannot be eaten if I am having a w***

Chicken’s ticker

The dead end of Marble Arch

WE WIPED OUT HER BRAIN AND CONVINCED HER SHE WAS MARRIED TO a Machine

Master of Z.

Chicken gristle

The eagle that flew out of the back door

Fudge for breakfast

Hamster sandwich

Death to all happy ladies

The pejorative remarks were aimed at the bishop, not at you young sex slave

Muddled ducks

Coughing up syrup on the train home

Wicked little children clapping their clammy hands in time to the ageless beat

Sexless beeps

We stuck up the vintage porn posters with leftover buffalo snot

These fish dishes are way past their best, mamma

March to me, baby Oliver

2nd hand spunk

Spunk vaccum

My skin wuz crawlin’ around the graveyard

Saturday pistol

I love the curyl girls

Red sparrows

Rambo of the Bailey

Old skinny sex legend

HANDBAG CULTURE

SILENT VULTURES

Hispanic spanner

Gel belly

Modern saturation

Nobody knows how long her trunk really is

Spiderman was a kid

Hospital lips

The Mick that would not move

Kiss the vultures (nose job)

Kiss the vunerable (on the eyes)

Crab sandwich and a kiss from the future

Modern breakfast

Sunshine hit you like thunder

Afraid of the fraggles

Corky and Julian

Listening to Jump suit music with chubby retard

King of tomatoes

The maps are covered in butter

Jam of the day

Fingers on a ghost

Truck load o’ skulls

Buzzing around the abbatoir

Making bread sandwiches in my lover’s kitchen

Snake poetry

Gleaming like a newborn pussy

The dandruff miracles

Owl sandwich

…suddenly the Siamese twins stopped dreaming of a life apart

Skyman vs groundsman

Lost in the project (s)

Oh, you fat woodpecker / cuckoo

All the young Siamese girls

Buffalo gals muching through poetry

Talkin’ about thuggery with the art school pansy

On the phone to Moon Man

EATING COFFEE BEANS IN THE SUN (on Goblin Island)

The righteous death squad

The Vermin Poets (I have to say thanks to the Childish Adults)

We love the childish adults

Dying donkey (a collection of nuggets from the underbelly of Siam)

Pop death

Dancing to the Pop Rivets with Uncle Charlie

Death by pop

Cannibal hotlist

Summer teeth – shop clock

Sex bag

Triple x finger buffet

Legendary slapper

Stuck on the moon

Watching the ship hawks

Ladybird skeleton

The claws of a bear

My kinda kinda ghost

The storm that changed their faces

Dosser academy

Witch in the whitewash

My daughter then handed me a drawing of a dead frog which she saw whilst queing for the ice cream truck

American snot waves

Ice cream trunk

Baby jester

You can’t turn people into killers and then expect them to function well in polite society (whatever that is)

She is Dallas Porn star (sister of Reynard Jaxxson)

Curry for breakfast

The lonesome death of Gayle Smith

Roll out the dead (at Whipsnade zoo)

Have a party and then be sick on yer feet

POCKET MCDONALD

THE LAST DAYS OF EALING GEESE

How do you expel your nervous energy?

Crippled blimps

I’ve heard Bono Voxx survives on a diet of energy shakes and peanut butter biscuits

I like languages---especially ‘Rodent-Speak’

Bunty on the moon

Buting around the moon

The day the terrific babies stopped whingeing

Cardboard shark

The day they got their hairs cut

‘buttered fist’

Inverted wagon

The day my dad left for Southampton

Key room key mosutaches

Tear drops in my chicken soup

Converted skeleton

Lung calorie

The man that could not fit in a hole

My splendid beats

That is a fine example of a panther, zoo official

Caustic rebellion

Boozing on the moon

The pepper dagger

The melting movie

How do we stop Gandolph?

Skinny grin

Bump your head on a brick wall and then think about your Jesus

Gimp in the family photo

The hairy family disciples

She kissed me with furry lips

Teeth in the ocean

Smokey Mountain Horror Show

Pictorial evidence of the Man-Woman

The jolliest dingo

Dingo in my pipes

My skin all over Kylie’s eyes (electronic mkt)

The beef cupid

Hot cat

The beef remains the same

The kinky hitman

I want onions in my gravy (umbrella fudge)

TV Eyefish

The laste eyeball in a japanese socket

See-thru Japan

Taste the eyeball

Furry dynamite

Japanese knucles

Hairy Japanese future

Wolf wagon

Durable death

Making love to a Beatles fanatic whilst rubbing the forehead of a little rubber monkey (fer luck)

She sells sausages

Duck bulb

Sometimes the angry men stop shouting (for a while)

Wizard’s eyeball (chapter 2:- milk-white eyebrows)

Airport sex

Egyptian fist

The village that could not identify it’s own killers

Candy-coated boredom

The glistening white bomb

We fed them choclate mice just before we told them the dodgy news

Oncoming stereo

Mind poop

All-american slush (Hannibal’s cheeks)

Hindu love box

The remaining skulls were handed out to the exchange students

Sweet dreams, nelson

My mate the alligator wrestler

RED SHIPS ARE OUT OF THE EQUASION

MY FAVOURITE BEARD (DEATH IN A SUPERMARKET)

Whistle lynch

Three men loving the aliens

Lynching the whites

Caramel piranha

Caramel panda

The day we turned the lights on

Integral meat products

The last man to eat fish

ARSE PILE / AKA PILE OF ARSES

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SWIMMING WITH STOUT

Sweet dream of Charles and his magical Atlas

The caustic wit oof Terry Grapple-Hook III

Sexy peanut

If you go to the info dept., they will give you info

My daughter’s turtle

Daughter’s hangover

Sienna Miller and the Happy Jacksons

Gorilla in a little boat

Kinky museum

The last man to leave was the biggest man ever

Zombie catchment area

Yea yeah fast Henry

The golden bird flew for the silver eggs

Dormant boner

The leak that set them free

Ethel’s cheek bones

Man-made holocaust

Tom Waits for no one

Time wants to kiss the backside of death

Magnetic frog

Big bad bearded strawberry

More haselet, less speed

Speed make-up

Trying to identify the devil’s weakness while simultaneously brushing Ted Nugent’s eyebrows

Gristle combing

Acid Jewellery – audio cocaine

Memory magnets

We populated the dead cities with the left-over wearlords

Assistant to P Monger

Kestrel drum

The love we made with the X Girls

The king of Mervyn’s gardens

Massive swifting birds

The kinky somnambulist

Carefree beard

Falling in love with a tar baby

Yabba yabba – Gulliver sends a text message to God

Pig Belly UK

Too fat for Buses

I rue the day David Bowie met the elf

David Bowie was once my pal, then he discovered Bhuddism

Killah Buddha

My big bald bobby sack

That magic panther

Web sites made of cheese

Shave a monkey in the morning

Crepes for every meal

Turtle pipe

Turtle in a tree (looking down on a baby dog)

Manga walrus

I fell in love with a girl from a Manga Movie

Specific ocean

He ain’t gonna live in the tunnel

Arab ramp

Chuckling with the Chutney Cousins

Metal glove

She sang songs of freedom before eating her last meal

Mumra’s sweet lament

Rattled by a bone DJ

Rattled by a bone jockey

Harvest of the damned (parts 1 thru 3)

Turtle on his back looking up at the stars and wondering what they are made of

Cheesy doubt

Mainstream ghost

Vaccum of androids

Montague Daniels and the Soft Horses

Gorilla on top of an abandoned ice cream van

American yank

The same as last week’s face!

Bag of thunder

Mr you are star star star

Telephone binge

Guilty whip

Perjorative remarks aimed at a weak kitten

Lady Gunge and the traffic beasties

Surefire hiit of the next century

MONKEY BUNGALOW

THE LAST EElS IN THE GRAVY BOAT

The starving eyebrows

I made a wish- it was that humans could fly like birdies

Bastard on my shoulder

Keeping up with Maik

Chubby Tuesdays

Mavis the Dog

Arbuckle and Sheamus

Take away the salt, leave the pepper

Glorious robot

The android that could not cry

There is an itty bitty baby stuck up in a tree, there is an itty bitty baby looking down at me. Oh, won’t someone take him from that branch, take that baba down and gie him a second chance

Let me get a glass o’ lukewarm gravy, baby

The baby in the cake / the baby in the moon

Velvet hoax

It ain’t what nuts thought it would be

My powdered soup got sniffed up by a big-nosed sailor

French hiss- I like insubordination..makes me feel good

I dream of a zulu nation (zulu daydream)

Secret life of pilcahrds

The harder zones

Ascertain why we cannot bring down baby

Smelling like a pirate’s armpits

Division of hell

Monkey thump

Dreaming of a better woman

parsimminous

trunk full of elephants

Hands down-the best vegetable in Scotland

Microwaved lobster

Carefree spots

Sinning is good for you

Baby’s string

We took our picnic by a stinking river

Disingenuous priest

Skeleton boner

Recycled dream

My dream smells like plasticine

Ok, this is the way we roll-

Listless doctor

Twisted eel

Hammer you down into the ground

Ghost juice

It means ‘what day was/is it?)

Helicopter pulse

Positionof Gary Smith

No such thing as jazz lessons

Jazz legions

Ageless baby

…he came back in a carrier bag

The lover that fell from a coconut tree

Disco trollop

Let’s get sweaty

I ate a Joey and then felt bad

Kangaroo puss

Chicken trumpet

My new E flavour

Physical hat

Hands off my batchloer conk

Like kissing a brick

Morning dancer

Invisible ribcage

Duivided by Steinbeck

Jawbone Ramone

Touch me, I feel sick

The much lamented Goergie Ross

The diamond kitten

My voice sounds like a cat’s meow

Mr Julie and the Fantasy Force Four

Ten to ten – death squad jubilee

Underground cowboys

My favouriote dog was a cat

Public thrust

Memory of a slab of good meat

Bogus ozone layer (rubber pilchard)

Flight of the bogie

Coral web (nop, we don’t eat fish)

We eat fish (and meat too)

Geordie roast

Mother’s beard

Sex up the flower show

Memories of Egg-man (Norfolk pussy)

Pussy jam

Ginger misfit

Seven names for BT – The Big Whopper, Big Daddy, Large Boy, Big Jack, Five Star

My Boy Coco-Puss

Cockey pussy

They offered me a plarte of gristle, I said ‘no’

My computer is a disease

The funky gypsy

Scraed of eyebrows

Pistol whiskers

Crab meat in my sleeping bag

I love fashion (I love wearing my mum’s jeans)

Mummy pavlova

Daddy ws a punk rocker, but now he’s a shoe salesman

My dad the liberal

Drunk on cowboy juice

Juicy ghost

His face were melting in ds moonlight

I like mango-my mum I s a sword fighter

Slag attack!

Bumping into cprses on the way home from the bar

Caged animals make more mess

When I met Ali

The lost rockets.

Ten things we can do with our gym

Legends of Warsaw

Goin’ back to Warsaw

Mouthful of Charlie parker

We got together and drank heaven

Haunted by the ghost of Bilyl Bunter

William is my favourite man

Hospital relics

Wrong side of the soccer bll

Horse in the hospital

Dangerous gammon

Look at that pink winky

Optical wish

Fanny bag

Gorilla vs helicopter

Corpse on the settee

Starfish fish

The poison rockets

A bag full of chins

Buying a wig from Tesco’s at 4 in the morning

Half-eaten wolf

Black market baby

Chubby lips

Baby said ‘what?;

Filthy shadow

Pork drum

The blue donkey

A quarter of the day has passed and I still haven’t fed my snake

Duffel bridge

Earning brain cells by the bucket load

The duck that was never born

Warped alsation

Stubborn summers

Gob full o’ gristle

Meat out, veg and gristle in

Chicken blister

Hugh’s regret

Eating out whatever else gets left

Ecstasy bucket

Unholy goat

Cecil the Worm

Bandit square bandit

Disabled horse

The last hoss in to

Lovesick ghost

Last hoss in town

Juggling bones

Club foot sandwich details have been deleted by Abused Siamese Wizard

…in the manure pit

Snorkel sausage

In the shadow of the donkey

The keys which unlock the graveyard

1. King Doom

We are the men

Spastic logic

Horse owl

Disposable dashboard

Sitting in church, eating a newt

Alsation domain

Digging the king’s grave with a plastic shovel

Expensive breakfast

Dead before arrival

Frog on the spade

Skull tax

Rabid attic

Offal house (donkey poetry)

Plate of bones

Baby cube

Man with no moustache

Sometimes they float like ghosts

Cancer broom

Frost-bitten nipples

Buffalo pipe

Candy claws

My new beard!

Electronic bogies

Spiritual beard

Wiping the king’s cheeks with a damp climax rag

Cupid’s climax

Drab cuckoo

Gas glass mask

The inquisitive horse

Public barf

Send me back to North Shore City, put a diamond in my sdtchell

Sugar tiger

Guilty fog

Chicken Russia

Bum flower

Man with a shopping trolley collecting up old tins

Hot posse

Dirt tribe

Gut ring batter

Donn and Trevor (birds)

Champagne bone

The idle worrier

Black Windsor

Midnight offal

Goldeneye lids

I am I am (a kiss on the lip)

Jocoise bones

Twisted apples

The hip hop producer was standing in the hospital with blood pouring out of his nose

My big baby (Juicy left-overs) ie. Meat pipe

Duck wizard

Butcher’s malaise

Christiopher Lloyd is a fish

Moustache pigs

Women’s bone

Dance to the death

Kiss the eyelids of the medussa

Under the Big Mouth

Juicy Tuesday

Deathly submarine ride

Holy submarine

Salutations to the glowing boys

…sometimes they bark like a dog

Traffic egg

The storm that changed our minds

Trying to guess the age of the batchelor from the back page notes written in the Pope’s diary

Cap parlour pong (onion)

Pu narcisscit down the pig pipe

Peppermint pervert

Golden bachelor

Do you like death?

Gotta stop dreaming about Lady Gaga

Lard in my infancy was (delightful)

Taking care of Disney fish

Romantic stubble

Here is my story-Indiana Jones vs M Thatchers (apple cider)

Apple cider (mobs)

We traded the amphibians for a big bag of pig cocks

Result-poo

Candian muffs

Harvesting the killers (v v v) the kill

Kid lady

Astronaut with fangs

Elvis fish

Gazing at homopaths

Leftover skin

The turtle trumpet

Bravery and gravy

Leper colon

Ghost spastic

Punched in the living rom

Belongs to the officer from the Lizard Chamber

Roasted bone

Pessimistic boner

Walking like a horse

Defunct nudity

Return to joyland

Gorilla sniffing

Morning wolf

Edge of stone (tropical wolf)

The edge of nothingess

Violent minestrone

Japanese chaps (looking thru peep-holes)

Wolf at the airport

Cucumber sport

A Team Banquet

Crunchy forest

Japanese, not weedy

Medical ditch

Take back the war

Sugar valve

THE Beano Whisperer

Do you like adult-orientated bananas?

Ectasy whistle

Move your pants to 1 side

I got jelly for ya, baby

Cuckoo spit parlour

Hot whistle

Glad for Pat

Absolution for veggie

Veggie hose

Litany-moon goose

Heavenly lobster

.

Enjoying sexual deviation on the last day of Easter

Perfumed transport café worker

My brain is itching

The sweet sunrise made us feel good

PUPPY ENGINE

AWOL BIRDS

Christopher Goblin and the giant toads

My way of sexing up reli

Fat Saturday

Virgin president

Perm it!

Disease of the week

Hippo Christmas

Stranded owl

Kitchen neck

Jubilee bingo (scrag ‘n’ middle)

Celery or sausage?

Making love to the stewardess at the roller disco derby

I am the Scottish wolf what you love

The wailing Douglas (green back)

Fried egg and clown make-up

Technically, she is still a ghost

Half-eaten biscuit trampled by a machine

Corpse in the wheelbarrow

Selfish carpet

My memory of duck boy

Kitten in the road

My sister goes to bed, a genius in her own head

Caesar and the bitch frogs

Island in the sky

Summer ghosts

CHIMP COCKTAIL

Give whiskey to a duck

Pouring out the sweat

Head full of ink

Brains on the pavement (smog board)

Truckload o’ skeletons

Baby brain wave

Mouldy harvest

Chicken courier

It’s because you are an idiot (in a shell)

Body apple

Pat Valerntine and the Good Heathens

Juicy Pingu

Lord of Summer Mash

Shine on like a bright monkey

Take away this cheese

The stiff booklet

Rubber beard

I like electric kittens

Disney Rascal

Sugar breath

Loose jubilee

Nirvana sheath

Elegant rubble

Stumbling through the backwarters of Louise County

Putrid dish!

Wolf flower

Harmless wolf (yeah right)

House crab

Leisure portions

Leisurely portions

The screaming whale

Pleasure portion

Don’t look up (fragrant wound)

Spider breast and harvest moonshine

Winter Rasta

Poppa Knuckle Croc

Coconut dodo

Future science – ship in the slime pit

Dead apparatus

Ape in the moon

Closet vampire

Book one:- 1980 was a good year

Poppa Dog and the Hot Jam Sisters

Hit in the future head with a mango

Chip and mango are Andrew Gilbert’s pals

Monkey must / monkey musk

Lip sting from chilli dog

Noise from the grave

Weekend grease / lip sting from spicey spunk

Greasy stoppage / sing for your death

Cat strip – Fiddling with strip gum

Dead head of Mormon

Homeless pigeon

Pidgeon English spoken in the bottom of the zone

The day they painted the cemetery gates pink

J Hawkins and the dead lovers

Sugar fist

1. gorilla chamber

2. old dogs sniffing around graveyards

3. dead sugar

4. sugar thunder

5. robo-ghost

advice on how to claim back your lost feet

Back to Bedroom

Doomed dinner – plastic face (can’t you go to bed on your own?)

Drinking kipper oil out of Orville’s dismembered beak

Invisible dream – thunder toad

Number one deletes number two

Who left that octopuss int the fridge?

Orange death

Lord of farting

Suddenly the fat man wants to eat fruit

Duncan is here – zebrahead

Luke Peacock and the High Level Baby Rats

Pink shower

Camp concentration

And then I smeared butter all over the corpse

Butter up the boys

Divison of fools

Shave your face before breakfast

Hand-me-down corpse

Magazine teeth

Walked thru the mud and shaved my face

God plus one

Inveterate submission

I knew butter was yellow

Hospital lobster

Naval context

Preparing for the apocalypse

Vagina stubble

GORGEOUS DRAGON

THEY DON’T PLAY THOSE EIGHT-BIT GAMES NO MORE

Cancer radish

How comes the butter boys don’t get fat?

Impending death of George Senior

Pecuniary thumb

Bone poetry (best bone poet in Africa)

Sugar dog at the erotic parlour

David Gilmour’s erotic circus

Bone theatre (classic roast)

A big bag of shuffling corndogs

Green pea hat

Wolf naked in the dirt

1993 – alligator waltz

Morbid muscles

..now I am a wolf

Cheurubic corpse

Her grave is just grass

Was it a skeleton who told you what bones are?

Broken down Mystery Wolf

Mummy is my father

Walnut butty

No KFC for you

Little gorilla – poet lesson 1 (surely basey)

Hong Kong visions

You boat!

Rainbow death squad

Furry women make me itch

Lose pandas

Seismic alleyway

I and the pie

High rise biscuits

Sam would have done things a little differently

Florid death

Stop looking at me with yer alligator eyes

Wanton pessimism

Next to ewe

Half price vulture

Rickshaw beauties

We danced on the ocean, we ate pickled onion sandwiches

Summer beard

Pocket bongo

The human waffle

We lifted up the blanket to reveal the face of Paul Simon

Can we kiss the arses?

Broken moustache

Metal brains

Gallery of grinning animals

Kings of New World

Historical blister

Smells like Bland Milk

Itchy hostages

Ambulate today (hostage sauce)

Pieces of cheese for hostages

Sauce on the map

Treasure Island disco put-down

Annabel put a wig on a skeleton and drew a picture of it

Felt tip trip

High on boob juice

Callous men-folk drinking up bamboo juice

She got mustard all over her lucky top / bongo juice

Daley Thompson and the hedgemen

Nobody wore moustaches before Daley Thompson

Ginger moustache facebook pages

Drinking pints of bitter with Lady Gaga’s father

Christmas species

Christmas shaven cat

My new Jesus

We used the leftover bones to make a nice fence

Guilty of Bikini Waxing

We put the remains of the Pink Panther on the griddle

Supper chomp

Adiabatic gristle

Horse Head museum

Sucking on Veronica’s disembodied eyeballs

Baseball skirt

Beaten up by a Mormon

Boring hospital

Buffalo month (sugar loaf)

Guilty rabbits

The day we took away the gold from the babies

Beatle skin

Bum flower

A kiss from a cvorpse

Much-lamented meat products

Freaky bingo

Bag of skulls for the janitor

Moon feast

Abandoned feast

Cardboard bathtub

The thump from inside

French hiss

Hulk Wogan

Pernicious picnic

Trouble troll

The rainbow boys spat out their turkey neck sandwiches in disgust

Deep-sea diva

Let’s get nasty!

Defunct turtle

Chubby chek-out

Check out Chubster

The bear with shampoo in his hair

Crispy disco

The punks are coming to dinner

Chinese tax year

Der der der is how the anthem goes

Dormant cat

This and them – Before the Rats

Ingest a ghost

Virtual doggy bag

Can of drugs

So I sketched the seaweed-covered skeleton and thought about Julia

Plastic comb-over

Sloppy-eyed gangsters eatin’ chicken wings

Greasy palms and swollen fists

Shining eyes of the Moon Dog

Vicar’s wrist

Mud flaps on a baby

Peter’s Cushion (Lemon Jeffries) / the lying cushion

Body scum and Cyclops eggs

A hand full of gravy

Inside my thoughts

Felching and Busting

Canine youth

Sticky ambulance

Nigerian stew

Chubby muff

Daliance with Angelic Upstart

Telephone bone

I saw Hat Harry

Men without moustaches

Men without moustaches don’t turn me on

I don’t find attractiveness is a big factor when choosing my boyfriends

Catmeat banquet legends of Warsaw

Fanny belt

Lost in the ocean

Spitting on a dog

Caramel monkey

Kinky mortuary

Pig finger

Testing the durabiltuy of the banana bridges

Meat-free dream

We do like those dogs with little faces

The advantage of knowing who you are

Skin on a donkey

w*nking styles of the future

Chicken wig

Taunting an onion

Japanese eyelids

A tin of puma for my supper

- puma in juice

Stomach butter

gut island farce

Rasta Bone

I’ve been eaten!!

Hister’s eclipse

Jazz fang

Coco channel

Apricot sock

The day mother went to war

Coconut spunk

Hairy Jessop

Arab paste

The new AIDS

Making love to ‘Bongorilla’

I have never been to Norway

Hairy dream

Gushing puss

Fur-lined skeleton

Making out with the kids with no eyebrows

Sweet helicopter

Fish blister

Skeletal chutney

Lunar moustache

Growing a moustache on xmas day

He lived on a diet of gumbo broth and pilchards and wet dreams

…she knocked over the fruit bowl and changed her cardigan for the eighth time

Living in a sewage pipe with the Ya Ya Birds

Sexy frosting

Sex frost, although not everyone can feel it

Luxury manure

Buying a dinousar

Shrunken trunk (god in the sky)

Holy soap

Her head was bigger than King Kong’s bell-end

Ginger finger

Box of bones for the big nosed saints

I bought my life from karate shop

Death of onion sauce

Jesus don’t need a boat (Siamese hand-job)

Sex wolf///////////

Burnt circus

Kids these days have no appreciasition of nonsenses poetry

Yank whippie

Chalk sandwich

Three years in B college

Interim chimp

blush

Covered in piano juice

Mobile witch doctor

Greaveyard eyebrows

Providence is in your sheep hand

Glimpse of the spastic

Spastic traffic

Jazz mask

Drinkin’ straight out the flask with your mates

Vicar’s bitch

Deserted eagle

Scouts and goats

Ghost of Ned Kelly

Haunted by freaks

Where has Mount Everest gone?

Insitinctive surgery

Horny morning

My fingers stink of smurfs

Caustic memories

The coconut bullock

Masked criminals make me horny

Losing your mind at the Teddy Boy Motel

Cinema wrist

Drab on da corner

Supping on lees

Thereis no more disturbing sight than animals wearing nappies

Living with life

Deportment of a scoundrel

Mazzy and the deaf boys

Nancy called Dave

My name is Mud, Mr Mud

Mint Eastman and the black rodents

Travels w/ mythical horse

Addicted to perversion

Panda buckle

Ghost in the rain

Electric gristle

Stop it (Sheffield hot spasm)

10 o’clock rap

Anti chirst on the billboard

Chunky eyeballs

Deranged spoon#

Stuckin sinside spiderman’s beard

I wish we could all live together in Californ-I-A

Addicted to nursing

Donkey gravy

Killer in stockings

Take her back to Bedlam

Goblin socks

Dandruff water

Watered-down piss

Chinese web

Half-eaten machine

Dead frog on the sofa

Dipping your fish fingers ino the bath tub

Ginger ditch

Sucking on a golden lolly

Finger police

AK47 is a tool, don’t you make me act like a silly old fool

AK47 chamber – terrier wolf goat

Having sex whislt cleaning my AK47 with a rag

Devil web

Thanks Alice, now give me some veggies

Thanks to the muscle

His revolving head putme off my stoke

Wonder women makes us feel softer

Dancing like a turnip

Dancin’ with Balloo

Cat machine-weapon of the feast

Baby is weapon

Taking tea with the elading jello manufacturers of our time

Owl goodbye

Station master with a direct hit

Life in your nostrils

Life is a thing that we once thought was made of stars

Acerbic – chutney showers

Some people want it all now

Fish perfume

Your dad is bigger than King Kong

Scarecrow bones

I heard Warhol at work

Sounding off w/ butterfly sonic abhoration

Butterfly bingo

We all hold hands (I knew this from computr school)

Invisible hand jobs

Falling in love at the cat festival

Battery RAM

Mongo and Judd

Controlled jelly

Jello made us feel good

Planets made of eggs

Zombie power lunch

A1 – festival of spped and other rec drugs

Concorde alley

Gorilla in a bath tub

Divinci coat

Falling out of love with Jesus

Mostly we make love

King Herod and the Batchelors

Dot Cotton Gay/Lesbian/Fish Stories

Wife of Gail Ramsey

Tricking celebrity animals into being your friend

Corpse breath (bantam weight fox boxer)

Welts on the weirdo

Weird supper

Ancient fist

Q- anyweher the frog goes the slime must follow

Fallow lands were our resting places

I dream of salt fish

Uglier weapons

Ramson note written on ancient parchment

Coke friend

Are you head? (woman get me in)

Brown back, white gut

Harmless picnic

Infantile premier (shrugged shoulders felt sore and heavy)

Boneyard xmas pipes

Thinkin’ ‘bout Harpo Marx and his curly hairstyle

Greeting santa with a punch in the beard

Mocking the fat clown

Daydream of a flying saucer landing in my crotch

King king kinky Bulgarian

Bitch BBBBBBBBBBBB

Girlfriend w/ ammo

What cloud you on?

Hairy spoon

Did you know: Lilt used to have heroin in it

DYY?.. tigers can walk backwards

DYWTK? 10p

Dolly and the Side-Partied Boyz

Gorilla with a lazy eye

Iris is my mum

Trinity wolf

Let’s see some tits

Harvest moonie

Lost and dead in Lagos

Freezing matter

Pony tail on a duck

Abo in the gorilla chamber

Bobby basic and the Simple Plan

Gorilla with eyeliner (on)

Watch the duck

Virus bike

Running to the graveyard

Salt tears go by

Winter ebard

Let’s dance with Moses

King of night B4

Seaman’s blanket / seaman’s banquet

Module prison

Get me-I ma king

Webb of piss

Defunct internet

Sometimes we lose the plot, don’t we?

Dodgy sock drawer

Tutrtle trumpet

Hairy disaster area

Area 51 blues

Buuter hawk

List 0001 – Stuart and Andrew’s layer cake

Cakes of the world

Swapping your top hat for a tin hat

Trading pegs for finger nails

Fingered corpse

Replacing Coronation Street with Mighty Boosh was a (bad) idea we had

We have beans—

Cancer trophy

Doctor Wolf

Pork and apples – P theatre

Urban theatre study club sex marathon part 1

Sherlock Home Boy and the naked Banker

Suicide witch

Falling in love with a pigeon fancier

Belong to the fraggle choir

Boarded up by Jellyman

Cross with the sorcerer

Making love to the theatre impressinao

Gulliver’s thump

Weir promise

You me sex qwu

Picutre of a witch

Boss-eyed kangaroo

My favorutie desire

Keyholes of England

Kinky semsta

Peanut wave

Wave of gobs

Tray of bones (lipstick for grease)

Grease for lipstick

Alligator valve

I have seen your boyfriend in the corner

Snot-nosed elephants

Gorilla with a trombone

Beast stew

My gloved hand in your mouth

Leather boat

Locusts in the cupboard

Weird bitch / weird batch

Captain Trufflehorn

Bullie’s fist

Easter panther

w*nker in the tube

Working with Judas

Living with bastards

Curious imp

Randy batter

Cucumber for fossil

Distressed puppy

Undertaker in ahewatwave

Joined up by delcious thinking

Kid sleep in a hole created by bomb

Pancake wolf

Grinning at the summer

What do you want for dinner these days?

Sniffing sweet dollar

A sotrm trooper walking down a lonely lane playing a flute

Spiderman and the mental witch doctors

The world is mainly made of cement

Lick your own lips, Big Daddy

Siamese trench

Colossal glue

Is it the same for us as it is for you?

When I go ridign my bike on the edge of the cliff

Hippo pimp

Slut on the walk-way

Buy me a brick, I am the man

Stitiching up the potential

A potential for torture

Bin bag soup

My rubber lover

Old old wet sponge

Goose no 000003

Egyptian eclipse

Do you lose friends too readily?

I am adventurer

Cousin Baloo and the trippy Gypsies

Sodden laxative

A beginner’s guide to selfish self-absorption

Experimental skyline

View from greasy spoon roof

Spoon feeding a cat – giving Tom Thumb a haircut

Haircutting for future babies

Tom Thumb and Scatto (catalogue)

French error

My life as a biscuit

Out with the towel babies

Julie on the moon

You know a lot abouit literature but ya don’t know bout f**king

My wizard

Circus imprint

Brung back with a oilfish

Gad fly and rogers

Board of foolish perverts

Excitable boy (action mag)

Spitting in the dark

Sulphur made us weep

Trading KFC for lobster

Girls in the nude in the hot sun

Playing mind games with your temporary lovers

Lack of sex brought on unnatural ability to predict football result

Grim waters

Ghosts of Whipsnade

Do elephants dream of over-grown mice?

I learn my new language at night-time

Heimlich quiff

The Royal Regis in my dream

Tiger lal

Paranormal juice

I am silver aniomal

Hello gorgeous- I am the time keeper

I dream of ym teddy bear in the night; keeps me warm, makes me feel right

..if darth vader was faggot

Orchestral dampness

Having dinner with a robot Cyclops (and chatting about ‘weather’)

If…the long way home w/ dino ferecnkels

Stop maki

Sucking on a witch’s tit at 3am

Posters on the wall and babies in the bath

Tiny babies get stuck under my finger naisl

Tom Mills is w woodpecker (he is awlwya pecking at wood)

Gruesome teeth

Ok I admit it..i am a beats

Oh f**k it I admit it I am male

Sexual antics of a buffalo

Child speak – if spiderman was a God would he still need to wear a donkey’s feather boa?

Museum of shit animals (like ‘lambs’)

Bones of the shuffling minstrel zombies

Ban the bong

Hanging out with a ruddy-faced gypsy

Pardon me-I am a fish

New romantic cylcops

Courageous tooth

Building skulls

The energy

Is this ball bag syrup?

Waieter..do you have a heart?

Please ik future

Muzzle the bird for it is a dragon

Sex Spice Girl

Chutney blossom

Bomb the Kings

Pencil my eyebrows on before I meet the Queen

Love Queen (I love you, Queen)

Queen of the ships

Poppa Rokcy and the Mind Meddlers

Mind-medallion

I have golden eyes in my head

Pacman is my hero

Death of a killer

Vanishing wolf act 001

Hands-free death

verity

Gordon’s grin

Loneliness of the infant silver android

Exceptions Stencil

Charming the kebabs out of the trees

Gassed android

Drum at the bottom of the ocean

Forgotten drum

The drummer was made of plastic

Persian drums

Asian filling

The dust that’s ettled on the cadaver

Texting the Gladiators

Turnip juice

Shadow rocker

Prok shadow

Rockers in the ehatwave

Coming all over a lego village made by a disabled Jack-Sparrow

Jack Sparrow and the doomed youth

The doomed vinegar

This stylish army

Armistice is called off – now punch yourself

Hit me like you did when we had it

Someone left cream cheese all over his wheel chair

Seriously..i am Phillip

Last time we made love I cried

He smokes bitches

The brave dum (thanks Futre)

Thanks to the future you aer brave

Courier gums

Gang sex

Gang sex

Monogany begins at home

Dancing with Jefferson Helicopter

Captain Beautiful and the rave kettle

Lettuce eaters are still boring

Savante – who will detest themselves

Gorilla fingers

Big butch wig

(x) I never did like that clown

Wolf with a manss face

My God is stronger than your God

Empty your sack into the make-shift bucket

Lemaington grass

Sister of wolf

Sex with a llama

Glad rag

Hospital moustache

Purple veins

High drama with infant stencil

Getting w*nked off by a two-eyed gipsy

Gyp Gyp H Birds

Sex clock

Cowboy on the moon

Wash your face in the dirty river

fatiguble

Sex blim

The foxes idea of sobriety is not the same as ours

King of the thump

A swan flew into ym dream and I drew a picture of him

Big muscles and tiny cocks

Bee cloud

Is it inhumane to spray a ghost with deodorant?

False wolf – grandma’s snack time

Big eyed pulses from under the gravestones

Slapping your lover with a monkey hand

Slap me..i am alive like a cartoon duck

I wear a burkka and I eat pizza

Minging for England

Wearing my tank top inside out

Default birth

Creased like an old cardigan

The handsome bastard

Butter wolf

Better worn days

Cardigan wearers unite

Cerebral sheep dog

Pert luxury

Sniffing your fingers after fingering an old woman

Bath-time for dead frog

His breath smelt of poo at tea time

Terrier eating a spanner

w*nking for xmas

Butterfly bones

Englishr rag?

Wake up and eat my bone

I will not go straight o bed-I will shave off my beard

I will curry a sheep and then talk to the stars

Maths is my friend

I’m having sex with you tonight..and you are going to watch

Rhino out of Star Wars

Warts on the lobster

If you ain’t got no pillow, use an otter (they are comfortable)

Mexican itch

Twitiching like a dead man

Grassed up by Caveman Joseph

Brevity at home

Ska tissue

Deadman’s grin

Bird shit island

Ladies day on the moon

Old ship of rattts

Yakka / elimanted from glory war

Ozone layer cake

Bad man ona hill loo kdown on his potential victims

Ciarus clutch

Absinthe on your mind

Tractor boy instructions

Ding dong puppy

Strong heck

Oh momma there is a catepilalr up my arse

I smell yellow fever

Ghost ok, drop..

My father was a duck (1. harris.)

Death of Bible-Ray

Milk House Boys 03 Kent Brusiers 22

Black felt tip top

Green harassment

The blonde aeroplane were covered in Harris’

Green ahrrasment of Phillip

Catching meat in the area

Free emat zone

I Beach Boy

Losing line (workers)

Go jhome ET

He was mumbling something about ‘code 6’

Sex nag

Ghost in robes

Hacking into the mind of a computerised walrus

Walnut Wagon video centre

The bible is my lover

I am Knuckle Man

Disabled spectre

Greasy rats

TV Eye 4

Chubby anorexic (fo you, Michael)

My Biog Lover

Kids dipping their fingers in chutney and telling rude jokes to their scholars

I hate walls

Green grease

Nostril cancer

Doubt it, he is a faggot

Making love to a horse’s nostril

Pencil specc

Harris maps

Time to go to death beds

Silent sludge

A satisfying smile upon sight of your bounty

Gorilla with loose change in her pocket

Jacket sntub

Grease warden (or was that greasy warden?)

Time to dance, Phyllis

Kinky bugle

Armpit priest

Jack’s wobble board (yankee)

Big lady tramping around the mud fields

Tramp 2001

Your’re a cheat, you’re bad and you’re mine (baby)

Noyish otter

Christina in rubber

Christian nostrils

Bath time for fascist

Deatjh up, around etc the dinner tables

Plastic harness

The baby cobra and the new father

Psychology / I been on the moon for days and is till don’t eally like it

Giving birth to demons

Sock on the dog food

Foot grenade

Dead bandstand

Plum puss

TRAID SOUP

Victual

Zooming around the graveyard on my red scooter

HIPPO GLUE

POOR TUBBS

Father of earth smile

Smiling at the cloud(s)

Iron your face, Ian Anderson

Bring me flowers and don’t eat them fiorst

Career in Maelstrom avoidance (FTF)

Hot o make an anti-pasti

Bring me owls from Gambia

You wanted the Nothing (RE )

Veg piss

Monkey egg and the chicken orchestra

Sunshine and the criminal matrix

Snake look good

Counting your knuckles

Banned from eaerth

The time it took to tell a lie to Jesus

Talentless horse

Cobra vs hoss

Inside the New Age

Addles on chutney

Blankey w*nk

Blanket w*nk

Popeye do keep on masticating in bed

Bedroom scissors

Cunny pipes

Grand Wolf with Lady Muck

Trousers off for Rabbitds Day

Morning w*nk

Butterfly armpit

The sunshine started raining

Boiled futures

It’s looking more like a dentists everyday

Cant see the trees as there are big people standing in front of them

Victual cotequish

Chicken pistol

Last days of harry Juniper

surmise

Opera dogs

Ladies love ghost

PERFUMED JOURNALIST

We don’t live in Wrong Town

Pulp radish

Siamese kids in the Box Room

Tactile admission / knee-deep in wardrobes

Tactful cups

Hospital waltz

The hollow teeth

Staff grand

Childish boxer

Champagne eyelids

Walnuts over Whipsnade (desert boxc

Trivial incision

Purple clowns?

Sand in yur mouth

Hospital turnover

The same day as mouth ulcer

He sulked for nigh on a month cos his butter wasn’t soft

Courageous peelings

The drifting corpse

100 rattle snakes and a big-nosed porn queen

Ugly ulterior motif

Grand spastic

My pussy is enormous (IB)

Priest with high cheek-bones (vulgar piss)

Dead aunt in the jungle

ITV is a piece of dog muck

Ships full of King Kongs

Horny cow

Starfish in the wind

Ameliorate the bible

Mink piss made us feel good

Etymologist in the shit storm

Kinky finger

Childish bones

Two pork chops per person

Adult tropical hangover

Mouth peace

Life with the lions (chapter x – forget me now)

Toady and Fromage frais Franklyn

OBE piss

DEATH OF TORTURE

From 1981 we came

Superman has a beard

Grrr..i’m bearded man

Men in water

ONE TON OF SOUP

Welcome to Nigerian rasta

The rats that we eat / the rats we cannot abide

Solemn goat - cast off *

Geek mandrill

The way we stroked our chins indicated we were deep in thought

Bungled chords (hear his voice)

He will return (later)

Machines of Manna

Fanciful husbandry

Lizard-man can’t get laid

His bulging eyes were off-putting to the scottish

The benny Hill orchestra

Killing veggies

Vegetarian gland

White Slade of Emu Goblin, Lithuania

Dead at the Steak House

Death in Venus

Nanny jack

Xmas nipple

Clamped onto the side of a ghostly building

Touching a vicar’s dimple for luck

Cheese shapes

Shave the cheese

The king’s artichoke

Choking the corpse

Umbrella for Jesus w/ Roy Moses

Hot spastic

Exceptions Stencil

Arse meat

Ask me to dance and I will deep-fry your mind

Mindless obstacles

Shaving Egyptians

Horrific theatre club

Starving bookies

Gorilla with golden hat

Wizards of sex

Do yo uenjoy sex life?

Hex life

We like fingering animals

Deformed duck

Urbane fox

Foxy bulldog

Beef and onion pie won’t make ‘em change their minds

Cycling to Mars

The forgetful luantic

Swashbuckling corpses

TAMBOURINE GLAND

Barry Bruce and the white zombies

Zombie flesh eaters made us look at death in a different light

Royal flash

Royal fish

Fish and metal

Eat my tropical whistle

Arboreal – oxforsdshire detah iw ent to Wisbech

Gr voodoo sailor

Gutless stomach

Cowboy genes

Gr part 2

Strictly ginger

Gay bang off

Gay banger

Egotism appellation

Muddled fish

She is not in the boiled rooms

Boiled egg for T Dog

Shiney monkey

Poppa got a brand new skelton

Inside the damaged mind of a loser

Loss of apricot

Guilty tar monkey

If we take out the men – egytpian sunset

Dormant lodger

Winter prince

Mistaken for Nancy

Damp cardigan

Seismic sht

Torpid buffaslo (aren’t they all?0

Turbid futures

Adage

Momma, I spiked my own drink

You kept the monkey in the house and your kids in the cage

His body bag was packed with pancake mix

Watching the unadventurous porno with Duncan and Rod

I would kiss you, but I have a mouthful of chilli

Fe in love with a bloke from a dream I had the other week

My computer keyboard was covered in fish heads and Boots catalogues

The man with two bodies

You eon’t make him flal in love with you by giving him cold stew

Egyptian lips

Tantric honesty

The city is too dirt to live in

Kissed by spdierman

We could not decided if it was a crow or a coconut

Sex biscuit

Sex I am good

Sad boy in a castle.

Search for f**ki egg

Wikipedia stomp

Pagan gravy

Righteous calf

Pagan whistle stop

Pagan truffles

P(cover him up with leaf and hospital staff)

Defunct hospital

She lsot her twat at the r. party

Helping yerself to w*nk mags

Zone for Keith.

Nick’s holocaust

Old baby stew

Lovely wagon

Wayne Phoenix is my nest

My gayness sis my energy

My life tatsed like Him

Stem stencil

Pigs in heat

Wave of piglet

Banjo salmon

Big eyed mucky kids

Twat fascia

Humiliated by sexual cravings for a goose

Nightmare stomp

Standing with Mr Briggs

Neighbour’s pussy

Sucing on a bee

Sucking chests

Future of fish – (ha ha) (eyebrows dipped in salad dressing)

Cunnie juice lemonade mix

Lemon frammi

Butney of chucket

Chutney bucket

The last man standing will be the first one to leave

Silent lobster

Secret source

Disturbed yogurt

Curly car parks

Better than the whistling gland

Umbrella fist

Fish whistle

Bone chasers

My girl has an honest skull

The robot of yer dreams

She had half a finger missing but that did not stop her being a computer game addict

Lost boxer

The shire horse wuz rotting in hoss hell

Badger with fingers like a mans

Kidney whistle

Badger’s mask

Cats forgetting they are cats – DT

Out (diving to the bottom of the ocean with The cats)

Struck in in in

w*nking into a handbag that used to belong to Maggie Thatcher

Rankin’ Rankin

Bubble trumpet

Burst w*nk

Creamed purple lips

Spawn of the Godzz

I’m quite picky about gravy

Gravy love chest

Cream bassoon

A ton of Labradors

Lab door (pussy on the shelf)

Bingo twat

Horses’ lovely grin

Giant sambo and the particular goodies

Frightened of

Inclement corpse

Hard boiled Joseph and or long-fingerd G

Pissed on top of a big mountain

The jolly cyclone

Cloud in the city

Butcher’s jaw

They are not 1980’s left-overs

Sweet emu

Cancelled dog

Lilly-white tits

Organ dominator

Plastic ability (SA)

Godless harvest

Arse harvest

Apparel of JJ

Horse snot

Swatting away the shuffling Jesus

Pig egg

The dinosaur line

Lineage of fools

Greater than Egg Kid

Skeleton egg

Skeletal pig

Gossp with The Stones

Rolling around theatre-land

Landing crabs in the nee world

Ginger passages

Ginger / green (swab)

Perfumed punk

Poppa domination

Web stinger

I am the sister of God

The evil eyebrow

Mistaken identity – white spirit

White spirit vs Lizard Egg

God is my bling

Spiderman is a f**king fraud

Watching the banzoos

Men stuck in Lego land with no chance of a beer

Fags make me itch

Live rin Brum

The butterfly orchestra

Take off your cap and stick your fists in the goo

f**ked in on Cannabis island

978424 yeah (boiled egg) 9

9

revery

Beautiful backwater

Love is the connector tissue

Sneezing out yer brains on the last day of lent

Training for the biggest match

Dog in the attic

Baby chong and the two-tier emat-snakaz

Buzing around the space station

Sitting in the aprk with broken ribs..chatting to no-one..

Down Wilson Pickett street

Last lost abloon

Tied to the abko f ahorse / tied to the back of an iron horse

Walnut for Wisnton

The se x is the sex I want for my birthday

Sending dogs into space

Rubber dirge

Inside the gospel

Backwardfs glint (harvest festival)

Curried future

Goals we couldn’t wait to reach

La Windows

Oh yeah I am the sports man

Forest in hell

Panda in the fireplace

Curious bing bing

Bongo tonic

Fat battery

Broken meats

The game we could not play

Igloo biscuit

Fuzz is fuzz

BBC 3 ice ice

Leather-clad index finger

f**kin’ Nitrate

Goose thump

Frozen wedding ring

Chamber of eyes

The man was looking straight through the screen

Jade’s promise- the Mexican blood flower

Promise of a waltz

Careful with that finger

Secven boiled goat’s heads and a naked belly dancer who used to be a guy

Ranking badger

Out of the promisuiscis sioup

Dirty old mercury valve

Café on the edge

How am I supposed to turn puirple?

Real-life hammerings

Volley of eggs

Shit stains on the hummingbird

Personal Key Jesus

Silver surfers are faggotz

Gorilla with a tiny little willy

Bummer casket

We coated the corpse inetimed island (in the sun)

CUMIN’ DOWN WITH PINK THUMB SYNDROME

BIG THICK PONYTAIL ON A YOUNG TEEN

The vulgar saint

TV is a myth

Tv veg

Spiderman is a gypsy]

Big beans for Jesus

Ok, we go now

Bryan Smithsons and the rubber childrens

Web of rubber

The day they took the coconut bodies out

A-Train babies

Bones inside other people’s bodies

Give your clown a doomed bone

Dead echo

Before ghost beacame ghost

Aids to steve

Windsor trout

Men sitting inside fish tanks

Moon smiley

Casket blues

I failed to see the fish

You can you can be infant

Greased palm trees

Garlic bones

And now/// Camden

Filch fuis

Fish patter

Talking bacjkwards to the king

Are you capable of B?

Whi would have thought a horse could draw?

Drawing of a horse barking into a mormon’s face

Crossing swords with the ex-master

DRUNK SCORPION (CX)

Cv – c Sex CCCC

CCCC CCCC Sex

Siamese twin porno how

Harvest cripple

Harv

Feasting on gone-off meat in the cathedral of veg

Big bulbous nosed herrings

Pissed off and waiting for Life to Start (witch doctor)

The pink society

Stirring blood with a devil’s chew toy

Belial dog in the monkey frost house

They killed him, but his gun was plastic

Cadboard feast

The day the liars went to bed

Philipino trick or treaters

Sucking on sex

Garlic promiscuity

Banging on the sex drum

Teasing my step-mom

Will you rise the walnut wagon?

Sex is a wolf

My bent boyfreidn

Lover’s rust

He is Cuban, but ya would not know it from listening to him or looking at him

The train was full of totally naked girls

Meat plastic meat

Take take the quail egg to bed

Sleeping with the

I’m not a quail egg

Love me, I am ME

Spiderman; what is the point of you having a shave?

I had a rave-free weekend, and I feel like SHIT

Waltz with Neil Buchanan

Scouse hot pipes

Abused by a mean that bares a strinking resemblance to U Fester

Pagan’s choice

You’re fat because you eat too much vegtables

Eyebrow voucher

Lincolnshire dolimant

Semantics of a lobster pot

Promulgate your life certificate

Joi / Norman .. why? I am

Him?

Milk- white eyebrows

Him UU

Sausage tamer

Deep fried faggot

I love to spend time with faggots

I like to screw women and men too

Bi-sexual preist

Guess what/

Asking for forgivness at the cat Opera

Society of fools running rings round a gang of bummers

Bumming the futurist

Pissed on life

Video congo

We watched a video depicting

Leftover bones in| Shrewsbury

The carefree walk

Sometimes I feel envious of big-faced boys

Dusty ganja

King Kobra’s haunted drugs

Fossil pipes

Throwing cobs to the lions

Perfumed moon

Cher is the 8080

Predator 8080bearded atheist

Clinic piss

Homeless bone

Roamn v Christian Anderson III

Wet empire

Waving your figners at the rotund batchelor

I like lying in bed and smoking cigars

Fat batchelor

Snoggin’ mary magdal

Pumpkin dump

The child that never culd understand the point of Christmas

Pohone clal from Jah

Cleaning my catamite’s teeth at 9.14am

Salty kidney

The district that bled

Hercules and Broke-Eye

Kink in the atmosphere (pinao regency)

Oscillating like a whirling dervish

Phone-sex let-down

Bumming-bird

Callous joinery

Bespoke nose

Pecadiloe club

Kangaroo fudge

Yanka hand jo

Creamy dream

Clown on wheels

Drug squab

The inside of the gum shield

Bearded dragoon

Lothario biscuit

Hammered doubts

MALT PLUS GRISTLE

Leamington Spa is your vegetables

Junk pet

Aslepp in the amsh tun

Original gravity

Big old mash-up

Hiss like Snake King

Ok, I know you Queen

Under the bogg

Erotuic voodoo belonging to Mr F

Ghandi’s nails

Pessimist in the voodoo houses

…a swift wrestle and then back to bed

Courageous moron

Let’s stare at buildings (getting mugged from behind)

Silk walnut

Funny faced slapper

Slapped in the background

Circumcised ghost

Big-fisted lover

The jail that couldn’t hold Si

Guy in the house (pink)

Edict o’ the gods

Blasted in tto the future (zoom)

Ok go (zoo)

She was coated in black feathers

N / underground liver

The sensational return of the good ol’ ghosts

Electric cassette orchestra

Bellowing like a screwed-up banshee / xmas sludge

Let’s dance, and then eat some sugar

If you ever get stuck inside a horse… (Norwich)

Addicted to human bones

The witch that couldn’t fly

Inside the mind of Starfish

The mirrir doesn’t know what day it is

Zippy and the light cheese munchers

Planets of slime

Ugandan hand-job

Christmas is on fire

Ok, I think it’s African Soil we miss

Slag/heel

Position of ‘vulture’

Di sex (Cuthbert’s Village)

Damdned and short

Pencils from heaven

They burst.. (zoom0

Zoom out (zoom in0

Bruised ghost

Inside a new spectrum (ghost)

Battling the river folks

Minstrel in the heatwave

Cold-hearted potato

Eye-liner at heaven’s door (with a breakfast steak)

Style Christ (stylish Christ)

Breakst knob

Love egg

I bet all my money ona dolphin

Circle necklace

Gift dfor paddy (Ireland)

Naked press-ups

Harridan bake-ff

Junk wurzel

Twat keith (ipsiwch)

Dinner wrecks

Ships to Fantasy Land

Bulldog clit island (Swansea)

Bellicose front-woman

J Lewis and the Vipers

Cold dinner served up on the back of a second class psotage stamp

A choc walrus?

Black Newton

Isaac Cragg and the ship matez

PSYCHIC ABSOLUTION

PUPPY FAT FOR LEPER

PLANETS MADE OF NOTHING BUT VINEGAR AND ONION

Noble destruction

A carpenter by any toher name

Gulliver’s first ghost (Ham)

Ladies called Dave

Empire circuit

The boss of Hogg Boy (Langston0

Hungry aboard the picnic ships

Picnic chips

One hour ‘till sun-down

Hair wash car

Jelly from heaven

Manners from heaven

Big eyed baby is king today

Coconut soup?

Try to fit the world in a hamster cage

Bunny Oliver and the chutney blades

Half-arsed species

Pot of shit

Holy

Hospital frock

Diseased twat

Caroline’s hiss

We are waiting volume o1- the automatic piss toll

Gorilla on time (for his shift)

Death of suburbia (madde up)

Missing pickle

Vegetables matter

Gorilla on time for his shift in the toilet roll factory / bread roll factory

An ocean of elephants

Circle of meat

Assistant wolf

Kenny ‘Cowburn’ Everett

Nasty gravy

Red gravy

Hammering the chumps (Pingu)

Porn stars of Norfolk

The dog hammer (Elvis P)

Claw claw (the claw)

Birth of Superman

The following statements do not matter (9.Ipswich)

Piano tuna

Pissed on water

Igloo glue (Nevada)

Village arse hole

(Filed mouse)

Heaven is a ship-wreck

Tomato jews

Crispy lecture

Bucket of pianos

Fat boys naked in a river (cottage cheese)

The Hertfordshire porn festival (HPF)

Cringe-worthy flip-flops

Timeless bandit (Star War)

Junk puppet theatre

Royal mouthful a grand of toes

The biggest thump in the known umni

Wax bag

Dump the ship meats

Rats of gravy

Perfumed pork

Memory manure

Possible- gorilla

Sheets of meat

Gorilla face-lift

December singe

Cuddling Bill gates and eating a fried egg

Sausage kink

Kinky ma

Dip the naked ladies in the soup

Frozen spicey gals

Cowboy rash

Gob poem (Nigel)

TV Death (oracle)

Are we not vinegar drinkers?

They don’t kill ‘em like they used to (King Onion)

King on the hill (centuries of war made us feel ‘out of breath’)

Healthy alphabet

The dead end of weird (Nevada)

Winged walrus (future of sport)

Arse of chrit

Murdered world

Arse of Chris

I dumped you cos you are very ugly

Arse Vader / Arse Invader

Big boys in sheds

Phonetic kink

Cats with too much skin

h

Lenny Grand and the London Time-Bombs

Sheldon’s revenge (Basingsoke)

Curious glimmer

Hot dump (language barrier)

Literary mumps

Bump the baby (ok go)

1980’s NME issued torn up for hamster bedding

Rhubarb stumble

Mac the wheeled demon (Gulliver)

Tongue soap

The future is rubber (it will eb)

Silent prism

Obstacle for gays (Ring0

Alan Shearer’s mouth

Hairy pancake (duffel)

Roger and B B

Pink Nick

Arbiter in the ghost rooms

Village twats (Kings)

Bill Gates at Eye level and a worm

Poison Oil (Oil)

Bad visions (Cune)

Idiot ditch

Yes, we loved them then (How)

How do you kill animals? (Piss)

Sperm doner kebab

Robert G – V Anger

Bone child (H Bird)

Normal worm

Gapology clinic (kitten’s breath)

Soup is better if you eat it

Diseased carousel

Idiot with a joy mouth

Killing the futures (pain)

Bob at the window, holding an empty tin can

Bleeding nostril (King)

King? (Sucking buildings)

Labrador rats

Harvest moon part eight (king)

King? (BB)

Mystery valve (heaping more misery on Tom Thumb-Cat)

Thumbing up the dandruff pickles (bollocks)

Jones and Harvester

Wonderful world of getting leathered

Beached volleyball competitors

Pecific idiots (dandruff sniff movies)

Thin morning

Basket regret

Sex tumbler (filth)

Stick chaps

Death of Honky Jakcson

Killed by River baby (Jed and Steve)

Recipe from the Bible

Bible mikle

Shoulder to be sick on (George)

Ginger Jewish lad

I am lady (cream Sunday)

We are andruff-coated lovers (felch)

Polio keys

Losing line (Karate Ancestor)

Ha ha here she is

William H Blake was a good pal o’ mine

Intriuign computer graphics made us look at the Back Yard Boys quite differently

Superb submarines

Morgue pin-ups

Back with the Karate Kids

Sometimes we simply melt away

Fat doctor

One day song cycle:- manners, good manners. Sex in the Fish Chop

Pickle sweet pickle of yer dream(s)

1. the crock of shit

gorilla grappling with a steak chef

alligator pose

pappy Franic sand the dog angels

sulking in the back yard

magic and creole medicines

cripple blister (ghost blister)

picnic hamster

stood by for the rain storms

werid owl sandwich

a nice display of vegetables on the sideboard

my miracle is my lover and I love her

I love the Beast

My name is Bruno Dreamhorn and I eat yer dreams

The sexual life of dead men

We are alive in the chamber of god

Toe jam and Foot Webb

Miracle incision

Snubbing the ghost

Fancy android

Sexy bottomless pitt

Sexy pirate (Johhnn Depp and the wounded salt pitchers)

Crippled jesure

The Revenge (and return of (Stockhausen))

Amazing graphics, Trevor

Peter is out

Offal academy

F(x) piss

Piss

Gary Barker and the E Takers

Taking the ()

Disco boner

Broken beard

Tom Thumb and the hairy cun()

Captain Retard

Dog cabbage

Well I can’t yeah (ring ring)

Telephone tramps

Lost climatge

Rcihard and the drunk flowers

Gonzo clouds

Django and the arse fairies

Sulphur ghost

Ghost rast

TaLENTLESS MEAT

LIVING WELL TEACHES US HOW TO FLY

BIG GRIN ON CAR SALESMAN’SFACE

POC-MARKED COP

DRAGON SLAYER AND HAIRT FISHMONGER

Caps odff (get it?)

Pistol wimp

Char-grilled ocopuss

Melting like a man in the boiling sun

Cop sausage

Want a drink? Drink me

Vaginal snuff

Sniffing pussy on the back seat o’ the bus

Frazzled rockers

Claudia’s eye

Big bang 2

Pancake strap

Little twat in a box

Nagging on twat

Shitting out rocks in the ocea of dreams

Gay horse

Sniffing petrol and cutting up good mags

Scissor pirest

The 40 foot dollar bill sign was very misleading

Sucking on some witche’s tits

King oflabradors

‘er outdoors

Bitche’s gland

Randy sheep

Big eared women from nrofolk

Up with dogs

Oscar darling and The tramps

Birth of future

Drawing 1 :- ghost

Pissed up in the water house

I happen to enjoy chaos

Torturing the androids

Android soup

..with sweaty vocal chords

Distant rumble of Link

Lincs Wray

Awkward dogs

Disturbed circus freaks

Talking with your mouthe mpty

Pissed under a horse

Do you drink hoss urine?

Cloud bastards

This jumper stinks of ship wrecks

Wrecked hump

Humping the Bastard

Doctor of Pop

Dead bend

Dead bend

Milk maths

Milk of death

Brick wall beard

Sherman’s 1st adventure

Crossed with a badger

Luxury ships

Fat basatrd and the soppy hand-job

Milking the insulter

Juggling bones

Swan bone hotel

Mixed sex

Mixed buggery

Sweet shop hex

One lipped man

Sexual salt

Banquet of bones

Fried up for Jesus.

Mesmerising glances

54 pickled onions (Leighton Buzzard)

Mustard glove (Leighton Buzzard)

Pen lid heart valve (Milton Keynes)

No Edmonds (Will Self’s front teeth)

Bike manure (Cardiff)

Bike harvest (Stevenage Borough Council)

Has a ghost ever kissed you in Kirkpatrboner

Welsh boner

Number lip

Second-hand storm

Fraggle boobs (Peter’s Head)

Defunct torso (Rotherham)

Surfing on a biscuit tin lid

Cat’s eyes (Wimple Town)

Mr P and Pirate shapes (Dagenham)

Buffet sweat

This is Cardiff (King Man)

King gal

Sweet chimney + sweet buffet

Armed ghost

Pick up the Bitter Ends (King’s Bridge)

Batchelor’s pancake

Austere brekast

Cabbie and Wolf Boy

Burn down your sugar house

We are two wheeled babies (Bi Pedal in Austria)

I put a curse on you…..cos you’re mine

Wind paper (wind)

Winding-down hour (Cathcart)

Cinema stubble (since 1920)

1920’ s voice box ghost

Ghosts are great

Two eyes-a-glowing

Knob spasm0

Morman ghost

DJ Harlow (London)

Vegetarian voice box

Sulphur bid (Winston)

Ok ok – boys in the ocean

Famous Anderson (rainbow drop-in centre)

All-gold witches

Bearded humming fool

Harry ‘jailBird’ Enfield

King of Henry (Wait on)

Sunny Gums / Sunny Gun (Portsmouth)

I’ll never make love to you tomorrow

Inside a little building (Mouse Haven)

Swimming thru goo (gold) cabbages

Ichael might get burnt

Summer in the shopping mall (Spent fore in Oldham0

Too kinky for heaven

After the sunset (pig eye island)

Death of Lady Killa (Hatfield)

GLAND SEX

GLAD TO BE ASEXUAL

Too romantic to be a bruiser (Cow’s Gate)

Wonderful web of deceipt and/or clandestine book-keeping (Oldham)

The Oldham Player’s League AKA OPL (Lemaington Spa)

Flowers of death

Man: look at this

Opublic barf

French banger

Sometimes they join hands with the other little children

Scared of ra

We offered the chief a plate of boens but he rejected them on the gropunds of ‘Not Wanting Them’

Cheerful preist

This preist what we allowed to save our putreid souls

Hobo landlord

I want my face to sniff myself

I want the faces of Norman to be wise

I am a mountie – I ride a horse and hit people with my nightstick

Goliath and Lil’ baby Boy

Hungry warp

Upright man of the J

Kiss the cloud

My dandruff beauty

She inside the moon

My big toe is a girl

Vegetable press

Kidney saddle

We remained staionary and then moved a little and then stood still

Perfumed lard

Monk in a Honda

Japanese monl

Peace on Earth and the conitiuing saga of Reece

Venerate the TV stars

TB whips

Wimp in the fields of shame

patsy

I met 42 perc ent of my wives in the ‘Big, Tall and Large’ section

Underwear cracker (White City)

The hostess with too many teeth (P)

Alex just got too excited

Tantric banquet

Matters of the eye (Wererwolf Castle)

Siler wolf

Silver wolf with golden eyelids

Parachute pancake (God’s own hands)

Wasted in the Saliva Orchard (Kent)

Big boned sailor

Under the seismic eruption

Abject spoonings

Terrible clips

Double wolr d(Ireland)

t

Yes!

Shampoo and bile all mixed together

Spewing pot

Gorilla in the (wizard shark)

Chutney on the mattress

Buttress Garlic

Cottage bongo

Silent like Lester

Pigs in the gravy pools

Wire harvest

Wet breath

Tiger tiger spaceman and Gravy Rape

Let’s suck eggs

Silent night in harry’s yard

Sex bottler

Let’s bottle Bethlehem

Dust ticket / crop dut

Magazine fart

Farting into 2001

Psychic butter

Semi-transparent Lucifer

Lucifer and Gary

Sonic blister

Apple clasp

Crap bingo

Having sex ‘to’ N-Dubz

I thought (and then I dreamt of Jungle Jack)

Harris and Sex Finger

Deserted bones

Screaming at heicopters

Wash yer tits in the ocean

Jester’s neck

Finger sniff

Sniffing fingers after taking dumpz

Charlie the superior

Camp Annie (blind man)

Gettt

Rolo’s Bones

Sugar-coated werewolf

Have you seen those pop-up dreams (under Truman Show)

Gift of mouth

The gifted gob

Hats off to Monster of great magnitude

Cheerful Cheeks and Jesus of Dresden

Speaking to the underground rats

Snakeaing off with Petal

Bongo mittens

Distressed by the call of the deatjh bird

Sugared lobster

Wise up chipmunk

Garage Music Half-Moon

Half moon (zoom)

Zooming in on the fannies

Greta and Gambo

Gambo?

Butter web

Hygiene wars

Return to thun der house – radishes falling from the celeing

Hob-knobbing with the Hob Goblin

Hot hot haslet

Blind corpse (lost in Florida)

Star Wars is a myth

Discount kidney

Mummified landlord

Twatish soup

Mythical greasy old cage-dweller

I live in a tree but I ain’t a bird

Sex – I forgot to let it out

I discovered a new star whislt listening to Countyr Classics Vol Sick

Sick spainard

Whispering biscuit

Telephone hex 2

Judicious

Unseen demons

WELCH

Butter web

Murdered butter

Sexual clinc

Clive Lob 2

Brick 2 brick 2

Deep fried perm

We made home inside an abandoned elephant carcass

Cus cus phillip

Deeper weave

Empty for Emerson

Night horse and bubble gun

Fleching da night away

I am armistice (Fry)

Xxx happy egg Monday egg

Are you my egg? Are you you?

Bible breakfast

We are nopt meat eaters

The devil knew you by your first name only

Chewy Tuesday

Heart of the batter

Mollify the beast

Blood-curdling screams of the puppet master

Deformed labourer

Salty shadow

Erm.. cow lick city

Rick and the salt meat

We decorated the cadaver with ostrich featherds and golden honey

I eat you and you eat me

Ostrich feathers bone

We smeared panther droppings all over the butcher’s best cuts

Doctor frog an’ da black pupz

Jesus was shit at making cabinets but he did have good hair

Audacious

Cubist haircut

I am BB Kings

Filthiest albatross

Numbers 01 to xx

Darker than Rod

Position of ball bag

Seismic lips

Dandy with the lip gloss

Beautiful gardens of the slaughter house

Snazziest horse in the box

Get out of the face Box

Gut box 3

Gut box 2

Let’s celebrate the detah of Harry Whistler

Kiddies in the filching pond

Caramel atlas

Barbarian waltz

Barbarian harvest

Tiger ‘n’ spastic dream combination

Tiger and village people

So mnay men

Teth out for summer

Carefree window shopper with a dragging copse

Horse medicine show

Showing off infront of the lad(ies)

Lads with big hands

Step ladder

Sisters in between

Sisters inbetween the brothers

The painted lady and the tonsil ghost

Crapper and crap-lottie

Lots of shit going inside a mouth

Yes I am – I love sex

Sexual legions

Boss troll

Pappy and Drongo vs the Light Feet

Drooling over established porn stars

Having sex behind a gravestone whilst licking your fingers and biting your toes

Romantic casket]

Why do some poepl insit ion turning the other cheek when lsitenign to hateful distribe

Diabetic singer

Grease lighting..i have got chills, and I have got a massive erection

Sitting on the back of the bus with the Windmill Kids

I missed the point of that last shock

Calamity clasp

Grasping the trinkets

Flesh of goose

Yellow headache

How do you eat food when your mouth is stuck together?

Piss is my histoy

Together with Mormon

Episode 6 – revenge of wheel

No0rman had a baby lamb..and he ate it

Uinternet death

English ghost

Frozen w*nker

w*nking for God

Petrol-coated hairpiece

Forget John Lemon

Jack, Jackson and Jackie

Feaful toe nails

Fear of Lamb Gosh

Ghost of a pie

Hard-on for croc

God is a disco diva

God is my passage..

A ghost wearing mittens

Classic faces

Do you love Pig?

The remains of felix (my nice boyfriend)

Lovely girls and sad-facdiwtches

Dreaming up new lines for the gay opera

Posh congo

P[issing up a dead tree

Morning congo (Labrador rat)

Gorgeous Josh

Gangster cancels the debt

Harmless wolf / disabled wolf

Yeah. 1980-1988

Altruism still does exist, Marvin

Yes! (1980-1989

Pug racket

Oraclepuss

Jazz trousers

Kept by a woman

Changing of the beard

Rough horse

Rough horse

Uncle Brussel

Beefy side parting

The longest DDDD

Sock sausage

Hungry alligator talking to a priest (but not eating him0

Gorilla changer

My business is snake charming, my hobby is underwater wrestling

Americna world (world of yank)

Yank obstacle

Zombie lard

Inside the lair of King Jameson

Fun with Knobs

High and warm love – with the bastards

Revolving around like DD BBBB

DDD BBB Tongues Tongues

Afro-clasp

They’re splitting off

Hairy Me

Funeral mash

Funereal feature

Feature of Fun.

The glare from down here

TV stars – empire ships!

Empire shps and doomed soothsayers

She kept hr bones in a see-thru bum bag

Fanny plaster

Plastic puss

Biscuit case

Tom Mills is sex dogs

Sex dogs?

We were one point off the top when Southgate got sacked, now we are two places off the bottom. Check out the name. This one made me chuckle. I read the letter I thought someone had mistyped it. Hopefully. It’s all bullshit man. I don’t like popel dick taking my dick and eating the leftover.s tom was a lover of the future but afraid of the present.

Do you want to borrow my packet of lunch biscuits as I no longer need them because they are meaty and I just became a vegtrain because I no longer desire to eat the flesh of poor little f**king rabbits.

Sullivan’s ghost

Lost puppy

Puppy taste good

You spent half the day boasting about how much shit you have

King of Jubilation

Moon bucket

Dinner with Ralph

New Idea:- forest of Doom and happiness

Providence of the Mancs

Wreckd fist

The fist got wrecked, so there

Lobbing rats at old-skool body-poppers

Careful with that hand grenade, Shauny

Clasping the riddles

Captain congo and the weird buffies

Gregarious chimps and little tiny nubile women

Jancie and the Lamp-Planters

Promising vaccum

Death to Krinch

Krinch Adams and the fear of fish!

The gringo bulletin

Diet corpse

Randy batch

Who is looking good today? Who is looking good in every way? I tell ya who.. it’s Mr Jag

Keanue and Vic Reeves in love

Ghost story – eating out with Jessie Harvester

Gorilla mistake (trick bag)

Born lovely

Insie an underground carriage on the way to Smallsville

Get outse

Rambo Bone

Chewy milestone

Comne isndie an dfeed the ducks

Get out I am a squaddie

Celtic manners

Hippo replacement

Gary and the trumpet turtle

Beatle Tin Scrag end

Middle of the toad

Baby burping.

Parent’ weheen

King of ok

Ok king

They do use alligator sperm as a moisturiser

Sixty fangs in your arm

Incisor soup

I met my future wife at the sex clinic

You are T (what?)

Fat king

Do ghosts get dandruff?

Rough-eyed nancy child

Cpwpby in the forest

His fingers stank of fried chicken and his eyelids were evry very droop[y

Dropsy still (still)

When the flat rain falls

Pinao collider

Thumbs you can’’t see

Naked buffalo

Back up at the bone farm

The sea is too big

Empire at the loser’s balls

Sniffling tiger

I shave the men then lick the greasy flesh

Its of blood all over the once spotless carpet

Carpet trainer

Oh dear, it is a mucky bucket

The man who listened to himself talking

Before the anal storm

Tooth bush

Brushing god’ s manky teeth

God had a manky teeth

Minni the Mook

We eat veg and we eat sex

Gloves on for Trouble Tot

DATA RAPE

Handbag blister

x—x—

ghost with no eyeballs

No one way no one

one ghost per human

ghost breath

porridge chops

kidney ream

kebab donation

poison leaf and mucky rice

rice muck

vermin banquet

love you like Sunday

Christmas pistol

Dreaded ‘handjob’

Weave the situation

Somnolent priest

Keith is a lover

Bitch cla

Don’t lease the lion / don’t teae the lion

The day Barry came back

Bearded trotter

Disabled wolf

Blood on the lunch card

A gay man in the naked chamber

Turned on by goat’s breath

Diseased headlice

Your sausage dog

Carpet bones

Carpet horse

Boney field

Pancake in the background

Arse troll

Creamy forgetfulness

Coriander flat share

Pissed on water

Cloud breast

Moon booze

Straighter than Kenny

Pissed on earth

Flight of the thumbless

A documentary about the fall of the sharp haggis kidz

Kids in the boat

The olws are just flying by

Owl jam

1970 owl

Holistic death

Back with the spurting minions

Arthur and the good ghost

PUSS IN THE OCEAN

DEAD MAN’S BURDEN

BUFFET CHIEF

Renal juices

Doctor in the abbatior (nor evival ehre, Tom thumb)

Gas mask ON!!

…like snot around a dead pig’s nose

Blood police pie

Bloody police pipes

Cadaver wrapped (in) a feather boa

Big snake moaning on a helicopter

Pilot francis

Orchestra for a ghost

The Ghost Orchestra

Dead man in the Phillipines

Pretty gals swap sex for bones

Smiths (hearts)

Smiths (sex)

The plastic Spam / plastic Sam

Gulliver’s mouth

Ulcer son the moon

Exstensive nose insurance

Bolder than a brass horse

God in the nude

Field of bones

Mexican stand-up

The distance to Wemble Wemble

Hey, Mutator!

The biggest laugh came when we dropped our pants

Sunday tastes like hot butter

Bongo marvel

The dream we never actually had

I want you to skin yourself

Eagle w/ eyebrows

White faced loon

Jungle ships

Graveyard satchel

Kinky boobs

Damaged bads

Requiem for Arthur Brown

Missed eyes

Eyeball pie

Humophrey and charles go to the movies

Irreversible madness

Five million ghosts were never born

Dandruff ship

The day they took the sun out o’ the sky

Heavenly moustache

Out with the sterile dogs

Dog in the situationist’s house

In love with your co-pilot

Master of absolution

A degree of neck acche is a good thing

Green faced leathery thing in the water

Kinky harvest

Half-eaten moustache

Dandruff in the flower beds

Lady beans

Olympian-sized hangover

Dirty rags and trollops in the sun houses

Summer rain tastes like piss

Spiderman riding a horse in the bottomless shit pit

Villagers smoking drugs and eating snacks

Medical crank

Baby lost in the thicket

Sweet smell of sulphur

I like you, you are you

No one is alive in Piss Island

There is always room on the cross

One more caged baby

Dead feast

A cauldron full of rotting veg

Veg war

War is stinking

Priest at the buffet

Laptop ships

Kings of arse Rape

Cod rummage

God rummaging around in his trouser pockets

Get out of the clasp, now

Getting noshed off by a cowboy called ‘Norman’

Oblong abnormalitites

Fictional bat-man

Queen was a bag inside another bag

Nobodies heel

Keith and the heels

Condomn on a dog

My vulgar wife

My big boxer

Cloud master in my porridge

Let’s eat clouds

Goth in the heatwave

Stupid people opposite me today

Candle graph

Lab cat

Hairy pencils

Cuthbert’s porridge eating conteast

Living inside an artifical mountain

With God behind my bottom

Eclipsed species

Men walking around a jungle like they own the place

Hair line (hare lane)

Rabbit worlds

(little victories))

Sun (sun)

Sun (sun0

Francis and the white gnomes

Franny McMoon and the earthy dingoes

Jazz feast

Mag Thasher antique tit

Spelling for insect gum

Gum gash

Gum for gash

Pessimistic hand-me-down

Gorilla skive

The curious life and times of Cuthbert Space

The diseased toothbrush

His head was attached only by a thin piece of elastic

Cuthbert’s soup

Dead end of MM

Snacking on dog

Kiss the pigs

Pig kissing

Gash eclipse

Purified gash

K I think you are so sexy

Psychic highway

Baby birds in the offal house

Cuthbert’s trump

Placing small trinkets on lenny Henry’s back

Grians of future

The wolf that couldn’t sit still

Acronym for ‘Fight in the bottom of the drawer’

Mistaken Keith

Wolf in a big woolly jump suit

A wolf sipping whisky in the background of a famous painting

Eclipsed by the Normans

Golf is silly

Blissful Ringo

The ring that changed her mind

CW – OK, I think it is time to pursue the God of Lipsticks

Mundane shit

Dirt is delicious

Treacle spasm

Doctor’s box

Clothes made of meat

Bone chamber

Bellicose pike

Chubby infants look so nice

Pool of horse / horse pool / Texan clap

Goal of the day – get a new moustache

Pickled whisper

Warts on a ghost

Goblins / meat free feast

Renaissance of Beat takeshi

Moomoo eclipse

Auteur in the glove box

Death at the ball game (it you you)

Death to Kream Boil

Boiled jazz

The brilliant worm

I am sure his name is Nick

Sugar sexual particles

Mounted by Mike Reid

Egyptian Fisting

Parlance of Eric mcPickle

Zulu internet

Xmas eve in the nancies dancehall

Don’t wipe your mouth on your best friend’s dress

Exchanging cuddles with the mormon butchers

A distinct lack of smiley girls

The rainbow that made you change your mind

Ritz Kaka

Jubilant ball

Honey laced partirdges

Spiderman has a sister and she is/was a ghost

Merlin’s handcakes

Hand-me-down flip flops for the gnarly matriarch

Lucky ghost

Bags of shit strewn about the car park

Cars driven by ghosts

Haunted a lot (by the ghost of Dizzy Gillespie)

You old hat wearing

The trigger is itchy

Wearing a missing jumper

Callous calls

Fidgeting under the duvet

One- pieces of o o o o – peacock slurp

Big tongued w*nker

The coconut Gibson and the leather-clad hod-carriers

Seismic piss

The leftover corpse

Underground biscuit

Hisbiscus frock

Dead frizz

It’s nice up North (if you are an otter)

School yard rash

Crashing intio the good future

Dick suckers

Taken off like a whippe

In love with a frog dentist

Calorie fag

Ok ok – Frasier I Krane and the good n ancies

Alice and the kitten addicts

TV is a shiney pice of crap

We met on Congo TV

Io IO ((

Big baby finger food

Gready worm

Forgotten pest

Let’s forget Nigel

Chinese eylids

Miracle claw

Mixing bubblegums

Numb bucket

Can we kill the Bounty Hunter?

Z like the waves coming across the deathly ocean

Hallowed chops

Beef eaterie

Can we sell our souls in exchange for dust?

Fashionsta’s fish / fashionista’s fist

Lesbian fist

Mogan the Green Passive

Turd burp

He used defunct motorized weapons – that is why he only came second

The second king o’ the morning

Husband’s head

Papl aeroplanes

The blues goose returns

Rainbow head charge

Cake aters unite

Office fag

The end of the beginning of the life and times of James Burkin

Eisenhowe rnad Elephant man go out for ‘hot sausage dogs’

Grappling with a chubby minor

Dirt face on the moon

1. all food is the poetry of leftover ideas

2. x x x x bungalow sperm

3. bungalow sperm (

space junk junket

fag fag fag fag (

elephant cakes

with the yellow kids on the powder wagon

Israel (chicken fist)

Fisting chickens

Surplus cowboys

Cowboy saliva

Spuit and shine island

The introverted kid blossoms on sports day

Hysterical corpse

Distance from lips

Upheaval

Virulent stars under dog forest

Dog trolley

(missing masters) missing hero

Steaming museums

Gulf in the s s s s s s

Monkey catchment area

Weird S Wood

School yard itch

Distinctive bummer

In love with the catamite

The indoor cottage

Superior beings eating out of their hands

A bowl-like haircut for junior

The preacher man nd the deformed dog meet one-eyed Jackie and the leather-clad super-cops

Dandruff melt-down

Kangaroo prism

Queer earthworm

Forgot (happy salad)

Forgot my lunch box but remembered my cufflinks

Disturbed peacock in the back room

Dead of death and remorselss w*nking

Come all pessimists, let’s write our bad ideas down into our jotter pads

Boney cobwebs

The shuttle took us all the way to Death World

Cowboys with no thumbs

The Shkaesperean death rattle

Harvest crumbs.

Socitalist in a fist fight

Rasta cowboy

Death to Porgy

Big breasted guv

Slap the helicopter

Slapper in a wheel barrow

Sucking on a meat lolly

Twiggy was a supermodel and/or a girl of mine

Pimp juices flowin’

Caged babies

Golden fleece

PINK PRESS RIOT – gay skinner

Funereal manners

Benny and the manner Mikes

Chunky vacuum

God, I am George.. I love your bones

I love lemon bone

Mucky map

Gordon’s high forehead was blocking out da sun

Monkey maps

Making love to the counterfeit marzipan salesman

Crazy hosses, boy

Boys in the shallow end

Lineker’s rifles

Yes yes Spanish pipes

Piping out the dance music

William Dog Face vs Dog Williams

Rainbow for rabbit

Chubby caretaker

The slightly mendacious linguist

Swollen fossil

Grandpa Stewart and the naked babies

Pork Elizabeth

Ring those death bells, bbay

Eating sweetcorn on the way home from the penultimate baseball match of the season

Death to Lobster Bor

Permanent apple

Lipstatse like fish

Fish fancier

Disco prison

Xx forgotten porno

Graphics in the water

Cattle drum

That is the freaking future

Freak of future

Cats in public spaces

Spaceman on the boat

Kinky fist

Diaretic castle

Harmless castle

Mistaken colon

We love the kettle chimps

Busy death squad

Busy cadaver

A JERSEY HORSE

Queer yearbook

Vulpine hammer

Tic tic

Oh who (oh who)

Healthy war

The life and lettuces of Richard Side-Salad

Wipping the corpses

Metallic breast

Midnite shrimps

Sexy super dogs

Hollister the sex magnet

Double trumpet

Legacy eggs

Time naked bold

King of dirt

Back door dog

Hungry corpse

Ship fetish

Cerebral butter

Forgotten harvest

Pink ninja

Prolix dogs

Dogs of bathos

Pessimistic subliminal messages

Man’s hankie

Cancerous vile

Pissed troll

Yobs of star wars

Vulgar trump

Trumping in the south

River shandy

African factory

They call him Lost James

Kinky batchelors

Inside the Bingo hall

Upgrading Walcott

Chinese chin of chimp

Sensational shiner

Beefy jerk

Shitty rainbow

Rainbow corpses

Hand-me-down kipper

Boxes of knickers washed up in a bizarre island (on)

Car necklace

Bryan Ferry and his furry love child

The fading auteur

Honey bear takes a break

Manure truffels

Legendary Cat Series

The vulture we couldn’t look at straight

New adventures in Harnessing

Docotr’s helicopter

Doctor’s beard

Torn biceps

Hippo flux

Dead rasp

Rasping corpse

Putative strikes on Royal carriage

Calypso world cup

Piceses of fantasy

Star wars is a myth

Your pacakge was wet, dogs are dry

Photo of a talking bird.

Nonsexual

Who wants the carpet ghosts?

Stange finger

The new building in space

Tickling the wimp

Burger faces

Brown ebar in the moon

Mosey on down to the bone chamber

Young blood chew

Grinning for muppet

Basement harvest

Trading moonlight for sunshine in the vegetrain hospital

Caramel horses

Platonic f**k

DJ Xmas Cake and the floded villages

Greengage heart warp

Warping the Smurfs Records

Cardboard cut out iof a fried egg

Jealous eeys of the Norman bandir

Sugar cube peach circus

Spider milk and gas bags

Garlic chicken for the leftover cats

Away with the arse fairies

Puddles of fluffly clouds

Doomed oracle

Elephant quiff

Tight remote villages in Hell

Beezelbug eyed monster

Diaretic w*nk

Cheerful pilgrims

Guns of summer

Shredded bones.

Hunter (powdered birds) of birds

Smokey mirrors

Busing in the creeps

Mendacious clergyman

Mendicant in heaven

Crabtree spiders

River mook

Derives from pudding basin

Hair war

We fired the sugar pistol into the dirt

Holy filth

God’s filth

Ignore the beast

Cucumber pipes

The day they took their faces off

Quiet giant

Crocodile locks

Knocked over by the giant earth worm

Salacious gossip for worms

Chaos rains!

Public burp

A jester by any other name

In love with the office grump

Grumpy bacon

Egg faces

Oh lord we feel just like haunch

Incomplete jungle

Spelling chest

[Filth-and-Splendour]

Whoever handed in my muddy must have been hard to spot in the dark of Arcadia wallet with over £150 notes in and my ticket, full oyster, 3 cards and driving license in. I cannot thank you enough. You saved my festival and I owe you a night out. X

[izcuje]

- having a great CT host who gave us glasto-virgins an awesome pitch and a bunch of walking sticks (we love you Lucy )

- great neighbours always telling us about what's going on and what to look for since day 1

- the awesome couple that pulled me out of my weird twister-ish position in 1am shangri-la mud when my friends ditched me

- the bloke who helped stop traffic long enough for me to pull out my wellie from post-chemical brothers mud while hopping around madly in the other wellie

- all the random theatrics at circus field that made me feel like staying there forever and ever

- everyone in fancy dress

[anoldhippie@60]

Maybe it was the spirit of W.W.J.D

[jimmyk83]

wasn't exactly an act of kindness, but i dished out 400 glowsticks at the chemicals brothers to get folk in the mood

[Spallerina]

On Saturday night during pulp I became rapidly wasted. I left my friends to dash to the loo, and of course couldn't get back to them. Some lovely people let me stick with them, and after that things get hazy but somehow found my way to the stone circle, where someone called my friend from my mobile and escorted me back to the silent disco where my friend was stuck with another drunkard from our party! I then somehow got separated from the group again, and proceeded to spend about 4 hours staggering up and down the railway tracks falling over and repeatedly being picked up by kind passers by. I eventually sobered up enough to realise where I was to find my way back to our tent, and am very grateful to all the kind souls who helped me!

[milkybar_kid]

I'd like to thank luciouslucy for the shirt and drying my clothes in her tent. Plus the space blanket to stop my tent leaking... Also lucyferr for the waterproof jacket (if u both pm me I can post the shirt n jacket back as realised I still have both lol ) ... All my stuff was so wet and u guys were amazing and helped me so much. Also massive thanks to andy (dave the rave) who provided copious amounts of tea and any other little bits we seemed to fond ourselves needing... And Mark for the margharitas (they were epic) ... Plus Sarah ( my twisted words) for basically taking me under her wing for my first glasto n well n truly keeping my spirits high... Don't think Iv ever laughed so much!! ... I know Sar had a steward catch her from falling that she def appreciated .... From my experience at glasto, Iv never met ppl more giving in my life and it was an honour n pleasure to b around u all ... Much love x

[Marmite Monster]

I want to say a huge thanks to the guy who pulled my wellies (with me in them) out of the mud ... He then got stuck himself and so did his mate helping him out! We all laughed though!