How can Glasto be improved in 2010?

[grandadcollective]

I was waiting for someone after coming out of the JP tent and mentioned to a fire marshall who walked up next to me that I thought that the level of smoking in the tent was a bit too much for comfort. Not a complaint mind, just sort of passing the time of day, with, OK a bit of constructuve criticism thrown in.

But I had hardly said anything before he launched into a lecture about how many people were dying in the world every second and that, by comparison, the risk to me was so minimal that.......etc etc. I had to endure a one sided rant from him until another marshall came over and told him to stop behaving like a **** and I was able to walk away! Won't try that one again!

[STEVEYBOY]

I would suggest they put basins or other drainage under the water taps.

So much water being wasted and creating more mud

[sifi]

I really think they need longer platforms/trains on the monorail to reduce congestion. Some of the crushes getting on/off were frankly dangerous, especially after Bruce Springsteen finished.

Either that or take crowd mitigation measures such as issuing people with a simple map showing how it is often quicker to walk from place to place rather than catch the monorail all the time.

[grandadcollective]

Interesting point.

I'd also like to see fewer Glasto-goers blantantly involved in extreme animal cruelty. There have been several occasssions on these boards where I've felt like calling the RSPCA - the continued flogging of dead horses sickens me

[ThomThomDrum]

5 Rationalise the site. The peel stage is too far out

[GingerRock]

less people

maybe back to 2005 levels of 120,000ish

the new john peel set up i didnt like

the bar on the hill used to be good

[mimis]

people who have serious adverse health effects from smoking should just equip themselves with a facemask thing instead of whingeing about it

cmon, its a festival, you know whats gonna happen.

[GingerRock]

Get the car-park marshalls up early on Monday, doing some re-directing where neccessary. We spent 2 hours not moving in E5 at 6:30 Monday. All it took was a marshal to open a gate in other corner of field, and wave people over, and we were out in 10 mins.

It's annoying when you know there's a way out, but you're forced to queue for no reason.

[mimis]

The festival policy is that all tents are non smoking.

[russycarps]

if you are pregnant and worried about it then you really shouldnt be going to festivals which can be rowdy and unhygenic places.

Having babies requires one to make sacrifices. Get used to it.

[mimis]

Oh dear, how ignorant are you..

[Billy09]

perhaps this should be how the festival is run in future....?

The Zen Stalinist Manifesto

Playing golf or being otherwise dull

with malice aforethought

watching TV for more than ten hours a week

discussing soap operas

(or any TV programmes or adverts

in the case of a stand-up comedian on stage)

and becoming obsessed with the work of

Quentin Tarantino

Damien Hirst

or William Burroughs

will become a criminal offence

punishable by five years' enforced participation

in a non-stop mime

juggling

and face painting workshop

in Slough.

The Berlin Wall will be rebuilt -

only five metres higher.

It will keep people out.

People like the World Bank

the International Monetary Fund

the Spice Girls

Price Waterhouse

Goldman Sachs

Jeffrey Archer

William Archer

Peter Mandelson

Helmut Kohl

and Boris Yeltsin.

Peter Lilley and Michael Portillo

will suffer immediate retrospective abortion.

In order to combat the increasing danger

to civilised society

posed by pig-ignorant

misogynistic

right-wing

testosterone-poisoned

road rage specialists

theme gulags will be introduced

for anyone who drives a van with scratches down the side

and shouts at or otherwise intimidates

lone women drivers at roundabouts

or buys shares in industries

which belonged to him in the first place.

These gulags will all be situated on Rockall

and will have three themes:

Saturday night in August on the Costa Del Sol

auction day at the used car emporium on Shoreham seafront

and happy hour in a Harlow theme pub.

All themes will run 24 hours a day

365 days a year

and inmates will be able to nominate their chosen

theme on arrival.

No theme changing will be allowed

but Clash albums

chess sets

and copies of 'The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists'

will be available for rehabilitation purposes.

Tight security will be enforced.

Theme gulags will be surrounded by large, deep moats

filled with soya milk and real ale

guarded by pitbullfrogs

and kept under constant surveillance

by hundreds of high court judges

watching from carefully constructed ivory towers.

Boris Yeltsin will finally be recognised

as the traitor and Judas he is

and made to spend the rest of his days

cleaning out the toilets

at the Glastonbury Festival.

With his tongue.

Every Western government leader

and the entire staff of the United Nations

will be forced to walk naked

through the burnt-out towns

and mass graves

in what used to be the Socialist Federation of Yugoslavia

and then have the words

'Marshall Tito was right'

tattooed on their foreheads.

A Zen Stalinist National Curriculum

will be introduced into schools.

Albanian

- both dialects, Gheg and Tosk -

will become compulsory as a foreign language.

Reading Geoffrey Archer

and supporting Crystal Palace

will become not just highly illegal

but indicative of a disturbed mental state

requiring instant frontal lobotomy.

The Alarm will reform.

All school students will have to attend morning assembly

and sing the new National Anthem:

'68 Guns' by The Alarm.

Mike Peters of The Alarm

will become the new Welsh football manager

with David Icke as his assistant.

The Royal Family

will be allowed to remain as figureheads

but will have to join The Alarm.

Billy Bragg will become next in line to the throne

and rhythm guitarist in The Alarm.

All game show hosts

and everyone who works for the Sun

and the Times Literary Supplement

will be shot.

Their executions will be videoed

an acid house soundtrack will be added

and huge week-long parties

known as 'graves'

will begin.

Ken Livingstone and his pet newt Dennis

will become Prime Minister

and Chancellor of the Exchequer.

All privatised industries will be renationalised

without compensation

and a huge TV and poster campaign will be launched

saying simply

'Tell Sid tough shit.'

The Queen will be privatised

and promoted to lead singer of The Alarm.

The first Zen Stalinist Five Year Plan

will be published

declaring world peace and social surrealism

and the dark nightmare of monetarist madness

will finally come to an end.

For ever.

© Attila The Stockbroker.

(more here)

[Storm_NL]

I know - my whole point is that this was not the case in practice & therefore is the sticking point.. preventing me going in future years to a festival I have enjoyed frequenting for the past 5. I cannot count the number of times I had to up and leave Cabaret - which I had counted on as being somewhere I could rely on as being smoke free.

As it is clear that certain selfish people are determined to ignore the ban (not saying that the ban is right or wrong here!) it seems only fair that there be a small area where people who really need it can just take some time out and not worry about encountering and having to move due to smoke.

[mimis]

You must be the unluckiest person on earth.

In all the time I spent in the tents, I only had one person light up next to me once.

Even then the smoke drifted upwards, and although I could smell it, it was no worse a whiff than some slightly more unhygienic folk around me.

I did actually see one person ask a smoker if they wouldn't mind putting out their cigarette, and the smoker obliged.

I'm not saying you're exaggerating, I'm just saying that you have been so incredibly unlucky, that you shouldn't consider buying any lottery tickets in the near future.

[Sam Crawley]

On the smoking topic...

[puppetmode]

I agree that you must have been umlucky with the smoking. Im not a fan of smoking and have never smoked myself. I had one person in the John Peel tent that insisted on smoking and then holding it to the side and behind her face as she didnt want smoke in her own face. bless her. But as Im 6'7" it just wafted up straight into my face. Luckily it only lasted a minute or two.

Other than that I didnt notice any other smoker in a tent. outside is fairplay.

[Storm_NL]

I agree that you must have been umlucky with the smoking. Im not a fan of smoking and have never smoked myself. I had one person in the John Peel tent that insisted on smoking and then holding it to the side and behind her face as she didnt want smoke in her own face. bless her. But as Im 6'7" it just wafted up straight into my face. Luckily it only lasted a minute or two.

Other than that I didnt notice any other smoker in a tent. outside is fairplay.

[Jackman]

This one is must!

"19. Get more small stage listings into the programmes. Where was the poetry and words tent line-up? Blazing Saddles? Departure Lounge? Even BBC Introducing! There are lots of good stages that would have been helped by inclusion, certainly in the main programme, and I'd hope the small booklet too, and it may draw people away from the main stages which seemed overly packed this year. Lose some of the nonsense in the booklets and include more stage line-ups!"

[venuss]

don't allow people to ride bikes

the works vehicles you can hear them coming, but bikes you can't

I never got hit, but I did come close to getting hit

[Sam Crawley]

Hello peeps, I haven't been on the boards for a while, actually having a job for a change, but I thought I'd stop by to let you know that I received a reply (below) in response to my huge email (see p8 of this thread) to Dick Vernon of the festival office, which is nice as I specifically told them I wasn't expecting a response - was just hoping some of the feedback was useful. As ever, for Glasto geeks the official debrief document is always a fascinating read, any signs of it yet?

--------------------

Hi Sam

Some interesting stuff – which reflects some of the content of my debrief document.

If you want to chat about any of it, please mail me your telephone number and I will give you a call back. (Best give times when it would be suitable for you as well.)

Thank you for your time and thoughts

Dick Vernon

Glastfestoffice

[crimsonking]

Need more flags, and space to put your collapsable chair, blanket and picnic basket.

Edited October 3, 2009 by crimsonking

[WS_Jack_III]

No flags at all, Spoils it for everyone.