Amusing Glastonbury Quotes

[port]

At the Glade, dark, dancing about in the mud. there was a broken light stick and the fluorescent liquid was glowing in the mud, me and my mate watched our other mate staring at it for a while, then he bent down, picked up a load of mud and a thin line of the glowing stuff and he then tapped a girl on the shoulder and asked her if she had dropped her necklace.... the look she gave him was brilliant...................then he was annoyed at us for letting him pick up the "radioactive shit."

[pmpants]

At the Glade, dark, dancing about in the mud. there was a broken light stick and the fluorescent liquid was glowing in the mud, me and my mate watched our other mate staring at it for a while, then he bent down, picked up a load of mud and a thin line of the glowing stuff and he then tapped a girl on the shoulder and asked her if she had dropped her necklace.... the look she gave him was brilliant...................then he was annoyed at us for letting him pick up the "radioactive shit."

[strudders]

At the Glade, dark, dancing about in the mud. there was a broken light stick and the fluorescent liquid was glowing in the mud, me and my mate watched our other mate staring at it for a while, then he bent down, picked up a load of mud and a thin line of the glowing stuff and he then tapped a girl on the shoulder and asked her if she had dropped her necklace.... the look she gave him was brilliant...................then he was annoyed at us for letting him pick up the "radioactive shit."

[kohoutec]

If we're talking embarrasing self quotes, mine would be a group of us heading off to watch Leftfield on the Other stage, I was more than a little, erm, worse for wear. We walked through the Glade and I loudly proclaimed something along the lines of "Bloody hell the other stage has got a lot smaller this year", when of course I was looking at the glade stage. Never lived that one down.

[verrymerry]

Walking infront of the "main stage" towards the food stalls last year, my friend asks "Where's the Pyramid Stage?" we point towards it, her reply, "I can't see it through that big pyramid! .... OH!!"

[TheBoyInTheBubble]

I remember a few years ago Mike Parry on Talksport being at Glastonbury at saying how much he was impressed by the bands on the Pyramid Stage "especially Purple Zone - they're even above the Pyramid Stage in the line up they're that good"

[honey_d]

Not from glastonbury.. but one of my all time favourite festival stories is from leechrum fest a few years back.

Leechrum is a wee festival in Ireland and is quite family orientated.. loads of kids running about.

My friend was busting to do a poo, but the toilets were overflowing and totally unusable.. after a while he couldnt take it anymore and ran out the back of the tents to a load of trees.. he did his business and was just zipping up his trousers having left a nice big parcel behind when he was confronted by about 5 kids shouting 'here mister, you found our den!!'

He had to tell them that they couldnt go in there anymore.. don't think he told them why though lol

Edited June 20, 2008 by honey_d

[someoldgit]

We'll never see the like of the Bollocks Heyday again....

RIP "Bollocks"

1994-1998

[Storm_NL]

Still the original and best, though. One cry of "Bollocks!!" identified every single Brit on campsite 1 at Lowlands last year, whilst campers of every other nationality looked on somewhat confused.

[Quinny]

quality thread, made my insomnia enjoyable this evening.

[longshanks]

One of our party was somewhat adverse to the toilet facilities. So being in the camper field I set up a port-a-loo for her. All week-end she used it (number ones only, cos the double dosing of imodioum sorted the other).

It was one of those loos where you clip the top off the bottom half to empty it. Well, she never asked how it was used, and did not realise you had to open the blade to let the "stuff" into the tank. As I split the two apart about 2 gallons of P**s went all over me and everything else. I was laughing (no, not a fetish), but due to the embarassment of her realising at nearly 40 she did not know how to use a toilet.

[Storm_NL]

Thought the thread could do with a bump due to the current miserable weather....

[markfell]

from 87 when we were young and mad.....

Mate "Struds!"

Struddrers "What"

Mate "You awake"

Strudders "Yes"

Mate "Someone has pooed outside our tents!"

Strudders "No.. Someone has pooed outside your tent"

and I sware it was not me!

Edited June 22, 2008 by markfell

[pmpants]

bump!

[Spacey]

I was in The Old Crone's cafe on the Monday morning in 2000. A steward started hammering in a post that was loose and everyone clapped along to the beat and cheered when he finished.

Edited June 22, 2008 by Spacey

[The Aardvark]

Came home about 5.30 one morning down pennards and found two 40 somthing ladies peering ata big white dome in among the tent s, and they asked us if it was really there...bless

[smudger]

last year whilst chopping up a few lines on a mirror, a 'mate' (i.e. me) stupidly was wearing a head lamp to do so, 'he'd' just laid down a razor blade next to three fat ones........when after a few minutes a shout from outside the tent said 'for f*cks sake turn that F*cking light out, it looks like there's a f*cking giant bat signal for coke heads on the side of your tent!

[gordy]

last year whilst chopping up a few lines on a mirror, a 'mate' (i.e. me) stupidly was wearing a head lamp to do so, 'he'd' just laid down a razor blade next to three fat ones........when after a few minutes a shout from outside the tent said 'for f*cks sake turn that F*cking light out, it looks like there's a f*cking giant bat signal for coke heads on the side of your tent!

[maurao]

First brought my son in 2000 when he was eight and we were on the top deck of a bus, as it came up & over the hill spread out in front of us was the fabulous view of all the tents " Look Mum" he says "Is that the Phillipines?.....

[Storm_NL]

Guy with an SLR camera is taking a photo of this other guy reclining in a hammock on the Jazzworld field:

Inquisitive girl : What kind of lens are you using?

Deadpan cameraman : Gay lens.

[beadfc]

Not strictly a quote, but very funny anyway. On Thursday, we decided to visit the Brothers bar and then sit around having a few drinks in front of the Jazz World stage. There were quite a few there, having a nice relaxing afternoon. Then 7 guys turned up, all in their mid 20's and wearing cricket whites. They then started a game of french cricket. Whenever someone would smack the ball into the crowd and a random person sitting down would catch it, they would all rush over and bundle on top of them and then insist that they were next in bat. Easily the most funny thing I have ever seen at Glastonbury. I hav a picture of my Dad being budled after catching it and it still makes me laugh out loud.

[Gerwin]

When we walked past about 3 blokes and we heard this ;

Man 1 'Lets go to the other stage'

Man 2 'What other stage'

Man 1 ' THE OTHER STAGE'

Laughed a while at that

[angelheaded hipster]

Funniest snippets of conversation that I can remember were one on Weds or Thurs when a guy walked past talking about having sex with a polar bear, and that was literally all I heard. Can't remember the exact quote now, but something along the lines of 'yeah, but it's not the same as f**king a polar bear'. I didn't hear a single word that came before or after which made it all the funnier.

Then a couple of girls, one of whom said 'yeah, I was at Jack Penate and a fight broke out at the front'. Don't know if it's that funny now, but made me laugh for about ten minutes at the time.

[morelego]

We seemed to walk past a lot people saying 'IT WAS MY FIRST TIME!!' in a really excited way, wonder what all these people experienced for the first time...

I love catching small bits of peoples conversations

[hughesey2]

Heard from a nearby tent, while leonard cohen was on the pyramid stage, 'Is he (Leonard Cohen) dead yet?' LOL

His view though - not mine