Amusing Glastonbury Quotes

[Storm_NL]

I remember there being a thread like this last year.

Unfortunately, I've forgotten most of mine.

However...

Give us all a giggle.

Add to this thread things that you've overheard in a festival environment that might tickle our special regions.

Starter for 5;

"10 quid for a pair of wellies?? That's daylight rubbery!" - heard near Other Stage, 2007.

[indiebar]

"Are you naked? Oh my god... WHAT'S THAT?!"

[DeclarationOfWar]

Ahhh shit is this glastonbury, ive gone to the wrong facking place

Not funny though =S

Edited June 17, 2008 by DeclarationOfWar

[kohoutec]

2005 - it's not going to rain, its f**king scorching

[Boltzmann Brain]

Some funny quotes from previous years threads...

Walking about down by the circus and by the side of a shop there was a big mud pool. someone put a sign up by it saying "Naked girlie mud wrestling pit""

[Alcatraz]

Only at Glastonbury i can hurl abuse at Children

Edited June 17, 2008 by Alcatraz

[Boltzmann Brain]

"Saw a funny thing in the wellie queue. A couple in front of me waiting patiently for 5 mins or so and steadily moving closer to the dish-out point, then....

Lad: "Are you needing to get wellies"?

Lady: "No"

Lad: "Oh"

Lady: "Are you needing wellies"?

Lad: "No"....

Lad: "Then why are we stood in the wellie queue"?

Lady: "I don't Know"

They left. Made me laugh for some time after."

[strudders]

from 87 when we were young and mad.....

Mate "Struds!"

Struddrers "What"

Mate "You awake"

Strudders "Yes"

Mate "Someone has pooed outside our tents!"

Strudders "No.. Someone has pooed outside your tent"

and I sware it was not me!

[Salt_On_Everything]

sitting in our tent, me at one side skinning up, a mate at the other side racking out lines, in the middle, another mate *totally* sparko.

till he rises upright, like Dracula from his coffin, to shout:

'Bashi! Get that f**king tricycle out of the tent!'

to this day he doesn't remember what made him say it. oh yeah, drugs...

[Blaze]

[Gerwin]

LMAO

Actually laughing here so much these are great

[deary]

not really funny but on monday morning whilst it was pissing down....still, it kind of fit.

'glastonbury your shit!'

shouted out across the site as if it could hear.....

[Krudler]

Can't remember what year it was, but we we wallking towards the Stone Circle about 3 in the morning, and there was a guy selling flares (the big candles, not the trousers), giving it the old "Flares, get your flares here."

My girlfriend shouted, "Lionel Blairs, get you Lionel Blairs here," as we walked past. There was silence for about 30 seconds until we heard the flares guy shout, muted by the distance, "Lionel Blairs, get your Lionel Blairs....yeh bastards."

Edited June 17, 2008 by Krudler

[greendotz]

There was a man up near the common ground café.

He had a remote control like with a telescopic aerial, like used for a remote control car.

He was following an empty Sainsburys bag, blowing in the breeze, twiddling the controls.

When the breeze would die down and the bag would stop, he'd look at the control, smack the side of it, wobble it a bit.

Then the breeze would come back, he'd nod his head, smile and head off again.

Also, he was wearing a diamond woolen tank top with nothing underneath and a pair of NHS glasses with no lenses.

[Ellie.84]

sitting in our tent, me at one side skinning up, a mate at the other side racking out lines, in the middle, another mate *totally* sparko.

till he rises upright, like Dracula from his coffin, to shout:

'Bashi! Get that f**king tricycle out of the tent!'

to this day he doesn't remember what made him say it. oh yeah, drugs...

[doggs]

QUOTE

"funniest thing i saw was in '98. it was the second year of mud and everywhere was covered in sh*t.

while walking from the pyramid to the other stage, we spotted a large circle of people all stood around apparently watching nothing. Of course being glastonbury, we decided to join in and see what could be so interesting. Just as we joined the group, a random passer-by strolled through the center of the group and disappeared up to their waist in a massive hole full of mud that was completely invisible to the eye. Everyone cheered, the person was pulled out, given a pringle crisp and sent on their way. and then the next person came along...

too funny."

I fell in that bloody hole, didn't get any pringles though

[dave the mighty]

lying in my tent at 5am in the morning

Stranger "Im shattered"

Me " i think you might have the wrong tent"

Stranger " Oh shit sorry"

Me "thats ok"

Stranger "bye"

Me "bye"

Never to see each other again, passing ships in the night

[lalala]

Some bloke wandering amongst the sellers ("Hash!", "trips!","larrrrrrfing gas!" does that still go on?) at silly o'clockin the morning shouting

"Baaaaad trips! Scarrrrrrrrrrry nightmares! Three for a pound! Scare your friends, scare your neighbours, baaaaaaaaad trips..."

And someone from inside a tent shouting out "There's sh*t all over it!" in a rather alarmed voice... I dread to think.

[shavenhaven]

funny after a few to much...

walking around the green fields (nearer glade) two guys walk past, obviously lost (scratching their heads, looking around holding a map - even though it was almost pitch black)

bloke1 "f**k, were are we"

bloke2 "that easy, we're deffo there" (pointing at the map)

bloke1 "where?"

bloke2 "the tipi field"

bloke1 "we past here ages ago"

bloke2 "yea, but look at all the tipi's" (absolutely no tents shaped like a tipi in sight!!)

bloke1 "wow, yea ok, we need to go that way" (pointing to the direction of LV/ tipi area)

[Storm_NL]

One of mine from last year - with a big "awwwww" factor..

Something I heard/saw, on the treacherous muddy slope path near the Pyramid...

A small girl of about 8, struggling to push a pushchair full of camping equipment up the path, through foot-deep mud.

"Don't worry Mummy... I'm almost there! I've been waiting 2 years for this!"

[lalala]

One of mine from last year - with a big "awwwww" factor..

[ivan]

A few years ago at the cider bus !

A young German lad or Swiss or Austrian perhaps , blonde with huge rucksack on his back says to man behind bar

in a strong German accent

"I cannot drink this , it is cloudy and has bits in "

[ivan]

OH and my mate Vic years back in the campervan field

"I need perfect silence to sleep , I can hear people chatting "

30 seconds later the fireworks and cheers went up !!!!!!

Dont think he slept a wink all weekend !!!!

[Salt_On_Everything]

talking of cheers, the shout of this year's Download was...

'BUTT-SCRAAATCHAAA!'

along with your usual assortment of timmys, bollocks, etc, et-f**king-cetra...

Edited June 17, 2008 by Salt_On_Everything

[Storm_NL]

talking of cheers, the shout of Download was...

'BUTT-SCRAAATCHAAA!'

along with your usual assortment of timmys, bollocks, etc, et-f**king-cetra...