I went to V and..

[staffsknot]

I went to V and saw a man in a basque, and heard some scousers shouting for "Dave", who knew where they could find Charlie, but it wasn't the type they were hoping for. I then came across a group of very muddy girls in tutus who said " we know where you can get some charlie!" But Charlie turned out to be a man in a tutu with an 8 ball and a banjo so we had to run, all except Bob who now walks like John Wayne. Suddenly, Seasick Steve magically appeared and banished the man in the tut with an 8 ball and banjo. Everyone was listening to the music and drinking Thunderbird, strictly Thunderbird and got the Hobo Low! Then along came Richard Branson who was looking for a worthy festival goer to win £1 million! The contest involved...... singing the greatest song in the world, tribute and then bringing him a brandy glass full of M&Ms at 2 in the morning. however charlie won this contest, and while delivering the m&ms in his tutu, he couldent stop himself. richard branson no longer owned something that was virgin.

Meanwhile... a drunken man stumbled his way towards main stage and bumped into Peter Kay who was selling GARLIC BREAD and it was spitting...and coughing having caught a chill because unlike clever campers it hadn't been wearing its long johns. Peter Kay was having a heated conversation with Lily Allen, who was following him towards the main stage, about . . . Lily Allen because that's all Lily Allen ever talks about. Peter Kay deduced from this that they must duel........With banjos. Suddenly Jack Black appeared! Whip crack went Lily Allen's tail and the beast was done because he really sang the greatest song in the world, having remembered it, not just a tribute - and with his mate Kyle they banished the devil - Lily Allen. Meanwhile Dave Grohl was backstage washing red paint off himself muttering something about being too nice to be the demon this time cause Lily Allen is more evil... Still he could console himself that the best song in the world was written by him!

So as I carried on walking i saw this shiney mysterious silver object hovering in the sky, it was a UFO, it slowly landed in front of the main stage and out walked Muse and they were surrounded by assassins and butterflies... however matt pulled out his guitar and stopped the assassins with a riff so greatly made it stunned them, while they were stunned dom proceeded to attack them with his drum sticks and chris smashed some skulls by swinging his bass around. suddenly another 3 men jump out, its dave grohl, jack black and his friend kyle! they are armed with instruments aswell!... Once the assasins were gone all 6 men took past in an irish jig. the jig carried on into the wee hours of the morning until the donkeys arrived! Upon closer inspection however the donkeys turned out to be 90's favourite 'the bluetones' in disguise, each carrying a green aadvark and wearing red smoking jackets and slippers, they then threw... up because the lesser known green aadvark is in fact poisonous if ingested and being a 90s band they had spent 3 hours licking it like certain South American frogs hoping for a near death high, instead they ended up with a Beirut unload in the portaloos and pleading with The Barenaked Ladies to lend them some toilet roll, but all they could find was a box full of kittens, so The Deftones had to.... Use there bare hands to do the wiping as nobody would soil a poor helpless kitten except.. Ossie Osbourne at this point was tearing the heads off bats... for lashes as they'd scoffed his brandy glass full of M&Ms! But left the yellow ones for Coldplays Chris Martin who had been trying to impress Lady Gaga with some beatboxin but.. suddenly from behind the velvet curtains stepped Tiny Tim and Rhys Ifans singing "Tulips from Amsterdam", unfortuantely the guy they hired to do the props was slightly deaf from all his roadie days and they were surrounded by turnips and Edam cheese...Rhys was in his element knocking up Welsh / Dutch Rarebit for everyone except Chris (it wasn't macrobiotic) and brewing some lovely turnip wine in the hope of getting Taylor Swift pissed and back to his tent to.... tell her that she should give up her spot for Seasick Steve who truely deserves it.

Meanwhile at the Indie Disco the DJ started playing 90s cheesy pop, Brandon Flowers appeared covered in UV paint and announced "....The Milky Bars are on me, but only if you lick all this UV paint off me!"..everyone having the munchies and desperate for some sugary snacks surrounded Mr Flowers, tongues a flappin', who started to sing.... Mr Brightside, occasionally going high pitched as someone licked his brightside, it didn't sound very good as a fat talentless idiot turned up - but eventually Chris Moyles was removed and humanely put to sleep with a lump hammer and a set of tent pegs.

[wave]

I went to V and saw a man in a basque, and heard some scousers shouting for "Dave", who knew where they could find Charlie, but it wasn't the type they were hoping for. I then came across a group of very muddy girls in tutus who said " we know where you can get some charlie!" But Charlie turned out to be a man in a tutu with an 8 ball and a banjo so we had to run, all except Bob who now walks like John Wayne. Suddenly, Seasick Steve magically appeared and banished the man in the tut with an 8 ball and banjo. Everyone was listening to the music and drinking Thunderbird, strictly Thunderbird and got the Hobo Low! Then along came Richard Branson who was looking for a worthy festival goer to win £1 million! The contest involved...... singing the greatest song in the world, tribute and then bringing him a brandy glass full of M&Ms at 2 in the morning. however charlie won this contest, and while delivering the m&ms in his tutu, he couldent stop himself. richard branson no longer owned something that was virgin.

Meanwhile... a drunken man stumbled his way towards main stage and bumped into Peter Kay who was selling GARLIC BREAD and it was spitting...and coughing having caught a chill because unlike clever campers it hadn't been wearing its long johns. Peter Kay was having a heated conversation with Lily Allen, who was following him towards the main stage, about . . . Lily Allen because that's all Lily Allen ever talks about. Peter Kay deduced from this that they must duel........With banjos. Suddenly Jack Black appeared! Whip crack went Lily Allen's tail and the beast was done because he really sang the greatest song in the world, having remembered it, not just a tribute - and with his mate Kyle they banished the devil - Lily Allen. Meanwhile Dave Grohl was backstage washing red paint off himself muttering something about being too nice to be the demon this time cause Lily Allen is more evil... Still he could console himself that the best song in the world was written by him!

So as I carried on walking i saw this shiney mysterious silver object hovering in the sky, it was a UFO, it slowly landed in front of the main stage and out walked Muse and they were surrounded by assassins and butterflies... however matt pulled out his guitar and stopped the assassins with a riff so greatly made it stunned them, while they were stunned dom proceeded to attack them with his drum sticks and chris smashed some skulls by swinging his bass around. suddenly another 3 men jump out, its dave grohl, jack black and his friend kyle! they are armed with instruments aswell!... Once the assasins were gone all 6 men took past in an irish jig. the jig carried on into the wee hours of the morning until the donkeys arrived! Upon closer inspection however the donkeys turned out to be 90's favourite 'the bluetones' in disguise, each carrying a green aadvark and wearing red smoking jackets and slippers, they then threw... up because the lesser known green aadvark is in fact poisonous if ingested and being a 90s band they had spent 3 hours licking it like certain South American frogs hoping for a near death high, instead they ended up with a Beirut unload in the portaloos and pleading with The Barenaked Ladies to lend them some toilet roll, but all they could find was a box full of kittens, so The Deftones had to.... Use there bare hands to do the wiping as nobody would soil a poor helpless kitten except.. Ossie Osbourne at this point was tearing the heads off bats... for lashes as they'd scoffed his brandy glass full of M&Ms! But left the yellow ones for Coldplays Chris Martin who had been trying to impress Lady Gaga with some beatboxin but.. suddenly from behind the velvet curtains stepped Tiny Tim and Rhys Ifans singing "Tulips from Amsterdam", unfortuantely the guy they hired to do the props was slightly deaf from all his roadie days and they were surrounded by turnips and Edam cheese...Rhys was in his element knocking up Welsh / Dutch Rarebit for everyone except Chris (it wasn't macrobiotic) and brewing some lovely turnip wine in the hope of getting Taylor Swift pissed and back to his tent to.... tell her that she should give up her spot for Seasick Steve who truely deserves it.

Meanwhile at the Indie Disco the DJ started playing 90s cheesy pop, Brandon Flowers appeared covered in UV paint and announced "....The Milky Bars are on me, but only if you lick all this UV paint off me!"..everyone having the munchies and desperate for some sugary snacks surrounded Mr Flowers, tongues a flappin', who started to sing.... Mr Brightside, occasionally going high pitched as someone licked his brightside, it didn't sound very good as a fat talentless idiot turned up - but eventually Chris Moyles was removed and humanely put to sleep with a lump hammer and a set of tent pegs....as Ian McCulloch arrived announcing that everyone should do the fandango on both of their wrists while sucking on an opal fruit in case the fat talentless idiot should come back to life and.........

Edited April 16, 2009 by wave

[amy246]

I went to V and saw a man in a basque, and heard some scousers shouting for "Dave", who knew where they could find Charlie, but it wasn't the type they were hoping for. I then came across a group of very muddy girls in tutus who said " we know where you can get some charlie!" But Charlie turned out to be a man in a tutu with an 8 ball and a banjo so we had to run, all except Bob who now walks like John Wayne. Suddenly, Seasick Steve magically appeared and banished the man in the tut with an 8 ball and banjo. Everyone was listening to the music and drinking Thunderbird, strictly Thunderbird and got the Hobo Low! Then along came Richard Branson who was looking for a worthy festival goer to win £1 million! The contest involved...... singing the greatest song in the world, tribute and then bringing him a brandy glass full of M&Ms at 2 in the morning. however charlie won this contest, and while delivering the m&ms in his tutu, he couldent stop himself. richard branson no longer owned something that was virgin.

Meanwhile... a drunken man stumbled his way towards main stage and bumped into Peter Kay who was selling GARLIC BREAD and it was spitting...and coughing having caught a chill because unlike clever campers it hadn't been wearing its long johns. Peter Kay was having a heated conversation with Lily Allen, who was following him towards the main stage, about . . . Lily Allen because that's all Lily Allen ever talks about. Peter Kay deduced from this that they must duel........With banjos. Suddenly Jack Black appeared! Whip crack went Lily Allen's tail and the beast was done because he really sang the greatest song in the world, having remembered it, not just a tribute - and with his mate Kyle they banished the devil - Lily Allen. Meanwhile Dave Grohl was backstage washing red paint off himself muttering something about being too nice to be the demon this time cause Lily Allen is more evil... Still he could console himself that the best song in the world was written by him!

So as I carried on walking i saw this shiney mysterious silver object hovering in the sky, it was a UFO, it slowly landed in front of the main stage and out walked Muse and they were surrounded by assassins and butterflies... however matt pulled out his guitar and stopped the assassins with a riff so greatly made it stunned them, while they were stunned dom proceeded to attack them with his drum sticks and chris smashed some skulls by swinging his bass around. suddenly another 3 men jump out, its dave grohl, jack black and his friend kyle! they are armed with instruments aswell!... Once the assasins were gone all 6 men took past in an irish jig. the jig carried on into the wee hours of the morning until the donkeys arrived! Upon closer inspection however the donkeys turned out to be 90's favourite 'the bluetones' in disguise, each carrying a green aadvark and wearing red smoking jackets and slippers, they then threw... up because the lesser known green aadvark is in fact poisonous if ingested and being a 90s band they had spent 3 hours licking it like certain South American frogs hoping for a near death high, instead they ended up with a Beirut unload in the portaloos and pleading with The Barenaked Ladies to lend them some toilet roll, but all they could find was a box full of kittens, so The Deftones had to.... Use there bare hands to do the wiping as nobody would soil a poor helpless kitten except.. Ossie Osbourne at this point was tearing the heads off bats... for lashes as they'd scoffed his brandy glass full of M&Ms! But left the yellow ones for Coldplays Chris Martin who had been trying to impress Lady Gaga with some beatboxin but.. suddenly from behind the velvet curtains stepped Tiny Tim and Rhys Ifans singing "Tulips from Amsterdam", unfortuantely the guy they hired to do the props was slightly deaf from all his roadie days and they were surrounded by turnips and Edam cheese...Rhys was in his element knocking up Welsh / Dutch Rarebit for everyone except Chris (it wasn't macrobiotic) and brewing some lovely turnip wine in the hope of getting Taylor Swift pissed and back to his tent to.... tell her that she should give up her spot for Seasick Steve who truely deserves it.

Meanwhile at the Indie Disco the DJ started playing 90s cheesy pop, Brandon Flowers appeared covered in UV paint and announced "....The Milky Bars are on me, but only if you lick all this UV paint off me!"..everyone having the munchies and desperate for some sugary snacks surrounded Mr Flowers, tongues a flappin', who started to sing.... Mr Brightside, occasionally going high pitched as someone licked his brightside, it didn't sound very good as a fat talentless idiot turned up - but eventually Chris Moyles was removed and humanely put to sleep with a lump hammer and a set of tent pegs....as Ian McCulloch arrived announcing that everyone should do the fandango on both of their wrists while sucking on an opal fruit in case the fat talentless idiot should come back to life and then dissapeared in a tardis like portaloo!

*bump!*