Flaminglippy

Joined Twitter. Decided being an annoying arsehole on just one on-line community doesn't cut it anymore

Currently shopping round for a tent. Really want an inflatable one but they're mad expensive and can't understand why. Surely as they don't have to provide poles they should be cheaper than traditional tents. Fresh air that you supply yourself must be cheaper than plastic and metal.

Best film ever

Happy Mondays headlining Godiva, free festival. 5th July.

Had another idea for an invention. Hopefully this one doesnt already exist. Its sort of a vacuum, but rather than dust and sweets and stuff...it sucks up sound. So if somebody starts talking you dont like...you turn it on and it sucks out their noise so you dont have to hear it. You could have preset frequencies, 'Mumford', 'Tim Westwood' etc so if it heard them it came on automatically. Whilst its very much in the early design stages ie I've drawn a little vacuum, I am happy to take orders.

I'm too old to be bouncing round like Tigger on acid at a festival line-up announcement...or so I thought

Thanks to Oscar Pistorious, the toilet at Reading Festival is now only the 2nd most dangerous place to go for a slash.

Happy 'Pre-Kendal line-up announcement' day everybody. Weirdly, not a date specifically shown in my Poundland diary. Thats what happens when you buy cheap shit.

Wish we could rearrange the days of the week...Saturday overtime would be a lot easier if it followed a Monday night and not a Friday.

"No I'm not dying but I am asthmatic, I was just being dramatic"

Kendal Calling announcement should be very soon. Got a really good bunch going already. If anybody else fancies an amazing weekend make sure you clear the morning they go on sale to make sure you get Emperors Fields tix sorted (no queues at the bogs and plenty of room). Really good atmosphere, great bunch of people, great beer...great music. Dont get any better than this!

Trying to decide how I feel about the Flaming Lips covering 'The Stone Roses' album in full. Could go both ways but based on recent output...doesnt bode well.

Hey New Street station guys! If I walk past platforms 1 to 11 to get to platform 12...I dont expect to get to where platform 12 would logically be only to get told its between platforms 6 and 7...I want Kings Norton not fucking Hogwarts you clueless dicks.

How on earth has my i-pod not copied across 'Skylon!' by Griff Rhys, but it did copy across 'When Its Raining' by Bitty McLean?? Although I have danced with Bitty McLean's dad...remember that Jason Robottom??

'What happens when you lose everything...you just start again, you start all over again'

If theres a pub in Britain that plays better music than the Hill I'd be amazed. All goes downhill when the DJ comes on mind

Oh, just in case anybody at work happened to look in the toilet bowl and see tagliatelli and thought 'Ooh Craig...you!'...I didn't put any in there...so you might need a trip to the doctors.

They haven't covered the 17.13 (Exp 17.48) Birmingham New St to Kings Norton on 'Great British Railway Journeys' yet. Can't wait to see that smug Tory shitbag Portillo take on my daily 'Its A Knockout' style challenge to try and get a seat amongst the prams and smackheads (although most of them get off in Northfield to be fair), and thats in the highly unlikely event the pissing thing even turns up. The cock.

Really gutted that I can't do The Wind-up Birds gig Friday. Can't afford to miss any overtime on Saturdays though.

I'm positive that when the Villa boss does the decent thing one of the tabloids will super impose his head on a picture of the Pearly King under the headline 'Lambert Walks'...

'Death wears a big hat because he's a big bloke'

Rewatching the Lord of The Rings. Still stunning...just wish Johnny Vegas had got the Sam part.

Somebody save us from train announcers with 'personalities'. This pillock thinks he's reading out the Oscar winners. 'And...(pause)...we are now approaching...(pause)...SELLY OAK!'. We know that numbnuts...its a train that travels the same route everyday (eventually).

Somebody remind me...what did people talk about on Facebook before we had a little bit snow...in the winter...which is when you expect it

Made a point of putting on my thickest t-shirt today...must be cold