Flaminglippy

fuck

Angry Birds...free to download on Google Chrome...ooh dear

I made a porn video with my girlfriend who is 6 feet tall and has profound hearing loss. It's my first movie in high deaf

Found out today how much 'fish stew' (which I'm planning on cooking tomorrow tonight) sounds like 'fist you' when said in a loud Brummy accent in a quiet office...

Was prevented from going on Mastermind for 4 reasons 1) I didn't go to Uni...2) I'm a thick twat 3) I don't wear glasses and 4) I've had sex with something that isn't a sock or a glass full of liver

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. AMBROSE BIERCE

Good to see Orange has gone completely to shit since their merger with T-Mobile...

My body-clock obviously doesnt understand the concept of a weekend...

How have I never watched The Inbetweeners before...unbelievable.

Thinks they should remake 'Friends With Benefits' in Liverpool but change the title to 'Friends On Benefits'

Has got more money than sense...which, if the authorities knew how skint I am, would probably lead to me being sectioned...

knows 'penalise' isn't a rude word...even though it definitely, definitely should be...

''If you can't beat them, don't join them, just post rumours on forums''