Yoghurt on a Stick
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Posts posted by Yoghurt on a Stick
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23 minutes ago, Mich1268 said:
This is a weird post but I would like to make it clear. I have not peed in my pants since I was 3 years old. It was a traumatic event at the time.
I have pissed myself twice as a fully grown adult. Both 'happenings' occurred when I was almost press ganged into driving around an OAP lady speed dealer. On both occasions I was, for a variety of reasons, unable to leave the car..
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56 minutes ago, Nuthugger said:
i find the best way to fight someone like that is by sneaking up on them while theyre asleep
Unfortunately i couldn't enact that plan as I had no idea that it was going to happen. I can't do violence anyway. it makes me want to throw up when I'm in its presence.
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1 hour ago, Ayrshire Chris said:
The danger is he gets faecal impaction, and I don’t mean the Michael Douglas film. Basically overdosing Imodium can cause serious health issues, if the longdrops give you the fear then a little drop of Vicks on the nose helps overcome the smell.
I thought that it might be an unwise thing to do. Then again he's an absolute monster for drugs, so looking after himself isn't exactly a priority.
I have another mate who can do Glastonbury without having a sh*t, or taking Imodium. He has his last dump in a motorway service station (he can time such things) on the way down to the festival (from Birmingham) and then releases the 'Mother Load' in another service station on the way back to Birmingham.
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1 hour ago, philipsteak said:
And I dread to think of the state of the first toilet he encounters on Monday after he's used it.
Like Reservoir Dogs, but with sh*t instead of blood, I should imagine.
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7 minutes ago, incident said:
To be fair, £4 is the "standard" price for a bar of Tony's, even at supermarkets. You can sometimes get them on offer at £2.50 or £3, but Oxfam probably aren't going to do that (especially not competition bars).
Thanks for the added information. I don't mind as it's for charity anyway. That said, I only bought the bar to get two people off efests a Glasto ticket, so may have to leave my chocolate purchases there for the moment.
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13 minutes ago, clarkete said:
It's those life experiences that turned me into the man I am today. Well I say man, more a broken down husk.
My next door neighbour's ex boyfriend (a true psychopathic) once came into my house as my wife was next door seeing his girlfriend for a chat.Anyway, this deranged man came into my house and started talking about 'how us men should stick together'. I responded with the line 'I'm not a man'. You should have seen his face when I said that. Obviously I am indeed a male of the species, but I don't consider myself a 'man'. Well, not a man like him. About a month later, he ended up lifting his girlfriend (our neighbour who owns the house next door) up off the floor by her throat. Her kids came screaming and crying into us at our house. And then I was given no option other than to rush out of the front door and confront this angry martial art black belt bloke. I did manage to do that. I diverted his anger and he let her go. Then he started on me. To cut a long story short I came out of it quite well, considering. Only a few bruises and he knocked one of my teeth out. Now, if he's considered a man, I want no part of being a man.
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12 minutes ago, clarkete said:
I spent several years being proud I could largely get through the fest without dropping the kids off at the pool, so to speak.
My method was simply low fibre diet, ie. Burgers, chips, pizza slice, pasties etc and don't drink water.
Yes, with hindsight it wasn't good and it did explain why I was always so drunk or baked.
I once went from the Wednesday to the Sunday evening without eating. I never even drank water. it was purely alcohol and drugs. By the time Sunday evening came along I was in a terrible psychological state. It is not an action that I would advise people to take. In fact, far from it. I now realise the importance of eating at a festival, as well as taking liquids other than alcohol on board.
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I've just come back from a trip into town. While there the Oxfam shop caught my eye, and I thought it must be fate. So, I went in and bought a bar. I had no idea that they were £3.99 a bar. Anyway, I didn't win. Boo hoo.
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16 minutes ago, balti-pie said:
right, i feel i've overshared now 🤠
I guess that's a 'load' off your mind - so to speak!
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Not directly related, but I have a friend who takes Imodium just before and during the festival, so that he doesn't have to go for a crap. Probably not the wisest thing to do health wise.
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57 minutes ago, Drfoxxx said:
We got this last year and worked a treat. Currently out of stock, but worth keeping an eye on.
https://www.diy.com/departments/garden-trolley-150kg/5063022022387_BQ.prdSimilar thing here, for less money. Not sure if the quality varies between the two;
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1 hour ago, clarkete said:
Hello, is that Record Breakers?
Dear Roy,
I've got this black plastic disk with a hole in the middle. Is this a record?
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Have an empty one of these in a backpack (add a funnel too if you are a woman*)
Fill it up with piss where you are standing (covering your parts with a spare jumper or some such), return it to your backpack, and empty in a long drop at a later date.
* A funnel may not be necessary. I know this because my wife can piss into a milk bottle with no spillage.
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This is not a recommendation, as I have no idea of the quality of the product. However, it 'may' do the job;
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59 minutes ago, wro_lap said:
Some guy pissed on my leg during Noel Gallagher in 2022.
That was nice of him to help take your mind off things at that moment in time.
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This might be useful for somebody living in or near the Cradley Heath area of the West Midlands
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This from Shangri'lart ;
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Yes, this is a real invention from 1925. American inventor Hugo Gernsback created this mask, called “the Isolator,” to increase productivity. The helmet was designed to block out all noise and sensations outside of a person’s work.
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That is indeed an excellent name for a Geordie act.
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Could it be that people are putting their wins on social media to monetise their win by getting 'hits? I don't know much about this area (which probably shows) but know from the media that 'influencers' get their money this way. It'd be easy to slightly re-glue a wrapper and then start filming yourself re-opening the chocolate bar.
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@ChemicalBrother - Just wishing you luck with this, your valiant campaign. 🙂
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1 hour ago, Doohickey said:
I was wondering what I could build out of them when the competition is over. I got as far as deciding hot glue maybe a way to join them, but I don't know what what form the arrangement should take.
You could build a tall top hat out of them. Contact Crazyfool01 (The Master) for guidance on how to construct.
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3 hours ago, cb4747 said:
I enter a lot of competitions 🤪
I do too (via Loquax).
The most expensive prize I won was a high end hand made garden table which sat 10 people and was about £3.5K to buy retail. I received the table when me and my wife were right skint. I sold it within the week on ebay for £650. It less than I had hoped (I was asking £850 for it) to get, but it sure did come in handy at the time.
I also entered a PG tips competition while drunk one evening. They had asked what the taste of PG Tips invoked for you. I had thought of putting in a proper entry and saying something like it tasted of nectar. However, a bit of naughtiness crept into me and what I actually wrote down was the word 'vomit'. The main prize was for a car, and the 2nd prize was a years supply of PG Tips. They gave me 2nd prize for my entry - which meant that they wanted me to vomit every day for a year. i guess they had the last laugh on that one. Mind you, I did give the years supply of vouchers to one of my brothers and a mate who were sharing a house and were also very skint at that time. Not only that, but the both of them were heavy tea drinkers - so it all panned out well in the end.
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11 minutes ago, lobo said:
It really is the most poorly organised Glastonbury competition. At least i enjoy a can of Brooklyn!
Yes, it's all very odd. You'd have thought that they would have just used the same successful format as last year - if it isn't broken, don't fix it, kind of thing. Maybe there was a cost element to making that still be a thing, and one which some budget holder had kittens thinking about.
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1 hour ago, lobo said:
No luck with brothers cider for me this weekend. I did finally get some Brooklyn in co-op but not confirmation of entry on receipt. Hopefully it worked 🤞
I haven't read the whole of this thread but somewhere got the impression that last year they gave confirmation, but that doesn't seem to be the case this year. That's a sh*t show, that is. Don't they 'know'!?
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