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About jacketspud

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  • Birthday 12/04/1970

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  1. Yes - We had decided we would give Glastonbury a miss this year - but the intention was to do at least a couple of others - not sure how that is going to pan out - we will see - I think my priorities have changed - yes Trudi sort of likes festivals and it has really helped her with dealing with noise and crowds but really she mostly liked them becase she missed a bit of school here and there - plus she is going to be at secondary come September and I dont want her skipping any school there if I can help it - having said that -2013 will be the last chance for her to be "free" at Glastonbury so I think we will have to do that one even if it means going on Friday. By that time she might be well into allsorts of music and begging? - maybe she will have a friend to come too - that would be Great - we shall see - so for now its a holiday to look forward to for us - my Brother moving to Barcelona to run a B & B Boat in the marina - should be nice and then a caravan hol no doubt later in the summer. I fear that maybe well and truly all we can stretch to - still a change is good as a rest - and a rest is good for a change? or something lke that ??? I did go through a bit of a downer since posting last- I am coming up I think ... I hope... its all a matter of state of mind - its amazing what you can tell yourself and believe lol - am I deceiving myself - well in the end of it who cares as long as we are happy! Health is pretty rubbish - but now the cold weather seems to be finally over - im aiming to jump back on and start back up! Another reason for not camping/ festivaling is we have 2 outfits now in our yard and both are in a sorry state - 1 i dont want to part with for sentimental reasons and the other I hate with a passion - a rapido folding caravan hate HATE H A T E !!- I want another Dandy a light blue one with matching awning -I dont mind it being a 5 berth (like our old one but Darren wants a 6 ! it doesnt really matter as long as its in good nic. Once we sort that out then Im sure the festy fever will take hold again. Will be strange to watch on TV this year and it will be a 2 year Break but Im thinking 2013 could be AMAzinG after a big gap - maybe we will go without Trudi - No i couldnt do that. Anyway there you go
  2. Everybody has him on their minds - everybody knew they would - its been a strange couple of months - Things like this can lay you bare / expose you if you are brave enough? You let it happen and hopefully get through it - I am not depressed and I am surprised at that but I also know that any time that old devil can sneak up on you and this is the time it tends to happen. Instead of getting him (Joel) a £20 in a xmas card as it would have been if he hadnt been taken from us - Instead im getting a picture plaque (of him) and im going up to where it happend and im going to glue it on a post and im going to put a daffodil bulb in the ground for him - I need somewhere to go - a physical place and maybe the spot where it happened isnt the best place/but maybe it is? but its the closest place to me - I know we could plant something in our garden and make a place to visit there but im not sure I want to be in this house forever and then it would be hard to know that it would not be anymore. So thats my plan if I get it in time before Christmas - its funny what with cremations and such there is sometimes no particular spot to go and im not sure if that is a good thing? - I remember going in my own good time to my Uncles grave when I was a young teenager and just sitting down there with him and I did feel connected. I want somewhere for Trudi and also Jack and his other siblings to be able to go - I know they are working on something but I cant wait too long myself I need somewhere now. Im impatient me. I have a present for his girlfriend who I dont really know that well - I just wanted to get her something from Joel sort of thing on his behalf. I always remember a Christmas decoration of my mums - one said "Joy" and one said "Noel" and they came apart and so we made "Joel" and it just came to my mind.Joel loved to read infact he remind me of my Brother in that respect - it is not one of my passions - I confess - I wish I liked books but for some reason or another they dont hold my attention. I do not read many non fiction books I perfer biographies - dont know why that is.. anyway I remember on that night seeing the book laid out that he was in the middle of "Hamlet" of all things! I have it on my ds so Im giving it ago - and im enjoying it - so thanks Joel! I really want to help my sister but I dont know how. I know she has a lot on her plate and with this happening has probably opened a can of worms - I really hope things do get better for her - things will never be the same again but I keep thinking things / relationships should only grow stronger from this - family despite all our flaws / differing personalities we have genes in common, memories and the family that we share our own little kingdoms that need to be expanded and not drawn in to our tiny 4 walls . To find people strengths / weaknesses and build upon try and make things stronger ready for the next one because as we know there always will be a next one (in the family) its just usually someone older but no time is ever a good time to lose someone special so we need to be strong - thats all I keep thinking about - Im still trying to gather everybody up and shed a bit of light - but it can be messy and it can be daunting - I feel better for explaining to Daryl about my guilt about not seeing them as much at home over the last few years - but of course they were becoming men - with their own groups of friends and of course they always had each other too - I just wanted him to know we are always here for him now 24/7 if he needs us - it was so nice to meet his friends - it made my Birthday having them come and stay over. Anyway a note about the "inner" kingdom - ( us 3 plus cat ) - Trudi is doing so well with the Diabetes - she sometimes surprises me in such a good way - I couldnt be more proud! Darren has been fantastic too with all this - I know how much this last few months has shaken his world. Like I say I am quietly proud of myself - I know Im doing quite well (for me) so I am giving myself a pat on the back but I think Joel has a part in all this and I feel there is definately a part of him with me now that has changed me a little bit and I hope forever. Youre Gorgeous Joel - inside and out man ! Youll be forever Young ..... forever with us x. Whos to reason with the Why - we just have to get on with the Now Shuang and family are coming to visit so I hope that goes well - im sure it will and then we can get Christmas out of the way lol and see what 2011 has in store for our little kingdom and country too ! ( just to say sorry for any sp mistakes the spell check has gone and walked where has it gone?)
  3. Well first can I give a little catch up we went to Glasto with daughter and friend and it went well ... I think - was tough in places but I much prefer having to deal with Heat than Mud/Rain . Trudi's little Chinese friend Shuang left us at the start of the summer holidays - She is back with her family and although its not perfect for them (at the moment anyway) I think it was best for us and Shuang. Trudi seemed to get increasingly uptight and it was going to ruin their friendship - Turns out that she was leading up to getting type 1 diabetes - we don't know exactly when her pancreas finally gave out but it was sometime after her 10th Birthday and her starting year 6. So we spent a few days in hospital her and I . When it happens to you ( a parent ) you cant imagine anything worse - I know the worse it can mean and I know the best it can be (my dad has had it since he was 14 without too much problem up till now) little did I know that a few weeks down the line we would be hit with even more shocking news that puts Trudi's getting diabetes into the bigger picture. Joel my second eldest Nephew who came to see Trudi in hospital just 2 weeks earlier was on the 13th October hit by a car whilst crossing a busy road to cycle home from his girlfriends house - It happened just up the road form us and the police called us that night - I went to my sister and she said I shouldn't see him she believed he was already gone and I hope/think she was right.. I never heard the extent of his injuries but they did try to do something with him even though he had just 1 percent chance of surviving ( and I don't mean living a full life) - I ended up going home to her little ones with Trudi in tow - I couldn't put her in his bed - it felt wrong so instead I put her on the couch. I waited and watched the last miner being pulled out . I wanted to believe in some hope but I did know that it would take more than that now - I knew it was just the waiting and finally it came and then I went to his room to the art work I had done for him - A gorrilaz painting - with a Joelz Cool badge on it and a manga cel I had got for him another time - his teenage messy bedroom that he shared with his 12 year old brother _ Empty - his Jacket hanging on his bed frame - I came out and waited for My Sister and Husband to come back - Then we all did that night - nobody really slept - My sister in his room, My daughter waking up to ask about him - hes gone I said hes borrowed the moon to get where he needed to go ( it was such a strange night sky that night - even strangers commented on this - but it could have been Steven Spielberg's fault!) to my relief/surprise she settled down with that news. We all waited for the morning to come and the little ones waking to have breakfast and go to nursery - I cant believe my sister drove ( I cant or I would have) and we waited while her husband got back home. Since then there has been all sorts of emotions - the funeral is over and its been a whole 2 weeks - I am happy its half term as it means my daughter is about with me - and mainly we have appreciated each other as we should. She had a really bad Friday as they broke up as her Head teacher tried to speak to her about going to the funeral - I should have known it would unsettle her after all we know her best so instead she says when coming home - "I don't like this world - its horrible - I want you to kill me! How can it take Joel and give me Diabetes?" - I had her insulin in my hand at the time (it was just before tea) and little does she realize how dangerous that stuff can be - I am so glad that I am doing her shots for her at the moment as it would be scary leaving such a job to her because she needs to know how serious this medicine is but I don't want to give her any ideas either! What i am also getting at is although the diabetes can shorten some peoples lives - she does still has a life to live and we need to make it as good as we can (without spoiling her too much!) and all being well there is hopefully no reason why it shouldn't last a long time. The whole thing just shakes you up - in good and bad ways - nobody know when there numbers up and to try and live life in a better way should only be a good thing? Yes we will still mess up - we are humans after all but I like to think Joel is all about us and looking out for us and bringing us through it all I hope> Love you and Ill look out for your brothers( and your sister) as best I can OK??
  4. jacketspud

    Whoo Hoo

    Having a Good time - Shuang our daughters little Chinese friend with us for the time being - mine having strops - am I cruel or what letting a playmate stay with us?? I am completely shattered but you only live once right? I think this sharing torture is good for mine but im doing my best to be fair to all parties! There is a chance that Shaung will come to Glastonbury with us this year . She doesnt like music or too much banging drums and likes too keep scrumtiously clean - Pilton shouldnt be a problem right?? I told her it's the best festival on Earth so .. ill keep you posted
  5. Hello Well it has been - (The lonely bit is a bit of an exaggeration but you always want to put a good title!) No I come out of my slumber round about now and I'm coming out ready for 2010 this time. The whole family is - we are still poor, have no car, just got a washing machine again finally - but none of this matters we are happier in our skins - we have detoxified from the "toxic" friends and I am of proud of my 9 year old (shes not perfect but we are working on it!) Any way without going into detail should be a good Easter and also really looking forward to Glastonbury - unfortunately probably are only festival this year again - But makes it even more special for being so. WILL BE KEEPING AN EYE ON EFESTIVALS NOW SO WATCH OUT!
  6. Hi there - We got our little guy done around 6/7 months and he was already being quite a romeo with my daughters soft toys! He was quite tiny thats why I left him a bit longer. Hope that helps!
  7. I have been having a pivotal day - Its funny my Chinese friends are on the move again (maybe to Wales) as its not worked out here due to a horrible man in the kitchen working with the Husband. So basically he has been very nasty - taking his money, blaming him, making him do all the work in the kitchen and probably even damaging what little property they own. My new friends are the salt of the earth - I don't see why or how some horrible people can be like this - I know power has a lot to do with it but I just don't get how the people doing it seem to have no regrets ever? Going along with my daughters story she has problems with this friend (not that I consider her that but) which is really upsetting me and now she has picked up an enemy too. My daughter is so soft - this kid is in the year below and is very cocky she has tripped her up since someone yelled that my daughter didn't like her - (which sort of was true but thats because she is very bossy and my daughter cant deal with that) and today she did it again (tripped her). Now its the end of school and I thought - if I don't go now I wont go (and the bully gets away with it) so I did go over to the parent and said look your daughter has tripped my daughter up twice this week and I explained why I thought she may have done it. Maybe the parent will speak to her and give her punishment? (I know thats what I would do if I ever found mine to do such a thing) maybe they don't but at least the kid knows I am on her case! Anyway they are being taught at school about passive, assertive, aggressive and it kind of struck me Are most people naturally passive or aggressive? - I start to think they are its like the do I fight or flight thing. I know I fall into the former one and sometimes when I lose it I might have a burst of the other! So there is a course that is run for bullied kids and because I can see where all this is heading and I know it worked well for my nephew so my daughter has sent off the form. Its weird my mum said you should tell her to kick her back but I don't see that as the way to go plus I know she wouldn't be able to do it and if she did it would be my daughter in trouble probably! She just needs to deal with things differently and not take out her pent up frustration on me! and I don't feel I always give her the best advice plus we always disagree so hearing it from someone else she may take it in and try it out. Heres to a good bank holiday weekend (we need it) taking her lovely friend Shuang on her first camping trip with us (don't think shes ready for Glastonbury yet!)
  8. jacketspud


    Really pleased with myself - I did camping in the cold and didn't get riggormortis! I wouldn't say it was the best night sleep - but I did get some and I was able to walk in the morning so I see it as a result. The Bearded Festival was great and laughter always helps - so thanks to my buddy we laughed all night and that seemed to help alot! I am trying to convert her - (she was a raver in her day) there is hope would be really good if she came to Glastonbury. I will leave the tent at home and stick with the Trailer tent because one night on a thin bit of foam was fun 2 might have been less so and 4 (I'm thinking not)
  9. Well i have made the decision not to go and see Jools Holland with other half as he needs to know in time to get someone to go with him - I am in no fit state to do it at the moment - it is so frustrating when this Fibromyalgia gets the better of me - I woke up feeling worse than I went to bed again today and I cant even sit for long hours let alone stand in one spot for 3! so i will have to forget about it - I cant even type today - every muscle and I mean every pretty much is in a locked up spasm - time to force the Doctor to let me try some different medication - I cant carry on like this. Especially when its the kids holidays and we are supposed to be having fun. for some reason she wont let me try amitriptyline (sp?)when its what my mum uses and many other sufferers use to good effect. Ive had this thing for over 12 years now and I still feel it rules me not the other way round. I do feel its taken away some of my best years and whats more frustrating is that most people just don't get it and you feel guilty about it -its shit.
  10. They are good. In my teenage years I kept a diary (or ramblings) of my angst - which I kept for a long time - I did right a couple of what I called "lyrics" now I seem to remember but I wouldn't be brave enough to write them down for public viewing! So well done you! - Also I have to say that I did throw away my diaries as they kind of brought me down when I re read them in later years - i didn't want to relive the torture! But I do still remember my lyrics but they were about people and not about me as such. Maybe you should send them off to see if anybody wants to publish any of them?
  11. Although she is the most important thing in the world to me she also gives me most of my worries - It is so weird to enter parenthood and to try and get everything right to do things different to the things that your parents did that you thought were not right and in doing so still coming up with problems? No ones a perfect parent and no ones a perfect kid. Some personalities are easier than others but both of them are tough jobs...(being a kid or a parent that is) I am resorting to go and visit the Doctor about my 'angel' in the hope of some guidance as I feel I am banging my head against a brick wall - with things ive tried to resolve her problems as I feel some of the issues need to be worked upon sooner rather than later - I have visions of terrible teenager years - That's when I started to be a problem - shes just started early. Anyway I am not expecting A Doctor to have all my answers either - we are all so complex its like trying to find a right formula sometimes that works and even that works for a bit and then it evolves and stops working and then you have to try and find something else. Anyway onwards we go.
  12. jacketspud


    Just to say things will get better - My sister is also pregnant again but not completely unplanned apparently but she sure knows how to put her body through it! When the new one comes in March she will have a newborn, and a 13 month old along with wait for it a 9 year old,15 and 17 year old- Granted the 2 bigger ones are pretty much taking care of themselves now but whoo - respect is all I can say (I only have the one 7 year old)
  13. Just found out that Reg Dwight is coming to our village - yes very Vicar of Dibley stuff. I almost want to get a ticket just to see to believe. The Good news is I hope Mercedes Benz world do more acts (that I want to see) it would be great to be able to walk to a venue and not have to worry about getting home/or travel far but it really is a shocker to me. This is the area that we used to kick about in when we were kids/ making camps and ropes down the race tracks to climb and get chased by security guards and now there is going to be music here from time to time .
  14. jacketspud

    + note

    Yes we are seeing the the wood - Darren has had a job offer and its through in black and white - money quite good, distance not bad, car allowance and they called him to see if he wanted a business trip to Rome for a few days in December - So things are looking up!! We were not going to cancel Christmas but we were going to dive into our last bit of savings and keep our fingers crossed for next year so this really is a bonus. I'm very proud of him. We may still have to get at the savings as he wont get paid till End of December/Jan if he starts on the 3rd but we are not complaining far from it. I have shed a bit of lard since going to Canada (not much but its a start) so I'm feeling better for that and started my Open University course too so that's a bit exciting. Oh and our little True is going to be Mary in the school play - something that I never thought id see - shes always got the tiniest part in all of the plays that shes done over the last 3 and a bit years so its really nice that she will get her moment I can see her beaming already and the good thing is she doesn't have to say a word so there will be no nerves. Not sure how many festivals that we will do this year as we have another expense looming (A wedding in Mexico in May!) but I do intend to do the hush hush one and Endorse it too if we can - only problem is we cant take advantage of any early bird offers not this close to Christmas but as I say not complaining just not used to holding back on this sort of stuff.
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