Chimps in Balaclavas

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking... And then I saw her face.

AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AVOID! AV...

SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER!SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER! SCAMMER!

I had just finished clearing away the barbecue when I saw on the news that researchers claim there is an alzheimers link to barbecues and fry-ups. What a load of nonesense! I couldn't watch the news for long though, I had a barbecue to get started.

Sometimes to impress Girls, I often use big words that I don't fully understand, in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.

Bought myself a limo yesterday, but it cost me so much I can't afford a driver.So I've spent all my money and I've got nothing to chauffeur it.

Typical, I made myself 4 hot drinks... then I dropped the coffee, spilt the espresso and lost the chocolate! ........ That's me down to a tea!

John Lennon would've loved online transactions... Imagine all the paypal!

Its national Jamaican hair day tomorrow... I'm dreading it!

Living in Surrey certainly has its Epsom Downs!

I hate it when I find a piece missing from a jigsaw, but love it when I find a piece missing from a jigsaw!