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Glastonbury "hacks" 2022


Cheesey
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I know there was a thread for this kind of thing back in 2019 that runs to 40+ pages, but did anyone discover any new tricks this year for making life at Glastonbury a little bit easier?

I've been going for 25 years but only this year did I find that beer cans fit perfectly on the hooks that lock long-drop doors. Obviously it would be better not to take your drink into the bogs at all, but when you have no choice this certainly beats putting it on the floor or on the ledge next to the toilet seat 🤢

image.thumb.jpeg.932422da6ddf8e3ec2e4875dd0fe35c0.jpeg

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2 minutes ago, Cheesey said:

I know there was a thread for this kind of thing back in 2019 that runs to 40+ pages, but did anyone discover any new tricks this year for making life at Glastonbury a little bit easier?

I've been going for 25 years but only this year did I find that beer cans fit perfectly on the hooks that lock long-drop doors. Obviously it would be better not to take your drink into the bogs at all, but when you have no choice this certainly beats putting it on the floor or on the ledge next to the toilet seat 🤢

image.thumb.jpeg.932422da6ddf8e3ec2e4875dd0fe35c0.jpeg

Stick the latch through your backpack straps too to hold up your bag! 

 

My top one is always to freeze capri sun's and bottles of water the night before and stick in a cool bag for the queue. Keeps you hydrated and comfortable in the heat and you can make friends by handing them out to people suffering in the heat around you too! 

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I clip on the waist belt thingy on my backpack when in a crowd/at the loo, tight enough so that the bag can stand without the shoulder straps (I do have fairly wide hips though) . This way I can flip my bag front and back to get something I need (let's say loo roll, a drink) then put it back, do my thing, flip it back front to put something back etc. THis way no need to hang the bag / having to put it on the ground etc. So worth taking my fancy hiking day bag vs a more simple backpack/guardian bag etc. I can put my drink in a side pocket too.

So far no accidents. 

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14 minutes ago, squirrelarmy said:

I suppose if you do accidentally piss into your can of carling it wouldn’t alter the taste. 

Fair point. All lager tastes pretty bad to me - I don't drink it for the taste (does anyone?). Anything that's cheap and can be drunk easily in sufficient quantities to have the desired effect is fine by me 🙂

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1 hour ago, Cheesey said:

I know there was a thread for this kind of thing back in 2019 that runs to 40+ pages, but did anyone discover any new tricks this year for making life at Glastonbury a little bit easier?

I've been going for 25 years but only this year did I find that beer cans fit perfectly on the hooks that lock long-drop doors. Obviously it would be better not to take your drink into the bogs at all, but when you have no choice this certainly beats putting it on the floor or on the ledge next to the toilet seat 🤢

image.thumb.jpeg.932422da6ddf8e3ec2e4875dd0fe35c0.jpeg

Here's one for 2023 and beyond- you can bring whatever booze you like, you don't have to bring the bogwater that is Carling. Imagine going to a festival where the only lager served is Carlsberg, and then decide to bring something that is even worse. 

Unfathomable.

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2 minutes ago, kingbadger said:

Here's one for 2023 and beyond- you can bring whatever booze you like, you don't have to bring the bogwater that is Carling. Imagine going to a festival where the only lager served is Carlsberg, and then decide to bring something that is even worse. 

Unfathomable.

It's not worse, it's terrible, but it's definitely not worse than Carlsberg... Probably why it's the UK's best selling lager, given it's slightly more expensive than Carlsberg too. 

When it comes to lagers there are tiers of shite and carlsberg is at the top...

from worst to best... 

Carlsberg - Tennants - Skol

Carling - Fosters

Coors light - Bud Light - Corona

San Miguel - Heineken - Kronenbourg - Amstel

Birra Moretti - Peroni

* This list is by no means exhaustive.  

P.s feel free to share your own tiers 🙂 Could be fun. 

 

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Pilsner Urquell is the best mass-market lager sold in the UK, and it isn't even a close contest.

There isn't a single other one that gets anywhere near the quality. I am talking not even in the same league, let alone ball park.

The fact you haven't even mentioned it is telling.

Edited by Isaact
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3 minutes ago, Isaact said:

Pilsner Urquell is the best mass-market lager sold in the UK, and it isn't even a close contest.

There isn't a single other one that gets anywhere near the quality. I am talking not even in the same league, let alone ball park.

The fact you haven't even mentioned it is telling.

Not a massive fan of it tbh, but it's certainly better than Carlsberg, Carling or Fosters... Can't think of many Czech, Polish or Slovakian beers that I would rate very highly, I like Italian Lagers (Clearly.) Quite fond of a Tyskie when it's 80p a pint in the underground bars off Krakow main square though... I imagine it's a similar thing for you and Urquell? 

Also, I've never been in a single bar up here that has it on draught, so my only experience of it is abroad or in cans... 

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28 minutes ago, Cheesey said:

Fair point. All lager tastes pretty bad to me - I don't drink it for the taste (does anyone?). Anything that's cheap and can be drunk easily in sufficient quantities to have the desired effect is fine by me 🙂

Same. I had a mix of Carling with Tiny Rebel multipacks, but they’re the small cans. Ideally 440ml cans of session IPA would be my preference but they’re at least £2-3 even from supermarkets so it gets expensive. A lot cheaper than buying pints on site, but sometimes you do just want a cold one and get some anyway. Glastonbury is surprisingly still well behind on the craft options. 

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Not sure I’d classify these as hacks, but a few toilet related hints from someone whose bladder really doesn’t like alcohol but whose owner does...

On The Other Stage, the toilets at the back get rammed, often 10+ people deep. Walk past them, parallel to the railway track for 30 seconds and there’s a second batch of toilets there that rarely have queues. I walked straight in to them when the other batch had massive queues. It’s particularly confusing given you can see the second batch of toilets from the first batch, but I’m not complaining. They also tend to be cleaner and even had toilet roll in them when I visited Saturday afternoon.

Similar at John Peel. The toilets near the Woods are always rammed but the toilets in the woods are almost always empty (other than when there’s loads of people moving from Pyramid to JP). They’re less than a minute apart.

And a slightly less efficient one, the Block9 toilets are always deserted in the day. You can now get to them very easily from Avalon, which means they’re not that far away from West Holts. When TLC were on I found it much much quicker to walk through the Latino area, through Avalon, and in to Block9 to use the facilities than to literally fight my way through the massive queues at either the rear West Holts toilets or the ones near Glasto Latino. I had it as a three minute walk from West Holts to Block 9 (and then another 10 minutes fighting through the crowd to get back to your spot, but you’d have to do that either way).

And one which I’m sure has been shared before (hey, I’m new), is that Peebols are a life saver. They’re little bags you pee in to that turns your pee in to a jelly, so you can just throw them away. Each bag can be used multiple times and hold a litre of urine. Indispensable in the tent at night.

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1 hour ago, Larraht said:

Stick the latch through your backpack straps too to hold up your bag! 

 

My top one is always to freeze capri sun's and bottles of water the night before and stick in a cool bag for the queue. Keeps you hydrated and comfortable in the heat and you can make friends by handing them out to people suffering in the heat around you too! 

 

20220625_224353.jpg

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15 minutes ago, WestCountryGirl said:

This isn't new information, but I was plesantly reminded of it this year - the kindest long-drops on site for the senses are those right by the Acoustic tent. I don't know if it was just serendipitous timing, but they always seemed to be spic and span when I found myself in need of them.

I saw my worst sight of the weekend in one of them Sunday afternoon.  Anyone else who encountered that particular stall will be part of that shared experience.  Let's just say I am almost certain it was the inspiration for the "I'm never eating chocolate hobnobs again" comment I heard in passing the following day.

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28 minutes ago, Alvoram said:

Not a massive fan of it tbh, but it's certainly better than Carlsberg, Carling or Fosters... Can't think of many Czech, Polish or Slovakian beers that I would rate very highly, I like Italian Lagers (Clearly.) Quite fond of a Tyskie when it's 80p a pint in the underground bars off Krakow main square though... I imagine it's a similar thing for you and Urquell? 

Also, I've never been in a single bar up here that has it on draught, so my only experience of it is abroad or in cans... 

Give Urquell a go its a tier above Moretti/Perroni imo, but you need a decent mixture in Glastonbury I think, 3/4 beers, went with Urquell, Madri, Moretti & Corona this year

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2 hours ago, Cheesey said:

I know there was a thread for this kind of thing back in 2019 that runs to 40+ pages, but did anyone discover any new tricks this year for making life at Glastonbury a little bit easier?

I've been going for 25 years but only this year did I find that beer cans fit perfectly on the hooks that lock long-drop doors. Obviously it would be better not to take your drink into the bogs at all, but when you have no choice this certainly beats putting it on the floor or on the ledge next to the toilet seat 🤢

image.thumb.jpeg.932422da6ddf8e3ec2e4875dd0fe35c0.jpeg

Doesn't work with Peroni tins. Erm... so I'm told.

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1 hour ago, Larraht said:

Stick the latch through your backpack straps too to hold up your bag! 

 

My top one is always to freeze capri sun's and bottles of water the night before and stick in a cool bag for the queue. Keeps you hydrated and comfortable in the heat and you can make friends by handing them out to people suffering in the heat around you too! 

I did both of these - I think I discovered them here!

My main tip is to take a pair of Merrell trainers - I got these and they're a god send. https://www.merrell.com/UK/en_GB/alpine-sneaker/044213227168.html?istCompanyId=535f0b58-4f84-4415-ace8-9f61fb1a7e74&istFeedId=44e6cfa1-83d0-49ff-b3ef-c9e12baa191c&istItemId=iqaimqtaq&istBid=t&cid=PPC-MERR-UK--_&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6bPAu-zS-AIVUaHVCh3eyQGTEAkYBiABEgL-kfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds They're water resistant (only tested when I walked through the long, dewey grass in the morning, but still) and super comfy. I wore them all five days and my feet are absolutely fine, even after treading on those massive stones and shards of wood - it's also the first year I didn't come back with the annoying Glastonbury Toe! 

Also, self-inflating mattresses piss all over air beds. My body has also felt MUCH better afterwards the two previous times I've used mine.

Neither are cheap, but if you can get them sometime ahead of next year you won't regret it.

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2 hours ago, Wherethewildthingsare said:

Not new hacks but good ones. For women or those otherwise without the equipment, take a sheepee to Use in the long drops. Wear a scarf/mask with perfume on to hide the smell

This confuses me. Are women's noses too delicate for long drops? 

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