Overheard Funnies 2022

[nikkic]

Always my favourite post-festival thread!

What conversations/funnies did you hear this year?

I’ll start….

Whilst we were at camp in the morning, we head a woman a few tents away shout…..

”For fuck sake Barry, are you seriously having a w*nk next to me whilst I’m trying to eat a pot noodle?!”

Edited June 27, 2022 by nikkic

[moogster]

Not funny when reading but her tone was perfect

Girl: sorry can I pass through

Me: you won't manage, it's blocked by chair people

Girl passing the message to BF behind her: Won't work because of chair c*nts.

[dj_tim]

Overheard someone call John Peel "the John Lewis stage".

[The Red Telephone]

Passed a wide-eyed gentleman near the Tipis one morning who said to his mate:

”The aim is to stay this level of fucked all day”

[Skelts]

Bumping this as it’s also my favourite annual thread!

[Lushroom]

A girl telling her mate "he was a 10, but then he shat himself"

Was just passing so didn't hear his new rating.

[tjfish]

I definitely heard a first timer on the Wednesday when setting up their tents -

"Have you seen the toilets!? It's literally a hole in the ground and all our stuff mixes together"

[BackpackFullOfWarmBeer]

Up near JPT Sunday between Just Mustard and Sports Team.  Guy and his friends....

"After this going to pop up to Stonebridge for Fleetwood Mac..."

"Uhhhhh.  Fleetwood Mac are definitely not playing Stonebridge..."

"They are!  It's on the app!!"

 

[moogster]

Not overheard but "overseen".

Diana Ross. Short lady of a certain age behind me. I let her in front, thinking - stupid I know - "oh this must remind her of her youth, be the highlight for her" . After three songs, she checks her app and clashfinder and heads to... Amyl and the sniffers. ROCK ON OLD LADY!

[Billy Corgans hair]

Heard a bloke during Noel turn around to the people behind him and say "IM LOOKING BACK IN ANGER"

[Alvoram]

Heard a girl telling her friend...

Girl "Yeh it was a good night but now there's a man in my sleeping bag"

Friend "Who is it?"

Girl "I don't know but he has brown hair"

Also had a little chuckle watching Fontaines (once I'd napped off my hangover headache) as some young lad was leaving, bloke in front of me shouted at him 'What's the matter, too heavy for ya?' poor lad didn't know what to say or where to look. 

[Theodore]

Someone leaving Idles on the Other singing ‘Dannnyy DeVitoo’

 

[Levitz]

Group of Brummies next to us. One of their number had just come back from the high drops.

‘He lost his hat in the toilet’

‘it fell into the hole’

‘it was £40, he loved that hat’

‘to make things worse he hadn’t been, so he literally had to shit on his own hat’

’who pays £40 for a hat’ 

 

rest of weekend discussing what might fall into the long/high drops included multiple phones, walkers and discussion of if a baby would survive 😱🤯😳🤪

[sedra]

John peel tent - girl saying to her mate when the announcer came on to introduce next act 

“That’s John Peel “ 

[DareToDibble]

27 minutes ago, Billy Corgans hair said:

Heard a bloke during Noel turn around to the people behind him and say "IM LOOKING BACK IN ANGER"

Where were you stood for this set? That may have been me 😄 But the people behind me were also my friends, I was just joking about something that had happened earlier in the day, rather than being angry at randomers!

Edited June 28, 2022 by DareToDibble

[Billy Corgans hair]

Front and centre near the sweaty nonce flag

[hodgey123]

Overheard a bloke leaving the pit before Kendrick started saying that he’d bottled it, couldn’t hack it so close and was going to Pet Shop Boys instead 

[Jacksamthompson]

27 minutes ago, Alvoram said:

Heard a girl telling her friend...

Girl "Yeh it was a good night but now there's a man in my sleeping bag"

Friend "Who is it?"

Girl "I don't know but he has brown hair"

Also had a little chuckle watching Fontaines (once I'd napped off my hangover headache) as some young lad was leaving, bloke in front of me shouted at him 'What's the matter, too heavy for ya?' poor lad didn't know what to say or where to look. 

Should have said IS THIS TOO REAL FOR YAAAA

[robbie1983]

“And now the non-binary” 

After Macca had done the boys and girls bit in hey Jude haha

[Billy Corgans hair]

I love this thread

[Brunty9]

Not overheard but made me chuckle. 

Two girls no older than 10 charging towards the front at Olivia before grinding to a halt just in front of us.

After looking round and realising there were no parents near them but parental instincts kicked in and I began to worry for them.

I asked "Do you know where you are trying to get to?"

One of them looks at me deadpan and just says "Yeah....to the front!"

We then told them to say they were trying to get to their parents near the front and they would be there in no time. 

[jparx]

Wasn’t necessarily that funny but it made me smile. A couple of first timers were joining the toilet queue, and it was where composite loos and long drops are next to each other, and one pointed at the long drops and said “they’re the better ones that don’t smell aren’t they?” And the other one nodded.  

[TheSocks]

Watching Pigsx7, the singer twice said 'Hello Donnington, we are Twisted Sister'.

I overheard a girl behind us ask her friend 'I don't think this is Pigs – he keeps saying 'we are Twisted Sister'.

My wife then showed the girl a photo of Dee Snyder, to which the girl replied 'That looks like something I would enjoy seeing'!

[K2SO]

45 minutes ago, robbie1983 said:

“And now the non-binary” 

After Macca had done the boys and girls bit in hey Jude haha

That might have been me. Were you fairly far back? I made that joke to my girlfriend... But I assume a lot of people made the same joke

[Glasto Weatherwatch]

1 hour ago, sedra said:

John peel tent - girl saying to her mate when the announcer came on to introduce next act 

“That’s John Peel “ 

😂😂😂