Drug Testing on Entry

[gfa]

1 hour ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

That shoe bomber nearly caused me problems at Stanstead Airport. Some will find this catalogue of events, but they really did happen. Anyway, I haven't got the time to go into it all in detail, so will bullet point it all - not that even this wont take time.

(1) Went out on my own (in Birmingham) the night before travelling with my then girlfriend from Stanstead to Nice (where we were to catch a train to Marseille) and onto our accommodation for a few days which had a balcony which overlooked The Château d'If.

(2) got fucking mentally pissed and coked up and stayed up all night.

(3) Now this is the bit where you are going to 'boo' me, and rightfully so too. In the morning 9after argument 1) me and my girlfriend drove down to Stanstead Airport - as in i drove down there plastered, but wired on coke which i was taking at regular intervals on the way down there. I mean, we even stopped at a pub for a pint on the way down too. FFS, I was mental in those days!

(4) Got to the car park at the airport and parked the car. it was while on the shuttle bus from the car park to the terminal building that i realised that I still had about £500 in wraps of coke in my wallet. My mind raced - a very little, given my condition. I decided (in my ultimate wisdom) that I wouldn't even attempt to hid all the wraps in my wallet, but just leave them there.

(5) We get to Ryanair check in and I hand the tickets to the lady on the counter. She informs me that I have missed that flight because i had booked the flight for the day before.

(6) My then girlfriend goes off on one so fantastical that its akin to the spinning head scene in The exorcist, and then she storms off. I look from her storming off away to the Ryanair lady. she immediately looks down and starts typing on the computer. then she says something along the lines of 'it's OK, we have still got (only) 2 places left on this flight. i'll give you new tickets for it, and no there wont be any cost'. 

(7) i go to my girlfriend and tell her the news, all the while thinking is there any way that I can get a bunch of flowers to the Ryanair lady. Unfortunately there was no such opportunity.

(8) get to security check in, take off my belt, throw my coins etc into the plastic tray etc, walk through the x ray person checker and it goes off. i then remember that i still have my wallet in my pocket and reach for it. the security bloke asks tio see it. My heart didn't even drop as I was too far gone already. I hand him the wallet (with 3500 worth of coke in it) and he simply opens it, doesn't look inside but feels his fingers across the length of it. 'Here's your wallet back sir and hands me the wallet. He then says 'i was just checking to see if you had a blade in there'.

(9) I walk off thinking that that was as close a shave as you'd want to have. I suddenly hear 'Excuse me sir, excuse me'. I turn and the security bloke is looking at me. its me he wants the attention of. i look back and he says 'Can you take your shoes off please' I wonder what is going on. i was wearing normal type looking shoes, except that they had about a 2 inch sole. he looks at the shoes and gives me them back and off I / we go.

(10) we get a taxi from the airport to the train station. We find that we have an hour or so to kill, so go to a bar opposite with outside seats and have a few drinks there. We then go to the train station to catch the train which will be arriving in 15 minutes. we get there and decide to sit down on a bench on the platform. I look up and there's 2 military looking like police walking towards me. walking towards me with a dog on a lead. i think 'FFS, this cannot be happening'. The two cops walk closer, but then stop to talk to 2 blokes sitting on the bench just in front of ours. Our train arrives and we leg it on to it.

(11) Get to Marseilles and my then girlfriend inform me that there's a wine shop chain that does more expensive wine cheaper than you'll get it anywhere else. We fill up on fine bottles of red and white and get to our accommodation. i can see the castle on the island off shorter from our balcony. my girlfriend informs me of the islands historical relevance. The sun is shining, i have fine wine and coke, and an attractive girlfriend. life is good.

PS - Later, many moons after we get back to the UK, I find out that when I went out the night before travelling to Stanstead airport that my then girlfriend had used the opportunity to shag some other bloke, a bloke who, fortunately, i did not know.

PPS - the now ex girlfriend was, at one point in her life, in a relatively successful pop band. She had even played The Pyramid stage at Glastonbury.

 

 

I was buying this story until Ryanair didn't try and charge you extra!!

[Jakeyboi135]

2 hours ago, clarkete said:

I do like a tale which sounds like a less violent version of the Smack my B*tch up video. 

I've certainly done some very foolish things from time to time, different risks to yours but no less regrettable. 

At least you lived to fight another day, which is a blessed relief after drink driving - I've done that too and was really troubled by the guilt of what could have happened. 

Done something similar by pure accident once. Went on a holiday to Spain with the in laws, went to buy a round of drinks, and noticed 2 wraps in my wallet. God knows how I'd forgotten about them, and then the dilemma hit. I didn't really want to take them back to blighty and take the risk, and wasn't overly keen on being coked up with family. 

[Jakeyboi135]

.

Edited April 21, 2022 by Jakeyboi135
Double post

[clarkete]

32 minutes ago, Jakeyboi135 said:

Done something similar by pure accident once. Went on a holiday to Spain with the in laws, went to buy a round of drinks, and noticed 2 wraps in my wallet. God knows how I'd forgotten about them, and then the dilemma hit. I didn't really want to take them back to blighty and take the risk, and wasn't overly keen on being coked up with family. 

Oh you tease.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, gfa said:

I was buying this story until Ryanair didn't try and charge you extra!!

That is possibly the most unbelievable part of it, indeed. However, I can assure you that they did not charge me again That's why I wanted to buy the lady some flowers as a thank you, as even then, while in shock from my girlfriends histrionics, I knew that they just DON'T do that. Oh, and because she'd saved my bacon.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

3 hours ago, clarkete said:

I do like a tale which sounds like a less violent version of the Smack my B*tch up video. 

I've certainly done some very foolish things from time to time, different risks to yours but no less regrettable. 

At least you lived to fight another day, which is a blessed relief after drink driving - I've done that too and was really troubled by the guilt of what could have happened. 

I doubt there's anybody 'out there' who can say that they've never done something wrong and feel guilty about it. the drink driving thing, on my part, was nothing short of insane. It's odd if I relate it to Glastonbury (where I was the driver every time bar one attendance when my mate drove. And that's about 25 attendances in total) whereby I would only have 2 or 3 pints during the Sunday, as I knew that I had to drive off site early Monday morning.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

23 minutes ago, clarkete said:

Oh you tease.

It was naughty, wasn't it.

My 'I want to Know - O - Meter' has just exploded!

[Jakeyboi135]

5 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

It was naughty, wasn't it.

My 'I want to Know - O - Meter' has just exploded!

The sensible thing would have been to throw it away. So naturally I sniffed the lot.

[vardyvarvar]

An experience I had coming into the festival from WV gate:

Security: “Have you got anything on you, you shouldn’t have?

Me: “No”

Security: “No crack, no LSD, no heroin?”

Me: “No”

Security: “Boring” *gives me a wry smile

and a wink*

[the beadle]

Just remember, kids, it’s neither big nor clever to take drugs! It is a lot of fun though.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

Hello everybody.

 

Edited April 22, 2022 by Yoghurt on a Stick

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

59 minutes ago, TASHMA BWABWE said:

That image appears broken and links to Gmail, dude.

Hello TASHMA,

I think that I know what you mean, but am not quite sure. Does it mean that 'others' can see the entirety of that email, or all my emails?

I guess either would be worrying. I have now deleted the photo in any case. Does your photo also link to my email or emails? 

Anyway, congratulations you 'did it' - you spotted my first 'known to me' error. I've been waiting for this sort of thing to happen for years now. 

Thank you for pointing it out. I'm not sure if I really care, but probably do because of the potential outfall. However, as my dad once said to me 'Can they kill you for it'? The answer (in this country anyway - or at least to some extent) will always be 'no' - so why worry? 

If you have seen 'that' email in its entirety, please know that I was dropped on my head as a child - repeatedly. I'm not sure if I fully believe my mothers 'butter fingers' excuse!

If you have seen other emails then please, I beseech you, don't go to the relevant authorities!  🙂

[Deaf Nobby Burton]

Before a long haul flight to Oz once, I did actually make the mistake of killing time waiting for our lift to airport, by running weed killer all over the drive. I certainly got a lot of attention at security. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

8 hours ago, TASHMA BWABWE said:

Err...okay.

It looks like you tried to comment with an image...

When I hover over 'image.png' it's a hyperlink, which links to a 'mail.google.com...' address. Only you can open that link because it's in your Gmail.

Anyone else who clicks it gets an error...

I only pointed it out to let you know in case you wanted to paste the correct image instead. I wasn't trying to trip you up or read your emails.

Make sense? 

Makes full sense to me now in the clear light of day. Thanks for clarifying. I was more than a little tired, possibly a little pissed, but definitely stoned last night, so wasn't exactly 'with it'. 

[waynewdk]

What type are they offering, and do you put your order in there and then 

Edited April 23, 2022 by waynewdk

[Charm]

On 4/21/2022 at 4:24 PM, Jakeyboi135 said:

Done something similar by pure accident once. Went on a holiday to Spain with the in laws, went to buy a round of drinks, and noticed 2 wraps in my wallet. God knows how I'd forgotten about them, and then the dilemma hit. I didn't really want to take them back to blighty and take the risk, and wasn't overly keen on being coked up with family. 

This was my method and a camera pot of weed in my makeup bag, last time I did this was 2019 x

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

15 minutes ago, Charm said:

This was my method and a camera pot of weed in my makeup bag, last time I did this was 2019 x

Hello Charm,

I was going for the Hat-Trick on the up votes above but, unfortunately, ran out when I went to upvote you. I'm surprised at the weed bit. I'm not sure that I'd take weed through an airport. I know that sounds a little silly compared to what i have taken through in the past, but there's something about weed ie can Mylar bags and the like really, really stop 'THAT' smell from getting out?

On reflection, I guess I did take quite a bit through customs though, at one point in time. However, that was on a ferry on my way to Ireland with one of my brothers and a mutual friend. It was this friends gear that was being taken through. before we headed off to get to the ferry, I asked him how big his stash container was. I was expecting something the exact same size as one of those plastic boxes that can be bought for putting a solid bar of soap in. It was no such thing. It was, as it happens, an empty 2L plastic ex ice cream containing box thingy. 

I go so pissed and stoned on that short ferry trip that i had no alternative other than to relinquish command of myself. i told my brother and our mate that there was no way that I was even goping to attempt to drive the car off the ferry. I then said that one of the people in yellow jackets working at the docks would have to drive it off for us. This suggestion was boo hoo'ed, and it was decided that my brother would drive off because he'd only had 6 pints.

 

[Charm]

40 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Hello Charm,

I was going for the Hat-Trick on the up votes above but, unfortunately, ran out when I went to upvote you. I'm surprised at the weed bit. I'm not sure that I'd take weed through an airport. I know that sounds a little silly compared to what i have taken through in the past, but there's something about weed ie can Mylar bags and the like really, really stop 'THAT' smell from getting out?

On reflection, I guess I did take quite a bit through customs though, at one point in time. However, that was on a ferry on my way to Ireland with one of my brothers and a mutual friend. It was this friends gear that was being taken through. before we headed off to get to the ferry, I asked him how big his stash container was. I was expecting something the exact same size as one of those plastic boxes that can be bought for putting a solid bar of soap in. It was no such thing. It was, as it happens, an empty 2L plastic ex ice cream containing box thingy. 

I go so pissed and stoned on that short ferry trip that i had no alternative other than to relinquish command of myself. i told my brother and our mate that there was no way that I was even goping to attempt to drive the car off the ferry. I then said that one of the people in yellow jackets working at the docks would have to drive it off for us. This suggestion was boo hoo'ed, and it was decided that my brother would drive off because he'd only had 6 pints.

 

Hey lovely, your stories are brilliant as always, thanks.
Camera film pots are pretty good at disguising smell, I foolishly felt that if caught I could act stupid and cry my way out of trouble, especially with small amounts, no way you could plead stupidity with an ice cream box full. 
Thought it was a fine idea to bring 10 pills back from Ibiza last time, did get properly worried when they swabbed me, will never carry narcs through airports again x

[TheDayman]

Probably been mentioned already but airports (most, if not, all) are only checking for explosives.

We had an "eventful" weekend a few years back where my laptop ended up being used as a makeshift table.

Fast forward to a week later and I'm going through the airport for work. My laptop, in a tray on its own, gets pulled aside after the xray. At that point I remember what it was used for the week previous and promptly shit myself.  They wiped the top, put it through the machine and... all clean.

Thank god people weren't sniffing explosives.

 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, Charm said:

Hey lovely, your stories are brilliant as always, thanks.
 

Thanks Charm(er). It helps if somebody appreciates them - in a kind of a very weak 'it justifies the buffoonery of my life' kind of a way!

1 hour ago, Charm said:

I foolishly felt that if caught I could act stupid and cry my way out of trouble, especially with small amounts, 

That would certainly work on me, but I doubt there's too many border officials and police that would acquiesce to your 'cunning' plan.

1 hour ago, Charm said:

no way you could plead stupidity with an ice cream box full. 
 

To be accurate, the 2L ice cream container didn't just contain weed. No, no, no, no, it contained hash too, and a plethora of commonly known (back then) recreational drugs. And, just to add icing on the cake, as it were, it contained a 'commodity' which my mate had 'acquired' directly from a hospital ward, where he worked. He had emptied a phial (or whatever type container) of this stuff into another container and temporarily hide it - to be taken home by him at a future point in time. He then filled the phial with water, got on to the ward and deliberately dropped it on the floor in an acted accidental way, so as other staff witnessed it and it was logged on the registered as missing but not administered ie. he covered his tracks.*

* - I had privately been advised by others closer to him as a friend than I was at that time (he was my brothers mate, mostly, at that time, but is now a very dear friend of mine) that if he was to offer me 'substance A' while on holiday with him, that i should politely turn down his kind offer. the offer was indeed made by him on our holiday, and I duly declined. Apparently, according to those in the know, it was territory you just didn't want to go to.

 

1 hour ago, Charm said:

will never carry narcs through airports again x

I think that's pretty much my position nowadays too. 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

33 minutes ago, TheDayman said:

Probably been mentioned already but airports (most, if not, all) are only checking for explosives.

The annoying problem there is that x ray machines show explosives as orange and organic drugs as orange too.