Anybody else sober and in recovery ?

[ian the worm]

One thing I’ve managed to continue is to still dance like a pissed up twat. I once shocked a few people at the office Christmas party when I nonchalantly got in my car and drove home. I was almost reported as no one knew I was sober at that point.  

Also, I long to be stopped and breathalysed so I can proudly announce that my last drink was on 01/10/2015. 

[ian the worm]

Yes, AF is alcohol free. Photo on right was corporate but I am also having a lot of fun inside. Because I was free from planning my life around constantly getting pissed up. 

[Quark]

3 minutes ago, ian the worm said:

Yes, AF is alcohol free. Photo on right was corporate but I am also having a lot of fun inside. Because I was free from planning my life around constantly getting pissed up. 

I jest, that was meant to be a tongue in cheek but maybe not an appropriate topic. Can never tell if stuff comes across right on t'interwebs so apologies if that was not as well received as it was meant. 

7 minutes ago, ian the worm said:

One thing I’ve managed to continue is to still dance like a pissed up twat. I once shocked a few people at the office Christmas party when I nonchalantly got in my car and drove home. I was almost reported as no one knew I was sober at that point.  

I used to have to be drunk to dance. Something I've learned from driving to gigs these days is how to dance happily without booze, and it's amazingly liberating!

[gigpusher]

33 minutes ago, Quark said:

I jest, that was meant to be a tongue in cheek but maybe not an appropriate topic. Can never tell if stuff comes across right on t'interwebs so apologies if that was not as well received as it was meant. 

I used to have to be drunk to dance. Something I've learned from driving to gigs these days is how to dance happily without booze, and it's amazingly liberating!

At uni the first person to sing on karaoke used to get a free drink so I always used to go first and get the free drink which I would give to my then boyfriend, now husband. He'd buy me 2 soft drinks as it still worked out cheaper than a pint at our student bar. I always find it a little sad that some people can feel like they can't do things like singing or dancing until they've had a few. I have always been first on a dancefloor etc. Amazing how so many people will see my admittedly very bad dancing and be shocked that I am happy to do it even though I don't drink. I usually just tell them that I don't have much of a shame gene!!

Edited February 12, 2021 by gigpusher

[balti-pie]

About 15 months ago, i reconciled myself with some pretty distressing personal history - in short, i was sexually abused as a kid and didnt bother to talk about it, or acknowledge it really, for 32 years. 

So i had this dark and horrible stuff in my head, and started going to counselling and seeking help over it - talking to my friends, just opening the lid of my head and having a good reorganise. Its been extremely liberating and beneficial, and i really do feel like a different person. 

Since i started talking about it, i've had absolutely zero interest in being drunk. I'll have a beer or two, and then switch to soft drinks. So i'm not out and out 100% sober, but i know i wont be falling over drunk ever again. I can see now that my excess drinking (and i was an accomplished drinker, pints upon pints, spirits downed by the glassful, i could drink for hours) was me trying to dull my senses and my brain into ignoring the big horrible thing i had in my head. The absolute vast majority of sex i've had in my life has been had while drunk. I've had entire relationships where we've only slept together when i was drunk. I can see now that it was to try and shut my brain off a bit. 

this current me is much happier, more articulate, and a much better shag 🤣 So yeah, while i didn't think i had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, in retrospect i very much did. And i can clearly see that whole 'social pressure to drink' thing - people genuinely reckon there's something wrong with you if you don't want to get pissed.

I really don't want, or need, to get pissed any more, and i'm very happy with that.

 

(cor, that got a bit serious - i hope it wasn't triggering for anyone etc)  

[Quark]

2 hours ago, balti-pie said:

About 15 months ago, i reconciled myself with some pretty distressing personal history - in short, i was sexually abused as a kid and didnt bother to talk about it, or acknowledge it really, for 32 years. 

So i had this dark and horrible stuff in my head, and started going to counselling and seeking help over it - talking to my friends, just opening the lid of my head and having a good reorganise. Its been extremely liberating and beneficial, and i really do feel like a different person. 

Since i started talking about it, i've had absolutely zero interest in being drunk. I'll have a beer or two, and then switch to soft drinks. So i'm not out and out 100% sober, but i know i wont be falling over drunk ever again. I can see now that my excess drinking (and i was an accomplished drinker, pints upon pints, spirits downed by the glassful, i could drink for hours) was me trying to dull my senses and my brain into ignoring the big horrible thing i had in my head. The absolute vast majority of sex i've had in my life has been had while drunk. I've had entire relationships where we've only slept together when i was drunk. I can see now that it was to try and shut my brain off a bit. 

this current me is much happier, more articulate, and a much better shag 🤣 So yeah, while i didn't think i had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, in retrospect i very much did. And i can clearly see that whole 'social pressure to drink' thing - people genuinely reckon there's something wrong with you if you don't want to get pissed.

I really don't want, or need, to get pissed any more, and i'm very happy with that.

 

(cor, that got a bit serious - i hope it wasn't triggering for anyone etc)  

Damn that's a lot to open up with dude! Sounds like you're in a much better place for yourself, which is incredible. Fingers crossed there'll be opportunity for a drink, alcoholic or otherwise, in Brighton when gigs start again 🙂

(Speaking of which, I haven't forgotten about your FNM tix!  Just been hanging on for now until we know a bit more about what's going on, but will have another go at transferring them to your mate and see if it works this time! Feckin' Ticketmaster.... 😄 )

[funkychick2007]

@balti-pie and others in recovery!! Never under estimate how much you have overcome have much you have achieved and will go on to achieve and the inspiration you are to others!! 
 

[balti-pie]

44 minutes ago, Quark said:

Damn that's a lot to open up with dude! Sounds like you're in a much better place for yourself, which is incredible. Fingers crossed there'll be opportunity for a drink, alcoholic or otherwise, in Brighton when gigs start again 🙂

(Speaking of which, I haven't forgotten about your FNM tix!  Just been hanging on for now until we know a bit more about what's going on, but will have another go at transferring them to your mate and see if it works this time! Feckin' Ticketmaster.... 😄 )

Thanks mate 👍🏻 I dare say the gig will be shifted again, mid-June isn’t really that far away - it’s been a proper saga but at some point I can wang the money over to you. Bloody hell, it’s aaaaages ago the tickets went up for sale! 
 

yeah, it’s been a big process, quite lifechanging! but I’m glad to be on the other side of it. I’ve been working in mental health for nigh on twelve years now so you’d think I’d be better at communicating! The counselling has been sourced through Mankind in Brighton, they’re a wonderful service for male survivors of CSA. I’m going to raise a few quid for them, cos they need it and deserve it. Help is out there for people who need it, and it’s a fantastic safety net that people should use if they feel they need to. It makes a huge difference in all sorts of different areas of my life. 

[hodgey123]

5 hours ago, Quark said:

Obviously a different kettle of fish (pun intended) but it's the same with being vegetarian, or even trying to eat or shop ethically.  I've found it the norm that people will ask you why you do it, then attempt to knock down any of your arguments for doing so. And it's not unusual for them to get shitty when doing so.

And nights out when I've just not fancied a drink, it's always the same questions. Are you ill? Are you driving? Have you got something on tomorrow? Just endless.

I often wonder if people find it holds up a mirror to their own behaviours, and the only way they know how to react is to get defensive. More like trying to convince themselves than anyone else.

This is definitely completely true! It is so strange how in this country you are required to justify why you don't want to drink at all times if other people are. You wouldn't ask someone to justify why they don't 'fancy' a smoke if other people were outside smoking. In the past I've found myself completely dodging occasions and making up excuses for doing so, occasions which I would have happily attended sober, purely because I know I would have been pressured into explaining why I didn't want to have a drink on that particular night!

I think I am at the stage now where I am much more comfortable just saying no and getting on with it rather than completely avoiding the situation but it is still uncomfortable. 

[Watergirl]

Congratulations on your year @mrfunk.

I stopped drinking 22 June. I remember the date, because it was the week I was doing "Glastonbury-at-Home".  I signed up for 'One Year No Beer', which has been helpful.  I didn't have a big problem, but it was something I had long thought would be a good idea. Like a lot of people, I was drinking too much early on in lockdown, so decided to give it a go.

It hasn't been too difficult, but then the pubs in Dublin have been closed since March last year (seriously). The real test is going to be when gigs and festivals come back. But so far so good!

[Homer]

20 hours ago, balti-pie said:

About 15 months ago, i reconciled myself with some pretty distressing personal history - in short, i was sexually abused as a kid and didnt bother to talk about it, or acknowledge it really, for 32 years. 

So i had this dark and horrible stuff in my head, and started going to counselling and seeking help over it - talking to my friends, just opening the lid of my head and having a good reorganise. Its been extremely liberating and beneficial, and i really do feel like a different person. 

Since i started talking about it, i've had absolutely zero interest in being drunk. I'll have a beer or two, and then switch to soft drinks. So i'm not out and out 100% sober, but i know i wont be falling over drunk ever again. I can see now that my excess drinking (and i was an accomplished drinker, pints upon pints, spirits downed by the glassful, i could drink for hours) was me trying to dull my senses and my brain into ignoring the big horrible thing i had in my head. The absolute vast majority of sex i've had in my life has been had while drunk. I've had entire relationships where we've only slept together when i was drunk. I can see now that it was to try and shut my brain off a bit. 

this current me is much happier, more articulate, and a much better shag 🤣 So yeah, while i didn't think i had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, in retrospect i very much did. And i can clearly see that whole 'social pressure to drink' thing - people genuinely reckon there's something wrong with you if you don't want to get pissed.

I really don't want, or need, to get pissed any more, and i'm very happy with that.

 

(cor, that got a bit serious - i hope it wasn't triggering for anyone etc)  

That's incredible work to get on top of something like that - massive kudos to you!

[Homer]

22 hours ago, gigpusher said:

I've never drank or taken drugs as I saw and suffered first hand in my family the problems of addiction and decided that if genetic fate had dealt me a bad hand maybe the only real choice was refusing that first one. I would definitely agree that people seem very uncomfortable in this country with those who don't drink. I've definitely come across it many times and I think in many ways it's one of the root causes of Islamophobia. People seem to have a deep mistrust of somebody not drinking ( a lot of which in my experience seems to stem from them not liking the fact that you will remember how they have behaved when drunk) 

Alcohol is a depressant and I would say that there a lot of problem drinkers if not necessarily alcoholics out there. I know so many people who get angry or tearful every time they have a drink and I think they'd be better off and probably have much happier nights out without it.  

I think you may be right about the attitudes of people in this country; as I was reading this I was reminded of an article I read years ago about a survey which showed we are apparently deeply distrustful of cyclists here!

Edited February 13, 2021 by Homer

[mrfunk]

Thanks guys for the responses and sharing, means a lot. 

 

Any long time weed users finally quit? 

[pc3036]

Yep. Used to be a big big drinker. Think 100+ units a week. Had a health issue in November which I’m still recovering from. Not had a drink since 22nd November now. I would say I feel great for it but the drink was masking depression and anxiety which is not so good, although giving up alcohol has been a lot easier than I expected and the bank balance is much healthier as a result.