Stage Predictions 2022: For real this time

[kingcrawler]

I agree that they’ve been booking bigger subs recently but again, who else is there that isn’t far too big to sub? Biffy Clyro was a surprise at the time but they clearly realised they were never going to headline. Florence has already headlined, albeit in strange circumstances, why drop down to playing below that already? Harry Styles dates do make it look possible but why would someone who can sell out multiple stadiums agree to play but not headline? Even looking at other big festivals in Europe, Mad Cool, Primavera and Rock Werchter have decent lineups but there’s not many acts on there who are big Glastonbury subs, they’ve all got acts like Pixies, The War on Drugs, Greta Van Fleet and Phoenix as headline acts this year. 

I think Wolf Alice and Lorde would both be pretty weak bookings as subs, though I think Wolf Alice would pull a decent sized crowd, but it’s more that I’m not convinced any of the other suggestions who’ve been left off the poster are realistic either.

[FloorFiller]

Just now, Ddiamondd said:

I’ll go back to this point as to why 2022’s bill is a delight, no matter the factional skirmishes breaking out over subs.

If we did have Cave, Ezra, XX types this year it would be no surprise where they place.

But beyond the top line + Foals + PSBs, our undercard is so strong, varied and fluid, we’ve got more or less the whole jigsaw to complete. We don’t even know the Saturday Other headliner yet! It’s lunacy, it’s great.

Yep, so many contenders for high slots as well as stage headliners. Maybe in the past we’ve had more insider info which is why we’ve known certain things by this point, but a lot of the placements this year seem completely up for grabs at this point. 

[Matt42]

Doja Cat is subbing at every festival she’s playing at so far. I was laughed at for suggesting it before but it would match up with her slots elsewhere. I do agree that it’s a bit of a bold choice for Glasto tho. We will see.

Gun to my head I’d say we are missing a Friday sub. 

[Chrisp1986]

Does Lorde still do her big stage show or is it more toned down with the new album? Has she done any dates yet? Regret seeing The National (?) over her last time as their set was so dull that year.

[Matt42]

Just now, Chrisp1986 said:

Does Lorde still do her big stage show or is it more toned down with the new album? Has she done any dates yet? Regret seeing The National (?) over her last time as their set was so dull that year.

Think this is one of the only festivals she’s doing this year aside from lolla stockholm. Don’t think her solar power tour has started yet.

Edited March 5, 2022 by Matt42

[Somto Unigwe Raphael]

4 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

Doja Cat is subbing at every festival she’s playing at so far. I was laughed at for suggesting it before but it would match up with her slots elsewhere. I do agree that it’s a bit of a bold choice for Glasto tho. We will see.

Gun to my head I’d say we are missing a Friday sub. 

True, and while I was considering her for a Pyramid sub, I’ve just seen that she’s subbing Longitude where A$AP Rocky and Tyler, the Creator are headlining. Would be a pretty shit booking to sub the Pyramid.

[Somto Unigwe Raphael]

2 minutes ago, Chrisp1986 said:

Does Lorde still do her big stage show or is it more toned down with the new album? Has she done any dates yet? Regret seeing The National (?) over her last time as their set was so dull that year.

She clashed with The xx. I’d have rather seen her but went with The xx to get a good spot for Radiohead.

[Miyn]

Just now, Chrisp1986 said:

Does Lorde still do her big stage show or is it more toned down with the new album? Has she done any dates yet? Regret seeing The National (?) over her last time as their set was so dull that year.

She clashed with The XX / Radiohead on Friday. I've got tickets to see her on tour, which I'm considering selling if I can see her at Glasto. Her stage set up with the big box looked great.

[Matt42]

2 minutes ago, Somto Unigwe Raphael said:

True, and while I was considering her for a Pyramid sub, I’ve just seen that she’s subbing Longitude where A$AP Rocky and Tyler, the Creator are headlining. Would be a pretty shit booking to sub the Pyramid.

I know I had her down for other headline but I think bicep will headline the other against Macca now. Doja on pyramid.

Imo she’s on the Kendrick day either third down or subbing him. Feels like her and Lorde’s places are interchangeable.

[kingcrawler]

3 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

I know I had her down for other headline but I think bicep will headline the other against Macca now. Doja on pyramid.

Imo she’s on the Kendrick day either third down or subbing him. Feels like her and Lorde’s places are interchangeable.

Yeah this is what I’m thinking too at the moment, I’d probably edge towards Lorde subbing on the basis that when they booked her they wouldn’t have expected Solar Power to dab down as much as it did.

[Matt42]

@Somto Unigwe Raphaeli also think ASAP headlining makes sense in the context of longitude just like J Cole headlining makes sense to wireless.

Looking at where Doja is popping up, she tends to be playing before the headliner. Think they have her before Kendrick now.

[Somto Unigwe Raphael]

6 minutes ago, Matt42 said:

I know I had her down for other headline but I think bicep will headline the other against Macca now. Doja on pyramid.

Imo she’s on the Kendrick day either third down or subbing him. Feels like her and Lorde’s places are interchangeable.

I’ve just done a bit of rearranging and ended up with Doja third down on Kendrick day below Lorde (I feel like she’d have probably been booked expecting her album not to flop) and Megan Thee Stallion subbing Bicep on Other.

[Matt42]

3 minutes ago, Somto Unigwe Raphael said:

I’ve just done a bit of rearranging and ended up with Doja third down on Kendrick day below Lorde (I feel like she’d have probably been booked expecting her album not to flop) and Megan Thee Stallion subbing Bicep on Other.

This is the way. Could see Doja before Kenny tho.

[dentalplan]

here are the top ends of each stage that I've got down:

Pyramid Stage

Billie Eilish, Wolf Alice, Doja Cat
Paul McCartney, Noel Gallagher, Haim
Kendrick Lamar, Elbow, Lorde

Other Stage

Foals, (someone not on the poster - Courteeners? idk)
Megan Thee Stallion, Glass Animals
Pet Shop Boys, Years & Years

West Holts

Little Simz, Leon Bridges
Bicep, TLC
Herbie Hancock, Bonobo

John Peel Stage

Four Tet, Phoebe Bridgers
Charli XCX, Fontaines D.C.
Primal Scream, Burna Boy

Park Stage

St. Vincent, Roisin Murphy
Sleaford Mods, The Avalanches
Caribou, Big Thief

[Somto Unigwe Raphael]

Just the acts from the poster. Assuming it’s just main stage acts, otherwise I could see The Waterboys on Acoustic; Nightmares on Wax and Ghetts in Silver Hayes; Warmduscher on Williams Green.

A note that Park would hopefully finish early enough for Caribou to be done before Four Tet begins (like when Kano headlined Park the same day BBK headlined Other).

 

Friday:

Pyramid: Billie Eilish / Wolf Alice / Elbow / Olivia Rodrigo / Kacey Musgraves / Rufus Wainwright

Other: Foals / Supergrass / Blossoms / Metronomy / Sleaford Mods / Inhaler

West Holts: Little Simz / Arlo Parks / Celeste / Nubya Garcia / Tems

John Peel: Bonobo / St. Vincent / The Jesus and Mary Chain / Griff / Wet Leg / Holly Humberstone

Park: First Aid Kit / Fontaines D.C. / Cate Le Bon / Sampa the Great / black midi / girl in red / Amyl and the Sniffers

 

Saturday:

Pyramid: Paul McCartney / Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds / HAIM / Robert Plant & Alison Krauss / Sigrid / The Waterboys

Other: Bicep / Megan Thee Stallion / IDLES / Ghetts / Declan McKenna / Skunk Anansie

West Holts: Leon Bridges / TLC / Greentea Peng / Seun Kuti & Egypt 80 / Joy Crookes / Gabriels

John Peel: Charli XCX / Roísín Murphy / Jessie Ware / Clairo / Dry Cleaning / Turnstile / Warmduscher

Park: Phoebe Bridgers / Big Thief / Khruangbin / Confidence Man / Emma-Jean Thackray

 

Sunday:

Pyramid: Kendrick Lamar / Lorde / Doja Cat / Diana Ross / Glass Animals / Crowded House / Herbie Hancock

Other: Pet Shop Boys / Years & Years / Sam Fender / Courtney Barnett / Lianne La Havas / Easy Life

West Holts: Four Tet / Burna Boy / Nightmares on Wax / Koffee / Angelique Kidjo / Snarky Puppy

John Peel: Primal Scream / Mitski / Self Esteem / beabadoobee / Yves Tumor

Park: Caribou / The Avalanches / JARV IS… / Caroline Polachek / Squid

[dentalplan]

2 minutes ago, Ddiamondd said:

Cheers son's crying. Nice one

You must decide,
You must decide,
Even though it isn't real
You must deciiiiiiiiiide

[Somto Unigwe Raphael]

5 minutes ago, dentalplan said:

here are the top ends of each stage that I've got down:

Pyramid Stage

Billie Eilish, Wolf Alice, Doja Cat
Paul McCartney, Noel Gallagher, Haim
Kendrick Lamar, Elbow, Lorde

Other Stage

Foals, (someone not on the poster - Courteeners? idk)
Megan Thee Stallion, Glass Animals
Pet Shop Boys, Years & Years

West Holts

Little Simz, Leon Bridges
Bicep, TLC
Herbie Hancock, Bonobo

John Peel Stage

Four Tet, Phoebe Bridgers
Charli XCX, Fontaines D.C.
Primal Scream, Burna Boy

Park Stage

St. Vincent, Roisin Murphy
Sleaford Mods, The Avalanches
Caribou, Big Thief

Do you not think Supergrass will keep their (supposed) Other sub slot from 2020? Would make it easier for me to fit everyone in if not as I’d shift Glass Animals to Other sub instead of shoving them mid-Pyramid.

Edited March 5, 2022 by Somto Unigwe Raphael

[dentalplan]

Just now, Somto Unigwe Raphael said:

Do you not think Supergrass will keep their (supposed) Other sub slot from 2020? Would make it easier for me to fit everyone in if not as I’d shift Glass Animals to Other sub instead of shoving them mid-Pyramid.

Maybe. Seems way high though now. I just assume there'll be at least one addition subbing a stage. And it's usually Courteeners lmao

[thewayiam]

1 hour ago, Matt42 said:

Dunno about that. I think there’s a good case for Harry or Flo to get their own announcement. Harry being a stadium act would be a huge get, it would make sense to package it in a special way. 

Flo could get her own announcement because it’s getting a past headliner back.

Both make total sense to me. I reckon Flo is a good shout for a secret set if she doesn’t grab the pyramid sub slot either way.

Harry could just hold off and headline it next year if he wanted and asked.

1 hour ago, chazwwe said:

You say this but we would of had an announcement for Mumford and Sons as a sub headliner. 

Nothing is confirmed on that, just rumor.

58 minutes ago, incident said:

Thing is, we don't know either of those to be true.

They may not have anything announced today, but that doesn't mean nothing is coming.

In particular I'll be stunned if Flo hasn't played at least one decent sized (non-Glastonbury) UK or Ireland date by the end of September and wouldn't rule out her being announced for EP and/or Wilderness, which both reveal their lineups on Thursday.

Yes I think Flo will be there too in a potential TBA slot but a main slot I think it would be out. 

I don't see any chance Florence is doing Wilderness, too small a festival for her to be at. Jamie XX played it.

44 minutes ago, Ddiamondd said:

All this said, I completely agree that Wolf Alice and Lorde together are weak subs, and Noel isn’t exactly a thriller even if he is the right size.

By the by, I also think Wolf Alice’s crowd will dwarf Lorde no matter where they place.

WA might be a compassionate level-up if a Flo/Jack type rounds off Sunday. Then you’ve got one speculative pick on Friday and two nailed-on stars of the age on Sat & Sun.

I’m in the camp that we have one sub left to be revealed. But until we know, it’s all guesswork.

Noel isn't the size anymore, it's just who he is. He plays festivals now that Clean Bandit are headlining for example and he's not even the Oasis lead singer. It's a set of subs presuming they all are they are really 3rd down max bookings.

I don't see Flo needing her own announcement for a sub set, it's not like she would be an absolute headliner.

[Matt42]

9 minutes ago, dentalplan said:

here are the top ends of each stage that I've got down:

Pyramid Stage

Billie Eilish, Wolf Alice, Doja Cat
Paul McCartney, Noel Gallagher, Haim
Kendrick Lamar, Elbow, Lorde

Other Stage

Foals, (someone not on the poster - Courteeners? idk)
Megan Thee Stallion, Glass Animals
Pet Shop Boys, Years & Years

West Holts

Little Simz, Leon Bridges
Bicep, TLC
Herbie Hancock, Bonobo

John Peel Stage

Four Tet, Phoebe Bridgers
Charli XCX, Fontaines D.C.
Primal Scream, Burna Boy

Park Stage

St. Vincent, Roisin Murphy
Sleaford Mods, The Avalanches
Caribou, Big Thief

You’ve lost the plot with elbow subbing. They aren’t going from third down in 2020 to a sub in 2022. Shake ur head.

[Somto Unigwe Raphael]

1 minute ago, dentalplan said:

Maybe. Seems way high though now. I just assume there'll be at least one addition subbing a stage. And it's usually Courteeners lmao

Yeah it does seem a mental slot for them.

Obvious missing Other sub to me would be London Grammar but getting dabbed down from the first poster probably suggests they ain’t there. Unless they just switched some people out from the first poster so it doesn’t look too samey. Who knows.

[Matt42]

Friday

Pyramid: Billie Eilish / TBA / Elbow / Olivia / Kacey

Other: Foals / Wolf Alice / Supergrass

Saturday

Pyramid: Paul McCartney / Noel / HAIM / Robert / Sigrid

Other: Bicep / Megan / Glass Animals

Sunday

Pyramid: Kendrick Lamar / Doja Cat / Lorde / Diana Ross / Crowded House 

Other: Pet Shop Boys / Years & Years / Sam Fender

It is known.

Edited March 5, 2022 by Matt42

[Harry_W01]

Olivia will absolutely kill it. my non festival friend is in tatters as he didn't get tickets to any of her UK shows

[dentalplan]

Bicep aren't headlining the Other ffs. Absolute glue-chugging chat.

[dentalplan]

1 minute ago, Harry_W01 said:

Olivia will absolutely kill it. my non festival friend is in tatters as he didn't get tickets to any of her UK shows

Resale coming up.

Talking of Rodders, I don't think she'll do the Pyramid. They'll underplay her on the Other I reckon.