Best and worst toilets on site (AKA where the shit doesn't end until the festival does)

[Starscreenbass]

One of my fondest memories of my first Glastonbury is waking up every morning and joining the GIANT queue for the compost toilets on Pylon field. Stood there for nearly half an hour a day just watching life go by around me whilst trying not to piss myself.

They got the urinals the year after and it just wasn’t the same

[incident]

15 minutes ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

I've been going to the festival for 10 years and have never found the flushing loos near the farmhouse, but I am terrible with directions! Are they still there? What's the best way to get to them?

Also thanks for the thread @stuartbert two hats - have really enjoyed reading something non Covid.

They last existed in 2015 - they were at the top of the path that goes straight up the middle of Big Ground.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

16 hours ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Best: the long gone farmhouse porcelain beauties

Worst: Other stage urinals

Honourable Mention: The compost toilets would be great if the doors didn't keep falling off.

 

Not only have I not read this thread, but I have also voted incorrectly. I hadn't seen the Lenor bottle option. The state one finds oneself in when you 'need' one of those Lenor bottles is almost that of a rabid animal. The 'Great Relief / Release', just cannot be quantified by science alone. For it is a heavenly release / refief. And when you have finished and popped the top back on the bottle, all is well with the world. You know that you didn't have to get all hassled to death with actually moving and getting out of your tent etc. Yes, this is your lair now. A safe space for you to question the validity of your own mind's arguments. 

Only when 'it is time' will you venture out from your tent, and back into, 'The Beautiful Place', for another round of the same. 

[Ayrshire Chris]

Anyone ever used the pyramid urinals and  looked up just to see the BBC camera looking down on you from the big crane? 

[Avalon_Fields]

Best: The ones that are closest to wherever you are

Worst: The ones with a queue when you’re desperate 

[hfuhruhurr]

Another vote for the long drops up by JP - we camp in lower mead and those first thing in the morning can't be beat. I reckon better than the campervan portaloos (which are pristine). And, a little rain, it's wrong, but somehow feels fresher! The ones by the Caberet aren't bad at all - considering the traffic.

What is it with the face-to-face urinals - ugh, splash and the awkward look -yikes.

But crikey, I'm so glad to be a bloke when it comes to late night wee-age.

[Zoo Music Girl]

28 minutes ago, incident said:

They last existed in 2015 - they were at the top of the path that goes straight up the middle of Big Ground.

Cheers! I can't remember where Big Ground is either, but can now consult a map at least 🙂

[Zoo Music Girl]

4 minutes ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

Cheers! I can't remember where Big Ground is either, but can now consult a map at least 🙂

Having just done this, I can now confirm that I don't think I've ever been to Big Ground so that's why I've never seen them! 😄

Only ever come in via Ped Gate A and think I once went out near Ped Gate D with a friend to the car park.

Edited January 26, 2021 by Zoo Music Girl

[WestCountryGirl]

19 minutes ago, hfuhruhurr said:

Another vote for the long drops up by JP - we camp in lower mead and those first thing in the morning can't be beat. I reckon better than the campervan portaloos (which are pristine). And, a little rain, it's wrong, but somehow feels fresher! The ones by the Caberet aren't bad at all - considering the traffic.

What is it with the face-to-face urinals - ugh, splash and the awkward look -yikes.

But crikey, I'm so glad to be a bloke when it comes to late night wee-age.

It is one of the few times in my existence when I find myself wishing I had such an appendage for relieving myself. I did take my own she-pee to Glasto last time, for use in the women's urinals but it was so hard to .. go. I was absolutely desperate, dying, but I found myself standing there, willing my bladder to open and.. nothing. I'm definitely going to have to practice with it some more before next time, try and train those reflexes to relax 😂

[Wellyboot]

1 minute ago, WestCountryGirl said:

It is one of the few times in my existence when I find myself wishing I had such an appendage for relieving myself. I did take my own she-pee to Glasto last time, for use in the women's urinals but it was so hard to .. go. I was absolutely desperate, dying, but I found myself standing there, willing my bladder to open and.. nothing. I'm definitely going to have to practice with it some more before next time, try and train those reflexes to relax 😂

😂😂 I found that!!! I bought one years ago and thought I'd test it out at home first... never seemed to be able to manage it!! (I gave up, which isnt the right thing to do 'try and try again etc' but it just felt like a lot of effort to try and wee!)

[Zoo Music Girl]

9 minutes ago, WestCountryGirl said:

It is one of the few times in my existence when I find myself wishing I had such an appendage for relieving myself. I did take my own she-pee to Glasto last time, for use in the women's urinals but it was so hard to .. go. I was absolutely desperate, dying, but I found myself standing there, willing my bladder to open and.. nothing. I'm definitely going to have to practice with it some more before next time, try and train those reflexes to relax 😂

I have the exact same problem! I also can't use a Traveljohn or anything like that. Psychological I reckon but it's really annoying! 

[Zoo Music Girl]

7 minutes ago, Wellyboot said:

😂😂 I found that!!! I bought one years ago and thought I'd test it out at home first... never seemed to be able to manage it!! (I gave up, which isnt the right thing to do 'try and try again etc' but it just felt like a lot of effort to try and wee!)

This is making me feel much better as I thought I was the only one who had this issue! 

[Wellyboot]

7 minutes ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

This is making me feel much better as I thought I was the only one who had this issue! 

Definitely not just you!! I know a few people who swear by them, but they must have been on a she-wee training course or something 😂🤔 

[balti-pie]

17 hours ago, Gnomicide said:

Best longdrops used to be the ones by Lulu's Cafe. Not sure what they're like now The Woods has opened. 

Ignore the people telling you it's the ones by Gate C, it's a lie.

 

They're magnificent, the longdrops by lulu's - my regular pooping spot for the last 5 or 6 festivals. Every morning around 7:30 they're cleaned, and typically there's a bleary me there, loo roll in pocket, ready to encourage my brown trout out to the watering hole. Nice big poop, a wash of the old hands and face, and perhaps another half hour doze back at the tent, and i'm ready to face the world 😎

[WestCountryGirl]

29 minutes ago, Wellyboot said:

😂😂 I found that!!! I bought one years ago and thought I'd test it out at home first... never seemed to be able to manage it!! (I gave up, which isnt the right thing to do 'try and try again etc' but it just felt like a lot of effort to try and wee!)

We just weren't built to pee standing up 🤷‍♀️

22 minutes ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

This is making me feel much better as I thought I was the only one who had this issue! 

Definitely not! When I was trying last time there were a few other ladies all stood around with pained expressions on their faces evidently suffering in the same way 😂 I did hear someone shout a surprised "I'm doing it!"

[Zoo Music Girl]

19 minutes ago, Wellyboot said:

Definitely not just you!! I know a few people who swear by them, but they must have been on a she-wee training course or something 😂🤔 

Yeah me too! Makes me feel like a right loser! 

To be honest though I have become very good at holding it over the years, so that can only be a useful skill...

[Zoo Music Girl]

5 minutes ago, WestCountryGirl said:

We just weren't built to pee standing up 🤷‍♀️

Definitely not! When I was trying last time there were a few other ladies all stood around with pained expressions on their faces evidently suffering in the same way 😂 I did hear someone shout a surprised "I'm doing it!"

Ha that's brilliant! I only tried once in the female urinals, stood there for a while and nothing happened so legged it out of there. Haven't been back since!

One thing I don't get: are you supposed to pull your pants down or somehow fit it into them? I felt really weird just pulling them down as well (and I'm absolutely fine with stripping in a gym changing room etc, but just felt so exposed!)

[fred quimby]

1 hour ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Anyone ever used the pyramid urinals and  looked up just to see the BBC camera looking down on your big crane? 

Corrected for you 

[Funkyfairy!]

30 minutes ago, Wellyboot said:

Definitely not just you!! I know a few people who swear by them, but they must have been on a she-wee training course or something 😂🤔 

never managed to use one 'in public' but in my tent into a lenor bottle instead of venturing outside - pure bliss 🙂 

[Wellyboot]

19 minutes ago, Funkyfairy! said:

never managed to use one 'in public' but in my tent into a lenor bottle instead of venturing outside - pure bliss 🙂 

I have one of these fot tent wees and it's one of the best things I've ever bought!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B071VXTS2Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_OFeeGb1HKKP7W

No she-wee required as the top is... err.. shaped for a flower?? 🌸 🤣 so you don't have to aim and it pulls out (like the top of a straw) so plenty of room in it too even for massive wees 😊

[Gnomicide]

1 hour ago, WestCountryGirl said:

I was absolutely desperate, dying, but I found myself standing there, willing my bladder to open and.. nothing. I'm definitely going to have to practice with it some more before next time, try and train those reflexes to relax 😂

You need to get your prostate checked.

[Funkyfairy!]

25 minutes ago, Wellyboot said:

I have one of these fot tent wees and it's one of the best things I've ever bought!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B071VXTS2Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_OFeeGb1HKKP7W

No she-wee required as the top is... err.. shaped for a flower?? 🌸 🤣 so you don't have to aim and it pulls out (like the top of a straw) so plenty of room in it too even for massive wees 😊

😀😀😀 a friend bought me one of these, but not used yet at a festival .... they are superb 🙂 .... shaped like a flower- excellent description.  My only concern with it is the noise it makes when extending the tube pre wee - no such thing as a quiet extension lol, must remember to pre extend before going to bed 🙂

[Wellyboot]

41 minutes ago, Funkyfairy! said:

😀😀😀 a friend bought me one of these, but not used yet at a festival .... they are superb 🙂 .... shaped like a flower- excellent description.  My only concern with it is the noise it makes when extending the tube pre wee - no such thing as a quiet extension lol, must remember to pre extend before going to bed 🙂

😂🤣 you're right there!! They aren't quiet to extend at all!! They're very handy tho!! You're clearly a far more considerate camp buddy/ tent buddy than me! I just extend and go! Never thought much about the noise until now... tho my group don't often tend to sleep so I'm probably fine 😂🤣 

[Funkyfairy!]

21 minutes ago, Wellyboot said:

😂🤣 you're right there!! They aren't quiet to extend at all!! They're very handy tho!! You're clearly a far more considerate camp buddy/ tent buddy than me! I just extend and go! Never thought much about the noise until now... tho my group don't often tend to sleep so I'm probably fine 😂🤣 

To be fair my experience wasn;t at a festival with the background noise and well everyone either not sleeping or in a deep sleep - mine was only last summer on a very quiet campsite, when the friend that bought it for me and was in a tent 5 meters away casually mentioned the noise of the unfolding of the bottle that woke her up the previous night - oops 

[Crazyfool01]

well this afternoon  is a new experience on efests  🙂