Jump to content

Best and worst toilets on site (AKA where the shit doesn't end until the festival does)


stuartbert two hats
 Share

Which toilets are best?  

121 members have voted

  1. 1. Best bogs

    • Compost
      65
    • Covered long drops
      5
    • Uncovered long drops
      35
    • Portaloos
      4
    • Those ones nr The Stone Circle
      4
    • Urinals
      0
    • The bushes
      1
    • Lenor
      2
    • Other
      5


Recommended Posts

On a very hot morning in 2010 I realised from the comfort of my own tent that I wouldn't make it as far as any toilet.

As an alternative I had to shit in the only thing I had to hand, a plastic pint glass.

As I may have mentioned before, it was like pouring a pint of warm Guinness. 

I didn't put a shamrock on it.

Jesus, the panic as I was reaching the 1 pint mark.

Edited by Gnomicide
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Gnomicide said:

On a very hot morning in 2010 I realised from the comfort of my own tent that I wouldn't make it as far as any toilet.

As an alternative I had to shit in the only thing I had to hand, a plastic pint glass.

As I may have mentioned before, it was like pouring a pint of warm Guinness. 

I didn't put a shamrock on it.

Jesus, the panic as I was reaching the 1 pint mark.

Was it in a Guinness pint glass? And how close were you to stopping just under the logo?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, giantkatestacks said:

The compost doors being wobbly produced a marvellous sight in the Arcadia crew bar a couple of years ago. A couple literally fell out of it and down the stairs while they were er in flagrante. We all cheered obviously. Those doors cannot be relied on at a push.

It amazes me that anyone would choose to fuck in a toilet cubicle. Even if neither of you has a tent you can use, surely there must be a better option.

Edited by Zoo Music Girl
  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, giantkatestacks said:

The compost doors being wobbly produced a marvellous sight in the Arcadia crew bar a couple of years ago. A couple literally fell out of it and down the stairs while they were er in flagrante. We all cheered obviously. Those doors cannot be relied on at a push.

A toilet at Glastonbury? Who said romance was dead...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Gnomicide said:

On a very hot morning in 2010 I realised from the comfort of my own tent that I wouldn't make it as far as any toilet.

As an alternative I had to shit in the only thing I had to hand, a plastic pint glass.

As I may have mentioned before, it was like pouring a pint of warm Guinness. 

I didn't put a shamrock on it.

Jesus, the panic as I was reaching the 1 pint mark.

When will this shit end?

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Towards the end of the '99 festival, back when the bogs were generally way worse than they are today, I elected to go in an abandoned tent, onto a paper plate. 

In hindsight, I can see how this is disgraceful behaviour and a nasty shock for whomever had to clear away that tent. I am sorry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, maelzoid said:

Towards the end of the '99 festival, back when the bogs were generally way worse than they are today, I elected to go in an abandoned tent, onto a paper plate. 

In hindsight, I can see how this is disgraceful behaviour and a nasty shock for whomever had to clear away that tent. I am sorry.

Wow, that's off the scale. Mind you, not that off the scale on reflection - see below;

I went to Secret Garden Party one year and two moneyed blokes rocked up with a massive new tent. I heard them ask younger people around them if they wanted to put their tent up for £50. Needless to say they had takers straight away, and up went this massive various roomed tent. Anyway, they had clearly abandoned it at the end of the festival. So, I went in thinking I'll take this tent down and salvage it for myself. well, that was the idea. It was the idea until I got to one of the bedrooms and saw that it had been used as a toilet for shitting in throughout the festival. Yuk!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, maelzoid said:

Towards the end of the '99 festival, back when the bogs were generally way worse than they are today, I elected to go in an abandoned tent, onto a paper plate. 

In hindsight, I can see how this is disgraceful behaviour and a nasty shock for whomever had to clear away that tent. I am sorry.

I love that whilst shitting in someone else's tent you decided to be respectful and do it on a paper plate 🤣

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

It amazes me that anyone would choose to fuck in a toilet cubicle. Even if neither of you has a tent you can use, surely there must be a better option.

Even then, a crew bar compost loo is a step up on the long drop in the SE corner I, and many others, heard a couple using on the sunday night of 2019. Although they did develop quite a large crowd cheering them along 😂

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, Gnomicide said:

On a very hot morning in 2010 I realised from the comfort of my own tent that I wouldn't make it as far as any toilet.

As an alternative I had to shit in the only thing I had to hand, a plastic pint glass.

As I may have mentioned before, it was like pouring a pint of warm Guinness. 

I didn't put a shamrock on it.

Jesus, the panic as I was reaching the 1 pint mark.

😂😂😂 thats brilliant!!

I'm sure I read on here that someone had a shit on a plate at Glastonbury haha!

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

At least yours seem to have been accidental / acts of misfortune @Charm.

After a day at Twickenham some years ago to watch the Middlesex 7s tournament (which is in the height of summer, the importance of which shall become apparent) I needed the loo on the walk back to the station. Due to the huge numbers of people flooding towards a relatively small station they always have loads of portaloos lining the road, so I decided to avail myself of one.

While making use of the facilities, and therefore in no place to react quickly, I suddenly felt the loo rocking slightly. And then a grinding noise as it started turning. My friends (and I use that word carefully) had ganged together and rotated the whole thing so that the door was now up against a wall, and I was very definitely locked inside.

It's all a bit of a trauma, but I think I was in there for about 15 minutes. Now you'll see why the fact it was a hot summer's day (and the tail end of the day as well) made it oh so much worse. Eventually they turned it around and let me back out, and as I staggered out and gasped for air I realise that they'd been sitting on a wall enjoying a beer, while the police who were there for crowd control had been stood with them and were absolutely wetting themselves, along with pretty much the entirety of the crowd of passers by 😄

Edited by Quark
  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Worst for me are the ones at the side of the railway track Penards way .

For years I camped at the bottom of KM and the toilets were never that bad especially first thing in the morning when the poo crew had been through even when it was a bank of blue turdis’s. although one year in the early hours we were all at camp when one of the girls in the group wondered off to the toilet after a couple of minutes we could hear a scream and some other girls in the groups names being called along with ‘wet wipes ‘. Everyone went across thinking she’d been attacked it turned out She opened the door and sat straight down on someone tapered one they’d laid on the seat. Helluva funny for us not so for her. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...