Thanks

[Grrmunky]

Hi guys, long time lurker on here been to the last 5 festivals but last year my dad was the unfortunate security guard that passed away last year. Met him on the Thursday and got to show him round the south east corner in expectation of seeing him again. Left him at 3am and didn’t see him again, to be honest I was dreading this I wanted to go back to the farm but feeling of...I dunno. Walking thru the fields after being told the most devastating news you can imagine in the place where it had only ever been happy times whilst other are still enjoying their time is the hardest thing I’ve ever done .  As the anniversary has gotten closer it’s been hard but I still want (if not need) to get back. Don’t really no why I’m saying this but thanks anyway I saw the posts at the time last year but defo couldn’t have responded 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

1 hour ago, Grrmunky said:

Hi guys, long time lurker on here been to the last 5 festivals but last year my dad was the unfortunate security guard that passed away last year. Met him on the Thursday and got to show him round the south east corner in expectation of seeing him again. Left him at 3am and didn’t see him again, to be honest I was dreading this I wanted to go back to the farm but feeling of...I dunno. Walking thru the fields after being told the most devastating news you can imagine in the place where it had only ever been happy times whilst other are still enjoying their time is the hardest thing I’ve ever done .  As the anniversary has gotten closer it’s been hard but I still want (if not need) to get back. Don’t really no why I’m saying this but thanks anyway I saw the posts at the time last year but defo couldn’t have responded 

Fair play to you Grrmunky.

There's no way on this planet that I'd butter you up, or any other mother F'er, for that matter. However, I do actually have to butter you up, as it happens. It is evident to all here, I'm sure. that your dad was a nice geezer, and I suspect  so are you.

Listen - I know this is gong to sound knobheadish, but I'd say that your dad would want you to be happy in life. So, be he's ambition for you - be his and your happiness.

All the best. 

 

 

 

[Funkyfairy!]

Firstly huge hugs and so sorry for you loss. 
My two pennies worth ( for what it’s worth ) , the first ‘anniversaries are horrible , take care and be kind to yourself . It’s dreadful having to leave site after that happening (I had dreadful news one year  and had to get off site super quickly and heading off as party revelellers were heading home , it was surreal and heartbreaking ) 

you love the festival and you did you get to show your dad the SE corner and that’s all all precious memories  , I am quite sure your Dad would want you to go there again , no decision to be made yet , take your time but when the time is right step onto that turf again , you may do it differently , But the festival will envelop you with love , and the memories will remain but the demons will fade .  I remember really needing to go back , to not leave the festival on the bad memories but to make new ones , we’re all built differently and in time you’ll make the right decision for you x 

Take care 

[blutarsky]

So sorry for your loss, grief is a fucker and the only thing that really does anything for it is time. Even after time has passed and you’re able to look back at happy memories, they will always be bittersweet and tinged with sadness. I hope that the fact the last time you saw your dad was sharing the SE corner brings you comfort and that you can come back to Worthy Farm and remember those last moments fondly. 

[sedra]

So sorry to hear of your devastating loss last year. the first anniversary is always the hardest. I am sure he knew how much the festival meant to you, and if you are there next year you can celebrate his life and make more positive memories? It might be worth contacting the farm to see if you could visit when restrictions allow to have a quieter moment of reflection and remembrance? 
Everyone deals with loss in their own way but the festival can be a place of healing the heart and making the world seem a better place. 

[Homer]

Out of upvotes - but commiserations and welcome. X

[funkychick2007]

Thinking of you and your Dad! After stewarding in the south east corner and working alongside security I realised the security at Glastonbury are pretty special so much so it has inspired me to take my door supervisors training and start creating a new project in my career regarding safety at festival's. Something inspired me!! 

Do want you need to take of yourself and your family and when your ready the farm will welcome you back with its open arms! 
 

[Ayrshire Chris]

So good that you’ve started posting, you will find a lot of  understanding and empathy on here, and when the time is right for you, a lot of humour and gentle ribbing from like minded people all with one thing in common, a love for The festival. Take  care over the next few weeks. Dip in and out of here when you feel like it. 

[Grrmunky]

After a successful stint on the resale, there’s 8 of us going this year. I’m sure I’ll have a blast but also be hard going but mates, the festival, cider, more cider will get me through

[Joshuwarr]

Much love to you. I hope you have an amazing time x

[wro_lap]

You're going to have a great time, mate. If you need to take a moment to reflect while you're there, then there's no shame in that - just because you're at Glastonbury doesn't mean you have to feel a certain way all of the time.

 

But you're definitely doing the right thing - he'll be with you in spirit having a blast, a laugh and a cider. Sending love your way x

[am00]

https://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/information/the-oak-tree-project/

 

I was reading this section of the website yesterday and you might like it. If you scroll down a bit there's a lady who talks about losing her son and the memories tangled with the festival. 

There are many places you can have a quiet moment for your dad when you get there. 

 

[gigpusher]

11 hours ago, Grrmunky said:

After a successful stint on the resale, there’s 8 of us going this year. I’m sure I’ll have a blast but also be hard going but mates, the festival, cider, more cider will get me through

Take care and have a wonderful festival. 

[bexj]

Big love to you, your friends will help you through the difficult bits (which might come and wallop you at the most unexpected times btw) and I hope you find some magic too.  Remember though, no-one is forcing you to stay at the festival if you are finding it too much.  Take care x

[SouthbanKen]

I mentioned this on the resale thread, and whilst it’s not the same as your story, it might help you in some way to know others are going through similar things. My Mum passed away quite suddenly last August, her birthday is June 25th, so I am expecting the Saturday at Glastonbury to have some ups and downs for me this year. 

I would echo what others have said on this thread, do what you feel is right, don’t feel under pressure to enjoy every moment, your friends will understand, if you want to leave site, or sit in your tent for a bit, or just find a quiet spot for a while - do it. But also remember that your Dad would have wanted you to enjoy yourself. 
 

I’ll be having a drink for my Mum on the Saturday - if it’s ok with you, I’ll remember to raise a glass for your Dad too. 
 

Peace out xx 

[mattiloy]

I’m sorry friend.

One of my favourite words (that I remember from RE at high school) is numinous- the feeling of being a part of something greater.

The leylines, the site, the energy, the love.. a peaceful minute looking down on the festival from the hill late at night after the cathartic crescendo of the day.

I hope you find a moment to feel close to your old man during the festival. Its a good place for it. God bless