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How do you feel?


Matt42
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21 minutes ago, Funkyfairy! said:

In a world that was supposed to come together as a result of a joined up effort against a pandemic it feels as if people are more divided than ever:

- everyone has an 'opinion'

- there are too many 'experts' - self confessed experts who can't run their own lives let alone a pandemic yet think they are qualified to tell people the right and wrong ways to behave

- the maskers vs the anti maskers

- the vaxxers vs the ant vaccers

- the covid believers vs the 'its all a hoax'ers

- the people that are now yelling 'don't visit my county' - we don't want you here (ala beauty hotspots) - vs the 'we can visit anywhere we want - Boris has told us to enjoy UK

Its all a minefield , and it all feels so so divided right now, we were aiming for #bekind to each other - nothing could be further from the reality right now . This isn't aimed at anyone on here at all but how do we bring people back together again, being kind to each other, and respecting each others opinions

yep its so tough ... and you are  right ... its difficult 

Edited by crazyfool1
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4 minutes ago, Funkyfairy! said:This isn't aimed at anyone on here at all but how do we bring people back together again, being kind to each other, and respecting each others opinions

My experience in the past few weeks, albeit limited, is that even among those who respect opinions and personal space, this goes out of the window after a few drinks. Just been reading on BBC about Chainsmokers gig in New York; people will eventually return to type. 

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2 hours ago, Funkyfairy! said:

the maskers vs the anti maskers

- the vaxxers vs the ant vaccers

- the covid believers vs the 'its all a hoax'ers

I think if you had a Venn diagram of anti-maskers, anti-vaxxers and 5G conspirators it would pretty much be a circle. 

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Just now, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

My life's just going from bad to worse at this end. A thief broke into my house last night and stole the bottom left hand key off my computer keyboard. I've lost control. 

Soz. Soz about that.
 
The wriggly worms made me do it.

Would you believe it ... I lost a whole row ... along with control ... purchased a new one today ... not sure how you knew that but it’s something clever you have going on there :) 

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Had worse panic attacks last night than I've had for the last month... Unfortunately as anyone who has these knows it's a self perpetualating thing and even tho you have no idea what the fuck it is that's making you panic... You fucking panic.... At least in lockdown I knew I was alone.. Well with the wife... But now I need to keep people together and that means...................................... People........................... And I fucking hate people.. 

Peace and tea vodka old sons 

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Probably not the most popular opinion on here judging by everyone's comments but I'm so undeniably fed up with everything right now. I'm 100% in the camp that life needs to move on and things need to go back to normality. If I hear the word 'new normal' once more I'm going to break down. Looking at the data COVID deaths have been below the 5 year average of normal flu since June and were also prior to the peak. They continue to fall daily.

Everyone is focussed on 'cases', which, if you increase testing will also inevitably increase. Lockdown. Not lockdown. Lockdown. Not lockdown. It's never ending. I don't want to go to a pub where I have to sit in the beer garden and make an appointment to use the toilet wearing a mask. Yes Vaccines are being worked on but nothing concrete yet. There's absolutely no end in sight. And I've lost every ounce of faith that we will have gigs and festivals back next year. There seems to be a massive divide of people, one side like myself who wants life to resume and another crying out for further lockdowns.

I've worked right through the pandemic in office. Our lockdown was longer in Wales also to initially start with. Right now I'm purely and ultimately just existing. I'm not living. I feel empty inside. I go to work and come home and see my Girlfriend. That's it. I can't take any more takeaway food. Or walks in the park.

Throughout my life music has been such an important pillar and as sad as it might sounds I lived for going to gigs. I've always said as long as I had a enough money and my health to enjoy live music I would be happy, and I was. Until now.

Is there any light at the end of this darkened tunnel? Sorry for the downer of a post but it's having a huge impact on my mental health right now. I'm absolutely sick of it all and there's nothing I can do about it except watch people argue on Twitter and Facebook about it all. If there was a gig held tomorrow I would go with no qualms about being in a crowd. Which is weird from me as I'm a massive germophobe and have suffered OCD for years, especially when people around me are ill with a cold/flu. I'm just no longer concerned by COVID. And that in itself probably isn't a good mindset to have. Perhaps its the emotionlless depression talking.

Edited by D-Low
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11 minutes ago, D-Low said:

Probably not the most popular opinion on here judging by everyone's comments but I'm so undeniably fed up with everything right now. I'm 100% in the camp that life needs to move on and things need to go back to normality. If I hear the word 'new normal' once more I'm going to break down. Looking at the data COVID deaths have been below the 5 year average of normal flu since June and were also prior to the peak. They continue to fall daily.

Everyone is focussed on 'cases', which, if you increase testing will also inevitably increase. Lockdown. Not lockdown. Lockdown. Not lockdown. It's never ending. I don't want to go to a pub where I have to sit in the beer garden and make an appointment to use the toilet wearing a mask. Yes Vaccines are being worked on but nothing concrete yet. There's absolutely no end in sight. And I've lost every ounce of faith that we will have gigs and festivals back next year. There seems to be a massive divide of people, one side like myself who wants life to resume and another crying out for further lockdowns.

I've worked right through the pandemic in office. Our lockdown was longer in Wales also to initially start with. Right now I'm purely and ultimately just existing. I'm not living. I feel empty inside. I go to work and come home and see my Girlfriend. That's it. I can't take any more takeaway food. Or walks in the park.

Throughout my life music has been such an important pillar and as sad as it might sounds I lived for going to gigs. I've always said as long as I had a enough money and my health to enjoy live music I would be happy, and I was. Until now.

Is there any light at the end of this darkened tunnel? Sorry for the downer of a post but it's having a huge impact on my mental health right now. I'm absolutely sick of it all and there's nothing I can do about it except watch people argue on Twitter and Facebook about it all. If there was a gig held tomorrow I would go with no qualms about being in a crowd. Which is weird from me as I'm a massive germophobe and have suffered OCD for years, especially when people around me are ill with a cold/flu. I'm just no longer concerned by COVID. And that in itself probably isn't a good mindset to have. Perhaps its the emotionlless depression talking.

Although im on the other end of the scale in terms of how we are at the moment and my general nervousness about the situation ... ive been locked down and not working due to medical stuff .... I feel exactly the same about living in a life of nothingness and just existing .... I didnt do masses of stuff like most on here , but what I did do I really appreciated ..... what is important though is that at either end of this ( divide ) we are actually not ... we share the same frustrations , the same loves , the same interests ..... and the same wanting this shit to be over completely ....fingers crossed for you and us .... dont forget you are far from alone ... things will get better 

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23 minutes ago, D-Low said:

Probably not the most popular opinion on here judging by everyone's comments but I'm so undeniably fed up with everything right now. I'm 100% in the camp that life needs to move on and things need to go back to normality. If I hear the word 'new normal' once more I'm going to break down. Looking at the data COVID deaths have been below the 5 year average of normal flu since June and were also prior to the peak. They continue to fall daily.

Everyone is focussed on 'cases', which, if you increase testing will also inevitably increase. Lockdown. Not lockdown. Lockdown. Not lockdown. It's never ending. I don't want to go to a pub where I have to sit in the beer garden and make an appointment to use the toilet wearing a mask. Yes Vaccines are being worked on but nothing concrete yet. There's absolutely no end in sight. And I've lost every ounce of faith that we will have gigs and festivals back next year. There seems to be a massive divide of people, one side like myself who wants life to resume and another crying out for further lockdowns.

I've worked right through the pandemic in office. Our lockdown was longer in Wales also to initially start with. Right now I'm purely and ultimately just existing. I'm not living. I feel empty inside. I go to work and come home and see my Girlfriend. That's it. I can't take any more takeaway food. Or walks in the park.

Throughout my life music has been such an important pillar and as sad as it might sounds I lived for going to gigs. I've always said as long as I had a enough money and my health to enjoy live music I would be happy, and I was. Until now.

Is there any light at the end of this darkened tunnel? Sorry for the downer of a post but it's having a huge impact on my mental health right now. I'm absolutely sick of it all and there's nothing I can do about it except watch people argue on Twitter and Facebook about it all. If there was a gig held tomorrow I would go with no qualms about being in a crowd. Which is weird from me as I'm a massive germophobe and have suffered OCD for years, especially when people around me are ill with a cold/flu. I'm just no longer concerned by COVID. And that in itself probably isn't a good mindset to have. Perhaps its the emotionlless depression talking.

You're not alone i feel like that too. 

I really hope you're ok, or as ok as you can be.

If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here.. we all are x

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57 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

Although im on the other end of the scale in terms of how we are at the moment and my general nervousness about the situation ... ive been locked down and not working due to medical stuff .... I feel exactly the same about living in a life of nothingness and just existing .... I didnt do masses of stuff like most on here , but what I did do I really appreciated ..... what is important though is that at either end of this ( divide ) we are actually not ... we share the same frustrations , the same loves , the same interests ..... and the same wanting this shit to be over completely ....fingers crossed for you and us .... dont forget you are far from alone ... things will get better 

It's a tough time. And I know what you mean about the same outcomes. Hopefully we can get through this. I always appreciated being at a show but there was a degree of taking the gig or festival for granted and it's something I'll never do again. I think I might actually cry at my first live show. It'll be emotional.

53 minutes ago, Wellyboot said:

You're not alone i feel like that too. 

I really hope you're ok, or as ok as you can be.

If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here.. we all are x

Thank you, appreciate it. I've been trying to avoid news and Twitter to my best abilities and keep busy with cycling. It's just the neverending-ness of it all. The moment I think we're on the right track and then it's local lockdowns springing up everywhere. A whole year of my life wasted doing nothing but work. It's been particularly difficult as I used to spend every moment of my life doing things of enjoyment or planning gigs, holidays, festivals, events. I hated wasting time away. The longer it goes on and closer it gets to Autumn the worse I feel knowing it's going to continue long in to next year too :(

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 @D-Low you're far from alone. 

Different circumstances for me, and I've had a pretty crap which adds to it but I'm feeling quite down about it all and can't help being engulfed by all the negativity at times. 

My daughter is extremely vulnerable so I haven't been able to throw myself back into some of the things my friends have, and I couldn't just attend a gig without thinking of her safety but I miss it so much. Gigs and festivals were my escapism, and the thought of them not returning for another twelve months frankly terrifies me.

Take care mate, and like many others on here if you need an ear to bend you're more than welcome.

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1 hour ago, Big durbs said:

I always try and take the positive from everything we do , Mrs D had cancer 10 years ago not long after we met , the thought of losing her was just to awful to contemplate,  it has to be said , 4 months after chemotherapy and radiotherapy and only 8 weeks after bowel surgery she went to Glastonbury 2010 . For the life of me I could not get my head around that at the time , my first Glasto was 2015 and I get it now .

thats why we enjoy every moment we get at festivals and gigs , it’s our release from the stress of work ( Mrs D is a nurse and I’m a technical director ) also I take nothing for granted, 

Enjoy the moment, live every day as if it was your last, spend time with the ones you love ! 

That’s a bloody excellent life story! Massive respect to your wife for still going that year. I’ve had nothing even on that scale but Glastonbury to me, or festivals in general,  are time to forget about all the shit in your life and crack on. 

And you come back a stronger, wiser person each time. After the hanging off goes away! 
 

 

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5 hours ago, Big durbs said:

 

 live every day as if it was your last

That was my dad's view as well. Consequently he spent the last 5 years of his life hooked up to a life support system, for no medical reason whatsoever.

My apologies, but I really couldn't help that. It was the direct plagiarism of a readers letter into Viz, which has been stuck in my memory since the moment I first became aware of it, many years ago.

Happy to hear that your wife survived her health battles, and that both of you enjoy life to the full. :)

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I've come to the realisation that I actually really hate my job.

I have  a lot of friends at work and I think going in and seeing them everyday distracted me from how much I didn't like my work. Now working from home it's brought it all to light. I think the isolation is starting to get to me. I do live with my partner but he works for the family business so is out from 5am to 5pm every day so I just float around the flat myself all day long. 

I had two weeks off recently and didn't even really enjoy it. I seemed to get a fair bit of anxiety which seemed to be focused around thoughts of my job. Two weeks off but I was still "in the office" as my home is now my office. 

I've even found myself googling things like "do  have anxiety?" or "Do I have depression?" because I know I just don't feel right. 

The problem is exacerbated by the fact that 1) It's not really a great time to be trying to find a new job and 2) I am really not qualified to do anything. 

I'm becoming less and less productive at work. My manager even highlighted this to me in a 121 and I thought right, I'm gonna get in the zone now. However, I still can't bring myself to be able to focus. Even though I know my volume of work is being watched I just cannot find the motivation.

Sorry, that was all a bit of word vomit just to get thoughts off my chest I guess.

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2 minutes ago, Tartan_Glasto said:

I've come to the realisation that I actually really hate my job.

I have  a lot of friends at work and I think going in and seeing them everyday distracted me from how much I didn't like my work. Now working from home it's brought it all to light. I think the isolation is starting to get to me. I do live with my partner but he works for the family business so is out from 5am to 5pm every day so I just float around the flat myself all day long. 

I had two weeks off recently and didn't even really enjoy it. I seemed to get a fair bit of anxiety which seemed to be focused around thoughts of my job. Two weeks off but I was still "in the office" as my home is now my office. 

I've even found myself googling things like "do  have anxiety?" or "Do I have depression?" because I know I just don't feel right. 

The problem is exacerbated by the fact that 1) It's not really a great time to be trying to find a new job and 2) I am really not qualified to do anything. 

I'm becoming less and less productive at work. My manager even highlighted this to me in a 121 and I thought right, I'm gonna get in the zone now. However, I still can't bring myself to be able to focus. Even though I know my volume of work is being watched I just cannot find the motivation.

Sorry, that was all a bit of word vomit just to get thoughts off my chest I guess.

I'm so sorry you're struggling.

It might be worth having a chat to a dr if you know you don't feel right, they can do you a telephone appointment if you're concerned about going in. My drs did that for me at the beginning of all this, March time, and gave a prescription for my panic attacks over the phone (well, I had to go and collect it from a chemist but you know!) so that's definitely worth at least thinking about.

I think when you know you aren't right, it tends to take over everything even if you don't intend for it to.

I cant help on the work front, as ive been going into the office all the way thru but there are lots of lovely folk on here WFH who might be able to help you feel a little better about it / have some advice.

Hope you're ok!

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Tartan_Glasto I think working from home is having a big impact and probably more so now than in the earlier days of lockdown!! If  changes the job tht you were doing beforehand and there are benefits to having face to face interaction within the workplace!! It’s hard to keep those boundaries between work and home I try and do something specific like go for a walk at the end of each working day just to separate the two! 
Mind and Calm have some good suggestions on their website and speak to the doctors about how your feeling! 
In a positive this may be a sign there is something new on the horizon for you, you are qualified to do more than you think as you have lots of social skills tht are transferable into the workplace! The other stuff you just have to learn!! Is there anything particular you are interested in or would like to do as a career? 
take care of yourself

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2 hours ago, Tartan_Glasto said:

I've come to the realisation that I actually really hate my job.

I have  a lot of friends at work and I think going in and seeing them everyday distracted me from how much I didn't like my work. Now working from home it's brought it all to light. I think the isolation is starting to get to me. I do live with my partner but he works for the family business so is out from 5am to 5pm every day so I just float around the flat myself all day long. 

I had two weeks off recently and didn't even really enjoy it. I seemed to get a fair bit of anxiety which seemed to be focused around thoughts of my job. Two weeks off but I was still "in the office" as my home is now my office. 

I've even found myself googling things like "do  have anxiety?" or "Do I have depression?" because I know I just don't feel right. 

The problem is exacerbated by the fact that 1) It's not really a great time to be trying to find a new job and 2) I am really not qualified to do anything. 

I'm becoming less and less productive at work. My manager even highlighted this to me in a 121 and I thought right, I'm gonna get in the zone now. However, I still can't bring myself to be able to focus. Even though I know my volume of work is being watched I just cannot find the motivation.

Sorry, that was all a bit of word vomit just to get thoughts off my chest I guess.

I felt exactly the same but after a two week holiday I’ve had the headspace to think about what I’m doing, where I’m going etc. Now I’m back to work with a kind of a loose plan on changing direction in a medium term kind of timeframe and just having that has given me the lift I needed to get stuck into the daily grind again.

The thing that gets you down is the feeling that you’re stuck.

So my advice: next time you can manage it, take bit of time off, even a long weekend, and have a bit of a think about what you might wanna do and do a little bit of research about how to get there.

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Thanks for your replies guys. It actually helps hearing some people are feeling the same. 

I guess part of the problem is that I really have no idea what I want to do. I'd love to do something with baking as it's the one thing I am pretty good at. However, it's a fairly saturated market and would take a while to get to a position where I could live off it. 

Feck it, while writing this post I've just ordered a haul of new baking supplies. I guess a small step towards doing something positive is better than no step at all.

See, this is why this place is so good. The Glastonbury hospitality lives on even when the festival doesn't. I vented on here cause it felt easier than telling people I know and now I do feel better. Maybe this feeling is short lived but I'll take it for now :)

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1 minute ago, Tartan_Glasto said:

Thanks for your replies guys. It actually helps hearing some people are feeling the same. 

I guess part of the problem is that I really have no idea what I want to do. I'd love to do something with baking as it's the one thing I am pretty good at. However, it's a fairly saturated market and would take a while to get to a position where I could live off it. 

Feck it, while writing this post I've just ordered a haul of new baking supplies. I guess a small step towards doing something positive is better than no step at all.

See, this is why this place is so good. The Glastonbury hospitality lives on even when the festival doesn't. I vented on here cause it felt easier than telling people I know and now I do feel better. Maybe this feeling is short lived but I'll take it for now :)

I'm so glad you're feeling a little better, and treating yourself to some new baking stuff is brilliant news!! :) it does help to get stuff off your chest and sometimes its easier to tell people you don't really know. Just never feel alone, cos you aren't. We're always here!! And anything is possible, if that's the direction you want to go down with the baking then go for it!! I hope the positivity continues for you, I really do!! :) 

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It's quite amazing how no matter where you are we're all going through the same thing (or many of us at least). 

Over here, a whole other side of the world, and it's the same. Personally, I'm going through the worst time in my life, mentally at least. All kinds of shit going on in my head. The dark days of June were the worst. I seriously thought that I was going to end up in a mental institution. I thought I'd completely lost it. Luckily I quickly asked for help (professional and loved ones) and I'm doing better, but I'm still going through shit I never thought I'd experience. Every day I wake up and I wonder if I'll get through the day without freaking out. 

As a society, it's ALL the same. Division. At first most people seemed to be on the same page. Just panicking about every single case. We went into full lockdown REALLY early. So it's been 6 months of it now. Some people get to go out, if their jobs require it. Not me though. I've seen my sisters and my nephews twice. I have to ask for a permit to go there where I basically lie saying I need to do some essential shit. My parents zero times. They live in Spain where I was supposed to go (and then to Glasto). I've seen my best friend once. He walked 8 miles (not allowed to use public transport without a permit) avoiding controls and police to come and see me. That's pretty much all the social interaction I've had, not counting my wife going out for essentials. Oh, my wife works for a company that sells Princess Cruises packages...so you can imagine that situation.

Again, after some time the media just couldn't really give a shit about deaths or the actual virus. Every news has a political point of view. Pandemic is being used just as any other thing to be against or with the government. The left is for lockdown, the right is claiming they are being deprived of their freedom. They just had a massive march to protest against lockdown. Inflation is out of control. 

It may seem stupid but the thing that makes me super anxious is not knowing what will happen to live music events. I refuse to accept these socially distanced gigs. Sorry, but no. Also, traveling. The two things I love the most, just taken away completely. It's frustrating not having any idea what will happen. It feels like there's nothing to hold on to to keep you sane. To me, these two things were them. 

Oh, I fucking hate wearing a mask. It makes my face all spotty like a teenage kid. I also have quite a few grey hairs in my head even though I'm 37. Grey hair and acne is just plain cruel. 😂

Anyway, I hope you're doing as well as possible. It's gonna pass.





 

Edited by Calvin Klein
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1 hour ago, Tartan_Glasto said:

Thanks for your replies guys. It actually helps hearing some people are feeling the same. 

I guess part of the problem is that I really have no idea what I want to do. I'd love to do something with baking as it's the one thing I am pretty good at. However, it's a fairly saturated market and would take a while to get to a position where I could live off it. 

Feck it, while writing this post I've just ordered a haul of new baking supplies. I guess a small step towards doing something positive is better than no step at all.

See, this is why this place is so good. The Glastonbury hospitality lives on even when the festival doesn't. I vented on here cause it felt easier than telling people I know and now I do feel better. Maybe this feeling is short lived but I'll take it for now :)

I've been feeling the same too - and doing that thing which you're not supposed to do, "comparing myself with others". Just feels like everyone I know is in a job/career they either love or are amazing at, or are bored but at least super successful and loaded with cash. And here's me watching the pennies in a job that is at best frustrating and worst down-right soul-crushing.

I have recently 'qualified' as a counsellor, but I don't feel in any way ready or in a position enough to actually set up my own practice, so for now I'm still volunteering - which I love but is taking a toll on my free-time at present and I feel like I've hardly got space to think. 

So a few weeks ago I thought "you know what, I'm good at cross stitching. I'm creative. I know the craft market is saturated right now, but people might like what I bring to the table", so I bought a book and started drawing up some designs. I plan just to make a few of each, pop 'em on Etsy and see if they sell. We all have to start somewhere :) best of luck with the baking!

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