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How do you feel?


Matt42
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1 minute ago, kalifire said:

Thanks, @Wellyboot. It was a stressful day, no doubt. Weirdly though, when the removalists turned up, I lost all sense of sadness. It was pure logistics at that point and even when my mind threw me some memories to feel sad about, as it has a tendency to do, I was fine. There was just so much to coordinate and supervise.

I'm doing OK. The sadness has turned from more or less constant because of the relentless triggers of living with the person you've just broken up with, to less regular but perhaps slightly more intense moments of fleeting pain as my mind encourages me to consider memories and happier times. I hope those become less frequent and less intense.

Right now I'm just trying to focus on the new place. Building it up, concentrating on the future, etc.

I'm so pleased your move went well, been thinking about you! 

Hopefully soon you'll feel sad less often but having the new place to set up and make your home is a good distraction and something positive to focus on :)

Always here if you need anyone to talk to. Keep strong cos you are doing brilliantly! 

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1 hour ago, crazyfool1 said:

good to see you back ... I was getting concerned for a while there :) .... im off for my bloods at drs now and hopefully an antibody test ... if they let me ....

Keep us in the loop. We’re all hoping the best for you.

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4 minutes ago, kalifire said:

Keep us in the loop. We’re all hoping the best for you.

Damn .., no antibody tests at my surgery apparently yet ... I almost want to have had it and then I know I’ve got a chance of surviving the bloody thing ... ah well the wait goes on ... 

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1 hour ago, kalifire said:

Thanks, @Wellyboot. It was a stressful day, no doubt. Weirdly though, when the removalists turned up, I lost all sense of sadness. It was pure logistics at that point and even when my mind threw me some memories to feel sad about, as it has a tendency to do, I was fine. There was just so much to coordinate and supervise.

I'm doing OK. The sadness has turned from more or less constant because of the relentless triggers of living with the person you've just broken up with, to less regular but perhaps slightly more intense moments of fleeting pain as my mind encourages me to consider memories and happier times. I hope those become less frequent and less intense.

Right now I'm just trying to focus on the new place. Building it up, concentrating on the future, etc.

They do - I had the same a few years back and it changes pretty quickly without the triggers! One thing I found helped was not having tooo much about on display that could trigger those memories. I had to get rid of a Glastonbury canvas print for that reason. 

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On 6/14/2020 at 9:04 AM, Neil said:

not doing a support bubble, but have just arranged to go and see my vulnerable 85 year old mum next week.

It seems like a good idea as it will have the lowest chance of me unknowingly infecting her for at-least several months, because a person in my house is about to start back at their public-facing work so might bring it home with them.

I'm very confident that the risk to my mum will be zero, yet it's still a huge worry. :( 

 

On 6/14/2020 at 9:32 AM, crazyfool1 said:

As above ... we are all putting ourselves under these kind of really tough emotional decisions at the moment ... as previously stated I visited my folks a few weeks back when I was at my absolute lowest risk to them .... I choose to see them after id been isolating ... it was the right choice for them and me , and I will see them at least once more before I return to work .... after that im not sure ..... try not to beat yourself up about things like this .... The bubble thing I think has made many things tougher and divisive ... if you decide to go by the rules im sure this will only last a few weeks before the bubbles start getting bigger as things start to open up ... stay safe and stay sensible ...

So, my LM has suggested that we meet up somewhere for a chat tomorrow. Might be good for me to have some contact with someone, apparently. 

As you both say, tough decisions. Pretty sure it's not too risky (if at all). But why take the risk of bringing something home with me?

It's the hypocrisy of it that's confusing me. You can't come to work 'cause isolation reasons (even if you wanted to), but hey, let's meet up. Plus (after much back and forth) we had established that I am supposed to be on leave (and, after the way I've been mucked about, I may well seek advice from the Union about that).

I replied that we can have a phone chat and see where it goes from there...

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2 minutes ago, MrZigster said:

 

So, my LM has suggested that we meet up somewhere for a chat tomorrow. Might be good for me to have some contact with someone, apparently. 

As you both say, tough decisions. Pretty sure it's not too risky (if at all). But why take the risk of bringing something home with me?

It's the hypocrisy of it that's confusing me. You can't come to work 'cause isolation reasons (even if you wanted to), but hey, let's meet up. Plus (after much back and forth) we had established that I am supposed to be on leave (and, after the way I've been mucked about, I may well seek advice from the Union about that).

I replied that we can have a phone chat and see where it goes from there...

I think id take the option of meeting up .... you can do it safely outside to show willing  ..... but if you are on leave then im sure that they will appreciate you taking it .... my company are getting quite difficult about us booking holiday at the moment ... with dificulties getting it all in at the end of the holiday year ..... leave I would imagine still needs to be honoured 

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6 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

I think id take the option of meeting up .... you can do it safely outside to show willing  ..... but if you are on leave then im sure that they will appreciate you taking it .... my company are getting quite difficult about us booking holiday at the moment ... with dificulties getting it all in at the end of the holiday year ..... leave I would imagine still needs to be honoured 

Found this regarding leave earlier:

Quote

CAN I BE MADE TO TAKE ANNUAL LEAVE WHILE I AM ON FURLOUGH?

The government guidance on holiday entitlement states, “If an employer requires a worker to take holiday while on furlough, the employer should consider whether any restrictions the worker is under, such as the need to socially distance or self-isolate, would prevent the worker from resting.” 

The fundamental purpose of holiday is “to ensure that workers receive time off work to rest and recover and enjoy leisure facilities.” Workers on sick leave cannot be required to take holiday while they are sick because the purpose of sick leave is to enable the worker to recover from illness. Those who are shielding or clinically vulnerable are in a comparable position and should not be made to take holiday during furlough. A worker in this position should make clear to their employer that they object to being required to take holiday because they will not be able to enjoy a period of relaxation and leisure and contact their union representative for advice.

https://www.thompsonstradeunion.law/news/news-releases/our-firm-news/briefing-on-employer-and-employees-responsibilities-on-returning-to-work-in-the-wake-of-coronavirus-covid-19-no7

...but as we said earlier I don't really want to extract the urine.

I'm a bit worried about getting future days off for rescheduled gigs, as I haven't been at work to be able to book them. It'd be the height of irony if I can't get next year off for Glastonbury when I've been sat on my arse for it this year. 

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1 minute ago, MrZigster said:

When are you off 'till now then. I take it you're not back at work yet? Or is this future leave?

at the moment ive got 7 days notice after boris makes an announcement about vulnerable / shielders,  thats due sometime this week .... after that ive still got my Glastonbury leave booked .... so that will take us to early july ... unless Boris tells us its going to be later than that ... thats what im currently expecting ... 

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47 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

Feeling quite sad waking up today at the time those lovely gates would be opening in a weeks time .... 

I'm feeling this too although I'm still very sore from appendicitis and a little bit glad I'm not going next week.

What's keeping me going is that in 12 days it will all be over, whether it was happening or not the countdown will be on for 2021! 

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Just now, gmb1992 said:

I'm feeling this too although I'm still very sore from appendicitis and a little bit glad I'm not going next week.

What's keeping me going is that in 12 days it will all be over, whether it was happening or not the countdown will be on for 2021! 

absolutely ... its just an early fallow with added bonus of Extra coverage on the Tv and radio ..... My blood sugar has been horrendous of late and Glastonbury would have been a nightmare ... so maybe a blessing in disguise 

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I had not been feeling too sad up until now. For one, I didn’t have a ticket, and I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about what we knew of the line up. But now we are coming up to the summer solstice. I usually travel over a little early and spend some pre-fest time in Glastonbury town or some other scenic place in the area. Although I didn’t have a Glasto ticket I was going to go to three other festivals this summer - all cancelled of course. It is only really hitting me now.

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21 hours ago, Watergirl said:

I had not been feeling too sad up until now. For one, I didn’t have a ticket, and I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about what we knew of the line up. But now we are coming up to the summer solstice. I usually travel over a little early and spend some pre-fest time in Glastonbury town or some other scenic place in the area. Although I didn’t have a Glasto ticket I was going to go to three other festivals this summer - all cancelled of course. It is only really hitting me now.

Same. 

Less than a week away. Would be waking up on site, probably a bit hungover but feeling completely fabulous. I might be in the queue for the long drops right now... **Sigh**

 

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Looks like myself (in Liverpool), my parents (in Plymouth) and my brother/sister-in-law/nephew (in Woking) are going to try and get together next Sunday. The most middling point for us is somewhere around Gloucester.

In a way it will be lovely to be looking forward to seeing them (weather dependent, as we'll need to be outside) but it's just not the way I wanted to be reunited with them. It's going to be so hard spending a few hours with them - at a distance - and then just turning around and driving away again. 

Fuck this whole thing.

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I think I have too much of my well-being tied up in the festival season. I can barely watch my favorite concerts from Glastonbury, 'cause I get this existensial dread that I will never experience that feeling ever again.

Knowing that most of the tickets for next year are already gone makes it suck even more.

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1 hour ago, WestCountryGirl said:

Looks like myself (in Liverpool), my parents (in Plymouth) and my brother/sister-in-law/nephew (in Woking) are going to try and get together next Sunday. The most middling point for us is somewhere around Gloucester.

In a way it will be lovely to be looking forward to seeing them (weather dependent, as we'll need to be outside) but it's just not the way I wanted to be reunited with them. It's going to be so hard spending a few hours with them - at a distance - and then just turning around and driving away again. 

Fuck this whole thing.

Shit ain't it? Am in a similar boat myself.

I'm in Liverpool too but all my family are far away and I don't drive. I was hoping by now we'd be able to visit and stay over at people's houses. Had planned to go to my mum's and hang out there for a few days. We were going to get some booze in, do a BBQ and party food, and then we'd watch the sets.

 

Looks like that won't be happening =\

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On 6/13/2020 at 6:37 PM, Ozanne said:

It’s just that it’s the first day of this support bubble and the people I was going to do it with went and saw someone else. Kind of makes me feel a bit worthless. I’ll get over it though, thanks for the kind words.

Only just seen this, so a bit late to the discussion, but really sorry to hear this. That sucks. Hope you get to see them soon if you haven't already. It's really shit when you feel like you're the only one trying to follow the rules, which is increasingly how I feel at the moment. And it's not because I'm scared of catching it personally, I'm just really trying not to be part of the problem in keeping it spreading. 

4 hours ago, WestCountryGirl said:

Looks like myself (in Liverpool), my parents (in Plymouth) and my brother/sister-in-law/nephew (in Woking) are going to try and get together next Sunday. The most middling point for us is somewhere around Gloucester.

In a way it will be lovely to be looking forward to seeing them (weather dependent, as we'll need to be outside) but it's just not the way I wanted to be reunited with them. It's going to be so hard spending a few hours with them - at a distance - and then just turning around and driving away again. 

Fuck this whole thing.

I completely get this. Speaking to friends and colleagues, I think we are in the minority in that we haven't seen anyone we know at all since mid-March (no car, no one lives local, avoiding public transport). And now we're about to start tentatively doing it I feel quite reticent. I think it's going to be weird and not quite what everyone wants, which is not a reason not to do it, but the whole thing is cloaked in anxiety for me. I also think there's definitely an element of it having been just myself and my partner for so long now that we feel quite safe and secure in our little bubble and have started to become quite antisocial!

Both our sets of parents are drivable in a day (by him – I don't drive!) so we are planning our first trip next Friday to visit his, along with his brother and partner, all sitting in his parents' garden. So we really need the weather to be good. And then we have to think about what we'll do regarding food and cleaning the toilet etc. We never go to visit his parents without making a weekend of it, so it will be so odd to have a fleeting visit, but I guess better than nothing. And then I think we'll do the same with my parents a couple of weeks later.

I do feel like we are being so much more stringent with this than most other people are, which is hard. His parents have been socialising in their garden for weeks now, before they were allowed to and even when one of them was supposed to be shielding post-op. Which is so frustrating. I think they think we are being really weird about it, but they both have health issues and we are just trying to do the right thing.

A friend of mine has offered to drive over to see me the Sunday after and again I feel conflicted. We can go to the park, but there are no toilets, so I guess it makes more sense to sit in our garden but then she and her kids will have to use the loo, which is fine, but it just all makes it more complicated. My social life before always revolved around visiting my friends in pubs and restaurants really, so this all feels hard to navigate.

Anyway, long post. Feeling in quite a weird place at the moment and strangely finding it harder as lockdown eases than I did at its peak.

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All over the shop today. Tonight would have been my fly out date for MCR in MK, some London Drinks, and then to the farm but being down over that is being balanced by it being Day 1 of loosening restrictions  in Singapore where I’ll get to socialise with another household and drink in a pub for the first time since mid-March.

Nailed on to get drunk and then go home and watch Radiohead 2017

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20 hours ago, Zoo Music Girl said:

Anyway, long post. Feeling in quite a weird place at the moment and strangely finding it harder as lockdown eases than I did at its peak.

I completely get all of that. In a way I feel a lot of people would think that we're being silly to still be following the rules but we also just don't want to take any undue risks. My boyfriend and I have seen a few friends and his family out and about which has been nice, but I'll admit we've kind of given up on keeping "a distance" from people when we're walking with them and outside. 

My family have all agreed basically that we just have to do our own risk assessment, and we're all pretty sure that we'll be together at the end of July, with as much isolating from others before then as is possible. 

One thing that did give me some hope was that I saw a video of my cousin on her 40th birthday the other day, being greeted by a convoy of friends driving down her road. It just reminded me that a lot of people are still observing the rules, and things are not 'back to normal' for everyone, yet.

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