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6 hours ago, Homer said:

I’m going for a pie every day. Today’s offering: Pieminister chicken, ham and leek. Pieminister is from my hometown of Bristol and one of my colleagues just sent me a chart saying Brizzle is the UK’s #1 pie loving city.

If I was more witty I would come up with "Bristol Pie Chart" joke and some clever 'Scatt' reference

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6 hours ago, Homer said:

I’m going for a pie every day. Today’s offering: Pieminister chicken, ham and leek. Pieminister is from my hometown of Bristol and one of my colleagues just sent me a chart saying Brizzle is the UK’s #1 pie loving city.

If I was more witty I would come up with "Bristol Pie Chart" joke and some clever 'Scatt' reference

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A long, long time ago a traveller searching for himself heard about a thing called 'poi', which was allegedly the food of the Gods. Intrigued, the traveller sought to not only find but to eat this poi. What was this poi, he wondered. What could it be.

So, he travelled many lands and asked many questions of many people about 'poi' - the eternal food of the Gods. He climbed mountainous terrain, trekked through treacherous jungles, etc. Then one day while in Nepal he asked the same question that he had asked a million times before of a passerby - ' Do you know where I can find and eat poi, the eternal food of the Gods. The passerby said ' Yes, I do. All you have to do is climb that mountain (pointing to a mountain) and up to the temple at the top, and if you succeed they will serve you poi.

So, up the sheer face of the mountain he climbed, and eventually reached the temple at the top. On his hands and knees he crawled towards the temple. The religious folk of the temple saw his plight and rushed out to him and asked him 'Why on earth have you made this trecherous trek to be here'? The man answered 'I have travelled for many a year, and traversed many a country, just to eat poi, the eternal food of the Gods. Is iot true that I can eat poi here, and if so will you give me some poi'?

The religious folk had no hesitation and a cry for 'Dave the chef to come out and feed this suffering man poi, the eternal food of the Gods'. So then a bloke called Dave from the Black Country came out and said to the man 'What kind of poi would you like. We've got steak and kidney poi, cottage poi, we've got apply poi for afters'?

 

Having to write all that out was cruel, but necessary. It's one of my mates favourite jokes, so had to be done.

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On 3/2/2021 at 7:05 PM, Homer said:

I’m going for a pie every day. Today’s offering: Pieminister chicken, ham and leek. Pieminister is from my hometown of Bristol and one of my colleagues just sent me a chart saying Brizzle is the UK’s #1 pie loving city.

If you're doing a pie every day pal I reccomend you try a Wigan Kebab. Much tastier than it sounds and looks. When I used to live that way I used to get one once a week from The Heart Attack Shack. My heartburn couldn't cope with it but every week I'd forget.

Screenshot_20210303-213811_Firefox.jpg

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26 minutes ago, SheffJeff said:

If you're doing a pie every day pal I reccomend you try a Wigan Kebab. Much tastier than it sounds and looks. When I used to live that way I used to get one once a week from The Heart Attack Shack. My heartburn couldn't cope with it but every week I'd forget.

Screenshot_20210303-213811_Firefox.jpg

I watched this recently and had never heard of a "Wigan Kebab" or a "Pea Wet" which surprised me being a Yorkshireman 

 

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7 minutes ago, OG said:

I watched this recently and had never heard of a "Wigan Kebab" or a "Pea Wet" which surprised me being a Yorkshireman 

 

To be honest I've never heard of a 'smack barm pey wet' either but I'm aching to try one. Struggle to believe its better than a pie barm though! I do remember when I first moved to Sheffield asking my new house mate to get me a 'Babby's Head' from the chippy and the look he gave me suggested he'd definitely be locking his door that night. Never understood why they seem to only be a Lancashire thing when they are so fucking tasty.

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16 minutes ago, SheffJeff said:

To be honest I've never heard of a 'smack barm pey wet' either but I'm aching to try one. Struggle to believe its better than a pie barm though! I do remember when I first moved to Sheffield asking my new house mate to get me a 'Babby's Head' from the chippy and the look he gave me suggested he'd definitely be locking his door that night. Never understood why they seem to only be a Lancashire thing when they are so fucking tasty.

Is it a Pie or a Pudding?

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4 minutes ago, OG said:

Is it a Pie or a Pudding?

It's a pudding so no good for pie week! Thinking about it though I'll be pissed off if sheffield chippies have done steak puddings all this time but I wrote them off 25 years ago because no one new what a babbys head was then. Its dawning on me that that is a possibility.

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2 hours ago, Wellyboot said:

That is so lovely of you but I need details please sir!! 😊

Last evening out for a walk we noticed a sheep halfway up a steep banking in the field across the wee river than runs outside our house. This morning the poor thing was still there and all his wee sheepy pals had wandered back up to the farm for breakfast. Mrs C demanded I see what was wrong. So I put on the Glasto wellies, waded across the river, through the muddy field twice sinking into the bog. A bit like Glastonbury 2016. Clambered up the banking to the sheep, heavily pregnant I reckon, and tried to coax it down. Managed to give her a gentle shove and she slithered down to the path and strolled unconcerned back home.  Covered in mud with two wellies full of water I returned home in triumph. 

FC677760-AB40-4730-A948-B2160B52F5D6.jpeg.3ce81438c5391950943e0f5e842d3b73.jpeg

Edited by Ayrshire Chris
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8 minutes ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

Last evening out for a walk we noticed a sheep halfway up a steep banking in the field across the wee river than runs outside our house. This morning the poor thing was still there and all his wee sheepy pals had wandered back up to the farm for breakfast. Mrs C demanded I see what was wrong. So I put on the Glasto wellies, waded across the river, through the muddy field twice sinking into the bog. A bit like Glastonbury 2016. Clambered up the banking to the sheep, heavily pregnant I reckon, and tried to coax it down. Managed to give her a gentle shove and she slithered down to the path and strolled unconcerned back home.  Covered in mud with two wellies full of water I returned home in triumph. 

I was concerned that this was going to be a lamb pie story.....

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On 3/3/2021 at 3:00 AM, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

A long, long time ago a traveller searching for himself heard about a thing called 'poi', which was allegedly the food of the Gods. Intrigued, the traveller sought to not only find but to eat this poi. What was this poi, he wondered. What could it be.

So, he travelled many lands and asked many questions of many people about 'poi' - the eternal food of the Gods. He climbed mountainous terrain, trekked through treacherous jungles, etc. Then one day while in Nepal he asked the same question that he had asked a million times before of a passerby - ' Do you know where I can find and eat poi, the eternal food of the Gods. The passerby said ' Yes, I do. All you have to do is climb that mountain (pointing to a mountain) and up to the temple at the top, and if you succeed they will serve you poi.

So, up the sheer face of the mountain he climbed, and eventually reached the temple at the top. On his hands and knees he crawled towards the temple. The religious folk of the temple saw his plight and rushed out to him and asked him 'Why on earth have you made this trecherous trek to be here'? The man answered 'I have travelled for many a year, and traversed many a country, just to eat poi, the eternal food of the Gods. Is iot true that I can eat poi here, and if so will you give me some poi'?

The religious folk had no hesitation and a cry for 'Dave the chef to come out and feed this suffering man poi, the eternal food of the Gods'. So then a bloke called Dave from the Black Country came out and said to the man 'What kind of poi would you like. We've got steak and kidney poi, cottage poi, we've got apply poi for afters'?

 

Having to write all that out was cruel, but necessary. It's one of my mates favourite jokes, so had to be done.

"It's one of my mates favourite jokes"

🙄

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9 hours ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

I rescued a stranded sheep today 

A family story goes, that many years ago, before I was born, my dear old dad rescued a pig from the local canal. The story also goes that the pig did not ‘survive’ very long 🥓 

On a separate note, when I was young my pet rabbit ‘escaped’ and ran off. Dear old dad made a lovely stew that night to cheer me up.

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