Stupid but not stupid Questions ... glastonbury 2020

[balti-pie]

6 hours ago, crazyfool1 said:

Think we've discussed these luxury toilets under the trees on many occasions  

Which I’m fairly sure makes us poop brothers ????

[Crazyfool01]

47 minutes ago, balti-pie said:

Which I’m fairly sure makes us poop brothers ????

as long as you aren't a scruncher  

[stuartbert two hats]

Bidets are the best way.

[Ayrshire Chris]

4 minutes ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Bidets are the best way.

After Brexit bidets will be banned. Nasty foreign things, it will be  back to the shiny Izal medicated single sheet paper. And it Can used as tracing paper! 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

28 minutes ago, Ayrshire Chris said:

After Brexit bidets will be banned. Nasty foreign things, it will be  back to the shiny Izal medicated single sheet paper. And it Can used as tracing paper! 

 

I remember the stuff well, from my primary school days. For those too young to know, it was a supposed toilet paper, made from sheets of what could pass for tracing paper. It was also Holy Hell on earth to use the stuff, as it was non absorbent, and simply slid off your ring piece, time and time again, but had no humanely observable effect in removing the shite from your arse. You could technically use rolls and rolls of the stuff for days on end, but actually be exactly where you were when you made the decision to actually clean your chocolate starfish. 

Oh, the reminder of this has set my therapy back years.

[balti-pie]

Bum guns - like the Middle East and Asia have in abundance - are absolutely amazing. It’s a delight using one when you’ve got the hang. Much recommended. If I ever manage to buy a house (???? on NHS wages ????) the first thing I’ll install will be a bum gun. 

[stuartbert two hats]

17 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

 

I remember the stuff well, from my primary school days. For those too young to know, it was a supposed toilet paper, made from sheets of what could pass for tracing paper. It was also Holy Hell on earth to use the stuff, as it was non absorbent, and simply slid off your ring piece, time and time again, but had no humanely observable effect in removing the shite from your arse. You could technically use rolls and rolls of the stuff for days on end, but actually be exactly where you were when you made the decision to actually clean your chocolate starfish. 

Oh, the reminder of this has set my therapy back years.

Fuck. That must be the useless stuff they had in my primary school.

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

8 hours ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Fuck. That must be the useless stuff they had in my primary school.

Almost definitely. I'm surprised that you don't remember the brand name. It's etched in to the part of my brain which stores information about things which are just plain wrong, unholy, and crimes against humanity. 

[shuttlep]

20 hours ago, crazyfool1 said:

ive got soul but im not a soldier  

I remember watching the Killers in 2005 on the pyramid when they were at the height of their powers. such a good set. they were third from the top or something like that. after that I refuse to watch them again, They cant get better than that especially since they haven't  done anything new, 

 

 

I mean Sam's Town was a better album than hot fuzz all round , just didn't have the anthems on it 

 

 

so unless they do another banging album, ( I cant see that happening , hope they surprise me though)

 

I will never watch them again 

[shuttlep]

10 hours ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Bidets are the best way.

I miss my Bidet, I mean what are you supposed to do when you have a brown crayon?

[Quark]

9 hours ago, stuartbert two hats said:

Fuck. That must be the useless stuff they had in my primary school.

It's the stuff they had in everyone's primary school. That wonderful combination of a crease being sharp enough to slice your bum and yet only ever being good at moving the poop around without actually removing it.

And on the topic of bidets, so last century.  Discovered the automatic bum toilets when we went to Japan this year. An absolute game changer, although the unerring accuracy can only be explained by the damn things being camera-operated. Which is a view of what arguably be one of the worst jobs in the world.

[stuie]

10 minutes ago, shuttlep said:

They cant get better than that especially since they haven't  done anything new, 

Apart from their number one UK and US album in 2017?

Or the 3 other number one albums they've made since you saw them in 2005?

Edited November 15, 2019 by stuie

[Ayrshire Chris]

10 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

 

I remember the stuff well, from my primary school days. For those too young to know, it was a supposed toilet paper, made from sheets of what could pass for tracing paper. It was also Holy Hell on earth to use the stuff, as it was non absorbent, and simply slid off your ring piece, time and time again, but had no humanely observable effect in removing the shite from your arse. You could technically use rolls and rolls of the stuff for days on end, but actually be exactly where you were when you made the decision to actually clean your chocolate starfish. 

Oh, the reminder of this has set my therapy back years.

Just knew by mentioning the dreaded izal it would out those whose primary school life was blighted by the horrors of using this stuff. Of course those were the days before a fibre diet was popular so possibly that mitigated the problems!  We had it in single sheets in a cardboard container. That caused more tissue issues. We are in danger of turning this into a monty python sketch!   Izal, you were lucky we had to use the daily mirror etc etc 

[Yoghurt on a Stick]

A brief history of Izal;

https://s10probus.co.uk/the-history-of-izal-joan-jones-7th-march-2016/

[shuttlep]

1 hour ago, stuie said:

Apart from their number one UK and US album in 2017?

Or the 3 other number one albums they've made since you saw them in 2005?

the albums were so good I have never heard of them . Sam's Town was the best they have done I will go and listen to their 2017 album but I am not holding out for anything good from it . 

 

 

just looked in to Wonderful Wonderful released in 2017. it did make no 1 in the UK sadly no single reached more than 64 in the chart. ( sad demise of the single) still didn't hear anything on the radio. but I do only listen to radio 4 , talk sport and radio 6 I absolutely deplore commercial radio stations like XFM and radio 1 . I will still give it a listen, still not holding out too much from it , 

Edited November 15, 2019 by shuttlep

[scaryclaireyfairy]

The only time I can recall scrunching was with Izal. Scrunch and dab.

[DareToDibble]

11 hours ago, Quark said:

It's the stuff they had in everyone's primary school. That wonderful combination of a crease being sharp enough to slice your bum and yet only ever being good at moving the poop around without actually removing it.

And on the topic of bidets, so last century.  Discovered the automatic bum toilets when we went to Japan this year. An absolute game changer, although the unerring accuracy can only be explained by the damn things being camera-operated. Which is a view of what arguably be one of the worst jobs in the world.

  

 

So I was laughing at this post and my girlfriend asked what I found so funny. Had to explain the fact we were discussing folding or scrunching toilet paper.

Anyway turns out she’s a weirdo (scruncher) and will now spend the next hour being taught the benefits of folding.

[HalfAnIdiot]

Well this thread went to shit pretty quickly

?

[MrZigster]

27 minutes ago, HalfAnIdiot said:

Well this thread went to shit pretty quickly

?

Brilliant @HalfAnIdiot.

Can't believe I've just waded through two pages of a "How do you wipe your arse?" debate.

Well. Somebody asked so here I go:

I think I was taught/potty trained to scrunch, but now kind of make a roll around my outstretched fingers. Ultimately it ends up as a fold I guess. I do worry that this method may use too much paper and is bad for the environment.

Whilst at Glastonbury, has anyone else tried wet pipes followed by paper? Kind of made sense at the time. I wouldn't use wet wipes anyehere else, but... Not showering properly, so double up down there? A douche then a dry? Do not try this. One, wet wipes are bad, mKay. Two, I ended up with a bad case of the farmers. Proper ouch. (Correllation is, of course, not necessarily causation).

A friend of a friend of mine is a sex worker. I have heard stories. There plenty of grown adults who, evidently, literally cannot wipe their own arses properly. Tagnuts and dangleberrys and stained cacks aplenty apparently (yes that was cacks).

School days Izal was rumoured to be the same stuff that was used in prisons and the entire civil service for years. That the government had bought so much stock in bulk and that's why we had to suffer for years with that stuff. Roll or Fold = possible cut cheeks.

Ultimately, we are all putting our hands near our arses when we ablute.

So whatever your prefered method. Pee or Poo  Please put your hands under a tap afterwards.

Cross transferance is a thing and food poisoning can kill. It's like Florence Nightingales legacy went to waste otherwise.

/preachyrant

 

[lingle]

8 hours ago, MrZigster said:

Brilliant @HalfAnIdiot.

Can't believe I've just waded through two pages of a "How do you wipe your arse?" debate.

Well. Somebody asked so here I go:

I think I was taught/potty trained to scrunch, but now kind of make a roll around my outstretched fingers. Ultimately it ends up as a fold I guess. I do worry that this method may use too much paper and is bad for the environment.

Whilst at Glastonbury, has anyone else tried wet pipes followed by paper? Kind of made sense at the time. I wouldn't use wet wipes anyehere else, but... Not showering properly, so double up down there? A douche then a dry? Do not try this. One, wet wipes are bad, mKay. Two, I ended up with a bad case of the farmers. Proper ouch. (Correllation is, of course, not necessarily causation).

A friend of a friend of mine is a sex worker. I have heard stories. There plenty of grown adults who, evidently, literally cannot wipe their own arses properly. Tagnuts and dangleberrys and stained cacks aplenty apparently (yes that was cacks).

School days Izal was rumoured to be the same stuff that was used in prisons and the entire civil service for years. That the government had bought so much stock in bulk and that's why we had to suffer for years with that stuff. Roll or Fold = possible cut cheeks.

Ultimately, we are all putting our hands near our arses when we ablute.

So whatever your prefered method. Pee or Poo  Please put your hands under a tap afterwards.

Cross transferance is a thing and food poisoning can kill. It's like Florence Nightingales legacy went to waste otherwise.

/preachyrant

 

And remember to use carbolic soap! 

[philipsteak]

12 hours ago, DareToDibble said:

  

 

So I was laughing at this post and my girlfriend asked what I found so funny. Had to explain the fact we were discussing folding or scrunching toilet paper.

Anyway turns out she’s a weirdo (scruncher) and will now spend the next hour being taught the benefits of folding.

You think you know someone...

[henry bear]

On a different note, why is it that the eFests Glastonbury pages tend to be very quiet at the weekend, and a flurry of activity between the hours 9-5pm Monday to Friday? ?

[Crazyfool01]

Just now, henry bear said:

On a different note, why is it that the eFests Glastonbury pages tend to be very quiet at the weekend, and a flurry of activity between the hours 9-5pm Monday to Friday? ?

because most people it seems come on here whilst they should be working ... theres a thread on it somewhere in the first few pages  

[dotdash79]

What year did the opening ceremony start?

[Crazyfool01]

9 minutes ago, dotdash79 said:

What year did the opening ceremony start?

earliest record I can find on google is 2011 ... but surely its before that ?!

https://metro.co.uk/2011/06/23/glastonbury-festival-2011-kicks-off-with-opening-ceremony-at-stone-circle-54530/