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Thread for the drunkards


Bryanrebe
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As I'm sure some of you will be aware, I don't need to be drunk to post shite on efests. That said, I have, in the past, posted on here whilst spannered drunk, and drugged up. In fact, it's quite a common occurrence. That said, it is, unfortunately, not the case right now. I am working the problem though, so may be able to assist in the requirements of the original post later on tonight. 

Nice work Bryanrebe.  I'm hoping that this becomes the go to thread for all when they are intoxicated. It'll make for great reading, and for joining in. 

PS - I haven't had a smoke for ages and am gagging to do so. If it's alright with everybody, I'm going to use this thread to talk bollocks when I've had a smoke too. Strange and wonderful colliding thoughts go on in my head when I've had a drink and a smoke. I welcome the opportunity of trying to capture them in time to be able to write them down here.

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46 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

As I'm sure some of you will be aware, I don't need to be drunk to post shite on efests. That said, I have, in the past, posted on here whilst spannered drunk, and drugged up. In fact, it's quite a common occurrence. That said, it is, unfortunately, not the case right now. I am working the problem though, so may be able to assist in the requirements of the original post later on tonight. 

Nice work Bryanrebe.  I'm hoping that this becomes the go to thread for all when they are intoxicated. It'll make for great reading, and for joining in. 

PS - I haven't had a smoke for ages and am gagging to do so. If it's alright with everybody, I'm going to use this thread to talk bollocks when I've had a smoke too. Strange and wonderful colliding thoughts go on in my head when I've had a drink and a smoke. I welcome the opportunity of trying to capture them in time to be able to write them down here.

strangely enough I thought of you when I saw this thread  ... I love some of your tales :) 

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3 minutes ago, crazyfool1 said:

strangely enough I thought of you when I saw this thread  ... I love some of your tales :) 

Appreciated, thanks crazyfool1. 

I guess that medical experts would suggest that I refrain from my hedonistic self indulgences, but it's a case of 'I've come this far, so why stop?. as well as 'is the alternative really any better'? That said, after leaving the rat race 5 years ago, I now find that I need to re-join it. Having to do so, may very well put a stop to my uncontrolled antics. Mind you, towards the end of being at the last place I worked at, I actually found myself taking a psychedelic at my desk at 8am one working day morning. The problem was that it was one of those synthetic drugs that were available then, and I'd never taken it before, or even knew that it was a psychedelic. I just thought it would cheer me up, as I hated the place so much. It took all my cunning and expertise to extract myself that day from the working environment. This was especially difficult as i was due to drive a company car to another part of the country for a meeting. What hindered the situation more so, was that I found it impossible to communicate verbally, so couldn't ring the person that I was due to meet at the site in question. He himself, I knew, would be driving from yet another part of the country to meet me at the originally agreed position (somewhere near Stoke). To cut a long story short, I made good my get away from work, without any office staff saying anything, walked towards my house, ended up crawling the last bit, got in to my house, regained my speech and told my wife that I was having a very unusual psychotic moment, and asked her to call in sick for me, which she did. I couldn't stop or help the poor bloke who was driving to meet me. It is understandable that the next time he saw me, he was less than impressed, and told me so. 

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So it's lunchtime Friday here and I can gladly confirm I said "not today" to the God of Hangovers.

Thanks for all of the glitter advice, I'll take extra care not to get mud in my eye (shouldn't be an issue though, with all the sun we'll be having next year on the farm).

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4 hours ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

Appreciated, thanks crazyfool1. 

I guess that medical experts would suggest that I refrain from my hedonistic self indulgences, but it's a case of 'I've come this far, so why stop?. as well as 'is the alternative really any better'? That said, after leaving the rat race 5 years ago, I now find that I need to re-join it. Having to do so, may very well put a stop to my uncontrolled antics. Mind you, towards the end of being at the last place I worked at, I actually found myself taking a psychedelic at my desk at 8am one working day morning. The problem was that it was one of those synthetic drugs that were available then, and I'd never taken it before, or even knew that it was a psychedelic. I just thought it would cheer me up, as I hated the place so much. It took all my cunning and expertise to extract myself that day from the working environment. This was especially difficult as i was due to drive a company car to another part of the country for a meeting. What hindered the situation more so, was that I found it impossible to communicate verbally, so couldn't ring the person that I was due to meet at the site in question. He himself, I knew, would be driving from yet another part of the country to meet me at the originally agreed position (somewhere near Stoke). To cut a long story short, I made good my get away from work, without any office staff saying anything, walked towards my house, ended up crawling the last bit, got in to my house, regained my speech and told my wife that I was having a very unusual psychotic moment, and asked her to call in sick for me, which she did. I couldn't stop or help the poor bloke who was driving to meet me. It is understandable that the next time he saw me, he was less than impressed, and told me so. 

I can kind of relate, psychedelics aside. May not mean anything to you but drop me a dm sometime. Everyone needs a hand at times.

As strange as it sounds posting on a forum to, realistically, strangers, Im here for anyone if they need to chat

 

 

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6 minutes ago, Slugworth said:

I can kind of relate, psychedelics aside. May not mean anything to you but drop me a dm sometime. Everyone needs a hand at times.

As strange as it sounds posting on a forum to, realistically, strangers, Im here for anyone if they need to chat

 

 

That is a very kind offer, and very much appreciated. However, the scenario I was referring to took place a number of years ago. I have actually been lucky enough to self support my abstinence from work / the rat race for the last five years, so have not experienced that kind of depression for a while now. However, it's funny that you should, so graciously, reach out and offer the hand of friendship, as it recently transpired that I have to go back in to the rat race again (boo hoo). I must say that it's not exactly something I'm looking forward to. I did work at one place (not the afor mentioned) for 28 years, which were mostly quite happy years. However, that's because the job was mostly a doss, and from 2011, actually paid me to be on here. Not knowingly, of course.

I'm going to send you a DM shortly in any case.

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Great thread! Well Hello :) :) :) (Though I think this may me a trap to try and quarantine me from derailing other places). I've just had an unexpectedly great night down the pub. Expected to be there. Didn't expect to bump into an ex old (and slightly older) work colleague, who's still doing the same job I was made redundant from over a quarter of a century ago. (They were out on a retirement party night). Our shifts when we first worked together were: 12 hours on. 24 hours off.  For three weeks. Then we had a week off. We earned leave credits on top of that as well. We got almost cost price alcohol and fags. It was considered part of the wages and had been for generations. Their shifts are now live in, 1 week on, 1 week off. No going home even if you live close by. Complete alcohol ban during said week on. Nostalgia is so yin and yang. I have some brilliant rainbow and unicorn memories of those days, but also some right bitter and twisted ones as well. I wanted to reminisce all night about how things have changed so much, but had to leave as work tomorrow (well, now today). What could've been if x had or hadn't happened? That whole trousers of time debate. I've kind of landed on my feet relatively, but the amount of soul destroying shit I put up with in my younger days because I didn't know any better? Knowing what I know now I could've, should've , would've sued'em for loads. . . . How drunkard a post? 3 house (i.e. double) pub (i.e. not Smirnoff is it) vodka and lemonade with ice ("Do you want ice? Yes. That's why I said "with ice"). £6 Asda Prossecco


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What happened to my editing! I wasn't that drunk!




Edit: The above had paragraphs and took ages to write and format as I'm in this threads required state!




Seriously fuck. Makes me want to drink more. But I've run out.


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1 hour ago, MrZigster said:


Great thread! Well Hello :) :) :) (Though I think this may me a trap to try and quarantine me from derailing other places). I've just had an unexpectedly great night down the pub. Expected to be there. Didn't expect to bump into an ex old (and slightly older) work colleague, who's still doing the same job I was made redundant from over a quarter of a century ago. (They were out on a retirement party night). Our shifts when we first worked together were: 12 hours on. 24 hours off.  For three weeks. Then we had a week off. We earned leave credits on top of that as well. We got almost cost price alcohol and fags. It was considered part of the wages and had been for generations. Their shifts are now live in, 1 week on, 1 week off. No going home even if you live close by. Complete alcohol ban during said week on. Nostalgia is so yin and yang. I have some brilliant rainbow and unicorn memories of those days, but also some right bitter and twisted ones as well. I wanted to reminisce all night about how things have changed so much, but had to leave as work tomorrow (well, now today). What could've been if x had or hadn't happened? That whole trousers of time debate. I've kind of landed on my feet relatively, but the amount of soul destroying shit I put up with in my younger days because I didn't know any better? Knowing what I know now I could've, should've , would've sued'em for loads. . . . How drunkard a post? 3 house (i.e. double) pub (i.e. not Smirnoff is it) vodka and lemonade with ice ("Do you want ice? Yes. That's why I said "with ice"). £6 Asda Prossecco

 

Love some unexpected banter at the pub! Good effort on the booze, condolences on running out :(

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So I’m in Orlando for a Microsoft convention and have just been to universal studios where I played a drink (can) before each ride with a guy from Denver (I’m from m Cardiff). We managed 7 and I am currently having a wind down drink watching chvrches on James Corden thinking I like em and don’t care who knows it! 

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21 minutes ago, ShakeyCrash said:

 and I am currently having a wind down drink watching chvrches on James Corden thinking I like em and don’t care who knows it! 

It's not the watching of the Chvrches (who I know nothing of) that I find disturbing in that sentence. I don't know why, because i haven't exactly allowed myself to be over exposed to James Corden, but whenever I briefly see his face, I have this irrational, and probably most unfair, dislike of having had to witness having seen it. I'm sure there are many out there who would say the same about me. Even more so if I was a famous telly person. i don't like this trait, but it's there, and i really don't think that I have any control over it. I'm certainly not going to allow myself to be lashed in to a chair, and made to watch him on a large tv screen for hours on end, in someone's vain hope that I might be cured of these thoughts about him by getting a stiffy. 

 

I've said too much, haven't I? I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that I'm acting like a little school kid who pretends to hate James (get me calling him that) while secretly fancying him rotten.

I've said too much again, haven't I?

Brace yourselves, as this could go on for some time. Perhaps it does, and always will, in some small darkened corner of a time / space continuum.

OK, let's just cut to the chase - show us your cock James.. 

 

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42 minutes ago, Gregfc15 said:

I'm still an hour away from commencing Friday festivities, but in the spirit of this thread, I have a reputation for coming home steaming drunk and putting on old Glastonbury sets on the TV. I’m assuming I’m not alone in this?

 

Defiantly not alone! I have an extensive collection from 2009 onwards. They match with alcohol well!

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I shall check back later, I've a good feeling this may liven up. It's Friday. I'm going to a chums for Limoncello Jellies and some rather interesting Chocolate Brownies. I have Rum too, and something else. :ph34r:

I am hopeful that the conversation is better than,

 "I fuuuuucking loooooove youuuuuuuuuu,    your my best frieeend" 

 

Where's **Yoghurt, exceptional when *spangled.?

*I am not encouraging Yoghurt, nor anybody else to get spangled for the amusement of others. It's not big and it's not clever. :drinks:

** I realise that Yoghurt is aware now I've read all the posts, ?

 

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24 minutes ago, mashedonmud said:

I shall check back later, I've a good feeling this may liven up. It's Friday. I'm going to a chums for Limoncello Jellies and some rather interesting Chocolate Brownies. I have Rum too, and something else. :ph34r:

I am hopeful that the conversation is better than,

 "I fuuuuucking loooooove youuuuuuuuuu,    your my best frieeend" 

 

Where's **Yoghurt, exceptional when *spangled.?

*I am not encouraging Yoghurt, nor anybody else to get spangled for the amusement of others. It's not big and it's not clever. :drinks:

** I realise that Yoghurt is aware now I've read all the posts, ?

 

Hello mashedonmud,

I'm afraid that I have really rather let the side down on the spangled front of late. In my defence, I am forced to cite that it's all the fault of the River Severn bursting it's banks last week, and flooding our Airbnb cabin under two foot of water. Since the river receded, I have been forced to involve myself in the clean up operation. We lost a fair few quids worth of stuff, so that was a bit of a body blow. On top of that, we have cabin guests arriving tonight and staying for two nights. This meant we had to totally immerse ourselves (see what I did there?) in swinging it around from the disaster it has been, to where we are currently at now - which is about an hours more work to do, before the guests arrive.

To compound this problem / poor show, I can't really get spangled tonight either, although there may be some (hopefully significant) slippage on that front. We've got loads of friends coming over tomorrow night for a firework display that the rugby club next to our house puts on. My Lordy, but do they put a good fair bit of ordinance up in to the sky, which we can watch for free. However, this also means that I am going to be able (and willing) to make up for my recent poor performance of late, and fully expect to be fully demented (or, should that be 'further demented'?) by tomorrow night. On top of that, one of my mates has booked the Monday off, so it is our firm intention not to have the hair of the dog on Sunday, but to have its full pelt. This should end, i'd say, in the wee hours of Monday morning, if history is anything to go by. 

So, please do pull up a seat tomorrow night onwards, and I'll do my best to speak in tongues. I am really hoping that somebody brings some dope along too, as I find this the most excellent of lubricants to get the full value out of one's self abuse.

Wishing you a fine evening tonight, what with them there 'chocolate brownies'.

Also looking forward to future posts from the afflicted on this thread.   :)

 

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I feel like I need to create a thread for the unafflicted as I seem to have little opportunity for nights out / letting my hair down these days ... but its far more interesting observing this thread evolve ... its going to be interesting times ahead :) ... right nows where's my cider ...

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