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Sundance

Post-festival struggle/life advice needed please

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Hi everyone

First time thread-starter over here and I think this is going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness so sorry in advance if I ramble.

Does anyone here have an INCREDIBLY stressful job? I dream about work, it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, I’m miserable when I’m there and I’m there for about 11-12 hours a day. Glastonbury is a huge part of my life, my calendar literally revolves around it, and I think largely that’s because it’s the one place that I can fully let go and be at peace. It also shows me how happy it’s possible to be and how far away I am from that feeling day to day.

I’m not sure what i’m really asking here. But has anyone else been dealing with post-festival blues like this? Has anyone had a massive career change or have any advice for a 26 year old who’s really bloody struggling? 

Thanks in advance x

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I don't know your personal circumstances, but I've had jobs like that in the past (I'm 45) and when it got to the point that when I woke up every day and realised I was dreading going to work, I knew I had to make a change and started looking for another job.  I did manage to get another job, and my partner at the time said it was like night and day - I became a much nicer person to be around and took life a bit easier.

 

I realise 'just get another job' is a stupid and trite statement to make, but if your work environenemt is affecting you badly, see what you can change.

My current job has it's ups and downs, but I still enjoy the anticipation of just spending a week away from phones/customers/work colleagues/fucking meetings etc.

 

 

 

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Life's hard just got to get through as best as possible.. Change your job sounds easy as said above but maybe its the best way to go.... 

Glastonbury is important to most people but it can't and shouldn't be more important than day to day life.. 

As I've found out this year you have to roll with the blows and look forward to the good times but you have to make those good times yourself you can't wait 356 days just to be happy. 

I hope you find peace and tranquility soon 

 

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In my line of work I process both chlorine and phosgene gas on an industrial scale. Both of these gasses were used during the 1st World War to, well, gas the enemy. We are currently the only site in the UK licensed to process phosgene (No more licences will be issued to to it’s toxicity.) If anything was to go catastrophically wrong during processing I’m sure you can see what might happen. This in turn brings an element of stress throughout the shift....!! But yeh, love Glastonbury ‘n’ all that😀....

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Yup.  I'm looking at career path at the moment. Recommend the books Pivot and Essentialism, and the Career Relaunch podcast.

Ask yourself if you can cope in your current role. If you can, great,  use the security of a job to look at where you go next. If you cant, ask yourself if it's the role or the company that's killing you. If it's the company you can always look for alternatives elsewhere doing the same thing. If it's the role, talk to your HR dept or sound out some recruitment agencies for options with immediately transferable skills.

At 26 you're in a decent position to change before, I assume, you're too locked in with responsibilities. Make use of it, as it gets a lot harder later on. And unless you have to because of kids or similar, dont sacrifice your fucking sanity.

Edited by Quark
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Sounds like you're having a rotten time of things mate, obviously I don't know the circumstances or anything, so a bit limited in the advice I can give, always willing to listen if you wanna shoot me a pm though. Failing that, sending good vibes your way!

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34 minutes ago, Sundance said:

Hi everyone

First time thread-starter over here and I think this is going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness so sorry in advance if I ramble.

Does anyone here have an INCREDIBLY stressful job? I dream about work, it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, I’m miserable when I’m there and I’m there for about 11-12 hours a day. Glastonbury is a huge part of my life, my calendar literally revolves around it, and I think largely that’s because it’s the one place that I can fully let go and be at peace. It also shows me how happy it’s possible to be and how far away I am from that feeling day to day.

I’m not sure what i’m really asking here. But has anyone else been dealing with post-festival blues like this? Has anyone had a massive career change or have any advice for a 26 year old who’s really bloody struggling? 

Thanks in advance x

I started a job when I was a smidgen younger than you are now, and stayed there for 28 years. Within those years there were good times at work, and bad times too. At the end, I was holding on to my job by the finger nails, as I hated it so much - with one of the reasons for that being the stress of the job. I got lucky in the end, and managed to orchestrate my own redundancy - hoorah!

Anyway, after leaving that company (and after 28 years there), I soon learnt that there was a life outside of that company, and that that life could be a far better life than had I stayed. The questions that you ask are ones that I have, within myself, asked of myself ie. If I had my time all over again, would I have chosen the same path? The answer is a resounding 'No'. No, I wouldn't at all - as in, not in the slightest. It's a shame really to admit that you fucked up a good many years of your life, taking the pain, in order to feed something like a mortgage, when you could have been happier and fed the same thing - if that's your bag, or replace mortgage with anything else, as you so wish.

Given your young age, I would urge you not to get to my age and regret sucking up to the comfort that a stable, albeit stressful, job can provide. To my minds eye, now,  job satisfaction would be paramount. 

One final thing, which is a piece of advice my older brother told me - which I din't take heed of. He said to me that ' The graveyard is full of people who thought that they were indispensable'. The same applies with your job now. Don't think that the pat on your back from a boss for taking the stress 'means' anything. I'll tell you now that it does not. 

If you want happiness in a job environment, then you are going to have to go and find it, because it's very unlikely to come knocking at your door and say 'I've arrived'.  

I wish you all the very best. 

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There's a lot of pressure on people now to knuckle down and get the hell on with it - keep calm and carry on if you will - and it's resulted in some quite unpleasant situations.

You don't have to stay in them.

The limit of coping isn't the point before you literally break, it's the point where you still have a life - where you can still enjoy the process and share it with others. For some that can include work taking up every thinking moment and there's times work will just do that because life is constantly variable, but it's not how it should be for everyone all the time it's a balance to average over time that we have to find for ourselves. Work/business mostly wants maximum output and value from you and will push to find that giving little heed to the humanity of their resources; you have to do that bit - it's OK to say this is enough. You may have it easy living at home with everything provided or you may spend all your time caring for a disabled relative - they don't know, it's not their business - all that matters is you working out where that point is that this is as much of your life as they get before it is harmful to you.

Just sounds like you've worked out that balance is wrong for you at the moment, you can sort it though and it's no failing on your part doing so. Beats burning yourself out and reaching any of the messier ends I've seen for sure.

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I'm sorry. This also turned into a stream of consciousness thing. (Rant. I mean rant).

I feel you. Particularly your third paragraph.

I had a bit of a "during" the festival struggle myself this year. At my lowest I was seriously telling myself that I was going to section myself when I got home, or at the very least open up to my GP. All totally related to how I was at my favourite, the happiest, the best place I could possibly be, and had been waiting for this for two years, but was still getting miserable thinking about going back to shitty certain real life situations, and having no idea where to start doing what needs to be done to rectify said situations.

Possibly a lot to do with sleep deprivation, the heat, being there solo, volunteering conditions and the depressant effects of alcohol.

I'm the opposite with work I think. I don't particularly relish my job but it really is the most important thing in my life and honestly is the only thing that gets me out of bed some days. I'm hugely grateful that I am not just employed but in a reasonably paid job that many 'round my way would love. Without that pay packet and sense of purpose I think I would be even more lost.

Sorry I don't have much advice. Maybe talk to someone professional? I'm a hypocrite I know. It's hard work admitting you're struggling with day to day normality/the grind when everyone else seems to be getting on no bother.

One tip I do try to employ is to try to find beauty or humour in every situation. Stuck in a traffic jam? Well catch up on that album/ebook/check out that nice car next to you. Some prick in the supermarket queue/pub causing a scene? Well what a prick. Street theatre, what a pretentious lovey darling, right?

Work maybe busy, but busy means the time/shift passes quicker. Try to take pride in doing your job to the best of your ability.

If you are in a job where you genuinely have more work than you can physically or mentally keep up with, it is your employers/managers problem. Not yours.

I'm 51. I've been in my current job for almost 20 years. At around your age I was made redundant from a job I naively thought I would have for life (two generations of my family had jobs with the company from school until retirement). Went back to school and fucked that up (twice). Had a couple of jobs after that that I got fired from for nefarious reasons. I thought I'd never work again.

I've still (debatably) landed on my feet.

It's helped me typing that out. Hope it helps you @Sundance

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1 hour ago, Sundance said:

Hi everyone

First time thread-starter over here and I think this is going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness so sorry in advance if I ramble.

Does anyone here have an INCREDIBLY stressful job? I dream about work, it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up, I’m miserable when I’m there and I’m there for about 11-12 hours a day. Glastonbury is a huge part of my life, my calendar literally revolves around it, and I think largely that’s because it’s the one place that I can fully let go and be at peace. It also shows me how happy it’s possible to be and how far away I am from that feeling day to day.

I’m not sure what i’m really asking here. But has anyone else been dealing with post-festival blues like this? Has anyone had a massive career change or have any advice for a 26 year old who’s really bloody struggling? 

Thanks in advance x

Yeah I'm in a somewhat same situation (although I turned 27 a couple of weeks ago, cant believe you all forgot) with some differences.

I fucking love my job, or the idea of it at least. I've said since I was 10 years old I'm gonna make cartoons and I do that now so I'm lucky in that I've ended up with my number 2 dream job (I've put rockstar on hold). I hope that doesn't come across as bragging or anything, but it's probably important to mention. I'm streaming conscious like you ahah. But the project I've been on the last year has taken some serious toll on my mental health and the hours I've been working at points have been downright unhealthy. I do it to myself mainly coz I want it done and for it to look good but yeah the whole dreaming about work and then living it all day is something I definitely have.

We had a deadline to meet for the end of June so I had to work most weekends to get my bits done so I could have a stress free Glastonbury. The problem is, Glastonbury, for all its freedom and happiness while you're there, isnt rest. Getting back to work I felt exhausted and was right back in it instantly and still haven't recovered, physically mentally. It's so hard to get back on it as well when that thing you were working towards is over now and you're expected to continue to deliver without the carrot. 

I dont have any advice or even a point really, I feel like shit constantly and am worried about it frankly, but sometimes its nice to know other people feel like shit as well. So maybe this will help. Or not. It's too hot to sleep so you get this essay either way. 

I'm sure you'll get lots of lovely posts either side of this one, I hope someone can give you the advice you need. All the lovely people and feelings you experience at Glastonbury dont just remain there for another year till you return. They spread off and are harder to find but they're still about if you can find them.

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Jesus @MrZigster hope you’re ok chief after your little wobble at Glastonbury, and @Sundance, I didn’t mean to be churlish in my earlier reply. Yes, my job “can” be stressful but there are obviously a lot of safety measures in place to make sure that what I detailed “might” happen doesn’t actually happen. I’m quite happy in my job as it uses the old grey matter which I find quite rewarding. If I can just echo the sage advice of others in this thread, then if you’re not happy, or too stressed, then if possible do try and find something that’s a bit better for you. Good luck👍

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@Northern Soul Little wobble. I like that.

Felt more like an earthquake at the time, but I was still able to weirdly rationalise that I was possibly over exaggerating things.

 

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7 minutes ago, MrZigster said:

@Northern Soul Little wobble. I like that.

Felt more like an earthquake at the time, but I was still able to weirdly rationalise that I was possibly over exaggerating things.

 

By “little wobble” I didn’t mean to undermine what you was going through, it seemed from your post that it was a little more serious than that, it’s just that a “little wobble” was the best phrase that my mind could cunjour up. “A funny turn” didn’t quite cut the mustard so, a “little wobble” it was😬. Either way, I hope that you’re in a better place now mate👌

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Chill out dude. The phrase "I like that", was a genuine compliment :) .

See the humour in thing's right?

 

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11 minutes ago, MrZigster said:

but I was still able to weirdly rationalise that I was possibly over exaggerating things.

I've had 'too' many an experience like that at Glastonbury. Fortunately all the situations (bar one) were confined to my youth, and when smoking dope used to often result in getting 'the fear'. The one exception to that is too primeval and painful to mention here in detail. I will say that it was witnessing someone who wasn't able to rationalise their situation, and was, as a result, in terrible mental pain. It broke my heart then, and it still does to this day. 

 

I'm not strong. I'm in fucking tears, this end. Ho hum!

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8 minutes ago, MrZigster said:

Chill out dude. The phrase "I like that", was a genuine compliment :) .

See the humour in thing's right?

 

A'men brother🤲.

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The impression that everyone else is coping is quickly remedied by looking at the rise of prescriptions of anti-depressants and the huge market for stress relief be it aromatherapy, shovelling a load of coke up your nose and shouting at hookers or ending up in the crap after beating your partner.

It's just like Instagram/Facebook - or indeed ducks. Looks great and elegant but there's a lot of thrashing about under the water.

Either way point is don't take it personally that you were too stressed, it's quite probably nothing to do with you. One super-stressful job I had became three separate positions after I left, another ground out half the team before they changed conditions and pay.... anecdotes but just to illustrate the point it's too easy to ask "why aren't *i* coping?" when it's not the right question. It's "why is it like this?" - work that out and what makes it stay that way and you'll have your answer about what to do.

There are a nasty range of companies that thrive on this - taking fresh young minds and working them hell for leather until they quit and move on, in the knowledge there's a constant stream of others to replace them.

1 hour ago, MrZigster said:

If you are in a job where you genuinely have more work than you can physically or mentally keep up with, it is your employers/managers problem. Not yours.

Spot on. And a load of digital sympathy - the depressed at Glastonbury thing feels like being a black hole's gravity well away from how everyone else is experiencing the festival, it creates a feeling of distance that just makes things worse. So difficult and trite to say/hear/accept that it's all fine, the distance is in your head and the festival is ready for you and this with open arms. My Properly Crying Glastonbury is one of my favourites 😕 cathartic - but you gotta bounce off the bottom somewhere, and it's a good place for that.

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5 minutes ago, Yoghurt on a Stick said:

I've had 'too' many an experience like that at Glastonbury. Fortunately all the situations (bar one) were confined to my youth, and when smoking dope used to often result in getting 'the fear'. The one exception to that is too primeval and painful to mention here in detail. I will say that it was witnessing someone who wasn't able to rationalise their situation, and was, as a result, in terrible mental pain. It broke my heart then, and it still does to this day. 

 

I'm not strong. I'm in fucking tears, this end. Ho hum!

Bloody hell Yog🙁, that's such a moving song anyway, without anyone having anymore need to have additional sad meaning to it. Stay strong. Everybody in this thread stay strong. X

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4 minutes ago, frostypaw said:

...the depressed at Glastonbury thing feels like being a black hole's gravity well away from how everyone else is experiencing the festival, it creates a feeling of distance that just makes things worse.

Yeah. That. Well put.

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Slightly overwhelmed by everyone’s thoughtful, kind responses. Thanks so much 😊

For a bit of context, I work in the city as a lawyer so it’s not stressful like your job @Northern Soul (which sounds slightly terrifying!) but stressful in its own way where everyone wants more and more and more. I’m feeling at the moment like the “prestige” (excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a bit) and money aren’t worth it. Don’t suppose anyone else here is a lawyer?

I suppose the only thing holding me back is that I have to be self sufficient and am the main earner in our house so taking the plunge into another career is a risk. 

Hearing all your stories is really comforting. @Yoghurt on a Stick @MrZigster you both sound like you’re stronger than you realise and I hope that knowing you’ve brought a bit of comfort to a total stranger on the internet today puts a smile on your faces 

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8 hours ago, HS94 said:

Sounds like you're having a rotten time of things mate, obviously I don't know the circumstances or anything, so a bit limited in the advice I can give, always willing to listen if you wanna shoot me a pm though. Failing that, sending good vibes your way!

Thank you ☺️ I might take you up on that! Just gotta do a tiny little Wednesday and get through another week!

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Here's a possibly unhelpful analogy: when you're starting out, you're swimming out hard against all the waves with your surfboard. You see all the arseholes flying past. But one day that'll be you. The further and harder you swim when young, the better the cruise into the beach later.

I'm on my surfboard (I've fallen off a lot of times), I'm looking at that beach, I'm not looking back at the hard swim out, no rear view mirror.

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32 minutes ago, hfuhruhurr said:

Here's a possibly unhelpful analogy: when you're starting out, you're swimming out hard against all the waves with your surfboard. You see all the arseholes flying past. But one day that'll be you. The further and harder you swim when young, the better the cruise into the beach later.

I'm on my surfboard (I've fallen off a lot of times), I'm looking at that beach, I'm not looking back at the hard swim out, no rear view mirror.

As much as I like this analogy as I'm at a place now where I'm struggling (studying whilst working full time) for my "cruise into the beach" I do think that not everyone can "swim hard" without getting burnt out. 

Life can be really tough though sometimes  we all need to take a breather and rest & recoup. 

Glastonbury is fantastic but like people have said it's not a rest, it's not real life and it's only 5 days a year.

We need to work on making the other 300+ days a year more enjoyable - not all of them , because lets be realistic some days are going  to suck but it's these downs that will make the ups even sweeter. 

Take a step back and take Glastonbury out of the picture, which aspects of your life are you happy with?

If it's just your job that is making you miserable then you have to look into changing it. Can you change your hours/ employer/ maybe a slight change of direction using your law qualifications.  

 

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45 minutes ago, gmb1992 said:

As much as I like this analogy as I'm at a place now where I'm struggling (studying whilst working full time) for my "cruise into the beach" I do think that not everyone can "swim hard" without getting burnt out. 

Life can be really tough though sometimes  we all need to take a breather and rest & recoup. 

Glastonbury is fantastic but like people have said it's not a rest, it's not real life and it's only 5 days a year.

We need to work on making the other 300+ days a year more enjoyable - not all of them , because lets be realistic some days are going  to suck but it's these downs that will make the ups even sweeter. 

Take a step back and take Glastonbury out of the picture, which aspects of your life are you happy with?

If it's just your job that is making you miserable then you have to look into changing it. Can you change your hours/ employer/ maybe a slight change of direction using your law qualifications.  

 

Yeah exactly, I should probably clarify that I’m not literally living for Glastonbury haha. It is a huge part of my life but it’s not everything - I think it just threw my situation into stark relief. 

Really it is just my job. I’ve got supportive family and friends, boyfriend, nice place to live etc. I’m incredibly lucky. I’m just not the type of person who’s life is about work (probably chose the wrong career didn’t I) and I find that it seeps into everything else I do because I’m never not worrying about it. 

To use @hfuhruhurr‘s surfing analogy, I feel like I’ve been given a surf board and chucked out to sea, but no one’s taught me how to use the damn thing 😅

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