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Your Dream Line Up


blutarsky
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Inspired by the 2020 headliners thread, what would be your dream Glasto? 
As in, I want a full on massive list of your favourite acts and where you think they'd best fit in at your dream festival.

Obviously this will be clash central, and you'd never be able to see everyone, so I'm giving everyone the ability to teleport to different locations instantaneously, and the ability to split into multiple versions of themselves so they can see 2, 3 4 or even 5 acts at a time. 

And since we're being ridiculous, why not give you the ability to include acts that no longer exist or have died (although personally I'm going to try and limit myself on that one). 

Here's mine. I've gone for groupings of similar artists on the same stages on the same day:

Pyramid

Friday                          Saturday                                    Sunday
Pixies                           Foo Fighters                             Sigur Ros
Sonic Youth                Smashing Pumpkins               The Jesus & Mary Chain
Aphex Twin                 Black Keys                                Arcade Fire 
Modest Mouse           Breeders                                   White Stripes 
Pavement                    LCD Soundsystem                  Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Dinosaur Jr                 Pearl Jam                                 The Walkmen
Beck                             Queens of the Stone Age       Santigold                                    

Other

Friday                               Saturday                           Sunday
Bon Iver                           Biggie Smalls                    Nirvana
PJ Harvey                        Eminem                             Weezer
Belle & Sebastian           Dre                                     Blink-182
British Sea Power           Mobb Deep                      NOFX
Arab Strap                        Sugar Hill Gang               Rancid       
Teenage Fanclub            Nas                                    Black Flag
Frightened Rabbit           Gil Scott Heron                Misfits

West Holts

Friday                                    Saturday                                           Sunday
The Specials                        Joy Division                                      Rage Against The Machine
Madness                               Stone Roses                                    Incubus
The Beat                               The Smiths                                       Sublime
Toots & The Maytals           Talking Heads                                 Operation Ivy
The Selecter                         Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers   Ray Charles
Songhoy Blues                     Bob Dylan                                         Johnny Cash

John Peel Tent

Friday                                             Saturday                          Sunday
Death From Above 1979             Fugazi                               Nick Cave
Foals                                               Gerry Cinnamon              Ian Dury & The Blockheads
Glassjaw                                        The Shins                          Raconteurs
Fontaines DC                                Jose Gonzalez                 James
Drenge                                           Pip Blom                            Leonard Cohen

The Park

Friday                                     Saturday                                   Sunday
Fleetwood Mac                     Red Hot Chilli Peppers            Libertines
Florence & the Machine      The Frames                               Undertones
Amy Winehouse                    I Am Kloot                                 Beastie Boys
The Hives                               Daughter                                   Wolfmother
Stiff Little Fingers                 HAIM                                         Wolf Alice

I’m not massively knowledgeable on electronic music at all, although I do really enjoy it. That means my line-up for Arcadia is a bit of a mish mash and also short, while below that I’ve just put a list of electronic artists I enjoy in the SE corner.

Arcadia

Friday                            Saturday                        Sunday
Fatboy Slim                  Daft Punk                       New Order
Prodigy                         Massive Attack             Chemical Brothers
Carl Cox                        Portishead                     Moby

SE Corner

Bonobo
Alan Fitzpatrick
Don Diablo
Mr Belt & Wezol
Late Of The Pier
Sigala
Syn Cole
Dauwd
Metronomy
Metric
Crystal Castles
Avicii
El Choop
Pang!

Now go ahead and slate my lineup or make your own. 

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Pymaid stage 

AM

Calvin Harris

Kings of Leon

Other stage

The 1975.

Foals

The strokes

Jon peel stage

Fatboy slim

Dave

Disclosure (DJ set) 

West holts

Sam fender

Two door cinema club

Bastille

The park stage

Muse (secret set)

Foo fighters (secret set)

Coldplay (secret set)

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12 hours ago, Hugh Jass said:

Every act that ever existed to pick from and your Saturday night headliner is the Foo Fighters?

I did say I was limiting the amount of dead artists I’d pick, and I really like the Foos. Everyone was the first dance song at my wedding and their headline set in 2017 is probably my favourite gig I’ve been to. People like what they like mate. 

12 hours ago, Rose-Colored Boy said:

Are we supposed to bear in mind likely crowd sizes for the slots we’re putting acts in? Not sure I’d want to see Sigur Ros headline the Pyramid, unless for some reason I hated them and wanted them to suffer the ignominy of a deserted field.

I hadn’t given it that much thought - but you’re probably right. I wa simagining a sea of people transfixed by Sigur Ros, and the Pyramid was the biggest sea of people. I saw Sigur Ros at the Eden Sessions several years ago and it was a mesmerising experience.  

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13 hours ago, Rose-Colored Boy said:

Are we supposed to bear in mind likely crowd sizes for the slots we’re putting acts in? Not sure I’d want to see Sigur Ros headline the Pyramid, unless for some reason I hated them and wanted them to suffer the ignominy of a deserted field.

Sigur Ros on the Pyramid vs a resurrected Nirvana on Other would lead to friends and family only watching the Hopelandic lads.

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15 hours ago, blutarsky said:

West Holts

Friday                                    Saturday                                           Sunday
The Specials                        Joy Division                                      Rage Against The Machine
Madness                               Stone Roses                                    Incubus
The Beat                               The Smiths                                       Sublime
Toots & The Maytals           Talking Heads                                 Operation Ivy
The Selecter                         Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers   Ray Charles
Songhoy Blues                     Bob Dylan                                         Johnny Cash

Not sure you get the vibe at West Holts at all, more disco, more funk, more jazz, more world music, more hip hop, more groove, more fun. 

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Top of my most wanted list is Tom Waits, but I really don't know where he'd play. If he headlined the Pyramid I'd worry he wouldn't go down well with the casuals. A tent would be best for atmosphere but would be stupidly busy. Headline Other just seems a bit meh for such a legend. Despite being the greatest artist going I'm not sure how to make him work at the festival maybe the fantasy should just be another UK tour.

 

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1 hour ago, mcshed said:

Sigur Ros on the Pyramid vs a resurrected Nirvana on Other would lead to friends and family only watching the Hopelandic lads.

Yeah, I mean, you’re absolutely right. 

1 hour ago, mcshed said:

Not sure you get the vibe at West Holts at all, more disco, more funk, more jazz, more world music, more hip hop, more groove, more fun. 

I get the vibe, but this is my dream lineup and I’m not a big jazz fan so fuck it. Also, the ska bands are Caribbean influenced, so sort of a slightly world music flavour. And you could always stick my TOS Saturday on West Holts. 

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6 minutes ago, blutarsky said:

I get the vibe, but this is my dream lineup and I’m not a big jazz fan so fuck it. Also, the ska bands are Caribbean influenced, so sort of a slightly world music flavour. And you could always stick my TOS Saturday on West Holts. 

Move Indie Manchester Saturday on to the Other and get the Rap stars on West Holts and you're certainly improving things. A bit less Ska and some more Reggae and Dub to spice up your Roots, Riddim Friday then just scrap Sunday and start again. 

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11 minutes ago, mcshed said:

Move Indie Manchester Saturday on to the Other and get the Rap stars on West Holts and you're certainly improving things. A bit less Ska and some more Reggae and Dub to spice up your Roots, Riddim Friday then just scrap Sunday and start again. 

Constructive criticism! To be fair, West Holts Sunday was the last bit I did, so it was a case of shoving on acts I wanted to feature and hadn't put anywhere else. Ray Charles would be a good fit though. 

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2 minutes ago, blutarsky said:

Constructive criticism! To be fair, West Holts Sunday was the last bit I did, so it was a case of shoving on acts I wanted to feature and hadn't put anywhere else. Ray Charles would be a good fit though. 

Yeah use Brother Ray as the lynch pin and put some soul into it, James Brown, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder get Ronnie Spector back after she smashed it on the Park a few years back. Let Craig Charles have a DJ set first thing to get things moving or just have him playing tunes all day between bands.

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Trying to keep the unrealistic placements and dead/defunct acts to a reasonable minimum..

Friday

Py: Beyoncé/Kendrick Lamar/Janelle Monae/Billie Eilish/Joni Mitchell/Kacey Musgraves/The Zombies

OS: Bon Iver/Beck/Two Door Cinema Club/Brandon Flowers/Frank Turner/Nick Mulvey/Iron & Wine

JP: Alabama Shakes/Franz Ferdinand/McFly/Chromeo/Bleachers/No Rome/MisterWives

WH: Peter Gabriel/Anderson .Paak/Caribou/Gerry Rafferty/Young Fathers/Caravan Palace

Park: James Blake/Sampha/Beirut/Jessie Ware/Courtney Barnett/Amanda Palmer/Pussy Riot/Dorian Electra

Saturday

Py: Prince & Third Eye Girl/The 1975/St Vincent/Judy Garland/Ella Fitzgerald/The Psychedelic Furs

OS: The Strokes/Lorde/Paolo Nutini/Carly Rae Jepsen/First Aid Kit/Foster The People/Sea Girls

JP: London Grammar/Lily Allen/Jungle/Pale Waves/Stealing Sheep/Empire of the Sun/Chromatics/ALASKALASKA

WH: Marvin Gaye/Scissor Sisters/Kelis/Randy Newman/Al Bowlly/Laura Mvula/Tune-Yards

Park: Hall & Oates/Damien Rice/Everything Everything/George The Poet/Anthony & The Johnsons/Lord Huron

Sunday

Py: Elton John/Taylor Swift (playing Red in full)/John Legend/ABBA/Bryan Adams/Maggie Rogers

OS: Frank Ocean/Robyn/Chvrches/Lykke Li/Spoon/Pip Blom/Betty Who

JP: Paramore/HAIM/La Roux/Public Service Broadcasting/Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper play the music of ‘A Star Is Born’/Eliza and the Bear/Sports Team/illuminati hotties

WH: Bob Marley & The Wailers/Kamasi Washington/Mark Ronson/The Comet Is Coming/Jose Gonzalez/KOKOROKO

Park: LCD Soundsystem/Goldfrapp/Gossip/Blur (secret set)/Max Richter/Tobias Jesso Jr./Hunter Hayes

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This is probably more just thoughts tbh.

I’d love to see Beyoncé headline the festival again with the material that she has now. Didn’t see her in 2011 and I doubt it would happen but I think she’s come along way since then. I reckon if she did it again she could easily put on one of the greatest shows the pyramid has seen. At least you know the set would be completely different to last time.

In a similar fashion to see Blur again and this time on the pyramid would be very special. Again, wasn’t there in 2009 and it might happen again but probably not for a long time.

Florence deserves another crack at glasto but I struggle to think where should play now.

Pulp absolutely need to return.

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28 minutes ago, dentalplan said:

Portishead on Arcadia has just nuked my brain.

In a good way or a bad way?

Fuck knows how it would work but I think you could do great things with Trip Hop and the crane. The crane did come from Portishead docks after all. 

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Going to try and keep this vaguely realistic in terms of placements, only one stage and acts who are still alive and have either toured fairly recently or are able to reform:

Fri: Radiohead > The National > Yeah Yeah Yeahs > Dizzee > Parquet Courts > Libertines

Sat: Blur > Pulp > Beck > First Aid Kit > Solange > Confidence Man

Sun: Kendrick > QOTSA > Wolf Alice > Elton (L) > The Kills > Fontaines DC

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4 hours ago, blutarsky said:

In a good way or a bad way?

Fuck knows how it would work but I think you could do great things with Trip Hop and the crane. The crane did come from Portishead docks after all. 

In a bad way I suppose, because Portishead are way downtempo for Arcadia. Though I've not been since the days where the firebreathing spider reigned supreme so maybe it's more chilled out nowadays after her removal from power.

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