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Overheards and funnies


alibear
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5 hours ago, wro_lap said:

Was this on Thursday? I recall him walking past me, repeatedly shouting words to the effect of “if there are any undercover police officers or security guards, please stay away from me. I am not carrying any suspicious substances or items. Thank you”

(can’t remember the exact quote, really hope someone recalls)

When I walked past he was just getting taken to the ground by the police and was screaming "Someone call the police I'm being assaulted!"

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In what I'm pretty sure was BEAM in the Greenpeace Fields (the wooden ring thing with bee projections all over it) late Wednesday night/early Thursday morning when a seriously off his chump bloke wandered in, only to immediately turn and gtfo of there whilst shouting, in one of the broadest scouse accents I've ever heard: "Seriously, SWERVE IT!"

--

Came across a bloke dressed as Noah (fake beard, robes, crook) by the toilets at the back of the Other Field during Dave. When I noticed his lack of shoes and the subsequent state of his feet I asked how he was managing without wearing shoes. He looked at me as if I was asking the stupidest question in the world and said completely deadpan and totally seriously: "Noah doesn't wear shoes."

--

Fairly certain when walking across Bella's Bridge at one point I overheard someone claiming to be selling Women's World Cup final tickets.

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6 hours ago, waltere said:

Fairly certain when walking across Bella's Bridge at one point I overheard someone claiming to be selling Women's World Cup final tickets.

there was a guy on there offering all sorts of wierd shite for sale - can't remember what he was saying when I passed, but I reckon it was the same guy.

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7 hours ago, waltere said:

Fairly certain when walking across Bella's Bridge at one point I overheard someone claiming to be selling Women's World Cup final tickets.

 

1 hour ago, eFestivals said:

there was a guy on there offering all sorts of wierd shite for sale - can't remember what he was saying when I passed, but I reckon it was the same guy.

Was it Billy McFarland or one of his chum(p)s?

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11 hours ago, waltere said:

Came across a bloke dressed as Noah (fake beard, robes, crook) by the toilets at the back of the Other Field during Dave. When I noticed his lack of shoes and the subsequent state of his feet I asked how he was managing without wearing shoes. He looked at me as if I was asking the stupidest question in the world and said completely deadpan and totally seriously: "Noah doesn't wear shoes."

This is my favourite so far ???

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5 hours ago, eFestivals said:

there was a guy on there offering all sorts of wierd shite for sale - can't remember what he was saying when I passed, but I reckon it was the same guy.

Wasnt he the guy from Theatre and Circus?  Ive seen him doing other bits Im sure - and in the West Holts Bar (incidentally - Im sure you were in there?  is that possible?)  

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5 hours ago, eFestivals said:

there was a guy on there offering all sorts of wierd shite for sale - can't remember what he was saying when I passed, but I reckon it was the same guy.

He was part of the circus field, pretending to be a dodgy tout (he was offering tickets to see the headliners etc) 

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2 minutes ago, eFestivals said:

do you mean the public bar, or the backstage one? I was in both, tho the public bar just once, for an hour or so on Thursday arvo.

the backstage one, 'twas the bridge that got me thinking about it.  I think I met you a few years ago when I was absolutely hammered and vaguely recognised you!  

 

As long as Im not going (more) mad!

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13 minutes ago, stuwilky said:

the backstage one, 'twas the bridge that got me thinking about it.  I think I met you a few years ago when I was absolutely hammered and vaguely recognised you!  

 

As long as Im not going (more) mad!

yeah, was in there hiding from the sun on the 2 very hot afternoons, and at other times too.

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3 minutes ago, eFestivals said:

yeah, was in there hiding from the sun on the 2 very hot afternoons, and at other times too.

Its a great bar, seen some fine acts in there over the last few years as well.   Wasnt that much movement of air in the new location though I thought

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36 minutes ago, eFestivals said:

did you catch snapped ankles? They were great.

No, I missed them, got distracted - watched Broken Bones Matilda and Jurassic 5, Yamaya (I think anyway!) and some of Flamingods!

 I really liked Broken Bones Matilda though, great duo!

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Whilst admiring the subtlety of our friendly Liverpudlian police dodger as he raged about the necessity for the cops to stay away from him, a group of scouse girls walked past me and one said “see, it’s fu**ing nobheads like him who give us a bad reputation”.

Edited by Control Shift Delete
Bad not bed
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From an (I'd guess at) mid thirties woman (i.e. not a child):

"There's seagulls here! Why are there seagulls here? We're nowhere near the sea."

Wrong on at least a couple of levels. And, where in the UK don't you get gulls? I want to retire there. They're a 'kin pest 'round our way.

Made me giggle anyway.

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Saturday night on my way through Big Ground back to Tom's field a young bloke asked me "excuse me mate where is the pyramid stage i need to catch Stormzy"

I pointed at the big stage in front of him and politely reminded him that it was saturday night and Stormzy played "last night"

His response: "fuck I need to quit drugs"

Whilst walking away shouting at himself for missing 2 days of Glastonbury.

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21 hours ago, eFestivals said:

did you catch snapped ankles? They were great.

Ha I was in there for that, I was the very wobbly guy to the left wearing a pale tie-dye sort of shirt. That was the only time I managed to catch them the whole weekend and it blew me away, top three set of the weekend. Can't believe they were wearing gillie suits and not sweating out in there. 

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