Jump to content

The Joke Thread


CeriG
 Share

Recommended Posts

 A bloke takes two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Road Show

”Aah!” said the presenter enthusiastically, “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers, taxidermists, who operated in London at the turn of the last century. 
Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?” 

 

Bloke answers "Sticks"?

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites


Interesting fact: Bono was ill the evening before they recorded ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’ in 1985, but he was very relieved to only be diagnosed with catarrh rather than something more serious...

“Well tonight thank God it’s phlegm instead of flu....”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, cidy said:


Interesting fact: Bono was ill the evening before they recorded ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’ in 1985, but he was very relieved to only be diagnosed with catarrh rather than something more serious...

“Well tonight thank God it’s phlegm instead of flu....”

I have heard this word said hundreds of times but never would I have thought it was spelt like this

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I may have posted this before. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I did. However, like the wild bore that I am, I'm going to post it again;

 

Letter to a men's helpline...

Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Now for your help with my problem - Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?

 
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...