"I'm never, ever doing that again!"

[Woffy]

Following on from some people's horror stories in the 'Exit Strategy' thread, what have you absolutely promised yourself you won't do again at this year's festival?

Mine's pretty boring, tbh.

Other than getting so trollied I missed a headliner, I will never, ever bring a sack truck loaded with booze to save myself making the odd early morning trip back to the car. Lugging that bloody thing to the group's preferred campsite was utterly horrific. Plus i don't mind an early hangover-clearing wander to the car with brekky on the way back. It helps that we get in the Tuesday night queue so i'm always parked as close as possible to the gate.

[Quark]

1. I will never again carry in a netting bag of firewood. First time I went. I'd rather scavenge on site and keep all of my fingers.

2. Unless the only other option is soiling myself, I will never again go for a shit in a longdrop in the rain. Not for any hygiene or practical reason, just because when I did it was the single saddest shit I ever had in my life.

[Hugh Jass]

Definitely agree with the “taking more than you need” thing. I really, really hate having to lug stuff to/from the car. I’ve got my packing list down the bare minimum now, I don’t even bother taking booze, I just buy what I want on there.

My never again is to start going too hard too early in the day. It’s never gone well.

[Homer]

Had to install a few rules a few years ago. Don't start drinking until midday. Don;' start drinking until I've eaten something.

Red wine for breakfast is not a winning long-term strategy kids!

[Quark]

2 minutes ago, Homer said:

Had to install a few rules a few years ago. Don't start drinking until midday. Don;' start drinking until I've eaten something.

Red wine for breakfast is not a winning long-term strategy kids!

in 2016 I'd forgotten to top up my water bottle before bed so only liquid available when I woke up was the cider I'd picked up at Castle Cary.  Ended up brushing my teeth with it too.

Coincidentally that was the same day I forgot which bands I'd seen and passed out standing up to Disclosure. Hmm...

[Sasperella]

I think I have three:

1. Covered in the exit thread - I will never walk from Rivermead to the purple/blue car parking with all my shit at 7am on the Monday morning with one hours sleep.

I was fine when we left. By the time I got to the car, I crumpled into a heap and was apparently crying and vomiting at the same time. Thus started a reasonably horrific car and train journey back to Banbury and two full days in bed, culminating in having a wisdom tooth out on the Thursday. NEVER be stupid enough to do this. 

2. Don't get so excited that I drink a bottle of JD honey before my friends even arrive

It was 2016 and they were stuck in that 13 hour traffic jam from London. I ended up going to meet them at Gate D at around 6pm and they found me passed out on a pile of wood chip. I then woke up and had a blazing row with a guy I was seeing who was staying in crew camping whilst he was carrying my stuff to our campsite in Rivermead. Shameful. I like to think that's more his fault than the JD Honey, but would probably rather avoid being at Glastonbury without a significant other to avoid any such future incidents.

3. I will endeavour NOT to lose/break/run out of my battery on my phone.

This has not only happened at the last two Glastonburys, but also at Shambala and Boomtown in 2018 - and on at least two occasions it wasn't even because I was drunk. This year I'm essentially the lynchpin of my crew, so if I go incommunicado again, it won't go down well. I plan to take at least five phones with me to alleviate this risk. 

Edited April 30, 2019 by Sasperella

[gratefulbread]

I will spend an entire day drinking questionable orchard scraper cider without eating, which prompted the worst case of the runs I have EVER had during Faithless in 2002. The opening beats of Insomnia still bring me terrors to this day. 

I will not use psychedelics on Sunday night. 

 

 

 

[lobo]

I’ll never again think a one man pop up tent is enough room for myself and all the shit I bring. It could barely contain my rucksack. Felt like I was sleeping in a bin bag all weekend. I should have done that actually. At least it would have been waterproof. 3 man tent all the way since 2005.

[Tommy Dickfingers]

K holed outside my tent one night. Could hear people laughing and kept picturing myself wriggling around in the mud being laughed at like on them videos. After a while I’d accepted my fate that I had finally gone insane and this was it for the rest of my days trapped in my head. 

Finally came around after what felt like a lifetime and crawled into my tent.

Horrendous. 

[Quark]

2 minutes ago, lobo said:

I’ll never again think a one man pop up tent is enough room for myself and all the shit I bring. It could barely contain my rucksack. Felt like I was sleeping in a bin bag all weekend. I should have done that actually. At least it would have been waterproof. 3 man tent all the way since 2005.

Ha, my brother made that mistake at BDs last year as it was his first camping festival. His tent was the one-man emergency bivvi he's got for his trekking in the Brecons. Was great fun watching him struggle to get dressed while I was enjoying the space in my 3-man

[stuartbert two hats]

I regret nothing.

[tarw]

Leaving my then 16 year old son in the tent to explore the naughty corner partaking in the appropriate sustenance to party.  Got back to the tent at 05:30.  Son woke up at 7:00 wanting breakfast pestering me t get going so that we made the most of the day.  It was a very hard day!  Managed to keep myself going but it totally wrecked the Arctic Monkeys set for me as I was a shivering gibbering wreck by that point.

[Woffy]

Just now, stuartbert two hats said:

I regret nothing.

Sunburn in the pre-hats days?

17 minutes ago, Quark said:

1. I will never again carry in a netting bag of firewood. First time I went. I'd rather scavenge on site and keep all of my fingers.

You know you can buy it there, right?

[AmyShambles]

I'll never drive again, lugging stuff from car park to site (and back again on the Monday) is hell.  Also means you can't really enjoy the Sunday knowing you've got a long drive back the next day.

This year I am planning on not getting on the cans as soon as I wake up, will leave it until midday-ish.  Going to make sure I drink more water too.

[stuartbert two hats]

Just now, Woffy said:

Sunburn in the pre-hats days?

Nothing. Everything I have done has led me to this place.

I don't intend  to go without sunblock again, but I can't guarantee that I won't.

[cb4747]

Leave on the Sunday again.

 

Don't go there ?

[Woffy]

20 minutes ago, Homer said:

Don't start drinking until midday. Don;' start drinking until I've eaten something.

 

13 minutes ago, gratefulbread said:

I will not use psychedelics on Sunday night. 

 

2 minutes ago, AmyShambles said:

This year I am planning on not getting on the cans as soon as I wake up, will leave it until midday-ish.  Going to make sure I drink more water too.

Bet you do though!

[lobo]

1 minute ago, Quark said:

Ha, my brother made that mistake at BDs last year as it was his first camping festival. His tent was the one-man emergency bivvi he's got for his trekking in the Brecons. Was great fun watching him struggle to get dressed while I was enjoying the space in my 3-man

Excellent. It is hilarious watching someone trying to function inside of one. My misery provided hours of entertainment over the weekend for my group.

Still, could have been worse and accidentally ordered a hamster tent...

[The Nal]

Nothing wrong with starting at midday for fucks sake. Nothing wrong with starting at 11am for that matter.

Only thing I don't do now is bring a lot. Bringing fuck all with you in the key. 

[Quark]

2 minutes ago, lobo said:

Excellent. It is hilarious watching someone trying to function inside of one. My misery provided hours of entertainment over the weekend for my group.

The thing I miss most is a couple of guys who don't really go anymore, who had absolutely no practical ability to put up a tent.  Provided a double whammy of entertainment, firstly sitting back with a tin and smoke watching them trying to put the thing up, and secondly (at least once over the weekend) watching them try to extricate themselves in the morning after it had collapsed on them overnight.

[Quark]

10 minutes ago, Woffy said:

You know you can buy it there, right?

I do now. Thanks for that one Captain Obvious.

[AmyShambles]

9 minutes ago, Woffy said:

 

 

Bet you do though!

Most likely, I do love a warm can of cider for breakfast.

[the_arsonist]

I’ll never have a super spicy curry when I’m trashed again at glasto. I’m not the best with spice in the real world but it was intensely unpleasant, painful and day ruining!

[marathonsteve]

Some blighter switched some of the signposts round in 2017 when we were near to the festival and arriving early. We were going round in circles for a while in the car till we twigged and asked a steward in a hi vis where the correct route was. We thought it was us but we were chatting to our Team leader and he said the same thing happen to him. Now we will ask.

[Homer]

13 minutes ago, Woffy said:

 

 

Bet you do though!

I did crack on the Sunday and have a beer while I was watching Slaves open the other last time. I managed to hold myself together for the day too!